"Pfft. They served us a boar that was smaller than something we could have hunt for ourselves. Apparently, it's 'resource intensive' to hunt for us while we're taking care of their problems."
Beachhead thinks for a moment.
"He didn't actually say the words 'resource intensive' with his mouth. He said it with his eyes."
I suppose wings aren't the absolute worst part of the meal...if you don't mind eating leather stretched over bone I guess you could eat just about anything, though.
I like the redecoration is really a smashing idea, considering how tough it's going to be for us to fit through these walls otherwise. Tomorbataar nods slowly.
Shall we head back to mister eyes?
"His name is Sir Tolgrith. And we should be grateful to him, since he's helped us with some problems that we've been unable to fix on our own. Like Beachhead's funk!" Ziphora protests.
"Yeah we need to redecorate. But we need an architect to do it...I'd like to paint the whole place sky blue, and have fluffy white clouds on a idylic meadow painted on the castle walls."
I don't think we need to be grateful, exactly. Not that I said we shouldn't be earlier, but we've been exchanging and trading goods and services. In fact, it seems like we've been getting the short end of the...trade...more often than not.
"Huh? How be we gettin' the short end? All the tasks they been askin' for have been fightin' things, right? Fightin' things and then eating them hardly be a chore. In fact, I'd consider it a reward. How else would be findin' the best fights and food around here?"
"Yeah, but we don't need the humans for fighting and eating. We could easily go hunting for enemies."
That's true, but it's also true that our reward from the humans should be based on how valuable what we're doing is to them, not how difficult it is for us to do. Did you ever hear of a man getting paid to dig five foot square holes a hundred feet straight down with just a shovel?
"No, but tell me all about it as we head back to the humans' camp."
Beachhead votes to head out.
The goblin creature comes back with a small sack and a rolled-up sheet of parchment.
"These are the easy things to carry," he says. "Some money, some potions, a ring, and you might like this map. There are also a lot of paintings, a tapestry, and a rug that are probably valuable, but they're a lot for little me to carry. Oh, and Vardak had a very nice bed," he adds, looking at the rather tattered one on your back.
Pacem reports that the goblin isn't hiding anything that she saw.
"Good job." Ziphora addresses both the goblin and Pacem as she takes the bag from the goblin and gives it to Tomorbataar. "Now about redecorating, how do we get about it?"
"Yeah, we start by making the doorways bigger."
Entycer's "memories" of these transactions with the humans is strangely absent. Was she dreaming, had she been asleep for all of this?
"Why are we trading with them, I can't seem to recall. Can't we just make them serve us?"
"Firstly it's better to make friends then compel others to serve you. A friend would help you because you're friends, while a slave would run away if you were in trouble."Ziphora answers Entycer.
"We might be able to ask the humans to help us redecorate the fortress. They can do clever things with their hands. "Ziphora muses. "Especially so, since they built their own Fort."
Ziphora takes note of the fortresses location then decides to head back to the humans.
Vote to head back to humans
Grash is distracted from the current discussion by considerations on composing a ballad celebrating their latest exploit. "Hmm... should that be 'squashed the wizard', 'smashed the wizard', or 'righteously flattened yon pointy-eared spellcaster'? Hmmm.... "
"Righteously flattened yon pointy-eared spellcasters." Ziphora votes.
Ziphora begins to sing...
"We trampled our way to the wizard’s fort,
Of his evil minions we slew many.
For the wizard was truly a bast@rd
To save our friends we could not tarry."
"For the forces of good we fought,
For the wizard was an evil schemer.
We flew to up to him and squished him flat
That was a real winner."
"Now what are we going to do with the spoils of war?
A fortress all to ourselves, when we’ve had none before
Paint it blue, I suggest, and have clouds on the walls.
Then make the doors bigger so we can fit in,
That’s the perfect décor."
Entycer nearly scoffs at Ziphora's suggestion that friendship is better than compulsion, She shall see soon enough.
Entycer does thoroughly enjoy the song though an also begins to perform it but off key...
"Grash, can you work the word 'defenestration' into one of your ballads about us?"
"Hmm... Probably. We'd have ter throw someone out a window first, so that it would be true."
"I also still be thinking that we should decorate with nice bones and hides and carvings. Paintin' the whole fortress blue would be too much work, and look soft."
"Hmm... Probably. We'd have ter throw someone out a window first, so that it would be true."
"Or you could just say that we didn't defenestrate anyone, and then you get the word in and it's true."
"I have an idea. Each of us takes charge of one room, and dictates how the room should look like? That way we all have freedom of choice."
"Hmm... should that be 'squashed the wizard', 'smashed the wizard', or 'righteously flattened yon pointy-eared spellcaster'? Hmmm.... "
He's a rascally sheep biter, that one, Tomorbataar adds enthusiastically, I'm glad we ended his life.
That's a good song, we'll work on the ending later, that part about blue and clouds things is uh...muscially unsound. Tomorbataar clearly has no great skill regarding music. The room thing is a good idea, we need a central room and four alcoves...five alcoves. Hrm.
The humans could install a window, he suggests, let's go ask.
Tomorbataar votes to go see the humans.
"Ziphora, that's a wonderful idea. I'll need a lot of "friends" for my room, my room should be a kitchen so my friends can cook and cook and cook!"
