1 shot, Serenity Hollow (Inactive)

Game Master Chyrone

Belegar puts his fingers to his lips and mimes closing the door to Thandir.

*Reads alterntive script, of 1/2 orc declaring love & redemption, entering the kitchen* XD

1d100 ⇒ 26 Oh my.

As Thandir gently pulls the door closed, it creaks at one of 'those moments' , where it is least wanted.

The person working on a meal turns around. It's a bald man wearing a bloodied apron.

"You shouldn't be here, you know.", the man says while holding a dead rabbit and a cleaver.

"Unless lord Kemnon gave you explicit permission which, of course, would have been told to me."

"Won't you come into my parlor, hmm?"

Thandir & Uke, willsaves DC 17 please.

Will: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22

Thandir turned around, took one look at the man, and *knew* that he was evil.

”You call that an axe? Korada! Let us show him what a real axe is!”

Divine favor if Thandir can also get a Spell off before combat

Ukebot Will save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

Uke also gets an additional +2 vs Poison & Mind-Affecting effect

Combat hits off pretty much at your declaration of hostilities. ;)

Uke's fascinated by the scents o food in the kitchen, and walks right in.
"By the kami, such delicious smells, and he's preparing rabbit, i love rabbit."

The cook gazes neutrally at Thandir.
"Hostilities within the lord's manor, how rude. Have it your way, savage. Oh GLOB, GLOB! The kitchen needs defending!"

A nearby large barrel starts shaking, then tips over, releasing a large mass of reeking lard, which oozes up into a vague humanoid shape.

All within 20ft of the lard, fort roll DC 15 if you please, vs sickened.

The manor kitchen, round 1

Thandir
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Lard golem
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Jurgan
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Cook
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Belegar & Uke

Fort: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28

Swift action divine favor for +3 Hit and +3 damage

Highest: 2d20 ⇒ (1, 17) = 18
Hit: 17 + 13 = 30
Damage: 6d6 + 16 ⇒ (3, 6, 6, 1, 5, 1) + 16 = 38

”Let’s see if you can fight better than you cook!”

Thandir mercilessly butchers a hard working cook... his mother should be proud...

(pff XD)

Though, perhaps Thandir chose the least worrisome foe.

The lard creature raises both hands, as if aiming to grab something.
Thandir just having killed the cook, the creature tries grabbing him.
Grab?: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (18) + 12 = 30 Succeeds.

The greasy hands grab the warpriest, and draw him into its body, weapon included.

Thandir is considered grappled, and has to start holding his breath, lest you inhale rank fat.
Almost forgot a spoiler for Kn. Arcane.

Jurgan
Belegar & Uke

knowledge(arcana): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27

Defences? Vulnerabilities?

Ask away.

Belegar calls out, "I've heard tales of these: immune to any spell that can be resisted. Except for spells of fire: all fire burns keenly to it!"

Belegar takes an arcing path to the creature and swings his greatsword in a further arc.
attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24
damage: 2d6 + 5 ⇒ (6, 1) + 5 = 12

Belegar comes around, slicing through a part of layer of the lard golem.

Lard golem takes 6 dmg.
===========================
[Inside the lard golem...]

Thandir, held tightly, feels a blade's edge cutting him....

Thandir takes 6 dmg.
============================

Jurgan & Uke

Belegar stares at the thing: "What the f@*&!"

Round 2

CMB: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

Thandir burst out of the lard golem with a mighty roar. Bits and pieces of lard flew through the air, befouling everything. The champion of Korada, the bringer of love, the bearer of mercy, lifted his axe as he challenged all that was evil to come and face his forgiveness. Which, he thought, would be a good name for his axe.

"MOVE!" The dwarven mage wastes no time to wait and see if the others hear but summons his magic and lets loose a lance of fire at the golem.

ranged touch scorching ray: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22
dmg: 4d6 ⇒ (4, 1, 2, 3) = 10

A fiery ray flies past Uke's head and into the lard golem, heating up the area of impact.
5 fire dmg to the lard golem.

===========================
[Inside the lard golem...]

Thandir feels his gut heating up, it must be that dwarven wizard at work.

5 fire dmg to Thandir.
===========================
Uke

I'll bot Uke.
Incidentally, Belegar still needs a roll vs the stink of the golem. DC 15 fort.

"By the kami, that heap of fat just ate the warpriest!"

He steps closer, and slices at the golem with his blade.
The smell of the golem, Fort vs sickened: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17 doesn't bother him so much.

Katana strike, PA: 1d20 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (11) + 10 - 2 = 19 Slice, PA 2-H: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7
The blade glides off the greasy exterior instead.

"Crud..."
=========================

The kitchen, round 2

Thandir suddenly comes wrestling himself free, slick from fat and reeking just as horribly.

The lard golem glares at the escapee. The other two adventurers dealing but pitiful harm to it, it tries grappling the 1/2 orc again.
Grab?: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 22 Sorry. :/

Thandir gets a 2nd experience of entering a heap of stinking lard.

Belegar, Jurgan
Uke

CMB: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26

So recently free, Thandir went back in. And just as easily as he was sucked in, he burst out again. "STOP THAT!" he roared.

Belegar holds his action, waiting got Thandir to break free before he strikes.

attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26
damage: 2d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 6) + 5 = 13

After seeing comrade Thandir disappear again, Belegar holds off his attack.

Jurgan & Uke(bot)

(Jurgan)

The dwarf holds back and yells "Get out of the room! I will cook this creature!"

