Club Calistria


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The formless bytes of the Deep Interthereal Sea hiss and crackle like a thousand cathode-ray tubes warming up. Over this endless hypnotic hiss a faint humming swells into being. A large yellow jacket wasp the size of a horse comes into view. Atop it, resplendent in a fashionable clingy grey skirt and silk blouse is The Priestess of Calistria. A well-oiled whip gleams at her hip, and one hand graps the reins of her insectile steed. The other hand holds a small gnarled staff with a greenish crystal at its apex. She mutters to herself as she rides through the formless potentiality.

HMF! As if that monkey was going to put me away in the toybox after all that! Fortunately, he does like his naps ...

The priestess pauses at a certain spot. She raises the staff and calls upon the energy of unformed binary potentiality

COME FORTH! COME FORTH! MENE MENE TEKEL! SINAN FIAT LUX! VOREL ARCANNISS!

The Interthereal Sea remains unchanged. The priestess shakes the small staff and frowns.

Hmm, must have got the wrong chant.. AHEM!

Raises the staff again

I WANT MY OWN PAD! WITH A BEACH, POOL, HOT TUB AND LOTS OF PARTY STUFF!

The formless sea of bytes rolls back to reveal a long white-sand coastline. In the distance is the booming of waves hitting a lagoon reef. Pale aquamarine waters stretch out from the beach to the horizon. Long docks lined with several fantastical rafts and boats dot the sandy shore.

Behind the beach a large mansion fashioned of pale limestone sits. Red tiles frame its roof and a large bluestone patio runs around it, bistro tables and umbrellas arranged artfully around it. An Olympic-sized pool sits at it's side, flanked with several cabanas and a wetbar/grill combo. An enormous hot tub sits to the side of the pool, trickling warmer water into the main area.

A large symbol of three daggers arranged with pommels touching in the center is embossed over the main doors of the mansion. A strange hive of crystal sits atop the tallest peak of the roof.

Past the mansion a large cluster of buildings flank a horse riding area. Beyond that is a hedge maze, a frog pond, ATV trails, a croquet lawn and what looks to be a paintball course. Green meadows strech out to an interminate distance.

The priestess smiles and shouts:

I LOVE THIS STAFF!

She guides her waspish mount down into the newly-formed demithread.


Hey! Tell that overgrown bumblebee of yours to watch it! He just landed on my flowers!


Frowns

Mr. Theiving wasp, there are plenty of flowers. Besides, wouldn't you rather have this?

Snaps her fingers and a half-full can of Coca Cola appears.

There's wasp lodging aplenty in the crystal hive up top as long as you don't mind bunking with Minerva here and a few of her sisters.


Priestess of Calistria wrote:

Frowns

Mr. Theiving wasp, there are plenty of flowers. Besides, wouldn't you rather have this?

Snaps her fingers and a half-full can of Coca Cola appears.

There's wasp lodging aplenty in the crystal hive up top as long as you don't mind bunking with Minerva here and a few of her sisters.

I don't think so, sister. These are MY flowers, and that mount o' yours is a goner.

*Fires rocket launcher the size of a cat which he can somehow lift at wasp*


OK seriously, I don't really know what to do with this so ..

The missile hits, bursting the large wasp into fragments.

The priestess screams

MINERVA!

Turns to Theiving Wasp

You just made your last mistake buddy boy!

Sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles. An exited buzzing fills the air as hundreds of horse-sized wasps exit the crystal hive and descend on Theiving Wasp, ripping him to shreds.


Priestess of Calistria wrote:

OK seriously, I don't really know what to do with this so ..

The missile hits, bursting the large wasp into fragments.

The priestess screams

MINERVA!

Turns to Theiving Wasp

You just made your last mistake buddy boy!

Sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles. An exited buzzing fills the air as hundreds of horse-sized wasps exit the crystal hive and descend on Theiving Wasp, ripping him to shreds.

Sorry, I didn't really think it would work. Sorry.

Well, crap.
Ow! Watch it!
*Starts shooting with all six legs, taking out about six before he is overrun*
DAMMIT!!! ESMERELDA!!!


Wael, Ah did tell ya that if ya wen' an' attacked thahm wahsps ahnlay bahd thangs could 'appen. Mass True Resurrection!
*All the wasps, including Minerva and Thieving Wasp, are brought back to life*
There. Now, all o' ya, watch it! Ah don' wanna have ta cast thet spael twahs.


Mah Aunt Esmarelda wrote:

Wael, Ah did tell ya that if ya wen' an' attacked thahm wahsps ahnlay bahd thangs could 'appen. Mass True Resurrection!

