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May I present you with two films that I think should be in the running for dumbest movie ever.
1.) The Dark Backward (1991) - A garbage man grows a third arm out of his back while trying to become a stand up comedian and then everyone screws him over.
2.) Zardos (1974) - "In the far future, a savage trained only to kill finds a way into the community of bored immortals that alone preserves humanity's achievements."
They're.....just awful.
Avengers (You know... Giant Teddy Bears!?!)
Cabin Fever (I actually was drained 1 INT point by watching this)
Brüno (ugh... Kill me now)
All pretty weak stuff.
Ultradan
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Brüno (ugh... Kill me now)
Ultradan
There was a lot of over-the-top stupid s&$! in this flick, but some of it was pretty brilliant. The attempted seduction of Ron Paul, for example. Hee hee!
May I present you with two films that I think should be in the running for dumbest movie ever.
1.) The Dark Backward (1991) - A garbage man grows a third arm out of his back while trying to become a stand up comedian and then everyone screws him over.
2.) Zardos (1974) - "In the far future, a savage trained only to kill finds a way into the community of bored immortals that alone preserves humanity's achievements."
They're.....just awful.
Oh man!! My friend had us watch the first 5 minutes of Zardos on his Netflix at game a few weeks ago and it was awesome. I refuse to watch any further because I know it will ruin it. The giant head spitting out guns while saying sex is evil is genius.
Ok here are some bad movies... I have heard about...so I don't know they actualy exists. I don't even remember the titles.
1) Is a Jerry Lewis(I think) movie. He plays a Jewish clown during nazi Germany. His 'job' in the concentration camp is to dress up as a clown and lead Jewish children into the showers...the French apparently all copies of this movie destroyed.
2) 'The Day The Clown Cried'(I think that was the title) A clown gets raped by a bunch of red necks...gets over it...gets a big time show...and gets raped by the same red necks again.
Ok I don't know about dumb...but definitly horrifing. It is strange conmversation but having a conversation with a Film Student and topic of clowns come up result in me knowing about the above. Can anybody confirm these exist?
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1) Is a Jerry Lewis(I think) movie. He plays a Jewish clown during nazi Germany. His 'job' in the concentration camp is to dress up as a clown and lead Jewish children into the showers...the French apparently all copies of this movie destroyed.
2) 'The Day The Clown Cried'(I think that was the title) A clown gets raped by a bunch of red necks...gets over it...gets a big time show...and gets raped by the same red necks again.
Ok I don't know about dumb...but definitly horrifing. It is strange conmversation but having a conversation with a Film Student and topic of clowns come up result in me knowing about the above. Can anybody confirm these exist?
The Day the Clown Cried is the unfinished Jerry Lewis movie. Not quite the same synopsis as you gave ...
Doork, a once great and famous clown, is fired from the circus. Getting drunk at a local bar, he pokes fun at Hitler in front of some Gestapo agents, who arrest and send him to a prison camp. Helmut angers his fellow prisoners by refusing to perform for them, wanting to preserve his legend. As times passes, Jews are brought into the camp, with fraternizing between them and the other prisoners strictly prohibited. Eventually, Helmut is forced by the others to perform or be beaten. His act bombs and he leaves the barracks depressed, trying the routine out again alone in the prison yard. He hears laughter and sees a group of Jewish children watching him through a fence. Happy to be appreciated again, he makes a makeshift clown suit and begins to regularly perform. His audience grows, but a new prison Commandant orders Helmut to stop. When he refuses and continues to perform, he's beaten and thrown in solitary confinement. But the Nazis soon come up with a use for Helmut, keeping the children quiet as they are loaded into a boxcar to be sent to another camp. Helmut complies, but is accidentally locked in with the children and arrives the next day at Auschwitz. Written by Jonathan D. H. Parshall <parshall@citcom.net>
Looks like the second one is Vulgar but I am not researching that one further ... creepy
1) Is a Jerry Lewis(I think) movie. He plays a Jewish clown during nazi Germany. His 'job' in the concentration camp is to dress up as a clown and lead Jewish children into the showers...the French apparently all copies of this movie destroyed.
