Corvin Kilgannon's page

BEST SONG EVER:

PENGUIN ATTACK by GWAR

THEY ATTACK
THEY ATTACK

They are on a rampage
Unleashed from ancient time
Stumbling from the ice age
Marching side by side
Beaks of steel are flaming
Women are enraged
Sky of death is flaming
Women get engaged

They were born of atomic steel
Life and death to them seemed so unreal

Slashing at the ramparts
Hurling tons of shot
Shopping now at Wal Mart
Smoking tons of pot
They are on a rampage
They were first to fight
They would write a new page
If they could only write

They were born of atomic steel
THEY ATTACK
Life and death to them was so unreal
THEY ATTACK
C'mon baby, kick 'em in the ding - ding
Trouble on the double's what it b-b-b-b bring bring
They were born of atomic steel
THEY ATTACK
It's a penguin attack!
So get back
They were born of atomic steel
Life and death to them was so unreal
THEY ATTACK

armored phalanxes
flanking maneuvers
vomiting terror
Gibsons and Hoovers
Blasted by fusion
Kicked in the head
just to make sure
we chopped up their dead
It's a penguin attack!

They were born of atomic steel
Life and death to them was so unreal

Stumbling from the ice age
They were last in flight
They would write a new page
If they could only write
Rumbling from the ice age
They were last in line
They would start a new age
If they could just take time
It's a penguin attack!

C'mon baby, kick him in the ding-ding
Trouble on the double's what it b-b-b-b-bring bring
THEY ATTACK
It's a penguin attack
They were born of atomic steel
THEY ATTACK
Life and death to them was so unreal
THEY ATTACK

Who do I have to pay to get your dreams? Mine are so boring. I dream of going to class and being late or going to the supermarket and getting the wrong thing and having to go back. Or I dream about working on a painting I'm doing and then the next day I go to the studio and do exactly what I was thinking about in my dream, down to the color, the brush, the placement of my hand in my field of vision; everything.

Sounds like my dreams. I have a recurring dream that I wake up, dress, shower, and go to work. Then I wake up. Definitely not cool.

Aberzombie wrote:

Heathansson wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Wow, when I was in highschool we had people like that, except we called them Pansies (crap, did I spell that correctly?), sissies, and several other even more disparaging terms.

I don't know. Honestly it sounds like "teenager" to me.

To true.

Now I'm confused... Did people think I was "emo" when they called me those names?

Oh, that's right, I was in theater.

I was in theater, too, but I never got called *those names.*

I just got called crazy...

Once upon a time I would say, only half-ironically: "Black is what I wear on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside". Nowadays, it's closer to: "Black is what I wear on the outside because black is what was clean this morning."

"Black is what I wear on the outside so the bloodstains don't show"

I think I saw that on a t-shirt once.

Since I am too lazy to use the new 'aliases' format for the messageboards, I am forced to make the following announcement:

1.) Let it be known that The Eldritch Mr. Shiny and Corvin Kilgannon are the same person.

2.) Reason: Said person is too lazy to use new alias format as stated above. Also, this is because said person has dial-up internet and doesn't want to spend 15 minutes switching avatars.

3.) DO NOT BE ALARMED; THIS IS MERELY A FORMAL RESTATEMENT OF SOMETHING WHICH IS ALREADY KNOWN. Said person above is merely sick of people thinking that he is two different people.

End.

Themes such as life is pain are common.

MUST... NOT... MAKE... OotS... REFERENCE...

Wow...can't say that I guess...*laughs* That wasn't bad I promise!

I'm speechless... I'm reminded of the k-u-s-h-i-t-e problem someone had on the 'Who could whup Conan' thread.

Fake Healer wrote:

Do you post on other D&D sites or just Paizo? If only Paizo, why?

Yes, but not as often. The WotC site is just really...bleh, and I'm not a huge fan of EnWorld either. WotC seems to be full of "you must do it this way because IT'S IN THE BOOKS - oh noes, how dare you think that putting X creature in Y location is WRONG, because the BOOK says on page 45, subsection 3 that they ONLY appear here." Yuck. EnWorld has its share of campaign/system elitists and some are so rabidly against hearing another's position that I don't care to involve myself in it.

I prefer Paizo because of the community here - for the most part, we can agree to disagree and take objective stances on flame-sensitive subjects. That's what I like the most - we know we all have different methods of approaching topics (like dice rolling ;) ), but can be adult enough to say, "You know, that wouldn't work for me, but if it floats your boat, sail on."

This is off topic, but I have a friend who subscribes to the DDO boards just so he can read the idiotic flame- and nerf-wars that go on in said boards.