*All the wasps, including Minerva and Thieving Wasp, are brought back to life*
There. Now, all o' ya, watch it! Ah don' wanna have ta cast thet spael twahs.

*Grumbles*

Yes, ma'am.


Smiles at the matronly kobold

Thank you Esmarelda. TW, if you want to be nice, I'm sure there'll be plenty of spilled soda and alcohol later to sip on. Miss Esmerelda, can I offer you some refreshments?


Priestess of Calistria wrote:

Smiles at the matronly kobold

Thank you Esmarelda. TW, if you want to be nice, I'm sure there'll be plenty of spilled soda and alcohol later to sip on. Miss Esmerelda, can I offer you some refreshments?

Nah, Ah don't have any tahm. Thenks anyways, deary.

*Teleports out*


*wanders in.*
Wow, this is quite the place you have here. JH seems to be unconscious again, so I thought I'd go for a walk to have something to do while I wait for KC to tell me what he's got planned. He says he's found something that could help, but *shrug* I'm having a hard time believing that anything could work. I hope I'm wrong. And I really hope JH is going to be okay. So, would you mind if I hung out on the beach here while I wait?


The goddess gets her mount settled in after her encounter with her aggressive cousin

There there girl, it's OK.

The large wasp buzzes irritably, but soon flies up to the crystal hive to rest. The priestess takes a quick saunter over to the pool, strips down and does fifty laps in a row. Climbing out refreshed, she mixes herself a Stinger and grabs the latest Nora Roberts book off the bar. She drapes a large fluffy towel on a nearby chaise lounge chair and spreads some lotion on her creamy flesh and commences to get some serious tanning in.

AHHH .... Now this is living She sighs


Just as the priestess settles down, Lynora-Jill walks in

SWEETIE! Come in come in!

She slips a yellow-black striped sundress over her head and gets up to hug Lynora

Please have a drink! So what do you think? Not too shabby huh?

...

Is something wrong with JH? He seemed fine yesterday ..


Priestess of Calistria wrote:

Just as the priestess settles down, Lynora-Jill walks in

SWEETIE! Come in come in!

She slips a yellow-black striped sundress over her head and gets up to hug Lynora

Please have a drink! So what do you think? Not too shabby huh?

...

Is something wrong with JH? He seemed fine yesterday ..

He's come down with a bad case of magical runes. I think it was something evil me did to him, but I don't know for sure. I don't remember anything she does while she has her turn with our body.

And yes, it's a beautiful place. I'm really impressed.


The priestess smiles wickedly and hands Lynora-Jill a salt-encrusted Margarita.

I'm glad you like it! I stole the monkey's staff this morning and came out here to create it. Can you imagine he pulled me from my temple, had me hostess a party for him and then was going to just send me back? I don't think so. The Interthereal Sea has fantastic creative properties ...

Looks concerned on hearing about JH

Well, I can always try to commune with Calistria to see if there is anything I can find out. Can you bring him over here by any chance? Being the creator of this thread I have certain enhancements to my power here.

The priestess fixes a vegetable dip tray and places it between the two

You know, I really need some domestic staff about here ...


Right now he's passed out cold, and much too heavy for me to carry, but I'll try to get him to come here after he wakes up. It shouldn't be too difficult.

As for domestic staff...
*pulls out cell phone and dials.*
Hello, Acme? Uh-huh. Yeah, I need some domestic staff...uh-huh, yes that should be sufficient. Yep, charge it to the Jacks. Thanks ever so.
*puts phone away.*
They'll be here in a minute.


*An Acme truck pulls up and unloads a large crate. They open the crate and a robot wheels out. The truck drives away.*

How may I serve you mistress?


The priestess brightens

Excellent! I must say MJ's servant is a great waiter and batsman, Acme makes a good robot!

Pulls out her iPhone

Let me call around and get some folks over for my housewarming!

starts dialing


Puts cell phone down.

WOW! Those Acme folks are fast!

Looks at Rosie

How about getting some hors d'oeuvres going there. The kitchen is fully stocked.


*Whizzes off to the kitchens to prepare for the party.*


The preistess hugs Lynora-Jill

Thanks Lyn! Now to get my favorite DJ over here ..

Resumes dialing

Grand Lodge

Pops in for a quick look around.

"Did I hear something about a party? Ale and babes?"


Smiles at the blue-skinned dwarf

You betcha! Ale women, and hopefully a fiendish dryad or two ..


Speaking of fiendish dryads, I have a call to make. Make yourself at home Mr. Krome! There's a bottle of 500-year-old Morian Scotch behind the bar if you like that, or there's a few different dwarvish ales on tap at the bar as well.

