What if they use a stick to touch the ring? A stick with a hook?
"Just dodge it. Duh!"
"But if I might make a suggestion, amulets might be better suited to your... unique challenges."
"Or a belt!"
But how do you manage to dodge it when you're also trying to hit them with your horn? It seems to me that if you can touch them with your horn, they can grab your horn, and then they could move you wherever.
"Oh no! I want a book on fairly tales with happy endings, or failing that, the recipe book, "Jamie's comfort food". Or any other recipe books written by him."
But how do you manage to dodge it when you're also trying to hit them with your horn? It seems to me that if you can touch them with your horn, they can grab your horn, and then they could move you wherever.
"How is it you ever learned any martial arts?"
Anyway, Beachhead opts for an amulet or belt (or multiples thereof) of equal worth to the flaming sword the heads have recovered. They seem to have had recent troubles with negative energy, so something that would provide protection against that is suggested, but, you know, whatever. Unless anybody who doesn't already have gear suggests something else, Beachhead tells Sir Tolgrith that that is definitely their final decision, repeating it VERY LOUDLY if any of the other heads disagree.
"Finally, Sir Tolgrith, do you have any other tasks you need our 'unique challenges' to help with, or should we turn our attention to one of our very important quests for the time being?"
I learned them from a scroll. It showed lots of silly humans hitting each other from far away. That was important, actually, the written parts talked quite a lot about how you need to stay far enough away that you can't get hit most of the time. I've adapted it for hydra use by staying so close that only I can do the hitting. But you have to move around a lot, and have no horns, or else it's not so good...I should write a treatise in case anyone else needs it... Tomorbataar trails off and becomes lost in thought.
He perks up a bit when Ziphora mentions a cookbook. Don't most cookbooks advise use of utensils? He asks skeptically.
"That's easy," Ziphora answers. "I can use my mouth to pull up the necessary stuff, anything else, ask Mo to chop it in the right proportions, right?"
"Besides, I can do some limited lifting with my air powers," She demonstrates by using her ability to clean up things, and move things.
"See? Who needs hands when air magic does the job." Ziphora sounds smug.
"Right... I'll see what I can get for you in the way of amulets... or belts, when I next send a message back to the city," Sir Torlgrith replies. "And I'm sure a cookbook can be arranged too, Ziphora. As for work, I don't have anything right now, but I'm sure something will come up soon."
That air power is pretty cool. I think it might be your best ability, since it alliveates the need for the messy mouth work. Tomorbataar looks quite pleased with her answer.
Well I suppose it's about time for dinner, then. We'll have to look over our important missions while we eat, Tomorbataar turns to the others as he says this last bit, assuming that Torlgrith will go off to get them some food.
"Yup I'm pretty proud of it. See, I can do without hands!" Ziphora waggles her head.
"Yes, we have a good-sized boar for you," Sir Torlgrith says, motioning for some of his men to bring the animal out to you.
It's definitely not as big as that bear you ate, but it should do for the evening.
So, what other artifacts do we have to track down? Tomorbataar looks around at the others, waiting for someone to cook the boar.
Beachhead looks at the boar in disdain.
"Well, I would hope that you'd give us a meal at the very least, but we could have gotten our own meal in less time and with a LOT less risk than we took rescuing your ancestors from a tortured afterlife. You'd think that would be worth something.
"I bet if we were adventurers, you'd be tripping all over each other to throw your metal coins at us, but since it's not like there's a store nearby for us to just waltz up to (the waltz is a sacred ninja dance, fyi), that's not really going to work for us.
"You seem to have a good idea of what we could really use, Sir Tolgrith, what with your 'Mebbe youse guyz want amulet!', so I'd much rather see something along those lines, or some sort of credit towards such. Not something that's maybe a third of the size that we could have gotten for ourselves in the same amount of time."
Beachhead looks sideways at the boar and then self-consciously rips a chunk off to eat.
"Also, we need your priest to heal me with that special spell, again."
After a moment's pause, Sir Torlgrith replies, his tone carefully neutral, "This is a small outpost with only enough supplies for my own men. Supplying these meals to you has required me to take my scouts off scouting and have them hunt full-time instead. It's thanks to you I've been able to do that, but I don't have any manpower to spare to do more, and I certainly don't have any coin. I was authorized to offer land and part of the future tax revenue from the road to anyone who helped me, and that offer still stands."