If you need a website to host your stuff, you can use DeviantArt - it's free to sign up and use, you just gotta put up with the adverts.

Nice to know. Thanks.

Hey what is everyone current hit points now that I healed Greis for 1 point. Will heal people by percentage of health left.

I got lucky and didn't get hit, so no healing for me.

Corvin Kilgannon wrote:

As to my last post: Corvin has anger problems.

heh. Hey, thanks for not killing Anarath! I was a little worried... ;-)

Never crossed my mind. It's been ingrained in my mind ever since I was a young lad of twelve (when I first started playing), "NEVER KILL ANOTHER PC OR YOU'LL FACE MY WRATH," as said by the Omnipotent Dungeon Master (interestingly enough, the same guy who made the 'tinted sunglasses' remark--see the 'One-Liners' thread...).

Most recently I was looking for a non-malevolent jungle dwelling tribal race. Nothing. Nothing at all. There's a very few non-jungle tribal races like Crabfolk and Loxo--but most things that live in tribes are completely hostile.

I ran into the same problem and had to create an ENTIRE FREAKIN' NEW RACE to fill the gap.

Corvin Kilgannon wrote:

Rehab is for quitters.

There are many things worth quitting,like cigarettes, cocaine, and alcohol [sigh]. Keep it up Secreturchinman.

Sorry about that...

Anyway, I (read: Mr. Shiny) haven't had much experience with addiction (just abuse of my own medication), so I'm not speaking from experience. However, I know people who have had problems, and I know what *these things* can do to somebody, so keep at it Secretturchinman.

It's probably not a completely original concept, but:

Dagger of Healing

This masterwork alchemical silver dagger will, on a successful attack, cast cure light wounds (1d8+1 hp) on the target in addition to dealing normal weapon damage.

Use activated; market price 2,322gp

Must be awesome against undead...

Anarath whirls on Corvin, his pale face whiter than normal in the moonlight – from blood-loss or anger its hard to tell. “Human!” he hisses, his voice fierce, passionate as his companions have not heard it before. “We will NOT torture this thing! If you must work off your rage –anymore than, than THAT” – he points a trembling finger at the brutalised kobold corpses Corvin has left in his wake, “then by the Ruby Sorceress hit a tree! Or slit the throat of this creature, fast, quick if you must. Kill it – though we may lose valuable information. But do not torture.” He draws a hand across his eyes, tracing the fine pattern of scars on his eyelids.

“Never torture…” he whispers softly.

“Now I suggest someone return to watch, in case there are more of these things out there – not that our last watchman gave us much warning.” He raises a placating hand towards Corvin, his anger drained. “No, I don’t blame you. But we must be careful. And I will accept some healing too Gawlak, if your god will oblige. Then, perhaps, you could see if this miserable creature still lives, and will wake and answer our further questions.”

He looks over at Gawlak, tending to the wounded sorcerer. “Is he alright?”

Corvin sinks to his knees, the anger fading from his features.

"Sorry... It's just, sometimes, I just lose it... I mean those little lizard-rat-things attacked us, and I acted... Couldn't help it..."

The fighter continues to mumble incoherently as Gawlak, Anarath, and Dohrlok attend to the wounded Greis. After a little while, he gets up and begins to pace, a slight distance between him and the rest of the group.

Rehab is for quitters.

As to my last post: Corvin has anger problems.

You little bastard! I'm gonna show you a whoe new world of PAIN!
Corvin grabs the creature's arm, proceeding to tug on it with all of his might.

14 + 3 = 17 Strength check to dislocate the kobold's shoulder

THAT'S what you get for attacking us!

I've got an ahhh, umm,. kind of a problem...

I don't have a website, ergo; nowhere to show off my mad skillz. So, in short, where do I post my rather medocre artwork?

Anarath quickly and confidently translates the creatures’ ramblings into the Common tongue for his companions.

“It would seem that we can communicate with the thing,” he comments dryly. “Does anyone else have any questions for it? I’m interested in who – or what – its king is. And it seems our mad architect is alive and well … perhaps it will be useful to bring this creature along with us, to bargain if we run into any more of it’s fellows. Perhaps it – or this “king” – knows more about the Manor, hmmm?”

So, wait, you BELIEVE this glorified swamp lizard? He's probably lying through his teeth. I know their kind. They'll do anything to save their skin.

Corvin, still in his whirling frenzy, lunges at the remaining kobold, shouting "NO QUARTER, NO PRISONERS" at the top of his lungs. Colliding with the small humanoid, he slams its body against his own, trying his best to reduce the kobold to a bloody mess of scales and gore.

