Let's Straighten This Out...


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So, there are many different cults in the world of Paizo Threads. Representatives of each cult please step forward, so that we may get some order in this whole business.


There are the Smurfs


I myself am the head clone of a certain cult of hero-worshipping poodles.


Der be da froggy cult.


We are the Jack. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated


And there is the newly created Dretch cult.

The Exchange

Crimson Crime, aka the new Thieve's Guild.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

As the only one worthy of having a cult, let's just cut to the chase. The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards. All other cults are merely crappy pyramid schemes designed to swipe money from innocent folk. They are not eligible to receive tax write-offs or recognized as actual cults. In addition, members of such so-called cults are liable to be jailed should they ever travel to Germany.

So, to recap: Cult of Sebastian, FTW.

All other "cults": Losers.


Be vewwy vewwy quiet .... I'm hunting Obewoni Fawwacies ..

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Scarab Sages

Sebastian wrote:

As the only one worthy of having a cult, let's just cut to the chase. The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards. All other cults are merely crappy pyramid schemes designed to swipe money from innocent folk. They are not eligible to receive tax write-offs or recognized as actual cults. In addition, members of such so-called cults are liable to be jailed should they ever travel to Germany.

So, to recap: Cult of Sebastian, FTW.

All other "cults": Losers.

Man, when's the next comet coming by?


Sebastian wrote:

So, to recap: Cult of Sebastian, FTW.

All other "cults": Losers.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes....

Sczarni

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure, Companion, Lost Omens Subscriber

The cult of "Hey I want to be a customer service person too!"


Me and Starpanda in our Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters


I'm on the same cult of the Dread Poodle Lord. ou wouldn't have guesses huh!


I'm on Jacks Paizo Beta Frathouse! Party on!


Tch. All zis talk of cults. My friends you shouldn't turn to cults for affirmation. Find your inner strengths and do not follow ze herd. Cults are chust an example of a charismatic person azzuming control over weaker individuals. Zis is not healthy behavior.


Deadline Monster wrote:
Me and Starpanda in our Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters

Thier loss brother, THEIR LOSS !


Sebastian wrote:
The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards.

Oh really?


Come to think of it... Could this be a thread trap to snare us all cultists and delete us from the borads?!?!

Naaaaaaaaah they wouldn't think of it...

*Pops a six pack of Tecate beer and starts passing it around*


Alrighty, so there is....
1. Poodles
2. Smurfs
3. Frogs
4. Thieves Guild
5. Cult of Sebastian
6. Angry Jack Cult
7. Customer Service wannabes
8. Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters


Damn it, the smurf is pointing to the Poodle Cult!

EDIT: Better now


Monas of the boards assemble!


Frat Jack wrote:
Come to think of it... Could this be a thread trap to snare us all cultists and delete us from the boards?

Ummm... no.. Why would you say that?

EDIT: 9. Mona Cult?


Don't forget the logic folks! We need logic or our game will be full of fail!

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!


10. Logical Cult

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sebastian wrote:

As the only one worthy of having a cult, let's just cut to the chase. The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards. All other cults are merely crappy pyramid schemes designed to swipe money from innocent folk. They are not eligible to receive tax write-offs or recognized as actual cults. In addition, members of such so-called cults are liable to be jailed should they ever travel to Germany.

So, to recap: Cult of Sebastian, FTW.

All other "cults": Losers.

Psh, the old guard still cling to their vanished glory.

Make way for the new wave, fossil!

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Mothmona wrote:
Sebastian wrote:
The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards.
Oh really?

You forget - I started that cult too. Erik Mona was just a front for it, sorta like the Ebon Triad.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Joey Lafyatis wrote:

Alrighty, so there is....

1. The Cult of Sebastian

And a bunch of posers, including:

1. Poodles
2. Smurfs
3. Frogs
4. Thieves Guild
5. Angry Jack Cult
6. Customer Service wannabes
7. Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters

Fixed that for you.


Thanks :P

Dark Archive

Anyone posting to claim membership in a 'Cult of Set' is lying.

The reasons are threefold;

1) Devotion to Set is not a 'cult,' but an established religion with roots going back 3000 years.

2) Devotees to Set are not allowed to waste time on the computer, being entirely too busy erecting magnificent towering monuments to Set's glory.*

3) Set's devoted drink only beer, and would not be able to see a screen by this point in the evening, let alone operate a keyboard.

*No Doktor CracknFraud, Set is not 'compensating for something.' Every building in the world is actually compensating for not being Set.


