The Next Poster...


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Despite that, I do admit that the way it dissolves makes clean-up a breeze.

The next poster is evidence.


I am evidence. I am prosecution. I am jury. I am judge. THERE IS NO DEFENSE. *GRAB*

The next poster will be the first not to run. The fool will instead stand before me and they will....

Silver Crusade

A REAL MAN HAS NO NEED TO RUN! UNLESS IT'S TOWARDS EVIL! HE SLASHES THROUGH ANYTHING IN HIS PATH, HIS SWORD CARVING A PATH TOWARD TOMORROW!

The next poster will be a true hero, and strike true against evil!

Scarab Sages

In the words of Nelson Mandela, "There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." I struck true against evil, now you can too!

The next poster will tell us about their harrowing adventures deep in the Elemental Plane of Ytterbium!


It was horrible... Ytterbium was bad... but I was so lucky I didn't end up in the planes of Erbium, Terbium or Yttrium.

The next poster will share a secret with us.

Dark Archive

I was burned at the stake, but I didn't perish. I became... something else ! In the hellish fires, I was reborn... THE TRUE LORD OF QUICHES !

The next poster is true to his words.


CANON!

The poster thinks highly of the Gods.


Did you know I'm one too?

The next poster knows a forbidden dance.


Hell yes, the fiendish polka 666.

The next poster is secretly envious of mr Quiche's quiche recipies.


Ah yes, the church will claim them as divine doctrine before your fiendish fingers and other devilish minions burn them to a crisp.

The next poster will donate to their favorite charity.


That's myself!

The next poster once kissed something and they liked it.


You are correct. A beautiful succubus servant.

The next poster will trade his soul for being king of the mushroom kingdom for a day.

Scarab Sages

But I never stipulated "king of WHAT," so in the absence of restriction to the contrary, I choose to be KING OF ALL COSMOS, and an hour before the end of that day, We shall use Our Cosmic Authority to order you, Puny Prince, to give our soul back - while we're at it, We will also order you to make us a nice, BIIIIG Katamari, *at least* 10 meters in radius!

The next poster understands what it's like to see High Pontiff of Canon's last post, think "hey, why not actually DO that?," try to actually donate a bunch of money to a genuinely worthy cause so they can come back and say, "well, I can think of too many good charities to have a 'favorite,' but this one's pretty good and I just gave what is, for me, a lot of money, now YOU can too!"...only to get tangled up in unexpected credit card difficulties for so long that you get ninja'ed by a tanuki.


Tanuki make great ninjas though that makes it difficult for them to wrangle a good credit score when they're constantly disappearing.

The next poster is the most fashionable ninja I've ever seen.


What can I say!? Made from virgin white pillsbury dough.

The next poster know the difference between pastries and carbohydrates.


Pastries are for pussies, while carbohydrates are for wussies. Real men (and gnomes) eat quiches.

The next poster is an artist. Maybe.


Writing is an art!

The next poster is going to tell us a secret.


Quite, the deities are having a day off this weekend. No worshiping during those days will he heard.

The next poster enjoys rock music.


Head banging retro-noise! And I slept with Sammy Hagar!

The next poster found Paradise Island and its Amazons, much to his regret.


The shipping . . . was not free.

The next poster knows what I meant by 'shipping'.


But that is classified.

The next poster used to work in a shelter for the poor in Varisia.

Scarab Sages

Clearly, nobody else wanted the job, so I had to take it, at least for a while - because at least I have a conscience, godsdammit!

The next poster's conscience manifests in a very different manner than the typical celestial on one shoulder and fiend on the other.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That could be what the cod with a sliderule is. Thank you, I never really understood it before.

The next poster needs a new target, yo!


Yea, dumping pigeon poo on the cars and trucks of Las Vegas gets really, uh i don't know..., complacent. I'd try more tourists, but they'd get angry at the amount of fertilizer I leave them.

The next poster knows a better way to feed the pigeons.


I roast them, and feed them to my invited guests.

The next poster was in a musical about Varisian brandy.


I saw the musical and he was head-or-heels drunk too.

The next poster can say what he pleases in front of the US Congress.


Unfortunately, I don't really have anything to say and any rantings I could give are probably what everyone is thinking anyway.

The next poster once, eurgh, cuddled with something I dare not name.


GRAAAAAGH!!! GURG FIND GREGUHH* IN TRASH PILE. TRIED EATING. THEN MOVED, AND CUDDLED GURG. SO GURG CUDDLE BACK. THEN GURG EAT.

NEXT POSTER TELL US SOMETHING TASTY! GREHHH!

*Greguhh is a common otyugh word for something unknown, and has connotations of being big, rotten and probably tasty*

Scarab Sages

Hogy Vagy? Here's some treats from the Old Country!

The next poster ages in a "two steps forward, one step back" pattern.


Indeed. I age at a rate of two seconds per second*! However, due to some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff and a metaphysical implementation of Zeno's Paradoxes, I am brought back one second making my effective rate one second per second even when traversing time at two seconds.

*Technically, I operate in smaller quantum units, but for the purposes of this discussion it is more than enough. Your non-transcendentally temporal minds wouldn't be able to understand these higher dimensions anyway.

The next poster knows the secret ingredient to a super special recipe.


Indeed, but i can't tell it of course.

The next poster will announce who is in the box i just placed in the plaza, with the label "to the grand prison of Cheliax".


It was everyone who had a hand in D&D 4.0.

The next poster rules the night.


Come children, they shall now fear the night.

The next poster sells roach motels.


I build them myself so the poor things will not be homeless.

The next poster spent a crazy night in a hotel.


Oh, i remember well. Room 666 with the succubus from down the street.

The next poster is Schism's barber.

Scarab Sages

Nope. Just me.

The next person has a bone to pick with me.


How dare you use a dog reference.

The next poster has a pet that is not a dog or cat.


It's a flaming horse, of course. Loyal and with a fiery temper.

The next poster idolizes some other-universal-man named Darth Vader.


Will you look at that swagger, that casual disregard for lives. Other-universal-man has faith, I'll tell you that.

The next poster can't live without a certain substance.


I need cedar cheese dammit!!!! Cheese and dinner rolls go great with dinner.

The next poster, uh, forgot what he going to say.

Liberty's Edge

*bee-bee-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP....*

*beepbeepwhistlewhistleTOOTBerserk sound effectsTOOT!*

Dark Archive

so what was I going to say?
the next poster is literally an ass

Silver Crusade

*American Sign-Language Speaker*

*Give New Face Now Hit Seven With One Blow*


*Gave KOKO New Face Now, Hit and slew Seven With One Blow*, enjoy your new mask.

The next poster is fond of kittens.

Shadow Lodge

That's already been revealed.

The next poster is clueless about what was actually revealed.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Hey, that was just once and I swear he looked like a woman!

The next poster's nickname is "the gimp".

Sczarni

Yes, the size of it does make me walk a little funny but the women will never stop enjoying it.

The next poster fantasizes about being a bard named Justin Bieber

Scarab Sages

Having levels in a PC class necessarily implies talent and inner power, so it would make sense that I would fantasize about how such a person could obliterate a level 5 Commoner by the same name so that that name would henceforth be associated only with someone whose name was worthy of being known.

The next poster has the ability to switch names with other people as a melee touch attack 1/day.


True, i tap their shoulder and kindly ask their name. Followed by mischief in forementioned person's name and disguise.

The next person does ihiyc 's facepaint.


True. What is less well known is that the paint is actually various kinds of oozes, slimes and jellies.

The next poster has a special relationship to stunjellies.

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