"You can have the kitchen,"Ziphora offers magnanimously. "By the way I'm a pretty good cook as well, so if your friends need any help, feel free to ask."
I'm not sure there will be room in your kitchen for much more than just you, because you'd be pushing our rooms too far away for us to all sleep in them. Maybe if you were on the edge you could fit a side kitchen next to your bed.
Mo has, by now, started poking his head into doorways to see what's through them.
The goblinoid, hearing that you're thinking of leaving now, speaks up and suggests, "It's starting to get late, yes? Perhaps you'd like to sleep here and then leave in the morning? After all, there is plenty of good food here."
He licks his lips.
...It's not really that late yet.
"Sure no problem goblin, do you have a name? Calling you goblin can get confusing, especially if there are more of you." Ziphora answers.
"Yes, we'll roast the remaining drakes for breakfast tomorrow morning."
Entycer shakes her head, "No we leave and you follow. Am I right?" She turns to look at her fellow heads.
Seems about right to me, we could make some good progress with the light we have left. This fellow Tomorbataar nods his head at the goblinoid creature, but doesn't seem to be actually addressing him directly, can stay behind and cook the food. Then while we sleep it can walk through the night carrying it to us, sound good? He finally turns to look the goblin in the eyes, daring him to protest.
"I am Garblinx," the goblinoid replies to Ziphora. "I can stay behind and bring food, masters. What of the big stupid one?" Garblinx asks, pointing at Mo.
"Hey!" Mo complains.
"Oh, calm down, Mo. You are very big compared to him!"
Addressing Garblinx, Beachhead replies. "He travels with us, but he'll need quarters here, also."
"Hey, if ye need ter pack some things before you go, just say so. Dinnae beat around tae bush. Just remember that if ye lag behind, ye may miss out on some good fights and hydra teachings! I nae be waitin' for slowpokes."
"Also, I be thinking Mo be pretty bright as giants go. He be smart enough to know that workin' with us be a good idea, and be quite helpful with carryin' things."
Grash doesn't mention that "pretty bright for a hill giant" is a fairly low bar to clear. Besides, he'd always respected fighting skills just as much as cunning.
I don't know how bright hill giants ussually are, but Mo really isn't a bright one. Maybe he's unusually intelligent for what he is, but to be perfectly honest I think his main strengths lie elsewhere. Tomorbataar doesn't seem to really comprehend just how offensive he's being.
"Mo is not stupid! He is honest and loyal!" Ziphora fervently defends Mo.
"I will not have my friends slandering each other."She glares at Garblinx. "You owe Mo an apology."
Garblinx looks up at Mo and says, "Sorry."
Mo grumbles to himself, but doesn't complain out loud any more.
Tomorbataar glares at Garblinx for a moment, half chuckling to himself.
Garblinx seems unphased by the glare.
Finally you set out on your way, Mo in tow. For some odd reason, nothing bothers you as you make your way back down into the valley.
Garblinx catches up to you as night falls, hauling a large sack--he is, apparently, very strong for his size. "Here is some of the meat, masters," he says.
Entycer is content to stay quiet and think about chickens wings as they make their way back to the settlement.
"That's better." Ziphora nods approvingly at Garblinx's apology. "Both of you need to get along with each other since you're both my friends."
"All right, people, let's get the hangi going!" Ziphora enthuses, then pulls out some bushes. "Mo, Light the fire!" Ziphora orders, then gets the rocks. She asks Mo to dig a pit, then put the heated rocks in it, then lay the sack ontop of the stones, and cover it with earth. Several hours later, she digs up everything.
Unfortunately, the heated stones burn a hole in the sack and some of the earth gets in, slightly marring the steamed meat.
"I told you I know how to cook, right?" Ziphora tells Entycer.
Grash doesn't really care that some of the meat is burnt, and starts eating.
"Still dinnae really get why cookin' be so important to some of ye. I be fine eatin' either way, so long as tae meal were defeated in honorable combat."
Beachhead slithers close to Grash. Maybe a little too far into the personal space of someone eating.
"Does that affect the taste for you? Whether they died honorably or not?"
Uhhh...this is dirty meat. Tomorbataar says, eying it warily. He looks up, clearly convinced you've not noticed yet, what do we do for food now?
Grash gives Beachhead an incredulous look. "Aye, of course! The memories of the battle fought! The effort put into obtaining the meal! These are the best spices! And the better the fight, the better the taste! Now go get some of your own, there's plenty here." G
Grash snorts and pulls his hunk of meat away from the intrusive Beachhead.
"Cooking is important because it improves the flavor."Ziphora tells Grash solemnly."Besides most developed cultures cook, and we do want to look civilized and not like savage beasts, don't we?"
"Well, I can breath off the dirt?" Ziphora uses her breath to brush the dirt off the meat, but it still tastes faintly earthy.
Beachhead recoils from both Grash and Tomorbataar simultaneously.
"It doesn't matter if you don't like it! As long as at least one of us does. We hall have the same stomach!"
That's why I'm worried! What if I become...like you?
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"Everyone should have goals."
"I wouldn't want to become like YOU, beachhead. The only thing you're good at is dissappearing." Ziphora snorts.
Beachhead stares at Ziphora for a long moment before replying.
"And biting. Maybe I'll show how good I am at that to Pacem."
"Don't you dare! I'll headbutt you silly!"
"You can't headbutt me if I... disappear."