Brimleydower's Giantslayer (Inactive)

Game Master Kagehiro

3d6 ⇒ (2, 5, 5) = 12
3d6 ⇒ (4, 4, 6) = 14
3d6 ⇒ (4, 3, 3) = 10
3d6 ⇒ (3, 2, 6) = 11
3d6 ⇒ (1, 4, 5) = 10
4d6 ⇒ (6, 4, 1, 4) = 15

I'll be spoilering this with each character review that I perform. As mentioned previously, there will be a total of Six Characters selected for this game. As a sort of compromise and an attempt to make it fair for newcomers, I'll only be holding three slots in reserve for previous PbP acquaintances. The remaining three slots will be a FFA for all submissions. Having said that, it will probably help to explain my own criteria for these submissions as I review them.

While going through and reviewing a character, I'm going to be looking at a few things in particular:

Quality/Quantity of content, the former receiving more emphasis. Terse descriptions and character backgrounds are not likely to win me over. Perfunctory descriptions of who your parents were and where your character came from are not likely to win me over. After reading through your character, I should have a good idea of what kind of person they are—their drives, motivations, goals, and fears.

Writing style. Is it easy to read? Is it fun to read? I prefer things that are easy to understand. Proper punctuation and grammar (or at least in the ballpark) are also things I'll look for. I'm far from perfect myself, but it's easier to read things that are written correctly.

Does it fit the story? This game will be a grim take on Golarion, and begins with foundations in Trunau. I will be looking for submissions that fall in line easily with this style of game, and fit easily into the story's beginning.

Will the character fit the narrative mold being formed by other accepted submissions? I hope to have a well-rounded group that encourages interactions, and will make selections accordingly.

I'm looking for a man. Perhaps you've seen him? He wears silver and red robes.

Has Arctorus made any friends at all, or worthwhile acquaintances in Trunau? Even if the town at large looks on him with suspicion, there are no shortage of outcasts in somewhat similar circumstances.

I'm not too keen on the R.A. Salvatore name sampling.

There's a bit of formatting and paragraph structure errors going on in the backstory.

You say Breunor was fighting hill giants a bit early in his career. How was he able to survive confrontation with foes far beyond his skill?

I'm not seeing a lot of specifics in the backstory. The names of his family members, details on the frost giants that slew his parents, where the battle took place, etc.

Eastern armor seems a strange thing on a dwarf from the Five Kings.

I like how you've chosen to represent his pitiable Charisma score.

Writeup is easy to read and follow.

I'd like to see a little more specifically about the orc tribe responsible for his tragic past.

How does Dvalin view half-orcs? How would he handle a situation where cooperating with orcs meant surviving a far greater threat?

Full disclosure: I'm not a big fan of goblins as characters. In my experience, they tend to be chaotic little balls of comic relief that strain credibility.

Some of the run-ons and punctuation errors are, at times, difficult to follow.

This AP depends on some strong, direct ties to Trunau. Engaging the town in commerce is a start, but it's far from being accepted as one of their own.

Overall, I worry about compatibility issues with Golarion's flavor of goblin and a more hopeless-gritty game tone.

It's cool to see a dwarf groomed to lead rather than doing all the bashing and cleaving himself.

Backstory is easy to read, but a bit bare on the details. Who are the oracles and what did they predict? Who were his men?

There's a good outline here, enough to get an impression, but not a lot of specific details to really nail down the character.

I'm not sure Talthon qualifies for Ferocious Loyalty -- it seems to be restricted to werebears and their ilk.

I will PM you the responses.

I'll be spoilering this with each character review that I perform. As mentioned previously, there will be a total of Six Characters selected for this game. As a sort of compromise and an attempt to make it fair for newcomers, I'll only be holding three slots in reserve for previous PbP acquaintances. The remaining three slots will be a FFA for all submissions. Having said that, it will probably help to explain my own criteria for these submissions as I review them.

