The Angry Jack Cult


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Angel of Violence wrote:
Shoots another crossbow bolt at the slowed Jacks Guess what. As the Angel of Violence, I have an inate immunity to Slow spells. Bolt releases a strange green cloud Gas of Dispel Magic. It's great for these situations.

No fair! Me no prepared for that!

Sovereign Court

Llamafrog wrote:

*walks in walking pompously with a diaper on the mouth and goes stright into the livingrooms main sofa, lays down on it and starts chewing on the baby's bomb and shaking it vigorously, splashing the whole place with what appears to be baby Jack's byproduct*

Nomnomnom...

Rassum frassum poodles!

*PUNT*
Oops, he crashed through the thieves guild roof...


Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:

Plantjack glares at the intruder.

You will leave the poodle alone, and you will state your business here. Then you will depart, and learn not to invade the club and molest the poodles. That is Malice Jack's job.

I'm here looking for the goddes Lynora. I also brought a little something for you, my leafy friend. tosses the monsterous plant a side of pork.


The Assassin wrote:
Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:

Plantjack glares at the intruder.

You will leave the poodle alone, and you will state your business here. Then you will depart, and learn not to invade the club and molest the poodles. That is Malice Jack's job.
I'm here looking for the goddes Lynora. I also brought a little something for you, my leafy friend. tosses the monsterous plant a side of pork.

"She is not being here. You should be looking elsewhere.

"And I am not hungry at this moment."


Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:
The Assassin wrote:
Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:

Plantjack glares at the intruder.

You will leave the poodle alone, and you will state your business here. Then you will depart, and learn not to invade the club and molest the poodles. That is Malice Jack's job.
I'm here looking for the goddes Lynora. I also brought a little something for you, my leafy friend. tosses the monsterous plant a side of pork.

"She is not being here. You should be looking elsewhere.

"And I am not hungry at this moment."

That's too bad, it's Tokyo X. Very rare and very delicious.


The Assassin wrote:
Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:
The Assassin wrote:
Very Tempermental PlantJack wrote:

Plantjack glares at the intruder.

You will leave the poodle alone, and you will state your business here. Then you will depart, and learn not to invade the club and molest the poodles. That is Malice Jack's job.
I'm here looking for the goddes Lynora. I also brought a little something for you, my leafy friend. tosses the monsterous plant a side of pork.

"She is not being here. You should be looking elsewhere.

"And I am not hungry at this moment."
That's too bad, it's Tokyo X. Very rare and very delicious.

"I do not eat pork. You should depart. I do not significantly trust you."


As well you shouldn't. However, I will leave the pork for you just in case you get hungery later.


Hey, where's Lynora at? This cooler is frikin broke.. it keeps giving me Strohs for some reason. No matter what I try to get, it gives me Strohs..


Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.
I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.


Malice drags himself up to his room. It looks like he has had a rough night. He puts his 'Do not disturb' sign up and shuts the door. A minute later duelling buzzsaws echo from the closed door.


LJ flops down in a deck chair and falls asleep.


lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.

What do you mean? How did I abuse it?


Callous Jack wrote:


Rassum frassum poodles!
*PUNT*
Oops, he crashed through the thieves guild roof...

Yipes!

*as the poodles flies away the diaper falls from his mouth spreading "love" all around the jack's house and a bit on the driveway right over Callous Jack mustang convertible*


Callous Jack wrote:

Rassum frassum poodles!
*PUNT*

*Raises both arms*

Score!

Boss, you sound like that walking stick on the homo-halflings mocie... that that attracted lots of geeks, Lord of the something I believe... Alright, my brain hurts you to think of such epic geekness, now switching back to beer'n'broads!


Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.
What do you mean? How did I abuse it?

Used it to fill the fridge..she mutters sleepily


lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.
What do you mean? How did I abuse it?
Used it to fill the fridge..she mutters sleepily

No.. That beer's from work.. I actually didn't use the cooler at all. :P


Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.
What do you mean? How did I abuse it?
Used it to fill the fridge..she mutters sleepily
No.. That beer's from work.. I actually didn't use the cooler at all. :P

Maybe the cooler is reading your subconscious then, and you really want Strohs?


Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.
What do you mean? How did I abuse it?
Used it to fill the fridge..she mutters sleepily
No.. That beer's from work.. I actually didn't use the cooler at all. :P

Tell it to Sunny G. 's his relic. Deities can usually tell when you're lying though...


The sweaty dwarf bumbles out of the Forge and hollers Master Malice! I have completed your commission.

I call it Bore-Axe. Good for cleaning up your enemies. *laughs at his own bad joke* But you can rename it as you see fit. It has a 20-round magazine. I've made an ample supply of armor piercing rounds, 25 Brilliant Energy rounds, and several magazines you might find interesting. On command each will imbue the rounds within with elemental energy; fire, cold, electricity, or acid. The axe head is adamantium and Holy...

Seeing LJ sunbathing the dwarf stops in mid sentence and scurries back into his tent with an even more flushed face.


lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill wanders in after a night of intense dancing. She yawns and stretches. Time for a nap in the sun. Seeing SCJack's problem she smiles.

I told you not to abuse the holy relic. A day of service in the Solar Temple should be sufficient. After that the cooler will work for you again.
What do you mean? How did I abuse it?
Used it to fill the fridge..she mutters sleepily
No.. That beer's from work.. I actually didn't use the cooler at all. :P
Tell it to Sunny G. 's his relic. Deities can usually tell when you're lying though...

Apparently not. I do work at a beverage store. And here's my receipt. Fumbles around for his wallet and pulls out a receipt for $153.47 worth of beer. See, 8 cases of beer. Didn't you see the truck out front? It may be small, but you can't miss it. It's purple, with orange and green flames... Had cases of beer in the back. It's because I'm a convert from worshiping Sebastian, isn't it... It has nothing to do with the beer at all, does it?

mumbles something as he sulks away with his 7 cans of strohs..

Liberty's Edge

Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Sovereign Court

Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Or Milwaukee's Best!

Dark Archive

Or Old Milwaukee.


Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Perhaps.. i dunno..

Maybe i should just go back to worshiping Sebastian..

Dark Archive

Hey, did someone see Spuds MacKenzie just run through here?


Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Perhaps.. i dunno..

Maybe i should just go back to worshiping Sebastian..

Just ask one of the other Jacks to get your drinks out for you, silly.

She snaps her fingers. Go get SC Jack a Dark and Stormy, please and thank you. The unseen servants rushes off in a whirl of air and rushes back with a dark and stormy for SC Jack.

Silver Crusade

Labradoodle wrote:
Hey, did someone see Spuds MacKenzie just run through here?

I guess we should have a barbecue.


lynora-Jill wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Perhaps.. i dunno..

Maybe i should just go back to worshiping Sebastian..

Just ask one of the other Jacks to get your drinks out for you, silly.

She snaps her fingers. Go get SC Jack a Dark and Stormy, please and thank you. The unseen servants rushes off in a whirl of air and rushes back with a dark and stormy for SC Jack.

Ah! Thanks! I love these things...

drinks the dark and stormy


Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Or Blatz. Or even No Brand.

Ahh, the good old days when money was scarce and you had to drink that stuff. Err...cancel the good old days part.


"Hello Jack" say a sultry woman dressed in a white fur robe to JH. "You're looking quite dashing today. Can I get you anything." She walks up and begins running her finger down his chest.

Sovereign Court

Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Perhaps.. i dunno..

Maybe i should just go back to worshiping Sebastian..

Psh, since when did that San Francisco hippie do anything for you?


Plantjack looks concerned, and hurries off to find KC.


Hey guys, does anybody know from where did our fabulous "face" came from? I'm looking for the full image but haven't got any luck yet... does anyone knows its source?


Frat Jack wrote:
Hey guys, does anybody know from where did our fabulous "face" came from? I'm looking for the full image but haven't got any luck yet... does anyone knows its source?

Something about 'visiting Viktor'.


Callous Jack wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Hey, at least it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon or Billy Beer.

Perhaps.. i dunno..

Maybe i should just go back to worshiping Sebastian..

Psh, since when did that San Francisco hippie do anything for you?

It all started when I discovered several ponies following me...

