The Angry Jack Cult


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The large suit of armor ripsaws into Malice Jack, opening him like a tin can. It turns to the Masked Rogue

DIE ... THIEF ... THE ... MASTER ... WILLS ... IT

The large animate armor clanks forward, buzzsaw hands at full revolution


A small endtable unfolds into a retro-futuristic looking robot. It sprouts dual mini guns and begins spraying the animate construct with depleted uranium rounds

*BEEP!*

You are an unlawful entrant and must be ejected!

*BEEP!*


I'M ON YOUR BACK, STABBING YOUR NECK! BESIDES, DO YOU EVEN NEED THIS HEAD?


The red eyes of the Steel Tsar blaze. It negligently spins a backhanded blow to Acme and saws him in half. As the bisected robot falls to the floor the construct continues to attempt to dislodge the Masked Rogue

DIE ... DIE ... KILL


The robot fizzes and clanks, its eye lights dimming .

*BEEP*

The robot lies still


The Grey Mouser leaps from hiding and sinks Cat Claw into the contruct.

HAH! Take that clanking clunker!


Malice Jack tries to stick his tubing back in his shattered body cavity

Oh fer Watt's sake ....

He passes out


The Steel Tsar wrote:

The red eyes of the Steel Tsar blaze. It negligently spins a backhanded blow to Acme and saws him in half. As the bisected robot falls to the floor the construct continues to attempt to dislodge the Masked Rogue

DIE ... DIE ... KILL

Die or Kill, which do you want me to do? I can't do both, you know!

*Continues sawing through neck*


*comes up from the basement and is horrified to see what has happened to Malice* *Picks up one of PJ's guns and starts blasting the strange golem.*


*flies in, weaving and dodging to avoid the combatants. lands next to Malice Jack*

*casts repair serious wounds.*


The construct's neck metal seems to flow back together as fast as the Masked Rogue can sever it. It seems to have immense power in this thread.

YOU ... WILL ... DIE ... THIEF

The bullet from PJ's elephant hunting .501 Nitro Express shotgun blows a huge hole in the construct ......

...which flows together rapidly

The construct laughs, a sound like rusty nails on slate

MY ... POWER ... COMES ... FROM ... YOU ... I ... AM ... YOUR ... NEMESIS

The small cannon that pokes from the Steel Tsar's stomach sprays blinding flame all through the Jack's living room. The entire room catches fire


MJ's wounds flow back together. He looks up at the winged form of Lynora-Jill.

Hi Lyn!

He faints


As the room catches fire, the priestess unconsciously throws up a ward. Winds swirl around her, holding the flames and debris at bay.

basically it's a resilient sphere made out of wind


lynora-Jill wrote:

*flies in, weaving and dodging to avoid the combatants. lands next to Malice Jack*

*casts repair serious wounds.*

*Continues blasting the creature* Lynora, is there anyway you can teleport it out of the clubhouse? It draws its strength from our place!

Edit Take it to the Roleplaying game thread where it will be depowered!


The flames swirl around Lynora-Jill and the recumbent form of Malice Jack. The priestess can see the wreckage of Acme Robot nearby. The hulking armored creature battles on with the two rogues trying their best to bring him down. JRHM keeps blasting with the elephant gun, knocking holes in the thing left and right. The room is awash in flame.


Well, at this rate we'll be fine because he's burnt the thread down! I'll try to lead him back to the Guildhouse! Cover me!

*Leaps off of Czar's back, trying to lead him back to Crimson Crime while dodging its blows*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

*flies in, weaving and dodging to avoid the combatants. lands next to Malice Jack*

*casts repair serious wounds.*

*Continues blasting the creature* Lynora, is there anyway you can teleport it out of the clubhouse? It draws its strength from our place!

I can try!

She refocuses the power from her wards into a very big Gust of Wind, and throws it at the creature with all the force she has.


The smell of smoke reaches the ape's nostril in his leafy nest.
WOO-HOO!
He swings quickly to defend the Jackhouse.
Entering it, he is enraged by the scene that greets him, and he seizes the demonic metal thing, trebling in size and more than that in strength, he hurls it out the big, front bay window that he smashed so many times before, utilizing both his own strength and the force of the winds that lynora-Jill has channeled in that direction.

ROAR!


That works too.

*Jumps out window onto Czar, knives-first*


The large construct is hurled away by the combined strength of Jackin' Ape and Lynora's gust of wind. Its black form tumbles through the sky dwindling to a speck.

Sure you wanna ride that pony MR?


Seeing that Jackin' Ape has thrown the robot out the window, the priestess redirects her wind spell to put out the flames inside the clubhouse. She then casts a second repair serious wounds on Malice Jack.


The winds quickly blow out the flames, leaving a smoking, but unburning room. Malice recovers further with the additional healing

Oh crap. What the heck was that?


... wrote:

The large construct is hurled away by the combined strength of Jackin' Ape and Lynora's gust of wind. Its black form tumbles through the sky dwindling to a speck.

Sure you wanna ride that pony MR?

*Before leaping at it, realizes how far it's getting and stops*

Aw, now how am I going to get the Czar's head?


Malice Jack wrote:

The winds quickly blow out the flames, leaving a smoking, but unburning room. Malice recovers further with the additional healing

Oh crap. What the heck was that?

