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Just Dropped In

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Look, we tried to get rid of goblins in Starfinder, we really did. We tossed them down the garbage chute alongside some broken pipes and used batteries and OH GOD they have laser pistols and grenades and starships now! What have we done?!

Starfinder's space goblins are pests, to be sure, whether they are hiding in the ventilation systems of Absalom Station or establishing their own "empire" on a tiny asteroid in the Diaspora. But their antics can be amusing, especially when it isn't you standing at the business end of a makeshift junklaser. To that end, we have continued the fine tradition of the Pathfinder RPG Condition Cards by showing space goblins having various conditions inflicted upon them in the Starfinder Condition Cards.

Illustrations by Kent Hamilton

In addition to providing a handy summary of a particular condition, each two-sided card is illustrated by Kent Hamilton with a space goblin demonstrating that condition. From being entangled with wires to being grappled by alien tentacles and from blinding himself with his own flashlight to being fascinated by a shiny datapad (which I assume is running a space goblin's favorite gaming app: Angry Owlbears), these space goblins are both informative and hilarious!

So take home a deck of Starfinder Condition Cards—and all its space goblins—today. Please. These goblins have already tipped over the office fridge and are starting to gnaw on boxes of Flip-Mats. Oh no! I think they've made it to the serv—

Jason Keeley
Developer

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Tags: Kent Hamilton Starfinder
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Grand Lodge
3 people marked this as a favorite.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dark Archive

DAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW
1 person marked this as a favorite.

Is there a condition I don't know about called face first into turds?

Poor guys, what did they ever do ;)

Looks to be the same goblin in every one too, that poor unpleasant fellow. Life has not been kind.
2 people marked this as a favorite.
MichaelCullen wrote:
Poor guys, what did they ever do ;)

Let's put it this way: the Universe decided that everyone needed to forget what these goblins did, and the thousands of years of events that led up to them doing what they did.

And I do mean everyone.
9 people marked this as a favorite.

♫♪ I woke out of cryo with ship alerts chiming in
I thawed my mind with a dash of tonic, whole lotta gin
I fumbled my Piloting roll, fell from eight miles high
I tore our hull on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

I pushed my ship in a deep Drift hole and then I followed it in
I watched some Leng clawing out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got such a fright watchin' reality unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

Some grem' painted "Libera tutemet ex infernis" down the ship's spine
I set a course through the Vast, spaced the crew, and blew out my mind
Eight days outta Absalom, little hope and less air
Eight days, straight up dead adrift somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

I said I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah) ♫♪
5 people marked this as a favorite.
Lemartes wrote:
Is there a condition I don't know about called face first into turds?

That would be sh*t-faced I believe

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I now want to play a
"We be goblins...IN SPACE!"
Sovereign Court
9 people marked this as a favorite.
Matt2VK wrote:

I now want to play a

"We be goblins...IN SPACE!"

This!!! So much this!!!

Suggested title "We Be Goblins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Blast Off"
Scarab Sages
1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I want the shirts NOW!
Starfinder Superscriber

They got to the server? That'd explain the reason the site was wonky over the last few weeks. :)

I am so happy I ordered these!
1 person marked this as a favorite.
Matt2VK wrote:

I now want to play a

"We be goblins...IN SPACE!"

You're missing a couple of "A"s. :D

Grand Lodge
2 people marked this as a favorite.
Captain Phoenix wrote:
Matt2VK wrote:

I now want to play a

"We be goblins...IN SPACE!"

This!!! So much this!!!

Suggested title "We Be Goblins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Blast Off"

This! Make it so!

I also request Space Poog, complete with space frog hat
Scarab Sages
1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I can't wait to see Squeally Nord in space.
Paizo Employee Developer
2 people marked this as a favorite.
Captain Pillbug Lebowski wrote:

♫♪ I woke out of cryo with ship alerts chiming in

I thawed my mind with a dash of tonic, whole lotta gin
I fumbled my Piloting roll, fell from eight miles high
I tore our hull on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

I pushed my ship in a deep Drift hole and then I followed it in
I watched some Leng clawing out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got such a fright watchin' reality unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

Some grem' painted "Libera tutemet ex infernis" down the ship's spine
I set a course through the Vast, spaced the crew, and blew out my mind
Eight days outta Absalom, little hope and less air
Eight days, straight up dead adrift somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my gobdition was in)

I said I just dropped in to see what condition my gobdition was in
(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah) ♫♪

Bravo!

I wonder what the Hobgoblins are up too in Starfinder? Did the event that wiped Golarion (and people's memories of Golarion) out of existance shake their race as much as the Elves I wonder? Or do they have an mini-empire and are preparing to conquer the Solar System? I also imagine Bugbears have become interstellar serial killers as well.
Dark Archive
2 people marked this as a favorite.

Poog in spaaaaace must happen. Can we entertain "we be goblins in space" for free RPG day next year?
1 person marked this as a favorite.

WALK IT OFF, CREW! THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY DOESN'T HAVE SICK LEAVE!

...

*Starts humming along with Cap'n Pillbug*

I suspect that hobgoblins and bugbears are both *much* rarer. Goblins have the advantage of being small, easily hidden, and fast breeding. The bigger goblinoids would take a lot more effort and intent to get off Golarion in populations big enough to matter.

Doesn't mean they are extinct, mind. I doubt any species is truly extinct unless specifically called out as such.
2 people marked this as a favorite.

Thinking about it... How did goblins get into space?

Is it possible they masterminded the gap and are solely responsible for the disappearance of Golarion?

We know Torag was basically a sworn enemy of the Goblins. Maybe...

Cute. Now I have to get these. :)
Captain Phoenix wrote:
Matt2VK wrote:

I now want to play a

"We be goblins...IN SPACE!"

This!!! So much this!!!

Suggested title "We Be Goblins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Blast Off"

I like "We Be Goblins-Little Green Men from Space."

MageHunter wrote:

Thinking about it... How did goblins get into space?

First Contact suggests they were stowaways.

Remember, when leaving Absalon Station please check your air circulation ducts and engineering passages for goblins before departing.
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