While going through and reviewing a character, I'm going to be looking at a few things in particular:

Quality/Quantity of content, the former receiving more emphasis. Terse descriptions and character backgrounds are not likely to win me over. Perfunctory descriptions of who your parents were and where your character came from are not likely to win me over. After reading through your character, I should have a good idea of what kind of person they are—their drives, motivations, goals, and fears.

Writing style. Is it easy to read? Is it fun to read? I prefer things that are easy to understand. Proper punctuation and grammar (or at least in the ballpark) are also things I'll look for. I'm far from perfect myself, but it's easier to read things that are written correctly.

Does it fit the story? This game will be a grim take on Golarion, and begins with foundations in Trunau. I will be looking for submissions that fall in line easily with this style of game, and fit easily into the story's beginning.

Will the character fit the narrative mold being formed by other accepted submissions? I hope to have a well-rounded group that encourages interactions, and will make selections accordingly.

Finally, do the mechanical pieces of the character pass muster? I'll admit, I won't be putting much stock in this. So long as things check with a quick read through, it should be fine. I will be doing one final pass of this when I have made my selections.

Loved the story. And I was glad to read that his fight with a giant went about how one would expect it to go, as opposed to questionable acts of heroics at the dawn of one's career, hah.

Is there a romantic bent to Morgder's affection for Helena?

Crunch checks out. Looks good.

Writing is solid and the story is easy to follow, but there's not a lot of fine detail.

Trunau is a very supportive and community driven place. Is there a reason the town hasn't pitched in to help one of their own?

Crunch looks good. I greatly approve of having a ram as a companion.

Being one of Halgra's children is a cool concept I hadn't considered. Also glad to see a half-orc not immediately named outcast due to his ancestry.

Any thoughts on what tribe the orc warband belonged to?

What is Tharok's relationship like with his many half-siblings?

Specific information and in great detail. Excellence.

I greatly approve of Grafelda's Patron.

And she's tied directly into Trunau. Looks great.

Background is leaning close to perfunctory. There's relevant information, but it's extremely brief. I'd need to see a lot more to select Davina, given the depth of competition so far.

Details of Ferrus' early life are scant. Who was his family? Where did they live? What city were they going to?

Writing could be cleaned up a bit. (They're = "they are")

Adopted allowed you to pick up a Race Trait, which is different from Racial Traits. A list can be found here.

Not usually big on fey stuff, but I enjoyed Jimon's backstory.

However, there's a lot of room to expand on details. I'm given a good overview, but not a ton of specifics.

I like Jimon, but have concerns that the character might be a bit flippant for the grim bent this game is going to entail.

Writing is strong. Backstory could use a few more on the detail side of things: mostly names and a little more examination of her trip to Trunau.

Points for coming up with a merfolk drawing power from a dwarven god. And points for being a red-head.

And finally, the big one: While mechanically sound, the thought of Skrioth flopping around on a giant fish-tail through the mountains in search of giants to kill conjures an absurd image. I would be far less hesitant if her lower half were something that seemed a little more suited to land-travel. Not demanding she have human legs, but the base assumption doesn't reconcile well with where the adventure will take her.

Why do Leira and her sister stay with Erik instead of their mother?

Trunau treats half-orcs pretty well. The Chief Defender even has some half-orc children. Why were Leira's familymembers singled out for this prejudice?

The Standing Vow is typically undertaken a bit earlier than 18. Around 14-15ish or so I believe.

The concept of anti-orc radicals is fine, but the Northgivers, or a Trunau-based noble family, etc. doesn't really fit.

• I'm glad! I put a lot of work into it, it's one of my best characters by far. Yeah I wanted to make sure all of his giant-hunting traits and abilities made sense, but a level 1 character does not win a fight against a giant. Any kind of giant. Basically he's lucky to be alive after running in like a fool.
• Yes, there absolutely is, but Helena seems to be blissfully unaware of it (or at least ignoring it to be polite). She is glad to have him as a friend and ally, but doesn't see him in a romantic light. Well, so Morgder believes. You do have creative freedom with her ;)
• Thanks! He's not optimized (the titan mauler archetype isn't fantastic) but he's well built and should be nothing to sneeze at.