Begins dialing again


*casts summon party dress. The white minidress appears in her hands.*

A party deserves the appropriate dress I think. Is there somewhere I can change?


A small raised stone patio to the side of the pool shimmers briefly. A large circular portal snaps into being. Evil Monkey, flanked by his two favorite arm ornaments Viper the fiendish dryad and Seralia the succubus appears from the portal. The large ape is dressed in early bohunk: an open necked butterfly-collared shirt with a Mr. T starter kit nestled in his hairy chest. Flare-cuffed pants and some Italian loafers deck his lower half. The two girls are dressed in spandex, if you can call it dressed. A group of two-headed flying tribble monkeys and a crowd of various fiendish demons, succubi, nymphs, dryads and lamias follow behind

HAY HAY! MONKEY IN THE HIZOUSE!

The group begins wandering into the club.


lynora-Jill wrote:

*casts summon party dress. The white minidress appears in her hands.*

A party deserves the appropriate dress I think. Is there somewhere I can change?

The priestess hands Lynora-Jill an ornate key

Here's a key for the changing area in the pool cabana.

Leans in and whispers

I have it shielded from scry spells and other *ahem* intrusive stuff.


Priestess of Calistria wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

*casts summon party dress. The white minidress appears in her hands.*

A party deserves the appropriate dress I think. Is there somewhere I can change?

The priestess hands Lynora-Jill an ornate key

Here's a key for the changing area in the pool cabana.

Leans in and whispers

I have it shielded from scry spells and other *ahem* intrusive stuff.

Thanks.

lynora-Jill heads off to change. After all there's nothing like a good party to take your mind off your troubles. And it was her duty as a Jill to have a good time. It was in the bylaws.


*Zips around the party guests with a tray of delectable hor d'oevres.*

Care for a bite to eat?


A golem riding a Harley thunders into the parking lot of the club. He debarks, grabs a box full of vinyl records and walks towards the club. His Harley transforms into a Fifties-style retro-futurist robot and follows behind.

Hey! How you all doing?

Grabs an appetizer from Rosie's tray

OOOhhh shrimp puffs!

ACME!

Help the lady robot out would'ja?


Right away sir!

Zips to the bar and begins to mix up the drinks for the partyguests


Malice gets his DJ rig set up at the booth under a thatched cabana

The priestess heads out to the changing cabana and returns in a racy deep-frinted pale green evening gown slashed to the hip. Her signature whip still riding the silk-clad curve.


Lynora-Jill also emerges from the cabana in her white mini-dress.

Sweet! Malice Jack is here. Time to start the dancing.


Malice plops a disc on the turntables and fires the rig up. He grabs the mike and calls to the crowd:

Here's a little tune for the spoonbenders out there. Remember, there IS no spoon ..

A sly snarky electronic song beats out of the speakers. Viper and Seralia begin to dance on the wide parquet dancefloor by the DJ booth. A lamia and a maralith begin an intricate faux judo dance with each other to the side.


*Heads out onto the dance floor.*


The crowd on the dance floor swirls with a melange of beings: Fiends, celestials, elves, humans and even a few animals and trees join in the dancing. The tables beyond the dance floor are packed with laughing groups downing half-a-hundred different cocktails. Rosie and Acme are a blur as they try to keep up with the demand.

The priestess comes out onto the dancefloor and keeps Lynora-Jill company, dancing sinously to the pounding music

I wonder where the jacks are tonight? She yells over the beat.


Priestess of Calistria wrote:

The crowd on the dance floor swirls with a melange of beings: Fiends, celestials, elves, humans and even a few animals and trees join in the dancing. The tables beyond the dance floor are packed with laughing groups downing half-a-hundred different cocktails. Rosie and Acme are a blur as they try to keep up with the demand.

The priestess comes out onto the dancefloor and keeps Lynora-Jill company, dancing sinously to the beat

I wonder where the jacks are tonight? She yells over the beat.

I have no idea she yells back. It's not like the Jacks to miss a party.

I'm going to go check on them. Be right back.


The priestess nods

There's a omniportal right over there on the stone patio by the pool .. The key to the Jack's clubhouse is a beer!


Malice keeps up a string of electronic beats pumping out over the sweaty jumping crowd.


The phone rings. Lynora-Jill is on the other end.

Hi, Priestess of Calistria? Hey, I'm really sorry, but it looks like I won't be back to the party for a while. The kobold dug up some magical ritual that supposedly will rid me of the goddess. It probably won't work, but I can't afford not to take the chance. I hope you have a good time. I really wish I could be there. Bye now.


