You have to bring up spiders. I hate spiders. The more legs it has, the less I like it. That sometimes starts at 2. When we get to 8, it's far too late.
It is said the average person eats three spiders a night.
It is also said that whenever a kitten plays with itself, god kills a teenager. Or was it vice versa?
I'd buy the teenager story before I eat the spider eat story. It has been debunked before. Those little eight-legged freaks are too afraid of human breath than even come near.
Also, it was said that you are usually never more the three feet away from a spider.
I religiously kill them in my appartment, and I don't think we have many at work, not withint less than a metre from my desk.
So that's a lie, too :P
About a month ago, I was watching TV. My TV is pretty big at about 50" widescreen or thereabouts
Translation: You used this to brag about your huge screen. I'm astonished you didn't sneak some awesome tech specs into the post, like mentioning that you have a new-fangled 1mm thick LED TV with a billion Hz and all that. ;-P
But he's still in there. And he probably has friends.
And now you want to freak me out, too.
I sometimes have that thought about a huge mother-spider, living between the walls or under the house, and one day I have to face her. Or something like that. As I said, I don't like spiders.
The more legs it has, the less I like it.
How about multiple arms?
The more legs it has, the less I like it.How about multiple arms?
Depends.
|
Once I woke up at night feeling just the slightest touch at my forehead. Thinking it was on of those pesky biting midges I hit hard at it and only when I felt it being squashed I knew that it was too big to be a fly.
Even today I feel sorry for the beautiful spider whose only mistake it was to climb down at the wrong place.
All spiders deserve everything bad that happens to them...
All spiders deserve everything bad that happens to them...
Listen to that man!
Why do I have the creeping suspicion that before long, Logue will come here with a link to a video where he cuddles and pets a tarantula?
All spiders deserve everything bad that happens to them...Listen to that man!
Why do I have the creeping suspicion that before long, Logue will come here with a link to a video where he cuddles and pets a tarantula?
The same phrase applies to Louge
I have hideous plans for the Jacks (hint: part Pony, part Care Bear).
As long as it involves cuddling I know a few Jacks that would go along with it. RAWR!
If only I could get my mouse to eat the spider...
I demand more spider avatars. It's hard to scare anyone with the Lolth mini.
I really miss the many spiders that lived in my old wooded home. City spiders just aren't the same. At least I'm closer to the book stores and game stores.
Sebastian poo.
The same phrase applies to LougeAll spiders deserve everything bad that happens to them...Listen to that man!
Why do I have the creeping suspicion that before long, Logue will come here with a link to a video where he cuddles and pets a tarantula?
I'm dropping a package off on your doorstep, please ignore the scuttling sounds and open it...
I demand more spider avatars. It's hard to scare anyone with the Lolth mini.
I really miss the many spiders that lived in my old wooded home. City spiders just aren't the same. At least I'm closer to the book stores and game stores.
You're officially a weird freak now! :P
One of the thinks I love most about my new place is that I have virtually no spiders there. The luxuries of not living in a half-parterre, half-cellar flat any more.
All the talk about spider coddling and Logues/Louges reminds me of that one oglaf comic (if you're over 18, go look for that web comic. It was supposed to be porno comic, but devolved into a series of silly penis/sex jokes faster than a spider in acid, so be warned).
Nah, spiders are nothing to get weird or freakish about. They're awesome, and I love watching them. Now, I don't want them ON me, especially unannounced or uninvited.
Nope, all my enemies (and scores of innocent civilians) will be smooshed and remolded into My Little Ponies. I have hideous plans for the Jacks (hint: part Pony, part Care Bear).
"Um...wait - what?"
While we're on it: men don't think about sex every 7 seconds, ...
True. For some of us, it is MUCH more frequently then that.
While we're on it: men don't think about sex every 7 seconds, ...True. For some of us, it is MUCH more frequently then that.
That's due to the BELLE CURVES.
That's due to the BELLE CURVES.While we're on it: men don't think about sex every 7 seconds, ...True. For some of us, it is MUCH more frequently then that.
YES
Nope, all my enemies (and scores of innocent civilians) will be smooshed and remolded into My Little Ponies. I have hideous plans for the Jacks (hint: part Pony, part Care Bear).
"Um...wait - what?"
Wait, you're a guy and you're a Jack. I thought you all just automatically tune women out unless they are talking about sex, food, or sports?