I'm excited for the deadline. I haven't been this excited over a game in a long time. Brand new AP that seems brilliantly done and it's being run by a DM who really seems to really know what he's doing. There's another three or four Giantslayer recruitment threads out there with far less competition, but I want to be in the best game I can and bring the most to it to make it even better.

P.S. I'm still keeping the "Current Applications" spoiler updated in my submission. I don't know if you're still using it or not, but I'll keep it updated all the same.

Best of luck picking!

• I fear that was a misunderstanding. Actually it was Aliana, her mother, who married Erik, and had Sarah. They four live together. I made a tweak so this is better understood. Thanks for pointing it out.
  
• I have removed the Northgivers family and made it an underground organisation, the Northclaimers, who seek to claim the orcish lands. They would like to get rid of that blood and their lovers in Trunau, but they are actually a small organisation without the power to really claim so many half-orc lives before being discovered. The case of Olog and Leira was special as they were claiming for a peace treaty with some of the more civilised orc tribes.
  
• I will make Leira's age 17 and she will have recently taken the Vow then. She is very mature for her age though, due to Trunau's environment and the loss of her father.
  

Senza Veshki

Humanoid (Human)
NG Medium
Init +0; Senses Perception +4
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Defense
--------------------
AC 15, touch 10, flat-footed 15 (+5 armor)
hp 12 (1d10+2)
Fort +2, Ref +0, Will +0 (+1 vs. charm and compulsion)
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Offense
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Speed 30 ft.
Melee +4 Claw (1d6+2/x2)
Melee +3 Claw (1d6+4/x2) Power Attack
Melee +3 Bladed Scarf (1d6+2/x2)
Melee +2 Bladed Scarf (1d6+4/x2) Power Attack
--------------------
Statistics
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Str 14, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 10, Cha 14
Base Atk +1; CMB +4; CMD 14
Languages Common
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Feats
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Power Attack
Weapon Focus (claws)
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Traits & Drawbacks
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Dragonfoe: You’ve always hated dragons. Perhaps one of your ancestors was a well-known dragonslayer, or a rampaging dragon killed your family or friends. Maybe the stories you grew up hearing about knights rescuing captive princes and princesses from the clutches of evil dragons inspired you to slay dragons. Whatever the reason for your obsession, it has driven you to study how to fight dragons and defend yourself against their fearsome attacks. You gain a +1 dodge bonus to AC against creatures with the dragon type and a +2 trait bonus on Reflex saves against breath weapon attacks.

Varisian Tattoo You bear the elaborate tattoos of your people, marking you as a free son or daughter of the road. You gain a +1 trait bonus on saving throws against charm and compulsion effects. Additionally, you are proficient with bladed scarves and starknives.
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Skills
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Acrobatics +0 [1]
Bluff +2
Climb +2 [1]
Diplomacy +2
Fly -4
Intimidate +6 [1]
Knowledge (arcana) +4 [1]
Perception +4 [1]
Sense Motives +0
Spellcraft +4[1]
Stealth -4
Survival +0
Swim -2
--------------------
Gear
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Scale Mail
Bladed scarf
Pocketed Scarf

Backpack:
Basic Map (major landmarks only)
Bedroll
Winter blanket
flint and steel
utility knife
mess kit
waterskin (full) x2
72gp 4sp
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Special Abilities
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Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Bloodragers are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armor, medium armor, and shields (except tower shields). A bloodrager can cast bloodrager spells while wearing light armor or medium armor without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. This does not affect the arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes. Like other arcane spellcasters, a bloodrager wearing heavy armor or wielding a shield incurs a chance of arcane spell failure if the spell in question has somatic components.