Technical: Grapple attempt: Grapple check: 17 + 4 = 21; Damage from spiked armor: 1d6 + 3 Str = 5 + 3 = 8 piercing damage.

Not sure you can use both attacks on an AoO.

Sorry, I forgot about that. Here's the correct version of the last post:

Corvin launches himself at the next kobold, embedding his spiked knuckles in the kobold's ribcage.

Technical: Attack roll 1: 12 + 4 total attack bonus = 16; Damage: (if it hits): 1d4 + 3 = 3 + 3 = 6. Note: using spiked gauntlet (1d4 piercing/bludgeoning)

Corvin launches himself at the next kobold, striking a glancing blow off of the creature's scales and dealing no damage. His next hit is luckier, embedding his spiked knuckles in the kobold's ribcage.

Technical: Attack roll 1: 12 + 4 total attack bonus - 2 (attacking with 2 weapons)* = 14 / Attack roll 2: 19 + 4 total attack bonus -2 (attacking with 2 weapons)* = 21; Damage: attack 1 (if it hits): 1d4 + 3 = 3 + 3 = 6 / attack 2 (if it hits): 1d4 + 3 = 3 + 3 = 6. Note: using 2 spiked gauntlets (1d4 piercing/bludgeoning)
*Corvin has the 2 - weapon fighting feat

I was watching the Conan movie on TV today and you know what?

Conan's mom is a MILF !

Conan has a mother?

Corvin charges at one of the kobolds, throwing himself on the small reptilian creature and rending its flesh with his jagged-spiked armor.

Technical: Charge attack; attack roll: 18 + 4 for total attack bonus = 22; Grapple check: 16 + 4 for grapple modifier = 20; Damage: 1d6 + 1 str = 6 + 1 = 7 (piercing) = 1 pile of kobold paste. And yes, those ARE my actual rolls. Man, I NEVER get that lucky during regular games. I got killed by one of those little f#~+ers once. Anyway, my AC is now at 14 (previously 16)

I have sometimes the impression that either signaling uses a LOT of energy, so it isn´t done to save fuel, or that some folks driving are so super-secret that they don´t want anybody to know where they are headed until the very last moment.

In general, I seem to notice a trend that drivers are more reckless and unthinking these days - not being able to see the licence plate of the car behind you at nearly 100 mph on the Autobahn because it´s so close is nothing unusual these days. Just a week ago, two vans all but rammed each other just ahead of me, purely out of aggressiveness for whatever reason - perhaps one cut the other or whatever. I´m thinking of making a sticker "This is my trunk, not your parking lot." If cars had guns integrated like in the old James Mond movies, we would have Mad Max-like highways by now...

Stefan

I just have one question: who in the infinie layers of the Abyss is James Mond?

If I am not able to post on Saturday (very probable), Corvin's actions during combat will be:

Round 1: attempt a bull rush at attackers
Round 2 and all other rounds: attempt to grapple attackers (remember that Corvin has armor spikes)

The Denial Twist

I think, actually, that God was stoned and listening to Kyuss when he thought

This forest is growing faster than I can tell

(I hope I quoted it right)

Yeah, you did.

The Denial Twist

Everywhere I go on this board (and EZBoards and ENWorld) people are talking about their rouge characters and rouge NPCs.

This issue pisses me off, as it does my alter ego The Eldritch Mr. Shiny. It really bugs me when people misspell things. I guess I'm just OCD about it.

Surprisingly, Corvin actually thinks he can see the attacker(s). Whether he's right is anyone's guess. What is certain is that he's ready to fight. He makes ready his stance, preparing to enter the fray in a flurry of jagged metal and flying fists.

(Spot check: 17 - 1 = 16; Initiative: 13 + 2 = 15)

Without bothering to remove his armor, Corvin slmps against a tree, and is asleep within minutes.

Corvin Kilgannon wrote:

However, Conan has forgotten about the two other band members...
...then uses his siiiick finishing move: the Massive Beer Gut Slam....

Epilogue:

The virtual reality machine clicks off. The air is steamy. The drummer leans close to his lips.

"Let's go again, this time you be Conan and let me 'whup' you."

---
Ha, you can fantisize about Conan, but you can never touch him.

AAAAH! MY BURNING EYES!

"Don't much care who does what, 'long as it gets done. I'll take second watch. Or third, whichever comes first."

Corvin Kilgannon wrote:

I'm a prime candidate to become either a serial killer or a politician.

If you have any moral fiber at all you must choose the former.

