The Angry Jack Cult


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Blood_Sample wrote:
A giant insect lands on a keg and punctures it with his hard snout. He drinks deeply but forget his alcohol tolerance level. Dizzy, he quickly flies into the nearest wall before scaling it and disappearing into a hidey hole.

Who needs a fumigator? Not us!

*Backs up to the hole the overlarge mosquito scuttled into and...*

BLUMPH!

Oh! That one was lumpy!


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
I think we need to hire those frogs from the frog pond to get rid of these mosquitoes.
Get the tennis rackets!

Good idea! *Gets tennis racket and starts swinging at the mosquitoes*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
I think we need to hire those frogs from the frog pond to get rid of these mosquitoes.
Get the tennis rackets!
Good idea! *Gets tennis racket and starts swinging at the mosquitoes*

Maybe I can serve up another one. *tightens stomach muscles*

Dark Archive

Is anyone else looking forward to the return of sub-races? In particular I can't wait for Pathfinder versions of disco elves nd stripclub elves.


David Fryer wrote:
Is anyone else looking forward to the return of sub-races? In particular I can't wait for Pathfinder versions of disco elves nd stripclub elves.

I like that half-elf figure in the races section. RAWR! Good things bode for the sub-races methinks. Mehopes?

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
I think we need to hire those frogs from the frog pond to get rid of these mosquitoes.
Get the tennis rackets!
Good idea! *Gets tennis racket and starts swinging at the mosquitoes*
Maybe I can serve up another one. *tightens stomach muscles*

[Spaceballs] Agh! Jack Hammer! He's gone from suck to blow!![/Spaceballs]

Dark Archive

Jack Hammer wrote:
David Fryer wrote:
Is anyone else looking forward to the return of sub-races? In particular I can't wait for Pathfinder versions of disco elves nd stripclub elves.
I like that half-elf figure in the races section. RAWR! Good things bode for the sub-races methinks. Mehopes?

Gah! That message was meant for the FaWTL thread.


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
I think we need to hire those frogs from the frog pond to get rid of these mosquitoes.
Get the tennis rackets!
Good idea! *Gets tennis racket and starts swinging at the mosquitoes*
Maybe I can serve up another one. *tightens stomach muscles*
[Spaceballs] Agh! Jack Hammer! He's gone from suck to blow!![/Spaceballs]

[Rocketman]We're detecting elevated methane levels! Commander Overbeck is in distress! <pause> *snickering*[/Rocketman]


Jack Hammer wrote:
Blood_Sample wrote:
A giant insect lands on a keg and punctures it with his hard snout. He drinks deeply but forget his alcohol tolerance level. Dizzy, he quickly flies into the nearest wall before scaling it and disappearing into a hidey hole.

Who needs a fumigator? Not us!

*Backs up to the hole the overlarge mosquito scuttled into and...*

BLUMPH!

Oh! That one was lumpy!

Out from another hole, a giant insect buzzes past the back of Jack Hammer's head. JH and the other jacks are no much for it's speed and agility. It lands on another keg, wings flaring, daring the Jacks to strike at their one true possession.

It moves it head to the left then to the right. As a Jack approaches, it flares it wings, it hovers like a well armed assualt helicopter, and it darts past the Jacks and out the clubhouse.


None of the sub-cults have brought us offerings lately. Looks like we need another war.


Jack Hammer wrote:
None of the sub-cults have brought us offerings lately. Looks like we need another war.

I agree. Give us beer or we put our feet in your *****


Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

[scribble scribble scribble]

After several days of scribing notes, Devlyn decides to take a break and let his writing hand heal :P

He leaves a note for Amby and heads over to the Dark & Stormy Knight thread to get some eats.


Runs in and pees all over the place


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Runs in and pees all over the place

*&^%$@ poodles! *Punts*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Runs in and pees all over the place
*&^%$@ poodles! *Punts*

This all started when Hungry Jack started feeding them. Now we can't get rid of 'em!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
None of the sub-cults have brought us offerings lately. Looks like we need another war.

Hmmm... the Slaads are gone, so are the thieves, Sebastian has surrendered... who's left?


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
None of the sub-cults have brought us offerings lately. Looks like we need another war.
Hmmm... the Slaads are gone, so are the thieves, Sebastian has surrendered... who's left?

A Holy War against the Celestials? Nah, they'll just surrender right away.

Attack that baker dude's cult? Probably won't get a rise out of him.

Man, we have to something about the diminishing returns on domination. No more challenges.


We could raid the zombies. However, I don't think we would want anything that they have.

Scarab Sages

shuffles in looking for brainnnnssss.

shuffles back out, extremely disappointed.


Dinner Rolls. Dinner Rolls, Don't forget the Dinner Rolls this Labor Day Weekend. Oh, and Puffy's new beer. I almost forgot abou that one. Its cheap and gives lots of gas.


Blood_Sample wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Blood_Sample wrote:
A giant insect lands on a keg and punctures it with his hard snout. He drinks deeply but forget his alcohol tolerance level. Dizzy, he quickly flies into the nearest wall before scaling it and disappearing into a hidey hole.

Who needs a fumigator? Not us!

*Backs up to the hole the overlarge mosquito scuttled into and...*

BLUMPH!

Oh! That one was lumpy!

Out from another hole, a giant insect buzzes past the back of Jack Hammer's head. JH and the other jacks are no much for it's speed and agility. It lands on another keg, wings flaring, daring the Jacks to strike at their one true possession.

It moves it head to the left then to the right. As a Jack approaches, it flares it wings, it hovers like a well armed assualt helicopter, and it darts past the Jacks and out the clubhouse.

Damn it! Where'd that idiot go?! *Flies in, carrying tiny cannon strapped to his belly*


I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:


Hmmm..Bug Cult. Wonder if they have anything worth raiding them for.


