Priestess of Calistria's page

47 posts. Alias of Patrick Curtin.


Come here dahling ..

When a problem comes along

You must whip it

Gets out the pleated cat-o-nine tails

*whap* *whap* *whap*

You might be a Paizo nerd if you free-form roleplay down in the OTD threads .

The party has raged on, growing rowdier as the night progresses. The priestess takes a breather and heads to the powder room. Staring at the large mirror she frowns.

I wonder how Lynora is doing? She wonders to herself

Casting a quick scry spell, she sees the fierce battle occuring around Lynora.


Concentrating she reaches out her hand and the staff she created her thread with materializes in it. She points it at the scrying mirror.


A blast of greenish power strikes the mirror from the staff

The priestess yells over the music

No worries Lyn! Stop by and tell me all the juicy bits when you are done!

hangs up phone and starts to dance with a cambion decked out in full club kid kit

The priestess nods

There's a omniportal right over there on the stone patio by the pool .. The key to the Jack's clubhouse is a beer!

The crowd on the dance floor swirls with a melange of beings: Fiends, celestials, elves, humans and even a few animals and trees join in the dancing. The tables beyond the dance floor are packed with laughing groups downing half-a-hundred different cocktails. Rosie and Acme are a blur as they try to keep up with the demand.

The priestess comes out onto the dancefloor and keeps Lynora-Jill company, dancing sinously to the pounding music

I wonder where the jacks are tonight? She yells over the beat.

lynora-Jill wrote:

*casts summon party dress. The white minidress appears in her hands.*

A party deserves the appropriate dress I think. Is there somewhere I can change?

The priestess hands Lynora-Jill an ornate key

Here's a key for the changing area in the pool cabana.

Leans in and whispers

I have it shielded from scry spells and other *ahem* intrusive stuff.

Speaking of fiendish dryads, I have a call to make. Make yourself at home Mr. Krome! There's a bottle of 500-year-old Morian Scotch behind the bar if you like that, or there's a few different dwarvish ales on tap at the bar as well.

Begins dialing again

Smiles at the blue-skinned dwarf

You betcha! Ale women, and hopefully a fiendish dryad or two ..

A rich contrallo voice issues from the phone

Hello? Is Malice Jack there please?

The preistess hugs Lynora-Jill

Thanks Lyn! Now to get my favorite DJ over here ..

Resumes dialing

Puts cell phone down.

WOW! Those Acme folks are fast!

Looks at Rosie

How about getting some hors d'oeuvres going there. The kitchen is fully stocked.

The priestess brightens

Excellent! I must say MJ's servant is a great waiter and batsman, Acme makes a good robot!

Pulls out her iPhone

Let me call around and get some folks over for my housewarming!

starts dialing

The priestess smiles wickedly and hands Lynora-Jill a salt-encrusted Margarita.

I'm glad you like it! I stole the monkey's staff this morning and came out here to create it. Can you imagine he pulled me from my temple, had me hostess a party for him and then was going to just send me back? I don't think so. The Interthereal Sea has fantastic creative properties ...

Looks concerned on hearing about JH

Well, I can always try to commune with Calistria to see if there is anything I can find out. Can you bring him over here by any chance? Being the creator of this thread I have certain enhancements to my power here.

The priestess fixes a vegetable dip tray and places it between the two

You know, I really need some domestic staff about here ...

Just as the priestess settles down, Lynora-Jill walks in

SWEETIE! Come in come in!

She slips a yellow-black striped sundress over her head and gets up to hug Lynora

Please have a drink! So what do you think? Not too shabby huh?


Is something wrong with JH? He seemed fine yesterday ..

The goddess gets her mount settled in after her encounter with her aggressive cousin

There there girl, it's OK.

The large wasp buzzes irritably, but soon flies up to the crystal hive to rest. The priestess takes a quick saunter over to the pool, strips down and does fifty laps in a row. Climbing out refreshed, she mixes herself a Stinger and grabs the latest Nora Roberts book off the bar. She drapes a large fluffy towel on a nearby chaise lounge chair and spreads some lotion on her creamy flesh and commences to get some serious tanning in.

AHHH .... Now this is living She sighs

Smiles at the matronly kobold

Thank you Esmarelda. TW, if you want to be nice, I'm sure there'll be plenty of spilled soda and alcohol later to sip on. Miss Esmerelda, can I offer you some refreshments?