Bloodrage (Su): (6 rounds) The bloodrager's source of internal power grants him the ability to bloodrage. At 1st level, a bloodrager can bloodrage for a number of rounds per day equal to 4 + his Constitution modifier. At each level after 1st, he can bloodrage for 2 additional rounds per day. Temporary increases to Constitution (such as those gained from bloodraging or spells like bear's endurance) don't increase the total number of rounds that a bloodrager can bloodrage per day. The total number of rounds of bloodrage per day is renewed after resting for 8 hours, although these hours need not be consecutive. A bloodrager can enter a bloodrage as a free action. While in a bloodrage, a bloodrager gains a +4 morale bonus to his Strength and Constitution, as well as a +2 morale bonus on Will saves. In addition, he takes a –2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase to Constitution grants the bloodrager 2 hit points per Hit Die, but these disappear when the bloodrage ends and are not lost first like temporary hit points. While bloodraging, a bloodrager cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride) or any ability that requires patience or concentration. A bloodrager can end his bloodrage as a free action. When the bloodrage ends, he's fatigued for a number of rounds equal to twice the number of rounds spent in the bloodrage. A bloodrager cannot enter a new bloodrage while fatigued or exhausted, but can otherwise enter bloodrage multiple times during a single encounter or combat. If a bloodrager falls unconscious, his bloodrage immediately ends, placing him in peril of death. Bloodrage counts as the barbarian's rage class feature for the purpose of feat prerequisites, feat abilities, magic item abilities, and spell effects.

Fast Movement (Ex): A bloodrager's land speed is faster than is normal for his race by 10 feet. This benefit applies only when he is wearing no armor, light armor, or medium armor, and not carrying a heavy load. Apply this bonus before modifying the bloodrager's speed due to any armor worn or load carried. This bonus stacks with any other bonuses to the bloodrager's land speed.

Bloodline (Draconic - Blue)
Claws (Su): At 1st level, you grow claws. These claws are treated as natural weapons, allowing you to make two claw attacks as a full attack, using your full base attack bonus. These attacks deal 1d6 points of damage each (1d4 if you are Small) plus your Strength modifier. At 4th level, these claws are considered magic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. At 8th level, the damage increases to 1d8 points (1d6 if you are Small). At 12th level, these claws deal an additional 1d6 points of damage of your energy type on a hit.