He pauses. "I suppose you weren't here for that part. What that means is that, the sooner this area is safe for trade, the sooner you'll start getting a cut of the taxes, and the bigger that cut will be. Until then, I can offer you nothing more than the services of our priest because I have nothing more. Is that clear?"
"Are you angry? You seem angry. Was it the voice impression? Did that make you angry? Anyway.
"Don't get angry, but do we have this land and tax agreement in writing? Anyone? Land isn't going to do us any good if the first bipedal jerk to try and come along decides to take our tax revenue. Then we'd have to kill them, and that would make more people angry. We would need proof of this agreement.
"Anyway (again), what other threats are out there that you know about? Or suspect, at least? I don't think any of us have a feel for how big of a task this will be."
He's just worried about offending us, after all, we've got some significant battle prowess. Tomorbataar bares his teeth, and it looks almost like a smile.
Now Torlgrith, I'm sure that you'd vouch for us in such a circumstance as the one Beachhead has described, you've benefitted too much from us and are too far in our service. But I do have a thought... Tomorbataar looks greedily hungry, and stoops down to look at Torlgrith rather closely.
Why not give us an official title? Or send us to one who can?
"I could write up an official contract, yes," Sir Torlgrith says, leaning back from Tomorbataar instinctively. "As for official titles... I'll write to the King about how vital you've been to our efforts and recommend you be knighted. It's up to him to make such a pronouncement."
"Hydra knights? Oh-me-god that is so FREAKING AWESOME!" Ziphora gushes at Sir Tolgrith. Then she flutters her eyelashes at him and gives him puppy eyes, "Pretty-please? You can make that happen, right?"
He's already agreed to make it happen, and a word given to a hyrda is binding. Tomorbataar says these last words sagely.
I still think we need to discuss the artifact hunting before we sleep.
Sir Torlgrith spreads his hands slightly. "I can recommend it, but the King will have to agree," he states.
Do you think there's any chance that he wouldn't agree? I think he would, but uh...well... Tomorbataar looks a little shy, I've never met a king.
"Relax. Kings are just like us, but completely different. There's nothing to worry about."
Beachhead repeats his question to Sir Tolgrith.
"What other threats for this area are out there that you know about? Or suspect, at least? I don't think any of us have a feel for how big of a task this will be."
"I mentioned I had to take my scouts off scouting, did I not?" Sir Torlgrith responds. "They were the ones looking for threats. I've still got some men around the road work sites for security and close-in reconnaissance, but I don't have the men to go deep into the vale. So far they've been safe, but I don't like how blind I am as to what else is here. As for the King..."
He hesitates a long moment. "I've received word recently he's been unwell. I don't know what his reaction will be to you at present."
"It seems we should go scouting deep into the vale," Beachhead states to the other heads.
I could've sworn we had some artifacts to hunt down, but they can't have been too important. We have the staff, after all. Tomorbataar pokes it with his nose, I can already feel its magics taking effect, making us stronger...yes...definitely.
I don't know how good we'll be at scouting though, we might be better taking the place of the guards on the road and letting them do the scouting. After all, they're smaller, so anything won't see them coming, and they can go in more directions at once.
How many directions can we go in at once?
Tomorbataar votes to go in a direction.
"I know! I'll send Pacem out for a look-see!" Ziphora helpfully suggests.
Pacem materializes on a tree branch. "Pacem, we're moving to the vale. Could you go ahead of us, carefully and tell us if anything is coming? Be sneaky, and do not let ANYTHING see you. "
Once they are at unexplored territory, Pacem does as Ziphora bids and flies in the canopy sneakily,while looking around.
I could've sworn we had some artifacts to hunt down, but they can't have been too important.
"No, they are! But so is this! And the sooner we do this, the sooner we can become land owners, and Mo can be promoted to head serf!
"Let's just do this one thing, now, so that when Sir Tolgrith sends word to his king about making us a knight, our current actions can be taken into consideration."
Why didn't you vote to go in a different direction? We need to see what we're capable of.
Okay, that sounds good to me, Beachhead, but only if you vote to go that way.
Also we don't even know that there's anything out there. It might be nothing, and then we'd be wasting effort...but it's not really wasting because it looks good for the king.
Ready when you are.
As you turn to leave, you notice a distant creature in the air... and then the image of a huge (as in, 15' tall) elven man, dressed in faded finery and with a crystal-tipped staff in one hand, appears in mid-air over the fort.
"Greetings, and begone from my lands, men of Korvosa!" he grandly proclaims, stretching a hand out over the fort. "I have tolerated your presence here too long! If you tarry, I shall destroy you!"