2) 'The Day The Clown Cried'(I think that was the title) A clown gets raped by a bunch of red necks...gets over it...gets a big time show...and gets raped by the same red necks again.
Ok I don't know about dumb...but definitly horrifing. It is strange conmversation but having a conversation with a Film Student and topic of clowns come up result in me knowing about the above. Can anybody confirm these exist?
The Day the Clown Cried is the unfinished Jerry Lewis movie. Not quite the same synopsis as you gave ...
** spoiler omitted **...
Thanks...as I said it was hearsay and a while ago.
I just discovered that there was a remake of Red Dawn. Apparently in this "updated" version the U.S. is invaded by...North Korea. Really? Really?! At least the original, cheesy as it was, had the U.S. invaded by the Soviets, another superpower. Would it have been too much to ask that they use China, which would at least have been more realistic? Sheesh...
I just discovered that there was a remake of Red Dawn. Apparently in this "updated" version the U.S. is invaded by...North Korea. Really? Really?! At least the original, cheesy as it was, had the U.S. invaded by the Soviets, another superpower. Would it have been too much to ask that they use China, which would at least have been more realistic? Sheesh...
If I could be a bit pedantic, in Red Dawn the United States was invaded by a Coalition of the Willing. The Soviet Union, presumably their Warsaw Pact allies, Cuba and Nicaragua waged war against an American-Chinese axis.
I just discovered that there was a remake of Red Dawn. Apparently in this "updated" version the U.S. is invaded by...North Korea. Really? Really?! At least the original, cheesy as it was, had the U.S. invaded by the Soviets, another superpower. Would it have been too much to ask that they use China, which would at least have been more realistic? Sheesh...If I could be a bit pedantic, in Red Dawn the United States was invaded by a Coalition of the Willing. The Soviet Union, presumably their Warsaw Pact allies, Cuba and Nicaragua waged war against an American-Chinese axis.
Well, yes, but the Soviets were the bulk of the military presence, both in the plot and the actual movie. My point being that China would be a more plausible military threat in the current day and age.
Well, yes, but the Soviets were the bulk of the military presence, both in the plot and the actual movie. My point being that China would be a more plausible military threat in the current day and age.I just discovered that there was a remake of Red Dawn. Apparently in this "updated" version the U.S. is invaded by...North Korea. Really? Really?! At least the original, cheesy as it was, had the U.S. invaded by the Soviets, another superpower. Would it have been too much to ask that they use China, which would at least have been more realistic? Sheesh...If I could be a bit pedantic, in Red Dawn the United States was invaded by a Coalition of the Willing. The Soviet Union, presumably their Warsaw Pact allies, Cuba and Nicaragua waged war against an American-Chinese axis.
I was thinking "sequel" where you wrote "remake," but mostly I just wanted to refer to the Soviet alliance in that movie as a Coalition of the Willing.
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. It set the standard for me to never watch any other theatrical or direct to video movie starring him.
Avengers (You know... Giant Teddy Bears!?!)
Cabin Fever (I actually was drained 1 INT point by watching this)
Brüno (ugh... Kill me now)All pretty weak stuff.
Ultradan
*LMAO*
Avengers was faithful to the 60s TV show ... and I completely agree that it should have stayed 40+ years in the past.
Bruno ... so there I was with a bunch of my officers sitting around after duty hours surfing the channels for something when suddenly we stop on Bruno ... just before the dancing p*n*s scene. **UGH**
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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Men Who Stare at Goats
Life Aquatic
Lost in Translation (very bad, despite Scarlet Johanssen's...contributions)
big ol' +1 to Highlander 2
Fifth Element
Then there are movies that I am a little bit ashamed to say that I love. Johnny Mnemonic, Starship Troopers. Admittedly, they aren't great cinema... but I love them anyways.
Punch Drunk Love (Adam Sandler)
Men Who Stare At Goats
Doom (worst video game movie ever)
The Other Guys (will Ferrell) - most recent "I want those 40 minutes back" movie. My gf likes Ferrell's movies, I'm not a fan. This one even had her saying "this is too painful to watch".