The priestess yells over the music

No worries Lyn! Stop by and tell me all the juicy bits when you are done!

hangs up phone and starts to dance with a cambion decked out in full club kid kit


The party has raged on, growing rowdier as the night progresses. The priestess takes a breather and heads to the powder room. Staring at the large mirror she frowns.

I wonder how Lynora is doing? She wonders to herself

Casting a quick scry spell, she sees the fierce battle occuring around Lynora.

OH NO!

Concentrating she reaches out her hand and the staff she created her thread with materializes in it. She points it at the scrying mirror.

POTENTIA PRAECEDO AUXILIUM!!!

A blast of greenish power strikes the mirror from the staff


*Enters main area*
*Looks around and then joins in the dancing*


Lynora-Jill and Jack Hammer step through the portal into the party in full swing. She leads him out onto the dance floor and proceeds to have a good time. She practically sparkles with happiness.


lynora-Jill wrote:
Lynora-Jill and Jack Hammer step through the portal into the party in full swing. She leads him out onto the dance floor and proceeds to have a good time. She practically sparkles with happiness.

*watches Lynora-Jill and Jack Hammer*

What happy people they have here.


*steps through the portal and arrives at the party* Well, that was heck of an adventure. I can't believe KC sacrificed himself for Lynora. Maybe I had him pegged wrong. *Pops open a beer* This is for you KC, wherever you might be.


After a long night of drinking and dancing, the crowd begins to disperse. The fiends and celestials begin to port out to their respective planes of existence. Those too drunk to teleport crash in the many bedrooms in the main house.

The priestess walks around, her green party dress a bit disheveled and her strawberry blonde hair a bit mussed. She notes the sleeping form of Evil Monkey on a large floating chair in the pool snoring thunderously. Another strain of thunderous snoring issues from under the DJ booth. Acme and Rosie, both still running at full tilt, are starting to get a handle on the piles of trash the planar ravers have left behind.

She casts her eyes to the window of the guestroom where she had sent off Lynora and JH. She waves her hand and the drapes shut. The sun was going to be up soon and they had had an exhausting night.

A sudden shimmering catches her attention. A small monkey snaps into focus. He looks up at the priestess.

I am quite miffed at you young lady.

She smiles, and pets his furry head

When you invest energy into me, don't expect you can just put me back and have everything as before. I like these people, and I want to have some fun with them. Is that so wrong? I think I have done my part these past two days, especially when you were in your snit.

The monkey frowns, not liking to be reminded of his anger.

You realize that you are merely a creation of mine. He grumbles

The priestess grins wickedly

We are all creations of something monkeyboy. Who are you to say I am somehow lesser because you dreamed me up? By creating me and letting me interact with others you have emancipated me from yourself. I am my own being now, and you can just deal with it.

The monkey looks discomfitted

Well, aside from chopping my fingers off in the higher realm I guess you will have to stay. He manages with ill grace

The priestess grins wider

The monkey puts his small wrinkly paw out

I will be retreiving my staff though. It was bad enough you made this thread, but sending a huge part of my reserves to KC?

The priestess looks sternly at the monkey

That was to help Lynora-Jill and JackHammer, my new friends. KC needed that power more than you. Besides you don't have any more issues with KC, right? It's not like I ruined your precious staff. Here ..

The priestess waves her hand and the small staff with the large glowing green crystal appears. She hands it off to the monkey.

There.

The monkey grabs the staff and turns to go. The priestess yells at his back:

HEY! While you are here, can I get a first name? You made with with a title for Calistria's sake!

The monkey turns and sighs

Very well. You shall henceforth be called ... ALAINA

The monkey waves his staff and vanishes

The priestess sits and ponders.

Alaina ..hmm ..not too bad, not very wicked sounding, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.

Alaina, priestess of Calistria, walks back to her club.


Alaina preens naked in front of the full-length mirror in her palatial penthouse suite.

That monkey may be a grouch, but he sure knows how to set a girl up!

She twirls, admiring her new hair color which has deepened into a flaming reddish blonde. She runs a hand along her much deeper skin tone.

My my my. I can't wait to show Lyn! I hope all that fuss last night will keep her goddess rider at bay....

Alaina slips into a black silk negligee and dives under the yellow-black-striped satin sheets of her king-size bed.

Ahhhhhh.....


Jack Hammer awakens to find the priestess by his side. He wonders if he is still dreaming. So many of his memories of the last couple of days seem like dreams. So many are missing.

Is this real? Am I in control of my own body anymore? Was I ever? Perhaps I need a few beers...Maybe a thief or a peasant will stop by the Clubhouse...or a good raid opportunity will present itself.

He smiles at the priestess as she sleeps. She looks exhausted. He remembers why, and smiles more widely.

He sneaks out of the room...

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