Definitely. The whole 'politician' thing was merely hypothetical.

By the way...

Arctaris, how are you going to handle PC death and level-ups?

I'm a Scorpio, but most people say that I'm a cancer.

First of all, note that Corvin Kilgannon = Mr. Shiny.

Yeah, my friend used to be all into astrology, and made up horoscopes for everyone in the gaming group. It turns out that my dominant planets are Saturn and Pluto, and my dominant signs are Scorpio, Capricorn, and Cancer. In other words, I'm a prime candidate to become either a serial killer or a politician.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Tenacious D could DESTROY Conan. YOU CAN'T KILL THE METAL!

Conan walks down a busy side street. Before him, TenDee walks up with his guitar slung across his back.

Conan nods, "I really like your music TenDee”

“Thanks, Conan! That is really nice of you to say.” Pauses. His eyes darken and he swings his guitar to the front in an instant of flashing light. “I have been sent here to whup you Conan. Prepare to Die!”

TenDee steps wide getting into a power stance. He is going to blast Conan from existence with his greatest tool, his music. Dark mangy bangs cover his eyes as he raises his hand, pick at the ready for the down stroke and victory.

Conan, instinctively, had already stepped to the side slightly as TenDee approached. This had the effect of putting his body between onlookers and TenDee, and TenDee between himself and a sooty, weather worn wall. For the casual observer from behind all one can see is Conan’s cobra V-shaped back. TenDee is boxed in, hidden from view, and on Conan’s killing ground.

Starting with a scream TenDee rips his pick down for the power chord.

“YOU CAN’T KILL ROCK … “ (chunk…thwap)

TenDee, “Hey, why am I on the ground… wait why is my body standing there with a gout of blood coming from a severed neck. Conan has chopped my head off and I didn’t even see him move….”

Waiting for the body to realize it no longer has a head and fall to the ground, Conan slowly paces away. A quick glance over his shoulder tells him no bystanders saw the attack.

He flips out his mp3 player, and punches up TenDee. Conan likes his music.

However, Conan has forgotten about the two other band members...

While Conan is busy with his mp3 player, two shadowy figures step out of a firy portal.

Lead singer/guitarist Jack Black is dead.

Lead guitarist/vocalist Kyle Gass and session drummer/vocalist Dave Grohl live on...

KaGe uses the power of his shiny bald head to blind the Cimmerian as Dave uses his demonic gravelly voice to deafen Conan.

Kyle then uses his siiiick finishing move: the Massive Beer Gut Slam.

Nothing is left of Conan but a pool of blood.

Kyle and Dave then use their abyssal powers to resurrect JB, and the three depart back to their flaming studio for much- needed ganja break.

up over the gunwale of the pogoship

to get even

I'm throwing the book at Fake Healer!

Ha!

Maybe the Spell Compendium... that one is heavy.

Or, if you can work with non-D&D books, the GURPS Campaigns/Characters double special edition sourcebook. I weighed it: 14.5 pounds. Ouch.

-Mr. Shiny a.k.a. Corvin Kilgannon

I love how Fafhrd and the Mouser always break up and then discover that they need each other to beat the bad guys.

Sorta like the Tenacious D movie...

"I'm fine with the surveying and all, it's just the whole 'nice and visible' thing I'm hangin' up on. We might attract 'unwanted attention," replies Corvin to the young noble as he trudges along near the rear of the group.
"There're all sorts about, and many I wouldn't want to meet alone in the woods at night, if you catch what I'm sayin'."

of sentimental value

sorry guys. Been busy few days here thought posting would be easy but, like every time I get going in a game there is an issue. I will remedy this best I can. I am a gamer after all. I know where my priorities lie.

Yeah, my schedule has been pretty hectic, and I am never here in time to post, so bear with me for a few days.

"Most of us have enoufgh. I myself carry a backpack, bedroll, waterskin, thirty feet of rope, and enough gorramn rations to feed five of us for three days."
Corvin then mutters under his breath,
"Damn rations. I go out of my way to help someone else ONCE in my life, and I get chewed ot for it. Typical."

Heh...enchanted tavern girl... I mean, nossir, I've been procuring rations for the ummm, adventuring party. Sorry, boss...

Sorry, Mothman...

I just realized that I've been spelling your character's name wrong for the entire thread. I feel like such a creton...

As for the matter of money," he smiles sardonically, "there's supposed to be plenty of THAT at the manor."

"Damn straight..."

"Now Corvin, did Greis come in here? He was looking for you. He sounded ... frustrated?"

No, not that I know of. I hope not.