I don't know. I went to the Place of the Winds to thank them for helping me relearn how to fly earlier, and Brwaaaktor told me that the Champion of Flame was attacking the clubhouse, so I flew straight over. I'm glad I did. Whatever that was, it was doing some serious damage.


Shakes a few embers from his cloak

No fear my masked friend. By all that is holy I will assist you in mounting that thing's head on our guildhall's mantle. This I swear.


lynora-Jill wrote:
Malice Jack wrote:

The winds quickly blow out the flames, leaving a smoking, but unburning room. Malice recovers further with the additional healing

Oh crap. What the heck was that?

I don't know. I went to the Place of the Winds to thank them for helping me relearn how to fly earlier, and Brwaaaktor told me that the Champion of Flame was attacking the clubhouse, so I flew straight over. I'm glad I did. Whatever that was, it was doing some serious damage.

I'm going to destroy it. Is everybody with me? *takes PJ's elephant gun with him*


Looks over at the ruined form of Acme

Aww ..It broke Acme too! That fncker ...

Groans

I need a drink. ACME!

pauses

oh


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:


I'm going to destroy it. Is everybody with me? *takes PJ's elephant gun with him*

You can count on my steel!


Didn't you hear? It runs on pure elemental Jack. It's as strong as all of you combined. You're going to need help, and soon prior commitments will mean I won't be here to take it's head. Besides, it works for a dracolich. For now, prepare for the upcoming battle.


I agree that it needs to be destroyed, but I don't think that elephant gun is going to do it. We need a better weapon.

*Walks over to Acme, sets the halves of him back together, and casts repair critical wounds.*


Acme's sections fuse back together. His eyes light up

*BEEP*

Thank you Lynora-Jill!

*BEEP*

Would you like a Margarita?


lynora-Jill wrote:

I agree that it needs to be destroyed, but I don't think that elephant gun is going to do it. We need a better weapon.

*Walks over to Acme, sets the halves of him back together, and casts repair critical wounds.*

Perhaps you're right. What should we do? What kind of weapon can kill this thing?


Right now I think Malice Jack needs a drink more than I do. But thank you for offering, Acme.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

I agree that it needs to be destroyed, but I don't think that elephant gun is going to do it. We need a better weapon.

*Walks over to Acme, sets the halves of him back together, and casts repair critical wounds.*

Perhaps you're right. What should we do? What kind of weapon can kill this thing?

I don't know, but my wind spells seemed to be a lot more effective than guns against it. Maybe we should ask for advice at the Place of the Winds.


Yeah tin butt! Mojito me!

As soon as Acme zips off, Malice turns to Lynora-Jill

Thanks

Lynora isn't sure, but MJ looked almost teary. Quite impossible for a Jack ..


The Mouser frowns

Perhaps we should fight fire with fire. This creature runs on stolen Jack energy, perhaps there is some Jack energy we can use to counter it. Who posted the last millenial on this thread?


Malice Jack wrote:

Yeah tin butt! Mojito me!

As soon as Acme zips off, Malice turns to Lynora-jill

Thanks

Lynora isn't sure, but MJ looked almost teary. Quite impossible for a Jack ..

You're welcome. I am always happy to help my friends.


The Grey Mouser wrote:

The Mouser frowns

Perhaps we should fight fire with fire. This creature runs on stolen Jack energy, perhaps there is some Jack energy we can use to counter it. Who posted the last millenial on this thread?

That would be your guild leader, crimson jester.


The Mouser lights up

HAH! We have that walking tin can now!

pauses

Of course finding the Crimson One isn't always easy ...


Malice Jack throws his mojito down in two seconds

*BRAAAP!*

Maybe we should go ask the squabs for advice anyway, just in case, yeh?


Malice Jack wrote:

Malice Jack throws his mojito down in two seconds

*BRAAAP!*

Maybe we should go ask the squabs for advice anyway, just in case, yeh?

I'm ready as soon as you are.


You got the sexy new wings ... lead the way!

ACME!

Do your gyrocopter thing!


Acme transforms into a small helicopter with room for the others (if they squeeze)


*The priestess wings her way towards the Place of the Winds.*


The Acme gyrocopter stuffed with rogues and Jacks follows suit


The Ape gives up his defensive position at the window, and accompanies the Jacks (and Jill) out unto the lawn, his chest heaving with anger.
THUMPS CHEST: THUD! THUD! THUD!

Scarab Sages

Potato 'n Pesto Soup

Ingredients:
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/8 teaspoon white pepper
• 3 cups chicken broth
• 3 cups milk
• 1 3/4 cups Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 1/2 cup prepared pesto

Preparation Directions:
1. COMBINE butter, garlic powder, white pepper and broth in large saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
2. STIR in milk and potato flakes. Return to a boil. Reduce heat. Simmer 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
3. TOP each serving with scant tablespoon pesto. Swirl decoratively. Serve immediately.

Yield: 6 Servings
Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 10 min


The priestess flies over the clubhouse, and seeing that it has sustained no further damage through the night, continues on.


lynora-Jill wrote:
The priestess flies over the clubhouse, and seeing that it has sustained no further damage through the night, continues on.


A shout echoes from far away.
HELP!!!

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