The club stole our help? Who gets our drinks now?Where's that Acme-Robot? Thanks to Llamafrog, we have a diaper mess that needs cleaning...He's got a new gig as a bartender at Club Calistria. Lucky LJ's got those invisi-cleaners ..
Cracks an early-morning eye opener
Reggie, PJ's servant, does I think.
Reggie continues filling drink orders in the background, even though a broken jaw in one of the recent battles means that he's all wired up and isn't talking. Serves Jacks drinks.
Warforged toils behind the flaps to his Forge. This hammer will be the best he has made since... No, he would not let bad memories interfere with his craft. Outside, the energies he summons cause the sigils on this place to flare and flicker quickly. Too those outside it would seem to be a group of fireflies. Long have the Celestials warded these mobile war factories. The wards placed by the stranger don't hurt either. Behind these walls he is safe to experiment, and those outside will be safe if he messes up.
As an added protection he seals the opening.
A strange looking woman walks up the workshop. Hello, inside the tent.
Chuckling can be heard, though from where nobody knows.
A strange looking woman walks up the workshop.[/i] Hello, inside the tent.We really should get the front door fixed, people just walk in here without knocking!
I have not entered your clubhouse. I was simply enjoying the grounds.
EDIT: The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
EDIT: The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
I have ways of protecting myself.
I have ways of protecting myself.
The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
"You will depart immediately. You have previously been warned, and will not be warned again should you continue this behavior. You will get yourself out of here."
EDIT: The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
Your Audrey Two impression does not impress me very much. Especially when I have my atomic powered weedeater.
"You will depart immediately. You have previously been warned, and will not be warned again should you continue this behavior. You will get yourself out of here."I have ways of protecting myself.
The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
"Step off Jack," the woman says as she draws a strange weapon. "I do not wish to hurt you. Your death would not serve my cause at all."
EDIT: The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
"Step off Jack," the woman says as she draws a strange weapon. "I do not wish to hurt you. Your death would not serve my cause at all.""You will depart immediately. You have previously been warned, and will not be warned again should you continue this behavior. You will get yourself out of here."I have ways of protecting myself.
The grounds...heh, heh. Like that's a safe place.
Plantjack glares.
"You had better leave, or I shall be forced to drastic measures. I am very hungry, you see."
"You would find me a very unwholesome snack," the woman said. Using the weapon in her hand, she pricks her finger and a few drops of blood fall to the ground. The spot where the blood fell immediately begins to sizzle and smoke as the acid contained within melts away the top layer of earth.
A strange looking woman walks up the workshop. Hello, inside the tent.Warforged toils behind the flaps to his Forge. This hammer will be the best he has made since... No, he would not let bad memories interfere with his craft. Outside, the energies he summons cause the sigils on this place to flare and flicker quickly. Too those outside it would seem to be a group of fireflies. Long have the Celestials warded these mobile war factories. The wards placed by the stranger don't hurt either. Behind these walls he is safe to experiment, and those outside will be safe if he messes up.
As an added protection he seals the opening.
WJ is oblivious to the supplicant. The sealed 'flaps' of the tent actually closing off this pocket dimension. He concentrates on his creation.
It will have the head of a lion, transition into the feathers of an eagle, whose head will adorn the other side. The handle shall be made with Sky Metal in the shape of gathered wheat stalks. Leo Terra et Caelum, Lion of Earth and Sky. Its magics will be strong.
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Parsley-Potato Topped Oven Swiss Steak
Ingredients:
SWISS STEAK
• 1 1/2 pounds boneless beef round steak, (1/2-inch thick), cut into 6 pieces
• 2 carrots, sliced (1 cup)
• 1 large onion, halved, thinly sliced
• 1 (12 oz.) jar home-style beef gravy
• 1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
•
TOPPING
• 1 1/2 cups water
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 1/4 cups Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 3/4 cup milk
• 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
• 1 large egg, beaten
• Paprika
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 325°F. Arrange beef in ungreased 12x8-inch (2-quart) baking dish. Top with carrots and onion.
2. COMBINE gravy, tomatoes, 1/4 teaspoon thyme and pepper in medium bowl. Mix well. Spoon over beef and vegetables. Cover with foil. Bake 2 hours.
3. BRING water and butter to a boil in medium saucepan. Remove from heat. Stir in potato flakes, milk, parsley, salt and 1/4 teaspoon thyme. Add egg. Mix well.
4. UNCOVER baking dish. Spoon or pipe potato mixture over hot steak mixture. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake uncovered 30 to 35 minutes more or until potatoes are set and light golden brown.