Senza Veshki was born to a large family of Varisian entertainers. His family traveled in a large caravan of merchants, warriors, entertainers, and everything else you can imagine. Senza was the second child of his parents, proceeded only by his older sister Allegrezza. His family grew quickly though. His parents giving him 4 younger sibling to care for. Luckily, Senza's parents had help. Senza's Grandmother, Uncle, Aunt, and two much older cousins all traveled in the same caravan tending to his family. Senza was born in the cool month of late September. He seemed a normal child, until his first year when a harrowing was performed over the infant child. The seer proclaimed that Senza would be afflicted by a curse, born in his blood. That his blood would drive him mad, and eventually lead to his untimely death. Senza's family knew it could mean only one thing. In ancient times, near the beginning of our family's history. One of the Veshki ancestors slew a dragon and stole its blood. Since that time, the Veshki have produced a long line of sorcerers born with innate magic in their blood, but it was foretold that one in each generation had to pay a price for the power in their blood. Those that bear the curse would be driven mad by their blood. They would become little more than wild dogs howling at the moon when enraged. Senza's parents hid the truth of his harrowing from him until he came of age, allowing him to grow a normal life.
As a child, Senza grew quickly, becoming a strong, able bodied youth. His elder sister, only 2 years his senior was quickly outmatched by the strong youth. Her talents lied in her agility, not her strength. Both children though, shared a strong charismatic appeal that made each a natural leader. Senza and Allegrezza (Allie, as he alone called her.) were natural rivals in everything they did. They turned every task into a competition, always seeking to outdo the other.
As Senza grew into adolescence, he was randomly selected from the children in the caravan to serve as the personal aid to their caravan's Leader, Forzando Tenerezza. Forzando, was born deaf. He learned to communicate through other means, a sign language that many in this caravan learned to speak with their leader. He needed an aid to speak to those outside the caravan. In his old age though, Forzando eyes had begun to give out. He needed a new, younger aid, who could help him not only in communication, but also in his daily tasks. He consulted the caravan's harrower, who in turn predicted that Senza should be that aid, much to Allie's chagrin.
As they grew into adulthood, Allie became an accomplished sorceress. When she came of age, she left the caravan to travel on her own and develop her magic. She severed all ties with her family during that time.
Senza, stayed with the caravan after he came of age, taking care of Forzando. His duties were vast, from trade agreements, to travel rites, he was even trained to fight to protect Forzando from bandits and other attackers. When he fought he could feel his blood pumping a darkness in him, a rage that would take him until the battle was through. He could maintain some control, but it terrified him. He knew this was only a precursor of the madness to come.
When Forzando took ill, the caravan gathered together to see him off. Even Allegrezza returned to the family to wish him off as he journeyed into the next world. On Forzando's deathbed, Forzando bequeathed unto Senna a book, locked and sealed by some unknown magic. Forzando passed soon after. He never explained what was in the book, but Senza knew it was important.
Allegrezza cornered Senza demanding to know what was in the book. He honestly didn't know, but she seemed driven. The years away from the caravan had born a darkness in her. She lusted for power, a power she though the book could give her. Senza refused to tell her, or even show her the book. Allegrezza became enraged by his refusal and cast a spell upon Senza. Senza fell asleep, as her spell demanded and awoke hours later. He learned Allie had stolen his book and set off. The caravan she fled upon was leading into the Mindsong Mountains, in a town called Trunau. Senza followed after her, hoping he could find her trail, and her, before she disappeared forever.

Senza is a short but sturdy young man at 26. His clothes fit loosely and hide his muscular build. He always dresses with a scarf around his neck, and a second tied around his britches as a makeshift belt. He has a tattoo on his upper right arm of a dragon coiled around his arm lunging to bite his neck. A reminder of his curse and inevitable fate. He always keeps this tattoo covered. Senza has brown hair and muddy brown eyes that are eerily deep. He has a boyish face and carefree attitude that masks the darker nature in his soul.

Senza's blood runs cold as he hears the scream. "By the gods what was that!" Senza turns and audibly gasps at the scene before him. "Where am I? How did I get here?" When the creature speaks to him, Senza isn't sure how to respond at first. "No use trying to get out of here. I wouldn't even know where to go if I escaped. I need to buy my time."

Senza flashes a charming smile, "Greetings stranger from a stranger. If it's a tale you seek then you chose the right story teller. See I'm what we humans call a Virisian, and I tell you, there are no greater story tellers in all of Golarian than Virisians."

Senza eyes the man as he approaches with a friendly smile. [b]"Greetings to you stranger. It seems you have me at a disadvantage. I seek rumors of a different sort. I've only come to town seeking a girl. The only payment I need is information on where she went when she left this bar. Unfortunately, I cannot at this time accept any other form of payment as any delay in my journey could cause me to lose her trail for good." Senza turns in the stool facing the man.

"Though, if you did have the information I seek. I would owe a very large debt to whomever provided it to me, and as I'm sure the rumors have told you, I always repay my debts for every copper and more."

Senza jumps, startled by the door slamming behind him. "Magic on the door. Great. Just great. Allie, what have you gotten me into now. Robbing some tomb for some ancient wizards talisman or something? I guess I'll find out when I catch up to you, and god help that merchant if he lied about you coming here."

Senza eyes the statues and the door. "Well, this is a trap. I swear I hate magic sometimes. The only real question is, how do I get past it. All truth and all lies. A tomb and a mansion." Senza gets an idea as he replays the message in his head. "If this is a mansion, maybe there are still servants. I'm either right or I spring the trap, but standing here isn't getting me any closer."