And a slasher movie with Twisted Sister's Dee Snider (can't recall the name)
To all the naysayers of the SyFy Saturday night cheesy B movies like Carnosaur.....
"you're doing it wrong" ;)
I Love these no matter how bad they are. They are just Alot of fun to watch. "Frankenfish" is still my favorite. ;)
All of the "Fast" movies
All of the "Saw" movies
All of the "Scream" movies
The avengers
Bruno
The league of extraordinary gentlemen
Any X-men movie after number 2
Transformers 2
The Green hornet
Anything "star wars" after the original trilogy
Cloverfield. Definitely Cloverfield. Even the name is stupendously dumb.
Anything by Michael Bay. Period.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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I just discovered that there was a remake of Red Dawn. Apparently in this "updated" version the U.S. is invaded by...North Korea. Really? Really?! At least the original, cheesy as it was, had the U.S. invaded by the Soviets, another superpower. Would it have been too much to ask that they use China, which would at least have been more realistic? Sheesh...
It's my understanding that they changed the 'bad guys' to be able to market the movie in China (insert irony here).
Besides
What follows is my opinion only. YMMV of course.
The first Transformers film was a horrible joyless mess of a movie. It was as if someone said "insert 2 hours of orange and blue movie here" and went off to some Hollywood party to have a better time than he deserved.
It has no originality, no likeability and no soul. Instead of characterisation and plot you just get explosions. Shia Lewhatshisname is the least likable actor I have ever seen on screen. An annoying, gormless waste of carbon who is proof positive that it takes no talent to get anywhere in Hollywood. Foxy McFox is pretty but vacuous. Note to Hollywood! Having a very impressive rear is no excuse for a total absence of any form of characterisation! The rest of the characters are equally dumb being either cookie cutter inserts or obvious (and often offensive) stereotypes. Oh and the cinematography was embarrasingly cliched, the fights were pointless and hard to follow and the plot was laughable.
Watching either Transformers movie is the equivalent of someone slapping you round the face repeatedly with a 10lb fish covered in orange and blue paint whilst a homeless guy on crack screams in your ear and a corporate executive lights a cigar with £10 he's stolen from your wallet whilst laughing at your stupidity for inflicting this on yourself.
Experimental bowel surgery would have been preferable to this garbage. At least that doesn't last two hours.
I truly dispair of the average cinemagoer when Transformers makes half a billion dollars and the infinately superior Scott Pilgrim vs The World can't make its money back.
The average cinema goer deserves a punch in the face.
+1,000,000. Or more. Lots more.
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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+1,000,000. Or more. Lots more.What follows is my opinion only. YMMV of course.
The first Transformers film was a horrible joyless mess of a movie. It was as if someone said "insert 2 hours of orange and blue movie here" and went off to some Hollywood party to have a better time than he deserved.
It has no originality, no likeability and no soul. Instead of characterisation and plot you just get explosions. Shia Lewhatshisname is the least likable actor I have ever seen on screen. An annoying, gormless waste of carbon who is proof positive that it takes no talent to get anywhere in Hollywood. Foxy McFox is pretty but vacuous. Note to Hollywood! Having a very impressive rear is no excuse for a total absence of any form of characterisation! The rest of the characters are equally dumb being either cookie cutter inserts or obvious (and often offensive) stereotypes. Oh and the cinematography was embarrasingly cliched, the fights were pointless and hard to follow and the plot was laughable.
Watching either Transformers movie is the equivalent of someone slapping you round the face repeatedly with a 10lb fish covered in orange and blue paint whilst a homeless guy on crack screams in your ear and a corporate executive lights a cigar with £10 he's stolen from your wallet whilst laughing at your stupidity for inflicting this on yourself.
Experimental bowel surgery would have been preferable to this garbage. At least that doesn't last two hours.
I truly dispair of the average cinemagoer when Transformers makes half a billion dollars and the infinately superior Scott Pilgrim vs The World can't make its money back.
The average cinema goer deserves a punch in the face.
