Who could whup Conan?


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Liberty's Edge

Heathansson wrote:
300!!!

565!!!

2,037!!!

1,000,073,701!!!

42!!!


Galahad is to humble and to favored by the powers of good to ride just a simple horse; Conan would try to punch what appears to be a horse and wake up feeling kind of dizzy in the next county wondering how the heck he could have been so stupid to even try to stand in the presense of Galahad and try to cover up being humbled so easily by punching a few extra camels.

Liberty's Edge

So....what does Galahad ride?


Heathansson wrote:
Conan would punch Galahad's horse, knocking him over.

So Conan thinks he is Roberto Duran now.

-Duran by TKO inside 11, assuming the old 15 round fights.


not sure; I would think he just walks or appears where he is sent; in game terms- maybe a gold dragon, there is not much known; but being a 20th+ paladin he would have some deific mount far above average if he needed one.


Tensor wrote:

... Galahad is a sinner, a betrayer and surely one of satan's finest. It is obvious because he is trying too hard and that gives it away my main man.

Conan would grab him by the throat and bend him backward into water and watch him drown.

Crom!

Yay, all those high ranking church dudes have their hand in the cash bowl. That is the one sure thing about religion(s), the top is always currupt. They begin to think they are the god.


Here is our man at a beach rave -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd9syzNpfcA


Gumball wrote:

Here is our man at a beach rave -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd9syzNpfcA

L O L

Liberty's Edge

Conan could whup anyone's butt---wit' glowsticks!

(LOL)


I have to admit I have read all the Conan books. I can say at some level they changed me and my life.

One thing that I noticed after reading several in a row, is that whenever there is something wrong in the world, obscene, or unholy Conan seems to accidently stumble upon it, just in time, and kill it! Thank you Conan.

As an example, does anybody remember what story it was were Conan was scrambling over a mountain pass and he happened upon those two dudes engaged in psionic combat. That freaked me out, it was like the universe moved Conan to that position just so he would be able to put an end to an obscene aberation.

Tensor wrote:
What you fail to realize is that your favorite modern hero is really just a Conan derivative to begin with. Or should I say the author is a Conan wanna-be.

REH really did create the concept of the Eternal Champion by inventing Conan. My opinion is Elric is one of his shadows.

I heard a story once, in fact I think I heard it from my Mom (who has a huge sci-fi book collection), that when REH wrote he said he heard the story of Conan being told to him and he was only transcribing it. Very Lovecraftian, those dudes obviously communicated.

I like Conan because he is a bad-*ss and at the same time thinks strategically, like a chess player.


I was watching the Conan movie on TV today and you know what?

Conan's mom is a MILF !


Gumball wrote:

I was watching the Conan movie on TV today and you know what?

Conan's mom is a MILF !

Conan has a mother?


What is a MILF?

and I dont think Galahad CAN be killed, not by conan or anyone. He is saintly and pure; just going by how each was writtin up in the D&D universe; Conan really doesnt stand a chance without a huge literary sword helping him out.

Liberty's Edge

"MILF" stands for "mother I'd like to....." I have to leave the rest out; family board, y'know. ;)

Liberty's Edge

Valegrim wrote:

What is a MILF?

I'm reminded of an exchange from 'Saving Private Ryan':

G.I. #1: "Cap'n, I think this mission is FUBAR"

G.I. #2: "What's FUBAR?"

Captain: "It's German, son."

G.I. #2: "Huh. I've never heard that before..."

Liberty's Edge

Aww, yeah. Hey, Efreeti, you know what fubar means, right?
An f is an f.


You people are disgusting!

Now get this thread back on track before it gets completely FUBAR.


It's not FUBARed, it's all just a SNAFU.


yeah, I know FUBAR I am not a JAFO


hehe my avatar could whup Conan do you think yours could Heathy?

Liberty's Edge

Heck no. Yours couldn't either. ;)

Liberty's Edge

Your avatar wishes he could whup Conan.


hehe would be easy as; planeshift; hey; look at that human burn or gee, I wish Conan was dead only to return in a sequel hehe

Liberty's Edge

Conan whup Hefty Smurf.


Here is a blurb on the New Conan Video Game .

I hope this doesn't suck

Liberty's Edge

Me too.


I still am sura that Kenshiro would totally whup the barbarian on steroids...
c'mon guys! we are talking about the rightful scion of the school of Hokuto.
I mean, he can pass through a falling skyscraper with no sweat.
He packs so much power that one of his blows, if not perfectly delivered, could tear the whole univers apart!

now, who's this Conan again????