OK seriously, I don't really know what to do with this so ..

The missile hits, bursting the large wasp into fragments.

The priestess screams


Turns to Theiving Wasp

You just made your last mistake buddy boy!

Sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles. An exited buzzing fills the air as hundreds of horse-sized wasps exit the crystal hive and descend on Theiving Wasp, ripping him to shreds.


Mr. Theiving wasp, there are plenty of flowers. Besides, wouldn't you rather have this?

Snaps her fingers and a half-full can of Coca Cola appears.

There's wasp lodging aplenty in the crystal hive up top as long as you don't mind bunking with Minerva here and a few of her sisters.

The formless bytes of the Deep Interthereal Sea hiss and crackle like a thousand cathode-ray tubes warming up. Over this endless hypnotic hiss a faint humming swells into being. A large yellow jacket wasp the size of a horse comes into view. Atop it, resplendent in a fashionable clingy grey skirt and silk blouse is The Priestess of Calistria. A well-oiled whip gleams at her hip, and one hand graps the reins of her insectile steed. The other hand holds a small gnarled staff with a greenish crystal at its apex. She mutters to herself as she rides through the formless potentiality.

HMF! As if that monkey was going to put me away in the toybox after all that! Fortunately, he does like his naps ...

The priestess pauses at a certain spot. She raises the staff and calls upon the energy of unformed binary potentiality


The Interthereal Sea remains unchanged. The priestess shakes the small staff and frowns.

Hmm, must have got the wrong chant.. AHEM!

Raises the staff again


The formless sea of bytes rolls back to reveal a long white-sand coastline. In the distance is the booming of waves hitting a lagoon reef. Pale aquamarine waters stretch out from the beach to the horizon. Long docks lined with several fantastical rafts and boats dot the sandy shore.

Behind the beach a large mansion fashioned of pale limestone sits. Red tiles frame its roof and a large bluestone patio runs around it, bistro tables and umbrellas arranged artfully around it. An Olympic-sized pool sits at it's side, flanked with several cabanas and a wetbar/grill combo. An enormous hot tub sits to the side of the pool, trickling warmer water into the main area.

A large symbol of three daggers arranged with pommels touching in the center is embossed over the main doors of the mansion. A strange hive of crystal sits atop the tallest peak of the roof.

Past the mansion a large cluster of buildings flank a horse riding area. Beyond that is a hedge maze, a frog pond, ATV trails, a croquet lawn and what looks to be a paintball course. Green meadows strech out to an interminate distance.

The priestess smiles and shouts:


She guides her waspish mount down into the newly-formed demithread.

Casts a concerned glance at Lynora, then is jostled by the gyrating Evil Monkey

HEY! Bigfoot! Other people are dancing here!

Priestess looks around

Huh. These Jacks talk a good game, but a little shy no?

Heads out on floor to dance with Lynora

Lord of All Insects wrote:

*looks at priestess of Calistria*

Be still my clicking mandibles....


Say you know my goddesses' favored herald is the giant wasp...

Tosses strawberry blonde hair

Reappears wearing slinky minidress with a large whip positioned on her curvy hip

Hmm, I like this! And I think I'm going to need the whip with this crowd!

Turns to Lynora

You look splendid in that getup girl! You're going to have the golems doing a battle royale later!

lynora-Jill wrote:

*Follows the Priestess of Calistria inside.*

Ooh, I hope they have something in white.

I saw some nice evening wear, and some nice clubbing rigs as well ...

The voices fade as the girls enter the clubhouse

lynora-Jill wrote:

*Flies in on her dragon friend. Climbs off and sets Margarinefrog gently down.*

Oh, no one told me that this was fancy dress.

*Bites lip as she considers what to do.*

Looks over at Lynora

Well, since I have to get a new dress, you want to check out the closets in this place? I looked earlier, looks like Imelda Marcos and Paris Hilton were robbed and the goods were stuffed in there!

Gives the Borg a hard stare

You're lucky I borrowed that Vera Wang buddy ... HMF!

Stalks off

Looks offended.

You NEVER ask a lady that... But yes

Jack Hammer wrote:

*Jack Hammer distracts the lovely hot tub ladies with a fresh tray of drinks and the best 'How YOU doin' imitation he can muster*

The preiestess grabs her drink with a smile

What are your two buddies up to there?