Sebastian wrote:
Joey Lafyatis wrote:

Alrighty, so there is....

1. The Cult of Sebastian

And a bunch of posers, including:

1. Poodles
2. $murfs
3. Frogs
4. Thieves Guild
5. Angry Jack Cult
6. Customer Service wannabes
7. Cult of Two Lonely Unloved Monsters

Fixed that for you.

HEY! Don't forget me! I'm the smartest cultist in the room!

you %$$-munching &%*-licking &^&-sniffing jerk.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!


11. Set (that's it)
12. New Dretch (forgot my own cult!)


Logic_Elmer wrote:

HEY! Don't forget me! I'm the smartest cultist in the room!

you %$$-munching &%*-licking &^&-sniffing jerk.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This got out of hand quickly...


Set wrote:


*No Doktor CracknFraud, Set is not 'compensating for something.' Every building in the world is actually compensating for not being Set.

I find it verrrry interesting that you needed to qualify zis before I had a chance to query you. Verrry interesting ...

Scribbles notes in a small pad

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sebastian wrote:

As the only one worthy of having a cult, let's just cut to the chase. The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards. All other cults are merely crappy pyramid schemes designed to swipe money from innocent folk. They are not eligible to receive tax write-offs or recognized as actual cults. In addition, members of such so-called cults are liable to be jailed should they ever travel to Germany.

So, to recap: Cult of Sebastian, FTW.

All other "cults": Losers.

Very well my lord shall I round up the rest of these miscreants and have them begin work on a 200ft solid gold staue crafted in your image?

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Kevin Mack wrote:


Very well my lord shall I round up the rest of these miscreants and have them begin work on a 200ft solid gold staue crafted in your image?

200ft?!?! I want that thing to be visible from orbit.

And don't spare the whip.

Dark Archive

Sebastian wrote:
Kevin Mack wrote:


Very well my lord shall I round up the rest of these miscreants and have them begin work on a 200ft solid gold staue crafted in your image?

200ft?!?! I want that thing to be visible from orbit.

Ah, so it is to be life-sized.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sebastian wrote:


200ft?!?! I want that thing to be visible from orbit.

And don't spare the whip.

As you wish my lord *Breaks out the cat-o-nine tails*


HEY! Gimmie my whip back! I need that for midnight Mass!


Hey! I need some minions! I want a huge dretch statue. with robot controls, to destroy any other competing golden statues!


My flock, do not turn to false prophets! Only the True Word of the Lord Cheezus can bring you into salvation and fill you stomach with a 3.99 Savior Meal™!

Cast off your slavish devotion to poodles, smurfs, and ugly ponies and come to you local Church and Munch™ today! Wednesdays we have a two-for-one special on tickets to to our Smite the Heretic™ Family Funpark on our corporate planet of New Vatican!


13. True Word of the Lord Cheezus

(I don't know guys... this one sounds kinda wierd... whatever, anything exists in Paizoland.)

Scarab Sages

Destroy Sebastian! Kill the Grand Poohbah! Eliminate even the toughest stains!


14. Moff Rimmer's Destructive Cult.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sebastian wrote:
Mothmona wrote:
Sebastian wrote:
The Cult of Sebastian is the only official, recognized cult on the Paizo boards.
Oh really?
You forget - I started that cult too. Erik Mona was just a front for it, sorta like the Ebon Triad.

Actually I knew you started Erik Mona Day ... but I never realised it was a front for the Cult of Sebastian. Insidious.

Oh my gods ... when we celebrate Erik Mona Day, we channel all that devotional energy to you, don't we? Oh, the horror... what have we done?


Joey Lafyatis wrote:

13. True Word of the Lord Cheezus

(I don't know guys... this one sounds kinda wierd... whatever, anything exists in Paizoland.)

Actually it is the One True and Apostolic Church of The Reformed Two All Beef Patties Special Sauce Lettuce Cheese Pickles Onions on a Sesame Seed Bun™ . That was too hard for the parishoners to remember, so in Our mercy We have shortened it to Church and Munch™


13. (revised) One True and Apostolic Church of The Reformed Two All Beef Patties Special Sauce Lettuce Cheese Pickles Onions on a Sesame Seed Bun, OR aka Church and Munch™


I am being Darren Al-Tei of the Eastern Branch of the Greater Poodle Lords.

Scarab Sages

Joey Lafyatis wrote:
14. Moff Rimmer's Destructive Cult.

Either that or a Cult of Personality...


14.(revised) Moff Rimmers Destructive Cult of Personality.

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