That's an interesting question.. You'd have to ask him, as I'm enjoying my fifth dark and stormy at the moment..

Edit: These are excellent by the way.


The Seductress wrote:

"Hello Jack" say a sultry woman dressed in a white fur robe to JH. "You're looking quite dashing today. Can I get you anything." She walks up and begins ru

Err...ahh...nothing, thx. Who are you?


Lynora-Jill wakes up. She stretches. She sees the strange woman hanging all over JH and glares at her. She wanted to walk up to him and make it clear to that woman that he was taken. She shook her head. She really needed to get a stonger rein on her jealousy. Either he was hers or he wasn't. Forcing the issue was only going to make them all miserable. She walked inside to shower and change.


LJ comes out dressed in a white leather micro-miniskirt and matching bustier.
Who feels like dancing tonight? I'm heading over to Club Calistria.

Sovereign Court

Where's that Acme-Robot? Thanks to Llamafrog, we have a diaper mess that needs cleaning...


Callous Jack wrote:
Where's that Acme-Robot? Thanks to Llamafrog, we have a diaper mess that needs cleaning...

Oh, I can take care of that.

Snaps her fingers.
Clean up the clubhouse, please and thank you.
The unseen servants whirl through the clubhouse scrubbing and straightening until it shines.


Jack Hammer wrote:
The Seductress wrote:
"Hello Jack" say a sultry woman dressed in a white fur robe to JH. "You're looking quite dashing today. Can I get you anything."
Err...ahh...nothing, thx. Who are you?

"I'm Allura," the woman says. "I was hoping we could be...friends."


lynora-Jill wrote:

LJ comes out dressed in a white leather micro-miniskirt and matching bustier.

Who feels like dancing tonight? I'm heading over to Club Calistria.

'Me!', JH says a little too loudly, and quickly.

Making his aplogies to the newcomer JH beats a hasty retreat. This isn't his type of battle.

Most of us Jacks look the same, strikingly handsome.


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

LJ comes out dressed in a white leather micro-miniskirt and matching bustier.

Who feels like dancing tonight? I'm heading over to Club Calistria.

'Me!', JH says a little too loudly, and quickly.

Making his aplogies to the newcomer JH beats a hasty retreat. This isn't his type of battle.

Most of us Jacks look the same, strikingly handsome.

Wonderful! Lynora-Jill smiles stunningly up at him. You know how much I love to dance with you, among other things.

She takes his arm and heads toward the omniportal.


Warforged toils behind the flaps to his Forge. This hammer will be the best he has made since... No, he would not let bad memories interfere with his craft. Outside, the energies he summons cause the sigils on this place to flare and flicker quickly. Too those outside it would seem to be a group of fireflies. Long have the Celestials warded these mobile war factories. The wards placed by the stranger don't hurt either. Behind these walls he is safe to experiment, and those outside will be safe if he messes up.

As an added protection he seals the opening.


Malice rolls out of his room, scratching a metal cheek.

Man I slept quite a while ... Why does the clubhouse smell like dirty diapers?

Goes to grab a beer out of the fridge


Anyone looking will notice a strange mask hanging on the wall. It was not there before.


The trees outside of the Clubhouse grounds shake, as do the grounds themselves. The treant has come to visit. His face is not calm.

Jacks! Beware! Our enemies have seem to grown faster than dandelions in the summer! Their foulness knows no bounds. Deceit is their armor and trickery is their sword. Like weeds, they seek dominion over the land, choking out all other life.

Sovereign Court

lynora-Jill wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Where's that Acme-Robot? Thanks to Llamafrog, we have a diaper mess that needs cleaning...

Oh, I can take care of that.

Snaps her fingers.
Clean up the clubhouse, please and thank you.
The unseen servants whirl through the clubhouse scrubbing and straightening until it shines.

Thanks LJ!

Take that, Llamapoodle!


If only one could harness the power of the Baby Bomb. There are so many...


Callous Jack wrote:
Where's that Acme-Robot? Thanks to Llamafrog, we have a diaper mess that needs cleaning...

He's got a new gig as a bartender at Club Calistria. Lucky LJ's got those invisi-cleaners ..

Cracks an early-morning eye opener

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