And you can't expect a girl to just accept what the Jacks did to her home and not be a little P.O.ed?
You have to bring up spiders. I hate spiders. The more legs it has, the less I like it. That sometimes starts at 2. When we get to 8, it's far too late.
So, by that reasoning, do you hate spiders twice as much as poodles? Or does it go up by orders of magnitude?
Wait, you're a guy and you're a Jack. I thought you all just automatically tune women out unless they are talking about sex, food, or sports?
"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."
And you can't expect a girl to just accept what the Jacks did to her home and not be a little P.O.ed?
No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."
You have to bring up spiders. I hate spiders. The more legs it has, the less I like it. That sometimes starts at 2. When we get to 8, it's far too late.So, by that reasoning, do you hate spiders twice as much as poodles? Or does it go up by orders of magnitude?
Yoink!
*Comes in and swallows Ambrosia Slaad*It is no longer a danger, Jacks.
Wrath of the Spider Queen...
Eyes enlarge and sparkle.
NO! Go watch Clifford the Big Red Dog! I hear they're finally getting him put down in this episode!
Nope, all my enemies (and scores of innocent civilians) will be smooshed and remolded into My Little Ponies. I have hideous plans for the Jacks (hint: part Pony, part Care Bear)."Um...wait - what?"Wait, you're a guy and you're a Jack. I thought you all just automatically tune women out unless they are talking about sex, food, or sports?
And you can't expect a girl to just accept what the Jacks did to her home and not be a little P.O.ed?
Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.
"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."
No, I remember giving you a fairly thorough exam. You definitely aren't defective.
No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."
You don't need to apologize, but thanks anyway.
I remember engaging in slaadi guerilla tactics on both the Tanar'ri, Baatezu, and the Yugoloths during the Blood War... so, I'm not a stranger to War. After the Slaadi lost to the Jacks, it hit me unexpectantly hard. I'm afraid that with spending all my time lately as a human female, I might be getting too soft.
NO! Go watch Clifford the Big Red Dog! I hear they're finally getting him put down in this episode!Wrath of the Spider Queen...
Eyes enlarge and sparkle.
NO!
JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
C'mon Cleaver...if you watch it with me, I promise I'll clean all the cobwebs off your brass phylactery case for you. Puh-weezzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."No, I remember giving you a fairly thorough exam. You definitely aren't defective.
No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."You don't need to apologize, but thanks anyway.
I remember engaging in slaadi guerilla tactics on both the Tanar'ri, Baatezu, and the Yugoloths during the Blood War...
Yeah, we won. Losers.
NO! Go watch Clifford the Big Red Dog! I hear they're finally getting him put down in this episode!Wrath of the Spider Queen...
Eyes enlarge and sparkle.
NO!
JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C'mon Cleaver...if you watch it with me, I promise I'll clean all the cobwebs off your brass phylactery case for you. Puh-weezzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
It's not brass, you little twerp! Anyways, I'm sure they're just sending the dog to a nice humane society...go and find out.
But I want to hang out with !!!
Hops up and down, which seems to power his ability to sustain pleading without pause.
"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."No, I remember giving you a fairly thorough exam. You definitely aren't defective.
No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."You don't need to apologize, but thanks anyway.
I remember engaging in slaadi guerilla tactics on both the Tanar'ri, Baatezu, and the Yugoloths during the Blood War... so, I'm not a stranger to War. After the Slaadi lost to the Jacks, it hit me unexpectantly hard. I'm afraid that with spending all my time lately as a human female, I might be getting too soft.
There's nothing wrong with being soft. I might be biased in my opinion that subject though (after that exam, anyway... )
Yoink!
*Comes in and swallows Ambrosia Slaad*
It is no longer a danger, Jacks.
As for you- after your recent carnage, you think I'd just show up in the flesh, totally vulnerable? At least there are no calories in phantasms, otherwise your body would swell to the size of your ego, you overgrown biomechanical weed.
Nope, all my enemies (and scores of innocent civilians) will be smooshed and remolded into My Little Ponies. I have hideous plans for the Jacks (hint: part Pony, part Care Bear)."Um...wait - what?"
I do not have a good feeling about this...
You have to bring up spiders. I hate spiders. The more legs it has, the less I like it. That sometimes starts at 2. When we get to 8, it's far too late.So, by that reasoning, do you hate spiders twice as much as poodles? Or does it go up by orders of magnitude?