Senza calls out to the gargoyle, and the mysterious voice, "Greeting, my name is Senza Veshki. I thank you, Arlanghar, for welcoming me into your home, and allowing me to pay respects in your tomb. I come not to disturb, only to find my sister Allegrezza Veshki. May I enter?"

3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 1) = 5
3d6 ⇒ (5, 4, 1) = 10
3d6 ⇒ (6, 4, 5) = 15
3d6 ⇒ (5, 1, 5) = 11
3d6 ⇒ (6, 6, 5) = 17
4d6 ⇒ (1, 2, 3, 5) = 11

Being one of Halgra's children is a cool concept I hadn't considered. Also glad to see a half-orc not immediately named outcast due to his ancestry.

Thanks! I thought it a great hook and natural way to insert Tharok into the fabric of Trunau. It also allowed me to play up Tharok's growing problems with stability and authority, which ultimately helped lead him to his life as a ranger.

Any thoughts on what tribe the orc warband belonged to?

I had thought them an emissary group from the Broken Spine orcs operating out of the foothills of the Mindspin Mountains. They were heading to Belkzen to represent their tribe's interests in an upcoming gathering.

What is Tharok's relationship like with his many half-siblings?

Complicated. There are enough distinct individuals that he is closer to some than to others, and he had the strange experience of being the youngest but as a half orc maturing the quickest. As such, he loves them all, thinks of them as his true tribe, but finds their company at times overwhelming.

Large families tend to create roles for their members to play, and it can be incredibly hard to change your family's perception of you. Only in the past year have they all begun to see Tharok as more than just as troubled youth, and respect him as a mature adult who benefits the community.

Thanks for taking the time to review!

I have fleshed out the early childhood a bit. The village I describe isn't supposed to line up with one on a map but be a random little village of no more than 50-100 in the mountain foothills. Nevertheless, the general idea of where it should be should be more plain to see.

I apologize for the their, there, they're flop. I blame the spellcheck at work and trying to get it written and not timed out while working lol. I endeavor to not mix those three up.

I have substituted in another Dwarf trait from the list provided. I apologize or mixing up the meaning in the trait.

Please give it another look at your leisure :)

I'll be spoilering this with each character review that I perform. As mentioned previously, there will be a total of Six Characters selected for this game. As a sort of compromise and an attempt to make it fair for newcomers, I'll only be holding three slots in reserve for previous PbP acquaintances. The remaining three slots will be a FFA for all submissions. Having said that, it will probably help to explain my own criteria for these submissions as I review them.

While going through and reviewing a character, I'm going to be looking at a few things in particular:

Quality/Quantity of content, the former receiving more emphasis. Terse descriptions and character backgrounds are not likely to win me over. Perfunctory descriptions of who your parents were and where your character came from are not likely to win me over. After reading through your character, I should have a good idea of what kind of person they are—their drives, motivations, goals, and fears.

Writing style. Is it easy to read? Is it fun to read? I prefer things that are easy to understand. Proper punctuation and grammar (or at least in the ballpark) are also things I'll look for. I'm far from perfect myself, but it's easier to read things that are written correctly.

Does it fit the story? This game will be a grim take on Golarion, and begins with foundations in Trunau. I will be looking for submissions that fall in line easily with this style of game, and fit easily into the story's beginning.

Will the character fit the narrative mold being formed by other accepted submissions? I hope to have a well-rounded group that encourages interactions, and will make selections accordingly.

Finally, do the mechanical pieces of the character pass muster? I'll admit, I won't be putting much stock in this. So long as things check with a quick read through, it should be fine. I will be doing one final pass of this when I have made my selections.

The 2nd Scenario spoiler appears to be broken. And I see no Personality entry on the sheet. I'll need access to both before I give the character a full review.

Glancing at the sheet, I'd recommend allowing an empty space between each paragraph. It's harder to read as is.

You paint a very clear picture of Davok despite not including an exhaustive backstory. Well done.