Sounds like the Bug Cult doesn't have anything for us.

Nachos and beer time! T-Rex steaks on the bbq!


Jack Hammer wrote:


Nachos and beer time! T-Rex steaks on the bbq!

*drools* *sits and begs for scraps*


Jack Hammer wrote:

Sounds like the Bug Cult doesn't have anything for us.

Nachos and beer time! T-Rex steaks on the bbq!

Both the Bugs and the Zombie cults have nothing for us to raid. I remember

when we use to raid the thieves and the knights for riches and sustenance. I feel sorry for the younger Jacks because they never got to experience the joys of crushing our enemies into the ground. *sheds a tear for the old days*


Sorry i've been a way so long. Have we officially taken over yet?


DJ Jack wrote:
Sorry i've been a way so long. Have we officially taken over yet?

Yep, only wussy cults remain.

*cries in his beer with JRHM over the good old days, and half-heartedly tries to kick the begging poodle and misses*


Jack Hammer wrote:
DJ Jack wrote:
Sorry i've been a way so long. Have we officially taken over yet?

Yep, only wussy cults remain.

*cries in his beer with JRHM over the good old days, and half-heartedly tries to kick the begging poodle and misses*

Is Paizo considered a cult? Can we take over that? What ever happened to the Sun God dude? Or the Frogs?


DJ Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
DJ Jack wrote:
Sorry i've been a way so long. Have we officially taken over yet?

Yep, only wussy cults remain.

*cries in his beer with JRHM over the good old days, and half-heartedly tries to kick the begging poodle and misses*

Is Paizo considered a cult? Can we take over that? What ever happened to the Sun God dude? Or the Frogs?

The frogs have been quiet. Sunny Godhead? Well, after you guys stole his high priestess and converted her into a Jill he stopped hosting parties. He does have a new priestess though and she sometimes shows up for the parties in the Dark&Stormy Knights thread.

Seriously guys, I think you may have run out of things to take over.

Liberty's Edge

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Sounds like the Bug Cult doesn't have anything for us.

Nachos and beer time! T-Rex steaks on the bbq!

Both the Bugs and the Zombie cults have nothing for us to raid. I remember

when we use to raid the thieves and the knights for riches and sustenance. I feel sorry for the younger Jacks because they never got to experience the joys of crushing our enemies into the ground. *sheds a tear for the old days*

Don't we have any good food, or are we too powerful for you?


lynora-Jill wrote:
DJ Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
DJ Jack wrote:
Sorry i've been a way so long. Have we officially taken over yet?

Yep, only wussy cults remain.

*cries in his beer with JRHM over the good old days, and half-heartedly tries to kick the begging poodle and misses*

Is Paizo considered a cult? Can we take over that? What ever happened to the Sun God dude? Or the Frogs?

The frogs have been quiet. Sunny Godhead? Well, after you guys stole his high priestess and converted her into a Jill he stopped hosting parties. He does have a new priestess though and she sometimes shows up for the parties in the Dark&Stormy Knights thread.

Seriously guys, I think you may have run out of things to take over.

What if the Jacks were to split into two groups? Then we can try to take over ourselves... lol

Liberty's Edge

Y'all seen Jack B. Nimbul?


Fruit Slaad wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Sounds like the Bug Cult doesn't have anything for us.

Nachos and beer time! T-Rex steaks on the bbq!

Both the Bugs and the Zombie cults have nothing for us to raid. I remember

when we use to raid the thieves and the knights for riches and sustenance. I feel sorry for the younger Jacks because they never got to experience the joys of crushing our enemies into the ground. *sheds a tear for the old days*
Don't we have any good food, or are we too powerful for you?

We already kicked the slaad's butts, and it only took two of us. A Jack can only eat so many egg salad sandwiches, though the after-effects are fun.


Ambles in, several tourist stickers attached to his ceramic hide

Hey all, I just got back from my vacation punting European peasants! What's new?


Malice Jack wrote:

Ambles in, several tourist stickers attached to his ceramic hide

Hey all, I just got back from my vacation punting European peasants! What's new?

Where are our souvenirs?

Any good places to conquer there? We've run out of 'em here.


Tosses JH a bronze tropy of a boot

I got this while in England at the Lesser Umpton-on-Filth Annual Peasant Punting Championships. I beat out Lord FitzJacques in the overall peasant distance per punting. You can have it!


Malice Jack wrote:

Tosses JH a bronze tropy of a boot

I got this while in England at the Lesser Umpton-on-Filth Annual Peasant Punting Championships. I beat out Lord FitzJacques in the overall peasant distance per punting. You can have it!

Sweet! Thx! Can't wait to try it out, though peasants have been few and far between these days.

struggles trying to fit on the small boot

Hey! This is too small for my foot!

Maybe it's for poodle punting?


BURP!

Spoiler:
I'm a Jack of few words


Frat Jack wrote:

BURP!

** spoiler omitted **

And lots of chunks. Aim the other way next time!


What is that cloud of dust, moving towards the house on the horizon?


Obi-Jack wrote:
What is that cloud of dust, moving towards the house on the horizon?

No idea. Beer delivery?


As the dust draws near, it's apparent it is some kind of transport. When it stops, a robot exits the vehicle.

clicking, whirling, beeping

Greetings, Gentleman.

clicking, whirling, beeping


Greetings! Who are you?


clicking

whirling

For your convenience, I am monitored to respond to the name "Robby."


All right, Robby it is.

You thirsty from all that dust? Want a beer?


clicking

whirling

I seldom use it myself, sir. It promotes rust.


Robby the Robot wrote:

clicking

whirling

I seldom use it myself, sir. It promotes rust.

Well, what can we do for you then?


clicking

whirling

Will you get in, gentlemen?

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