Yield: 6 servings
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 2 hrs 30 min
Parsley-Potato Topped Oven Swiss Steak
*puts cold nose on HJ's Leg* *sits up begging for steak with his sad puppy-dog eyes* YAP! YAP!
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I'm sorry, my upbringing taught me that dogs shouldn't be given people food.
But not to worry!!!!! Even as I type, Hungry Jack® scientists are sequestered in a secret laboratory, hard at work on our very own Hungry Jack® Brand Dog Food.
Of course, it might take a while to bring our product to market...we seem to keep running out of taste test volunteers. I don't suppose any of you poodles would care to give us a hand......
I'm sorry, my upbringing taught me that dogs shouldn't be given people food.
But not to worry!!!!! Even as I type, Hungry Jack® scientists are sequestered in a secret laboratory, hard at work on our very own Hungry Jack® Brand Dog Food.
Of course, it might take a while to bring our product to market...we seem to keep running out of taste test volunteers. I don't suppose any of you poodles would care to give us a hand......
*wags tail excitedly* We'll help! We'll help! YAP!
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*wags tail excitedly* We'll help! We'll help! YAP!I'm sorry, my upbringing taught me that dogs shouldn't be given people food.
But not to worry!!!!! Even as I type, Hungry Jack® scientists are sequestered in a secret laboratory, hard at work on our very own Hungry Jack® Brand Dog Food.
Of course, it might take a while to bring our product to market...we seem to keep running out of taste test volunteers. I don't suppose any of you poodles would care to give us a hand......
Fine, that's great! Just come this way to our tasting facility. Please ignore those graves off to the side. Those poor dogs...um...got out into traffic! Yeah! That's it, traffic.....
"Yeah, that's what I thought," says the tiefling as she walks past the monsterous plant on her way to the vollyball courts.
Fine, that's great! Just come this way to our tasting facility. Please ignore those graves off to the side. Those poor dogs...um...got out into traffic! Yeah! That's it, traffic.....*wags tail excitedly* We'll help! We'll help! YAP!I'm sorry, my upbringing taught me that dogs shouldn't be given people food.
But not to worry!!!!! Even as I type, Hungry Jack® scientists are sequestered in a secret laboratory, hard at work on our very own Hungry Jack® Brand Dog Food.
Of course, it might take a while to bring our product to market...we seem to keep running out of taste test volunteers. I don't suppose any of you poodles would care to give us a hand......
*whines* Hmmm, I think I've changed my mind. *runs off grumbling under his breath*
Taste test..... I forsee .... a Stomach ache magnitude 25
Hey Reggie! Where's Panama? Haven't seen him in a while... You know these "magic cooler" versions of a dark and stormy is just not the same. I don't suppose you could show me how that's done, could you?
Taste test..... I forsee .... a Stomach ache magnitude 25
You know what get's rid of stomach problems? Cayenne Pepper.. no lie.
Take apart a tylenol caplet or something similar, and put cayenne pepper in it. Down the hatch, and wait. After one explosive trip to the bathroom, you should be all clear! :)
That is truly disturbing...You know what get's rid of stomach problems? Cayenne Pepper.. no lie.
Take apart a tylenol caplet or something similar, and put cayenne pepper in it. Down the hatch, and wait. After one explosive trip to the bathroom, you should be all clear! :)
I get this vision of sea gulls eating Alka Seltzer and exploding...
That is truly disturbing...You know what get's rid of stomach problems? Cayenne Pepper.. no lie.
Take apart a tylenol caplet or something similar, and put cayenne pepper in it. Down the hatch, and wait. After one explosive trip to the bathroom, you should be all clear! :)
Sorry for that...
Sorry for that...That is truly disturbing...You know what get's rid of stomach problems? Cayenne Pepper.. no lie.
Take apart a tylenol caplet or something similar, and put cayenne pepper in it. Down the hatch, and wait. After one explosive trip to the bathroom, you should be all clear! :)
That's ok. Being a Jack means saying and doing disturbing things!
So, no one knows the origin of over ever-handsome avatar picture?!?! anyone....please?...
Hmm. I must alert KC.
Plantjack departs.
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Hot German Potatoes
Ingredients:
• 1/2 pound bacon, cut into 1 inch pieces
• 1 (4.9 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes
• 1 cup sauerkraut, rinsed and drained
• 1 (2 oz.) jar diced pimientos, drained
• 2 cups water
• 2/3 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon vinegar
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seed
• 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoons pepper
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 425°F. Cook bacon in medium skillet over medium heat until crisp. Drain. Reserve 2 tablespoons bacon drippings.