It may be geek heresy, but I couldn't stay awake through Transformers. I thought it was pretty insipid.
But, but, it had giant robots trying not to step on the flowers in his mom's garden... that was... so funny...
But seriously, don't accuse Megan Fox of not having form. =)
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I halfway want to start a fundraiser to buy Michael Bay a damn steady-cam.
For someone that makes so many action movies, the man can't shoot an action scene to save his life.
edit-I'd also like to see him make a movie without a racial stereotype in it.
edit2-I'd also love to see the excuse "He makes movies for people that enjoy movies" burn in all the hells. Not liking his body of work does not make one a "cinema snob".
edit3-@#$%ING MICHAEL BAY MAKING ME MAD
All of Michael Bay's movies are almost worth it as a set up for the "Pearl Harbor Sucked, and I Miss You" song from the Team America, World Police movie.
Somehow the movie Snow Patrol sucked beyond belief... Who could have predicted that?
Anything by Tony Scott or Michael Bay
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I agree Mikaze all those stupid stuff/torture films
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Bridging the gap between bad movies and good movies...
I recently found out that Elwood the Dwarf and Pintel the Pirate are played by the same actor. Looks like someone's career survived the Dungeons and Dragons movie after all.
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Men Who Stare at Goats
Life Aquatic
Lost in Translation (very bad, despite Scarlet Johanssen's...contributions)
big ol' +1 to Highlander 2
Fifth ElementThen there are movies that I am a little bit ashamed to say that I love. Johnny Mnemonic, Starship Troopers. Admittedly, they aren't great cinema... but I love them anyways.
How interesting. I love Fifth Element. One of the funnest movies I've ever seen (to this date). Great soundtrack too. But Starship Troopers only had a few redeemable qualities for me. :(
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I agree Mikaze all those stupid stuff/torture films
I can understand the appeal of movies that SCARE you.
I cannot understand the appeal of movies that gross you out or make you want to hurl. Revolting =/= scary.
I agree Mikaze all those stupid stuff/torture filmsI can understand the appeal of movies that SCARE you.
I cannot understand the appeal of movies that gross you out or make you want to hurl. Revolting =/= scary.
I love em. To each their own.
Not seen it, and not planning to, but based on the reviews of people who have, Sean Banan i Afrika would appear to be a contender.
Reine och Mimmi i fjällen? =)
Har lyckats unvika den.
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I can understand the appeal of movies that SCARE you.
I cannot understand the appeal of movies that gross you out or make you want to hurl. Revolting =/= scary.
I have the same reaction to shows like 'Fear Factor' that are all about making people eat gross things or do embarassing things. That's not scary, it's just gross and humiliating.
Still, if some people like watching other people drink donkey pee, good for them.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I love em. To each their own.I agree Mikaze all those stupid stuff/torture filmsI can understand the appeal of movies that SCARE you.
I cannot understand the appeal of movies that gross you out or make you want to hurl. Revolting =/= scary.
It's a true fact. I just know I'll have other things to do if a friend suggests an outing to catch the Midnight Meat Train! :)
Tangled. By far the worst P.O.S I've ever seen in my entire life. I've seen the original D&D movie, All the Scary Movie clones, and none of them come close to that level of suck. There was a guy that owned a Comic store in my town that would chase out people that loitered during MtG games with that movie. It made hardcore MtG plays drop their cards and flee.
No >.> The 2010 one. *Shudders* That movie would probably be considered psychological torture in some countries.
Might I throw Wayne's World 2 into the mix?
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+1 to "Nothing but trouble" the musical number alone is enough for me to wretch. It desperately deserves to be Rifftrakked.
+1 to Battlefield Earth. Here's a handy tip, when the entire exposure of the movie is "Hey check this out, THIS is the bad guy, its an actor known for playing good guys, but HE'S THE BAD GUY, this time." then the movie sucks. Looking at you Reindeer Games.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Out of Character Optimus Prime! of all the unholy things...
and of course "Freddy got Fingered" - Tom Green, nuff said.
I liked Tangled. Then again, I am not a hardcore MtG player... :-)