Yoink!
*Comes in and swallows Ambrosia Slaad*
It is no longer a danger, Jacks.
Bad PlantJack! No eating my friends!
Wait, you're a guy and you're a Jack. I thought you all just automatically tune women out unless they are talking about sex, food, or sports?"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."
And you can't expect a girl to just accept what the Jacks did to her home and not be a little P.O.ed?No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."
!!! *First Warning!*
Being a Jack means NEVER having to say you're sorry.
"Well, it does seem like I may be considered a defective Jack when it comes to that mindset(depending on who you ask)."No, I remember giving you a fairly thorough exam. You definitely aren't defective.
No - the 'P.O.ed'-ness is totally understandable, no arguments there. Sorry about all that. Strange days indeed..."You don't need to apologize, but thanks anyway.
I remember engaging in slaadi guerilla tactics on both the Tanar'ri, Baatezu, and the Yugoloths during the Blood War... so, I'm not a stranger to War. After the Slaadi lost to the Jacks, it hit me unexpectantly hard. I'm afraid that with spending all my time lately as a human female, I might be getting too soft.
Join us. You'll never lose a war again.
And we have beer. Lots of beer. And Jills. Not so many of them, but what they lack in numbers they make up for in quality. ;)
Ambrosia-Jill. It has a nice ring to it.
You know, if Ambrosia had been on the Slaad Thread at the beginning of our excursion I'm sure a compromise coulda been worked out...
And yes, I agree that the male slaadi enjoyed our redecoration efforts...
I'm dropping a package off on your doorstep, please ignore the scuttling sounds and open it...The same phrase applies to LougeAll spiders deserve everything bad that happens to them...Listen to that man!
Why do I have the creeping suspicion that before long, Logue will come here with a link to a video where he cuddles and pets a tarantula?
It lives...sigh
Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.
Slaadi are no strangers to War: hit-and-run when they can, scavenging when they can't. But to then attempt to enslave the slaadi, to brainwash them with propaganda and restoration programs from their Ministries of "Peace" and "Commerce"... the slaadi will never tolerate attempts to make them slaves.
Nick works for UPS now?
Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.Slaadi are no strangers to War: hit-and-run when they can, scavenging when they can't. But to then attempt to enslave the slaadi, to brainwash them with propaganda and restoration programs from their Ministries of "Peace" and "Commerce"... the slaadi will never tolerate attempts to make them slaves.
Heh. A part of you craves law. I mean, who'd want to try to and clean up a home for slaads!? Whereas, the Jacks have a finely balanced commitment to both law and chaos. Seems to me there's an obvious answer.
Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.Slaadi are no strangers to War: hit-and-run when they can, scavenging when they can't. But to then attempt to enslave the slaadi, to brainwash them with propaganda and restoration programs from their Ministries of "Peace" and "Commerce"... the slaadi will never tolerate attempts to make them slaves.
Heh. A part of you craves law. I mean, who'd want to try to and clean up a home for slaads!? Whereas, the Jacks have a finely balanced commitment to both law and chaos. Seems to me there's an obvious answer.Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.Slaadi are no strangers to War: hit-and-run when they can, scavenging when they can't. But to then attempt to enslave the slaadi, to brainwash them with propaganda and restoration programs from their Ministries of "Peace" and "Commerce"... the slaadi will never tolerate attempts to make them slaves.
Join us, dear Ambrosia. You shall be as a Queen amongst the Threads.
She must do what she feels is right to the force.
Hence the phrase, Man-Jack. The problem you're facing, Ambrosia, is that the [Man]Slaads loved being invaded and trashed as much as the Jacks loved invading and trashing. There are just times that there's no winning as a Woman sharing a Man-Jack's/Man-Slaad's world. And I won't even attempt explaining slaads to you.Slaadi are no strangers to War: hit-and-run when they can, scavenging when they can't. But to then attempt to enslave the slaadi, to brainwash them with propaganda and restoration programs from their Ministries of "Peace" and "Commerce"... the slaadi will never tolerate attempts to make them slaves.
Huh? Restoration programs? When did they have time for restoration programs? Most of them were too busy drinking.
Anyways, I'm sorry your home got trashed. Hopefully the boys all have it out of their system now. If you like you can borrow my Compact of Cleanliness. It can handle almost any mess.