The maleficent Heather Mills could whup Conan. Even missing a leg and without a sword you saw what she did to Paul McCartney.

Liberty's Edge

Is she the one with the M-16 on her leg played by Rose McGowan?


Sven wrote:
I still am sura that Kenshiro would totally whup the barbarian on steroids...

I don't think it would matter if Kenshiro was on steroids or not.

Conan would be lounging around with his woman, and would call up Caine from Kung Fu.

Caine would see Kenshiro for the blasphemous dog that he is and eagerly agree to mend the world.

Kenshio would hold out his hand and say, "bet you can't pluck this stone from my hand!" Upon which Caine would pluck out both his eyeballs.

Crom!


well, I dont think it is fair to compare most immortals and gods and stuff; just heroic humans and I agree lots of them could wup some half brained Cimmerian


Tensor wrote:
Sven wrote:
I still am sura that Kenshiro would totally whup the barbarian on steroids...

I don't think it would matter if Kenshiro was on steroids or not.

Conan would be lounging around with his woman, and would call up Caine from Kung Fu.

Caine would see Kenshiro for the blasphemous dog that he is and eagerly agree to mend the world.

Kenshio would hold out his hand and say, "bet you can't pluck this stone from my hand!" Upon which Caine would pluck out both his eyeballs.

Crom!

Kenshiro would simply walk off after saying, "You're already dead" as Conan's head, arms, and heart exploded in great plumes of goo. The Fist of the Northstar wouldn't be impressed enough with Conan to even bother watching him die.


Kyr wrote:
Kenshiro would simply walk off after saying, "You're already dead" ...

Bwa ha ha ha...

Or at least, that is what Can-she-row? (i don't know) is writing down in his pretty pink diary about his *fantasy* as to what really happened.


Vin Diesel...or even someone with the half-diesel template...definately.


Joseph Jolly wrote:
Vin Diesel...or even someone with the half-diesel template...definately.

Diesel definitely. MALKOR! MALKOR! MALKOR!

Sorry, I had to do that. (And I probably spelled it wrong.) But you just can't beat Vin Diesel, no one Whups Riddick.

Liberty's Edge

Dirk Gently wrote:
Joseph Jolly wrote:
Vin Diesel...or even someone with the half-diesel template...definately.

Diesel definitely. MALKOR! MALKOR! MALKOR!

Sorry, I had to do that. (And I probably spelled it wrong.) But you just can't beat Vin Diesel, no one Whups Riddick.

It's MELKOR, you know, like the rogue Valar that eventually became Morgoth the Enemy in the Silmarillion.

And just for the record, Vin Diesel could beat Conan AND Chuck Norris AT THE SAME TIME!


Mr. Eldritch Mr. Shiney wrote:
And just for the record, Vin Diesel could beat Conan AND Chuck Norris AT THE SAME TIME!

Probably, but I doubt they would stand there with their pants down for that long before ramming a football down his neck.

Liberty's Edge

Tensor wrote:
Mr. Eldritch Mr. Shiney wrote:
And just for the record, Vin Diesel could beat Conan AND Chuck Norris AT THE SAME TIME!

Probably, but I doubt they would stand there with their pants down for that long before ramming a football down his neck.

...not answering that...


Heathansson wrote:
Is she the one with the M-16 on her leg played by Rose McGowan?

Makes complete sense that one was based on the other.


A Riddle:

What could whup Conan, and the dead eat it, and when the living eat it they die?

Liberty's Edge

Casca Rufio Longinius wrote:

A Riddle:

What could whup Conan, and the dead eat it, and when the living eat it they die?

Chuck Norris?

Liberty's Edge

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Casca Rufio Longinius wrote:

A Riddle:

What could whup Conan, and the dead eat it, and when the living eat it they die?

Chuck Norris?

I refer you to the untitled thread...


Casca Rufio Longinius wrote:

A Riddle:

What could whup Conan, and the dead eat it, and when the living eat it they die?

ANSWER: Nothing

Liberty's Edge

Casca Rufio Longinius wrote:
Casca Rufio Longinius wrote:

A Riddle:

What could whup Conan, and the dead eat it, and when the living eat it they die?

ANSWER: Nothing

thog no understand talky-man. thog angry now.


Nothing could beat Conan. The dead eat Nothing. If the living eat Nothing, then they die.

Liberty's Edge

What a great riddle.


A pun is a rare medium well-done.


I wonder if Dr. Strange would have a chance againts Conan?

pic

Nah!! Who am I kidding, I need more grog...

Liberty's Edge

I bet Riddick could whup Conan.

Liberty's Edge

Psssssssshaw.

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