Lord of All Insects's page

I wanted to clear up some misconceptions buzzing around the web, as it were.

First of all, we only target criminals. Y'know, murderers, tax collectors, and the criminally delicious. It's why we look so hideous, to strike fear into the hearts of wrongdoers. So, despite the reputation, we're actually bene...

Oh, excuse me, that elf throwing flowers on the ground is littering.

<flies off>

Sir or madam, you have been found guilty of deliciously littering. I'm afraid I must sting you now.

YOU! YOU MUST KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

Come children, they shall now fear the night.

The next poster sells roach motels.

Bravo! Best rants in the last 40 days.

My flower garden! How am I suppossed to make honey this spring?

The next poster will explain where my gardening tools went.

I'm gonna do something old school and design a large 3' x 3' mutant strain of Bed Bug for Gamma World. Feeling Old school this week and I don't know why.

The bugs worship Cosmo until he invented the bug zapper. It's not that we blame him, but rather technological progress.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Skyrim was once the land of many butterflies. Now, not so much.

They missed the babies and their eggs. That and Nords aren't know for entomology.

You guys know that spiders aren't insects, right?

The hive does not tolerate heresy.

An Unnatural in the Hive, attack my minions!

Mistress? Darling? IS that you?

Plenty to egg. I better go tell the boys we got our work cut out for us.

You're hopelessly outnumbered, surrender now or be consumed.

My goblin brethren and I look forward to the replacement of pinkskins by ravenous, swarming insects as the top dog on this planetary food chain. We get along pretty well with vermin.

Except for spiders who find goblins quite tasty.

Wonder woman pulls out a fly swatter and goes to town on you all.

The Locusts will descend on Paradise Island and consume all they see.

By then it will be too late.

Just like old biblical times

We know control one city. Tomorrow we control the world

Breed my minions, breed in great numbers

::: Shrieks in fear:::

All hail the Eldritch Mr. Shiny!

I'm bringing the noisy neighbors

Sorry yall. I'm goin' back to Louisiana. Gotta Saints game to watch.

Zeb! Get over here before the hillbillies do sumtin stoopid. Now git in the box so I cans take ya back to de lab.

It'd be great if Moorluck could come in here and fumigate these bugs. This place would be a great spot for the Jacks to build another clubhouse.

You can't kill all of us. We live in the wood and the pipes too. Besides we have beer.

Ah, 44 posts and rising. Breed my minions breed and will shall overrun the forum boards.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE LORD OF ALL INSECTS

Just a reminder that sharp objects and projectile weapons will not be tolerated within the cult. Any infraction of cult policy will result in a trip to the Black Widow. And you don't want to see her.

The Lord hath given! Thou shalt not take away!

Runs through thread, quickly stuffing flying snacks into his mouth.

The Lord of All Insects quickly summons to large bouncers and ejects St. John from the thread.

"...and stop eating my friends."

Don't know much about saints do ya, Lord of the Flies?

Continues feasting on clean insects.

Hey, anybody got any honey?

That's "All Insects", and I'm Baptist, if the truth must be said. St. John is escorted out the door for his crime against the insect kingdoms.

WOW! Another 24 hr All-You-Can-Eat!

NOM NOM NOM!

The maggots will get to your head and corpse soon sonny. Now where is Blood Sample?

You know us bugs and sugar.

SUGAR! I WANT COOKIES NOW!!!!!

D+ in Algebra!! Its completely transferable and a PASS!!! YAYYYY!!!

Beat ya, A got a C-

Oh yes, the Bug Cult thread is officially open. Come one, come all, come as a bug.

Awww, a bug cult!

::Scratches his thorax and preens his antennae.::

I was hoping you would show up. Remember, all bugs are equal on this thread. No acts of violence or comsumption are allowed.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

No. We're into eco-terrorism.

Can I join? {hops up and down excitedly} I'm 1/2 wolf spider and 1/2 chuul... does that make me sufficently bug-like?

You can climb aboard! Heck I'd take you if you wear a high priestess of Lolth. Today the corn fields of Nebraska, tomorrow we march and devour the Redwoods of California.

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

The fee will be High to match the danger of this Run. Any supplies you need can be gotten from us through your Fixer. I need an answer soon.

No. We're into eco-terrorism.

Insects of the world, you finally have a thread to call your own.

Come one, come all, bring the kids, discuss topics that concern bugs and insects alone.

No fumigation.

Driders allowed.

You are new here, aren't you? Or maybe confused by the whole metric to Jack Imperial Units thingie. You aren't phrasing your question correctly:

"A Jack drank three kegs from a six pack and had three more kegs left on the pallet. How many more should he get and how many more can he drink?"

Being a Jack, he can drink as many as he pleases. So your questions are pointless.

