The Next Poster...

[Pulg]

How else am I supposed to get down the stairs in my pyjamas?

The next poster has caught a pair of Australians Unawares. What were they doing?

[Old Doc Flumph]

They were Out Back.

The next poster decided to try something nobody else had ever done before.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

I've decided to try and take on the position left by GoatToucher...

Never again! Court mandated order (and public outcry) have forbidden it, the killjoys!

The next poster will tell us another reason to not replace GoatToucher.

[GoatToucher]

Because Hubris has lead to the annihilation of many a classic figure.

The next poster will tell us whether or not I should begin to remove... things... from our undead friend, Fester: in the name of science (and light entertainment) of course.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Probably not, but you'll do it anyway.

The next poster will assist.

[Sliska Zafir]

I will, but let's be clear, not willingly. GoatToucher has a way of making you think one thing and doing another.

That said, the next poster will show the things removed.

[Vampire Schism]

Holds up Nosferatu Fester Addams heart encased in crystal
Can't remove his heart. I did it last year and I'm not giving it up.

The next poster is green with envy.

[Mr. Grinch]

No, I think that you'll find that I'm green because... you know what, nevermind!

The next poster is definitely envious, but not green with it.

[KahnyaGnorc]

It's more of a purple.

The next poster is purple with [REDACTED]

[Kat's Eye]

You bet your sweet [REDACTED] I am.
Ever since [REDACTED]

The next poster is blue.

[I'm DMing In Your Closet]

And look what I can do!
*pokes the next poster*

The next poster must now make a DC 1d100 ⇒ 38 Fortitude save or be turned to stone!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, think you misread that spell. Turned into a stoner. Way out, man!

The next poster, like, is totally into, like, stoner culture.

[Goth Guru]

My Medusa joke is funny if your stoned.

The next poster also has a greek myth joke to share.

[Charles Scholz]

Hercules and Zeus walk into a bar...
The next poster knows the punchline.

[Pulg]

"Ouch!", say Zeus and Hercules, "Who put that bar there?"

The next poster has successfully marketed Nessian underwear.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Aye, Nessie's a big lass. She got really big underwear.

The next poster is a real giant-monster-undergarment entrepreneur.

[GoatToucher]

Otyugh? We'll make them Otysnugh!

The next poster is a renowned Otyugh groom.

[Sliska Zafir]

I'm either a sewer monster about to be married, or a feverishly desperate kobold hellbent on escaping. Your choice, but may I remind you, the otyugh is hungry.

The next poster has a poster of a poster, and will tell us why.

[KahnyaGnorc]

And it is autographed! The problem is that the poster on the poster is GoatToucher, so the auction market is . . . limited.

The next poster has the scoop about the previous two posters and publishing it in the Post, but will post a teaser....

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Well, I did have the scoop, but it's been forbidden from publication.

Probably because it involved GoatToucher.

The next poster is furious this thread has been revived.

[Pulg]

I spent ages removing all those Vivs, and now look! Boo! Boo! Rubbish!

The next poster is heir to the throne of Normandy.

[Fish-Malkovich]

And to think, I don't have any hair and my name's not Norman!

The next poster, despite being a chimpanzee, will give us The Full Monkey!

[R2-FU]

*rolls up covered in what is obviously the upper-half only of an ape-suit, opens a hatch on side from which a silver monkey-idol is somewhat violently ejected*

*beepbeepwhistlewhistleBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP....*

[Beep Beep]

Beep Beep!

Beep Beep Beep Beep!

[Nellie the Elephant]

Trumpety trump, trump, trump, trump!

The next poster tells us why they said goodbye to the circus.

[Dr. Lao, the Mysterious Visitor]

The modern world in general, ruined the wonder that my circus brings.

The next poster is hunting for Nellie the Elephant!

[AM TARDIGRADE]

AM TARDIGRADE! SHOOT ELEPHANT IN PAJAMAS ONE NIGHT! REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW ELEPHANT MANAGED TO GET INTO TARDIGRADE-PAJAMAS!!!!!!!!!

AM TARDIGRADE! NEXT POSTER ISN'T! 5d20 ⇒ (9, 14, 6, 8, 13) = 50 PERCENT OF NEXT POSTER HAS TURNED TO JELL-O!

[GoatToucher]

I feel so... jiggly!

The next poster will make a meal of me.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Time to put my training as apprentice to GoatToucher to good use!