"Um...
"What?"
Tomorbataar whispers to the others for a few moments, looking back at the elf every now and again. Well, we are supposed to protect their road, I suppose that means we should protect them from this fellow as well. Now before we go swinging, let's ask him a few questions, since we don't want him to fly off and escape.
Turning, Tomorbataar addresses the man loudly.
The man looks over at you, surprised. "A talking hydra! How very unusual! Hmmm... whatever they're paying you, I'll pay you double to work for me."
He turns back to the fort. "Now, then, I am not without pity, and so..."
He stretches out his hand again, but this time a small red orb flew out from it, then stopped, hovering in midair above the fort. "That is a flame seed."
Sir Torlgrith gasps, and the elven man smiles. "You recognize it, don't you? So you should know that, a week from today, anything here will be obliterated in its explosion. You should also know that tampering with it would be... unwise."
Ziphora examines the seed. "Hungry? Is what that elven man said true? " She questions her brother who knows most about this stuff frantically.
"Why are you doing this to them, you sick b@stard? They're my friends! You remove it at once or I'll electrocute you!" She threatens the elf angrily.
This is a temporary nest right? They can probably just carry it away, he's pretty dumb for a wizard.
Don't worry Zip, let's negotiate a little bit. Tomorbataar says, examining the orb. He hasn't done anything that can't be reversed yet.
What would you need us to do? What would someone such as yourself need us for, after all? Good to know how powerful he is, so we know if we can fight if we need to. And can you provide us with noble titles?
"Good call. I was going to ask about the noble titles," Beachhead says matter-of-factly. "But the whole burning our home down is worrisome."
"Look, the humans have been helping us all the while,they fixed your blue funk, Beachhead," Ziphora glares at him, " And because the other side offered more rewards, you're deserting?" Ziphora looks affronted at her brother's reactions.
Ziphora can tell that the glowing gem is probably very powerful, but not much else.
"Well, you'd defend my vale against trespassers, of course. And perhaps aid me in my experiments." The elf seemed surprised to be addressed again by the hydra, much less by three heads at once. "These people have ruined one of my most important experiments, so I'll need some help to fix it and make certain no one else interferes. I'm certain I could give you some sort of titles, as well."
Obviously I'm not defecting, just gathering information before I do something stupid. Tomorbataar says under his breath, hoping the elf man doesn't have supernatural hearing.
Well, mister, I have some very peculiar needs when it comes to lodgings, you see, I need them to be clean and comfortable, in that order, and lots of both. Whereabouts would we live while we helped your experiments? And what exactly has been ruined?
"Look, the humans have been helping us all the while,they fixed your blue funk, Beachhead," Ziphora glares at him, " And because the other side offered more rewards, you're deserting?" Ziphora looks affronted at her brother's reactions.
"MAYBE I'm just pretending to desert to get on his good side, Ziphora! Did you ever think of that! No!
"Or MAYBE I'm just pretending to pretend to desert so that the humans still like us! Did you ever think of that, either? No!
"The point is that I don't even know what I'm thinking, right now, and you yelling at me is just giving me anxiety and making me doubt my pretend feelings! Did you ever that of that? I seriously doubt it."
"Look - you remove the flame seed, let the humans stay where they are, and we'll come with you to the vale." Ziphora glares at the elf.
"And you.." She shakes her head at Beachhead. "I really don't understand you."
Tomorbataar stares at Beachhead for some time, blinking. Beachhead, uh...what?
"And you.." She shakes her head at Beachhead. "I really don't understand you."
Tomorbataar stares at Beachhead for some time, blinking. Beachhead, uh...what?
"I'm very mysterious."
So...uh...alrighty then.... Tomorbataar looks puzzled, and seems to have forgotten all about the mighty wizard and his orb of destruction.
The wizard elf frowns at you. Well, mostly at Ziphora. "I will not let them stay here. What do you care about them? You do not want to side against me."
Well, mister, Tomorbataar says, turning and looking around for the wizard. Sorry, didn't see you there, would want to watch out that you don't stand to close and get trampled underfoot.
Now, we may not wish to side against you, but we also might anyway. Besides, wouldn't it work out best if we were to side with you? But that can't happen unless you answer my questions. Tomorbataar looks resolute,
The giant elf wizard, still floating in midair, glares at Tomorbataar. "The precise nature of my experiments need not concern you," he states. "I could, of course, provide clean lodgings for you of some sort or another. Is that sufficient for you, beast?"