Davok's attributes translate over well into the fluff.

Curious as to why you elected to go with Neutral instead of Chaotic Neutral, being a fervent Gorumite.

I'm totally fine with submissions not including exhaustive background details. It's more about the presentation. A full-on character history will likely have me prodding for more details. Davok above is a good example of an alternative: conveying character through story snippets. I would be perfectly willing to entertain other styles of applications. Ballads about the character, poetry, second-hand accounts, or even a Tarantinoesque out-of-order jumble of events that eventually contribute to a collective whole.

Having said that, and while Qytheerah's background snippet is well written and evocative, I would welcome another that expands on the character a little more, perhaps a glimpse of her adulthood in Trunau.

Crunch looks good, except her melee damage should be +4 instead of +3 from a two-handed weapon.

3d6 ⇒ (1, 1, 2) = 4
3d6 ⇒ (3, 3, 2) = 8
3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 4) = 8
3d6 ⇒ (2, 5, 2) = 9
3d6 ⇒ (5, 3, 4) = 12
4d6 ⇒ (1, 4, 4, 3) = 12

The town has assisted, but between their own duties and his duties to the Patrols, that while he's gone they help, but they have their own lives as well. As for fine detail, I assume you want some more information to his life in Trunau and his work in the Patrols, as well as raising his sister, yes? I can add more such as a relationship section with his sister and key peoples in Trunau in it.

Senza eyes the man approaching with a friendly smile. "Greetings stranger. It seems you have me at a disadvantage, I have heard no rumors on you. My name is Senza. I appreciate the kind words."

Senza takes the horn of mead and pushes it gently back to the man, returning his gift. "Unfortunately, I am on a mission of my own right now. I am searching for a girl and time is of the essence. I regret that no copper, silver, or gold could persuade me off my mission. The only form of payment I could accept for any task right now is information."

Senza turns in his stool facing Ingmund and looking into his eyes, making sure the man is listening. "Now if someone offered me information that lead me to this girl. I would be very grateful." Senza pauses to place emphases on the next word, [b]"No, I would be indebted. And, since you have heard so many rumors about me, I'm sure you know that I always repay my debts. Every copper and more."

3d6 ⇒ (6, 4, 2) = 12
3d6 ⇒ (5, 2, 2) = 9
3d6 ⇒ (1, 4, 6) = 11
3d6 ⇒ (6, 4, 5) = 15
3d6 ⇒ (4, 3, 6) = 13
4d6 ⇒ (2, 6, 1, 2) = 11

I identified the orc tribe as the Broken Spine. I'll develop a little more story describing the feud between them and Janderhoff.

I added the following paragraph to the end of his backstory to address half-orcs:
"Dvalin aligned with the Trunau hatred of orcs when he arrived. Over the years, he has adopted the view that half-orcs are victims of orc aggression like himself. As such, he actually possesses an affinity for half-orcs with what little empathy remains within him."

•It's cool to see a dwarf groomed to lead rather than doing all the bashing and cleaving himself.
glad you like it - I think it'll be fun to play the guy who SHOULD be leading but almost doesn't want to.....

•Backstory is easy to read, but a bit bare on the details. Who are the oracles and what did they predict? Who were his men?
will flesh it out over the weekend - ideas are in the brain, just have to drag them out.

•There's a good outline here, enough to get an impression, but not a lot of specific details to really nail down the character.
His personality is definitely a bit of a work in progress...I want to try and balance the line between taking charge and suddenly mid-decision start second guessing himself. Ultimately I want him to have the capacity to become a gret leader but at the beginning of the career his biggest obstacle is him own self doubt.

•I'm not sure Talthon qualifies for Ferocious Loyalty -- it seems to be restricted to werebears and their ilk.
thought I asked if it was OK to take that, my bad if I forgot to do that. I really like that feat, wanna give him a werebear bite?

no? OK, I'll grab another one and include that change in my update this weekend.