2. PLACE potato slices, cooked bacon, sauerkraut and pimientos in ungreased 2 to 2 1/2-quart casserole dish.
3. COMBINE sauce mix, water, milk, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, celery seed, pepper and reserved bacon drippings in 2-quart saucepan. Bring just to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and pour sauce over potato mixture in casserole dish. Stir gently to blend ingredients.
4. BAKE 25 to 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Let stand 5 minutes to thicken sauce. Stir before serving.
Yield: 6 Servings
Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 35 min
JH arrives at the Clubhouse, and though enticed by the smell of German Potatoes, he heads to the dwarf's tent. The flaps are closed. He knocks on the tent post. In response a sigil flares and the flaps open.
Warforged Jack? How goes the progress on a new hammer for me?
Welcome Master Hammer! It is done! I hope it pleases you.
The dwarf goes to a small chest and pulls out a wrapped bundle. He unwraps it and hands it to JH. It is a hammer fit for a king. Its adamantium head is adorned with a sculpted head of a roaring lion on one side, and a screeching eagles head on the other. The detail is beyond description. The lion's eyes are green emeralds, while the eagle's black onyx. The mane and feathers flow into each other.
The handle is made of sky metal, in the shape of bundled rods, terminating in a lion's paw with a single claw extended for a spike.
I call it Leo Terra et Caelum
He is pleased by the look of wonder on JH's face.
This is beautiful. Too beautiful for one such as me. A simple block of metal on a steel handle would have been fine.
Though he speaks of denial, JH's eyes can't be moved from the weapon. It feel alive in his hands. He can hear the lion roaring and the eagle calling to the sky. He realizes that he feels more alive with this weapon in his hands.
The dwarf first looks insulted, then amused.
You can try to deny it, but you are destined to wield this weapon. Humph! Calling him a weapon is an insult. Just as calling you a weapon would be.
You have had the mantle of battle thrown upon you, young sir. It is fitting that you have aid.
Now, if you are done arguing with yourself we need to finish it.
What do mean finish? This looks finished. More than done. In fact I'd be afraid of damaging 'him' in battle.
The dwarf chuckles at the comment and leads JH to a stone urn. He lifts the top and there is a glowing liquid within. It lightens the room with its energy. The dwarf gestures that JH should place the hammer within the urn.
Do I drop it in?
The dwarf shakes his head and tells JH that he must hold it. The cool liquid touches JH's hand and forearm as he lowers the weapon, fully immmersing it as the dwarf nods in encouragement. As he does as instructed the dwarf begins to chant.
The vines on JH flare to life. They glow as white as the liquid. After a small eternity the light fades and JH removes the hammer. For one brief moment the lion and eagle animate, roaring and screeching in unison.
'Thank you' doesn't seem enough.
It is enough for one such as me.
Now, we can tap that cask you brought me. And maybe a few others. I'm as dry as a tree in a desert.
What do mean finish? This looks finished. More than done. In fact I'd be afraid of damaging in battle.
The dwarf chuckles at the comment and leads JH to a stone urn. He lifts the top and there is a glowing liquid within. It lightens the room with its energy. The dwarf gestures that JH should place the hammer within the urn.
Do I drop it in?
The dwarf shakes his head and tells JH that he must hold it. The cool liquid touches JH's hand and forearm as he lowers the weapon, fully immmersing it as the dwarf nods in encouragement. As he does as instructed the dwarf begins to chant.
The vines on JH flare to life. They glow as white as the liquid. After a small eternity the light fades and JH removes the hammer. For one brief moment the lion and eagle animate, roaring and screeching in unison.
'Thank you' doesn't seem enough.
*looks at JH's new hammer* Our new dwarf friend has done well. Between your new hammer and my new and improved vorpal sword, Candle Lighter won't have a chance. BTW, do you think Candle Lighter's head would look better mounted in the front room or the den?
Suddenly, a raven flies in.
"Candle Lighter wishes to say that he thinks your own heads would go well in the den, with the ape's head in the front room, and maybe a very temperamental salad while he works."
Pffff!
I don't know. I'm torn between placing it in the Tarrasque's mouth, building a carousel in the yard for all of the heads, or setting up one of those carnival stands where you throw a ball into it. Wait, that won't work. The mouth's too big.
We could always use the heads as tops for garbage cans. Then use that silly squab in the pitching game.
Pffff!
I don't know. I'm torn between placing it in the Tarrasque's mouth, building a carousel in the yard for all of the heads, or setting up one of those carnival stands where you throw a ball into it. Wait, that won't work. The mouth's too big.
We could always use the heads as tops for garbage cans. Then use that silly squab in the pitching game.
Those ideas might work. Needless to say, we'll eat well for awhile. I'm sure Hungry Jack has a ton of recipes for dragons.