Yeah, Calistria hangs with some weird folk sometimes. At least the temple has a clothing allowance for working priestesses!

Looks around the clubhouse

Although this crew is pretty weird in its own way. Are those two golems going to wear my top or something?

lynora-Jill wrote:

I have some top notch cleansing spells I can do for you.

Thanks! Rat drool is a tough one. Almost as bad as Glabrezu slime ..


lynora-Jill wrote:
Priestess of Calistria wrote:

Looks over

Hey that rat stole my top!

They do that. I have to put magical locks on my closet to keep them from stealing my bikini tops. And even then it only works some of the time.


I just got that top too! Now it'll have rat drool on it!


Looks over

Hey that rat stole my top!

lynora-Jill wrote:

... Oh well, thanks for trying. If you do happen to come upon anything that would help, let me know.

Oh, and Calistria sounds fun.
*drains the last of the tequila* Hey, can I get another drink over here please?

The priestess looks thoughtful

Well, perhaps I can try and commune with Calistria for a sloution. ALwys happy to help out potential converts! Let me give it some thought, they don't call her the goddess of trickery for nothing!

The naked half-elven priestess ponders, tapping a yellow-and-black striped fingernail to her pale cheek

I'm not sure how you divest yourself from a goddess inhabiting you. They usually do what they please. Perhaps by acting in ways antithetical to the goddess? Just a thought.

Oh and Calistria is the Savored Sting, Goddess of trickery, lust, and revenge. Some of my favorite things!

Laughs wickedly, sipping her Stinger cocktail

lynora-Jill wrote:

*Shows up carrying a duffel bag. Looks around.*

Wow. This is quite the party you have here. I brought presents.
*Opens the bag to reveal that the bag of holding is stuffed to the gills with alcohol. Hands bag to Acme Robot, grabbing out a bottle of tequila as she does.*
And since I still have 24 hours to go on my 'drink all you want so you can deal with all the crap people keep telling you evil you did with your body while you were away' clause, I intend to make the most of them. Ooh, a hot tub.
*Climbs into the hot tub.*

The half-elven priestess smiles coquettishly

Welcome sister! My, you look like the perect worshipper for my goddess Calistria! Are you afffiliated with any other deities at the moment?

Jack Hammer wrote:

The roar of trurbine engines dim the sound for a moment as a large hovercraft pulls up to the party. The name Lug Boat is painted on its stern.

Hey! I heard there was a half-clad hottie in a jacuzzi here. I brought a couple of kegs for the party.

spotting the half-eleven priestess enjoying the jacuzzi, and is disappointed by the exaggeration of the lack of clothing So, what's the buzz?

The half-elven beauty looks up at the large golem.

Well, I hate to disappoint!

Goes commando

A half-elven female clad in a yellow and black bikini swoops down riding a large yellowjacket wasp.

Ahh! A Jacuzzi!

Disembarks off the wasp and eases gently into the warm water.

Hey ain't you supposed to be helping your master crank out his overdue setting? Quit nyucking off!

HEY! Gimmie my whip back! I need that for midnight Mass!

Clerics of lust deities are ALWAYS welcome wherever they go I have found. Something about lust reaches across the aisles and brings the parties together.

Hmmm .... Looks thoughtful

How about you CJ? I bet you could use a little eye candy on your ticket to distrac ... err entertain the masses on the way to victory? All I ask is a good salary and a few departments like the FCC and the CIA to keep me busy when you assume office. :)

Runs a finger over her lips

I do love a strong dictator type.

David Wickham wrote:

I need a running mate still. I'll even let you do one share of the work and get to do another for free!

Sorry David, but that's a proposition I can resist. Not that I am adverse to working it, I just don't want to do ALL of the work. I need the other person to be there, if you know what I mean.


I also demand top dollar for all I will bring to someone's ticket.

OOOO ... A prestige class ..... MMMMMMMMM

I'll second that request pretty please?

Do you need a running mate Daigle? I am just the woman to put the 'vice' in vice president.


I don't mind being at the bottom of the ticket.

I would like to enter this race from left field and shake the whole shooting match up.

I stand for traditional the traditional elven values of lust, betrayal and trickery. Of course to humans these values translate as chastity, loyalty and plain dealing.

A vote for me insures frequent 'buy one get one free' holidays at your local Temple of Calistria.

Congress will be much more interesting when I implement the new majority/minority 'whip' rules!