Ready action fireball once everyone gets out of the room.

Uke blinks,
"O..k?", and he tries moving away.

Uke assumes a defensive stance total defense, then moves back.
Aoo: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (18) + 12 = 30 Impact: 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13, but nonetheless takes a solid hit before leaving the kitchen.
==========================

Round 3

Thandir breaks out again, covered still in reeking fat and grease, upon which Belegar strikes at the lard golem.

Grab?: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (12) + 12 = 24.... poor Thandir is starting to be similar to a songbird in a clock.

Jurgan & Uke

CMB: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19

In and out, in and out. Thandir kept his mouth firmly closed now, lest any lard get inside.

Hang on! It’s already used it’s AoO and Thandir should still have a move action. We can both get out of there and let Jurgan do his thing, can’t we?

Huh, this is true. Breaking grapple is a standard.
That'd mean redoing round 2, though.

If Thandir can get away from there, he will *gladly* do so

Okay, so....

In round 2, Thandir breaks out, all greased up, and would really love to get the heck out of here.
Acro vs aoo?

Acrobatics for a clumsy half-orc in plate armor: 1d20 - 4 ⇒ (3) - 4 = -1

So,.... Thandir hastes himself away from the ugly blob, which makes a swing as he leaves.

Aoo slam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (8) + 12 = 20 Impact: 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8, which is narrowly dodged.

And Thandir exits the kitchen as fast as he had entered it before.

The golem's turn, it sees Belegar and Uke before it.
1d2 ⇒ 2
Grab?: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (5) + 12 = 17, Uke ducks away from being grabbed, drops of grease falling upon his head.

Belegar bails as well, and Jurgan can roll for his fireball.

Fireball DMG?

This is going to smell awful!

Even when this thing does down, Thandir's presence will be well known to your noses. :)

More than usual! And he doesn’t have prestidigitation!

Fireball!!!!: 6d6 ⇒ (1, 2, 5, 3, 2, 4) = 17

Jurgan's fireball isn't very spectacular, and the lard golem is only moderately harmed by it. But gods, the stink, it's gotten even worse than before.
================================

The kitchen, round 3 The -actual- round 3. ^^

Thandir
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Lard golem (-28)
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Belegar, Jurgan, Uke

Hit, good aligned: 2d20 ⇒ (3, 20) = 23 33 Hit but only 14 confirm

Vital Strike: 6d6 + 16 ⇒ (5, 5, 4, 4, 4, 4) + 16 = 42

Thandir stalked in, a look of intense anger on his face. He lifted his monstrous axe above his head, and brought it down squarely atop the head of the golem. He didn’t know if it would kill it, or if it could even be killed, but he was going to find out!

I reckon i can guess why butchering axes are not featured in PFS, and why i haven't seen them in any games. With vital strike it can trivialize encounters.

Update when i'm home.

Truth be told, dealing 6d6 all the time with a butchering axe was a bit much for my taste. Granted, some foes require solid beatings.
Anyway...

Aoo slam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (5) + 12 = 17 Dmg: 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

As Thandir approaches the lard golem again, the sluggish creature does not come close to hitting the angry 1/2 orc, who in kind plants his force axe into its greasy top.

....retracting his axe, the head remains, and the creature still looms over him.
--------------------
Lard golem (-70)
Slam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (15) + 12 = 27 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14
Slam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (12) + 12 = 24 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
In return for taking a heavy hit, the golem retaliates with two solid slams, firmly brusing Thandir's ribs with the 1st, and knocking him out cold with the 2nd.

Thandir, you're at -4. Stabilize roll please.

Belegar & Jurgan
Uke-bot

Its powerful..but I needed Str19 (messed up point buy) and a trait to make it work. How about we drop it down to 1d12, but I get to fix his point buy and get a different trait to make up for the loss? Otherwise its a big hit

Go ahead, sir Thandir.

Jurgan fires another scorching ray at the lard golem.

ranged touch scorching ray: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12
dmg: 4d6 ⇒ (4, 3, 5, 6) = 18

Jurgan's fire ray hits the lard golem in the chest area, and it staggers a step, then stifles.

A moment, nothing happens, but then its cohesion starts to falter, and it oozes into a molten, filthy mass.

Combat over!

Thandir watched as the magic on his axe faded. He knew that he had tapped it out. He wouldn’t be seeing it’s like again. But he was more confident now. Confident in his own abilities. Standing there, dripping in lard, he smiled.

”Well done! Especially you, dwarf! Good fire!” He walked over to put a friendly pat on the dwarfs shoulder

Most of the above, after Thandir's received healing. Atm at -4 bleeding out. :P

Wand of CLW: 10d8 + 10 ⇒ (7, 5, 1, 6, 5, 6, 3, 1, 6, 5) + 10 = 55

You can hold on 5 charges. You're good to go after the first 5.

Belegar shakes his head, ”I’ll never cook with heavy fat again! The smell...”

Jurgan looks in the room to see if anything is of use still. He then casts his divination spell to sense any magical auras.

The esteemed scholar detects some faint auras coming from a cupboard near the kitchen bench where the cook was previously preparing a rabbit.

While the cabinet is locked, the dead cook turns out to have the key on him. Within the cupboard stand some vials, some labeled [Medicine] / [Anti-poison], and one unlabeled.
Further are a variety of herbs useful for cooking.

Jurgan tries to discern the properties of the unlabeled vial while taking the other two vials.

spellcraft: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (10) + 15 = 25