BTW, you know that Slaadi are distantly related to frogs, right? {licks lips at the talking snack}

That's it, we're leaving. Scoops up Noisy Cricket Let's get away from the Slaads and Jacks and Keggers.

Walks out the door

Noisy_Cricket wrote:

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

Obi-Jack wrote:

How many days between the bosses' birthday and the 17th? The celebration could last longer than a day. Fortnight? Nah, it's longer than that. Someone make math.

Jacks don't do math.

They should! ::Churp::

*lifts leg* *SQUISH!!!* Damn bugs are bad this time of year.

Oh, for the love of God, I wish you didn't do that. He was a friend of mine.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

Cyber Dragonborn wrote:

While no sign of what grabbed the missing dromite can be found, deep scratches in the floor can be discovered 100 yards away.

The two remaining dromites continue to survey the area. One touchs the floor and the interior of the Sanctum is alight brightly. The Lord of All Insects jumps back into spacial view. He motions a triangle shape gesture with his fingers to the dromites. The dromites nod and follow him approximately 100 yards.

Sensory link - visual, audio, and tactile and short-term memory enhancement

High above them, shrouded in darkness, a metal dragon moves silently from pillar to pillar. Padding and powerful suction cups on it's claws allow this to be possible. It begins to follow the dromites and Lord of All Insects...

Right now only Suuny could see it, and only if he thinks to look up. LoAI might hear it though, what with his increased senses.

Tapping the vast arsenal of weapons that is the insect kingdom, the Lord of All Insects grins. His senses magify to an astonishing degree, including scent and taste. His chitinous exterior thickens to that of a giant tick and turns crimson red. He motions the dromites to stand clear.

While no sign of what grabbed the missing dromite can be found, deep scratches in the floor can be discovered 100 yards away.

The two remaining dromites continue to survey the area. One touchs the floor and the interior of the Sanctum is alight brightly. The Lord of All Insects jumps back into spacial view. He motions a triangle shape gesture with his fingers to the dromites. The dromites nod and follow him approximately 100 yards.

Sensory link - visual, audio, and tactile and short-term memory enhancement

Lord of All Insects wrote:

The dromites begin to chitter amongst themselves. At first, it wasn't the nolise of scrapping metal, it was the vibration it produced that alerted them to potential danger. Silent as the grave, their eyes flash in union and a message is sent to someone else in the Sanctum. The other two prepare a make-shift defense.

Precognition

"Defend yourselves," utters the Lord of All Insects, his eyes flash brigthly.

As the dromites begin to make their defense, one turns away to grab something needed. When it(he/she?) turns back, the other dromite is gone.

The other Dromites squeal in unexpected terror and suddenly flare with a strong bright light. The Lord of All Insects grits his chitinous teeth in anticipation. Chitinous blades extract from his foreamrs. Then suddenly his body blurs out of existance slightly.

Ready when you are Lord of All Insects!

Slowly the clicking stops and silence falls in the halls of the Sanctum. The lack of sound begins to unnerve the dromites.

The dromites begin to chitter amongst themselves. At first, it wasn't the nolise of scrapping metal, it was the vibration it produced that alerted them to potential danger. Silent as the grave, their eyes flash in union and a message is sent to someone else in the Sanctum. The other two prepare a make-shift defense.

Prcognition

"Defend yourselves," utters the Lord of All Insects, his eyes flash brigthly.

Time to bring in some heavy metal...

From deep within the Sanctum's most secure.. er, sanctum, a dragon unfurls with the sound of metal sliding on metal. Slowly this metallic dragon moves toward the Sanctum's main area.

"Come on, I thought I heard a noise, like scrappng metal. LEt's check it out."

With three other dromites, the Lord of All Insect proceed cautiously to the source of the noise.

The dwarven lord of a mountain stronghold, with his retinue of half a dozen guards in mithral plate, wanders the tables of the casino, spending his gold and socialising with the various guests.

He approaches the Dwarven Lord and his retinue.

"Compliments of the House Sir. Four waiters each carrying serving trays topped with tankards and flagons of the house's strongest dwarven brew. If you need anything else, call me."

Mmmmm.......brainnnssss

"Sorry sir, we're fresh out of them. However I can rustle up from intestine from the pantry if you would like them."

Bars over there. Man I need some staff! Where's that cute Lord of all Insects?

Here I am! :::Waves:::

I left the wife and kids at the oasis. I think they buried the Dalesman up to his neck in sand. :::Grins:::

Got my health cards and cooking permits in order so I'm off to the kitchen. But you should check the upper floors. We have our own rooms with HD flat screen Televisions, satelite channels and radio, and internet access. There's even day care for the five grubs when the misses feels the need to get away from the kids.

Hey everybody. I was ushered to the Oasis by Sunny Godhead. He's taken me on his temple's new chef. With the way the economy is running, I need need a job and cash to feed my wives and children.