*Puts on chef's hat and apron.*

Jambi, get me five crates of ice cream, and twelve barrels of custard!

The next poster will now tell us what ungodly abomination I've just made!

[Skiron]

Not so much a man as...a BLANCMANGE!!!

The next poster has a most creatively wicked use for an army of gigantic man-blancmange hybrids!

[Andrew "Flux" Kidwell]

I don't like considering myself an evil genius, but an army of gigantic man-blancmange hybrids running on equally gigantic hamster wheels is a cost effective way to power my generators.

The next poster is the one who told me to build the Skannerz to save the world.

[GoatToucher]

"Shave." Shave the world. Dolphin smooth.

The next poster will dance, Oh, how they will dance!

[Project: J-ko]

YOU AIN'T LYIN' FRIEND. YOU AIN'T LYIN' FRIEND.

The next poster will critique my dancing fairly.

[Kali Altzairu]

You must not swing your fists so idly!
They belong, as often as possible, in somebody's face.

The next poster has graciously volunteered their own face for *cracks knuckles* just such a demonstration....

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Me, me, me! Swing your fists into my face, please!

The next poster is just dumbfounded by my gracious volunteering.

[Cluny the Scourge]

....I'm completely dumbfounded.

The next poster has a nighttime job they would like to share.

[Reiner's Tigerskin Rug]

I moonlight as a vibrating foot rest (small stool not included).

The next poster does a fair bit of moonlighting themselves.

[TriOmegaZero]

My brother was stage crew in theater, so the obvious way to one up him was doing the lighting for the actual moon.

The next poster also has some rivalry issues.

[The Phantom of the Opera]

Why, the stories I could tell - buuut we've finally begun working them out!

The next poster has been sent a mysterious note, and will now read it to us aloud.

[Pulg]

Let's see.

'Tinky Winky,
Dipsy,
Lala,
Po;
Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say:
'We have your wives held captive. Leave $50,000 in used notes behind the old fireworks factory, or you will never see them again''

The next poster will mount a daring rescue.

[Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!]

We, the Dukes of HUZZAH-RD, will not rest until Pulg's Wives are safe and free!

It is but a most unfortunate circumstance that Pulg himself cares very little!

The next poster will figure out why the British Teletubbies want American money...

After, the next poster puts cotton buds in their aching ears.

[Goth Guru]

Money with the queen on it is becoming obsolete. Also, they've outgrown their show. They haven't made a new episode in decades.

The next poster gets my taking sarcasm literally.

[Fish-Malkovich]

Always wondered why you carry that "Jar of Containment" with you.

The next poster has just realised that Count Reiner Heydrich is winning the on "The Last Post Wins" thread! And will make every attempt to take back the win by any means necessary!

[Safety Cat]

By any means except actually posting in that thread, I think you meant.

The next poster takes safety seriously.

[GoatToucher]

Quite so. One would hate to have cross contamination in my subjects while at work in my shop.

The next poster is cleaning my apron for me.

[The Disney Villain Council]

Maleficent: Well, how is the cleaning process going?

Pete: It's a lot tougher than we thought, GoatToucher experiments quite frequently.

Yzma: I've used every type of potion I have, even ordinary washing powder has no effect!

Jafar: Shouldn't we be using GoatToucher brand washing powder?

Ursula: Would've made it easier from the start!

Tamatoa: Alright, chill out everyone, let's stay focused here.

Queen of Hearts: Quite right, GoatToucher needs his apron for tonight's demonstration!

Gantu: Next poster, what is GoatToucher's next demonstration again?

[Wotan, Guardian of Midweek]

Der Ziegenberührer shall play us all a glorious hymn to ring in the morn' of MITTWOCH, upon his musical Goat-Organ!!!

HARK, next poster! How wilt thou now assist me bringing a most urgent end to the atrocities that have hence unfolded!?

[Fish-Malkovich]

Any way that I can, though it will be a futile effort.

Next poster, with the release of Pokemon Scarlet/Violet, I want you to come up with your own Pokemon game for generation 10. Come up with a region, create your own pokemon and regional variants, etc.

[Bigger Shark]

It starts in the underwater region of REDACTED.

The next poster has a once in a lifetime opportunity.

[Goth Guru]

Pathfinder lesson plans such as finding all the differences between the core rulebook and the real world.

The next poster will test unanswerable questions for winning the last poster topic.