In theory, I'll be back down to only one shift a day, but considering I'm alone when there is supposed to be a trainee here, I'm not holding my breath.
Perhaps Tyreal is even more annoyed with the "boardgameyness" that has been going on than I am.
Dear Selena,
A reminder you've joined a pre existing group and game. You have voiced your displeasure at the current state of the game. No one has rallied to your battle cry that I have observed. Your choices it would seem to me are accept the game as it is and derive what enjoyment you can from it or if you can't stomach how terrible we all are consider leaving.
Not everyone enjoys games in the same way, there is no shame in leaving a group if it’s not the right fit for you, there are many games on the forum perhaps you will enjoy more. I have left games that haven’t clicked for me. I have had players leave my games as well. That’s life and with my big boy pants on I can live with that. To be clear I am not saying you have to leave, but trying to browbeat the group into changing to play how you want to play hasn’t been working.
I would request you stop- well it looks like you are fishing for an argument honestly. I will not engage you further on this line of discussion. If you feel the need to voice an objection consider a different tone. Something more constructive rather than imperious.
Sincerely,
Bulvi
I'm not try to argue the group needs to change.
My point was that perhaps Tyreal didn't like it and just left without bothering to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to a group you don't like gaming with is a bit of a rare thing in internet land.
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In Cassomir, Three Years Ago, before she was Quasit...
"I thought you weren't coming."
"I didn't think I was. I still don't want to be here. But I have to. I guess a part of me needs to actually see this. I mean... part of me still can't believe it's true."
Colin snorted and leaned back against the chimney, then looked over.
"I told you they wouldn't let you in to see him." he said quietly, almost gently.
Mina squirmed as if he'd just grabbed her arm, then walked up to the edge of the roof. The square was about half full, maybe a hundred people, maybe less.
"Nobody even cares. Why do they have to do it in public if no one even cares any more?"
Colin smiled privately and shook his head.
"You know as well as I do, Min. It doesn't have anything to do with those people down there. You think the magistrates are interested in entertaining people? It doesn't even really have anything to do with Nardo or Groetus. Not really. They do it for themselves. To prove to their patrons how tough and ruthless they are. Nardo should be glad they're only hanging him."
Mina looked around angrily. Colin's face was cold and impassive, the smile absolutely mirthless. Superior. She shook her head in disbelief.
"You don't care either, do you? Desna's tits Colin, he's your brother too."
He looked squarely back at her. "He's an idiot. He's always been weak and stupid and he's getting what he deserves. He'd tell you the same thing, I bet."
"So what?! she answered, even more angry now. They just looked at each other in silence, then she turned away and waved a hand at him dismissively.
"What? Say it. You might as well, Min. You're going to eventually anyway. You're too lippy to just drop it."
She whirled around and walked over to him, speaking quietly and intensely to him.
"You know what? You're right. Nardo is weak, and he is stupid. But he was also the sweetest most sensitive person I've ever known, and it's killing me to think they're gonna hang him down there in a few minutes in front of all those gawking lowlifes who are hoping he's going to shit himself and squirm for 10 minutes. He got confused and did some awful things. So have you and I. But I still pity him."
Colin smirked. "I knew it. This is about you. It usually is when you really get worked up. Hell's bells Min, you and I aren't saints, but he joined a cult and he helped to kidnap people and sell them into slavery in the Darklands. That's f##*ing evil. So don't give me this sweet and sensitive business. Nobody made him do all that. And nobody is making you do anything either for that matter, so don't pull this guilty garbage. You chose this life, and you love it."
"I hate it."
"Then quit."
"And do what, Colin? Watch dad drink himself to death all day? Marry one of those clowns down there and have his children? Or maybe just starve?"
'You could find honest work. But you don't want to wash clothes or scrub floors or cook or anything like that. No, you want some charming man to come along and sweep you off to somewhere exotic and treat you like a princess--"
"-- Dammit, don't say it--"
"--just like our whore of a mother."
Mina just looked at him, lips tight, eyes tense. And after a moment the tears came, rolling down her stony face. She looked away and covered her eyes with one hand.
"Are you happy now?" she said miserably. "Are you glad you said it? Again?
"Tell me I'm wrong." he said bitterly.
"I. Can't." she answered savagely, like she was biting the air. She shrugged and shook her head. "That's why I hate it when you say it."
There was a sound of cartwheels on the cobblestones below. Colin stood up straight again and took a step forward. "They're coming."
For the next 10 minutes they just watched it happen. The wagon came, and four men were led off onto the platform. She could see her brother, but she was sure he couldn't see her. He wasn't even trying to. He was mostly looking at his feet. He looked utterly defeated.
"You think they beat him?" she asked quietly.
"Why would they? He would have told them everything they wanted to know." he answered in a ghostly voice, as if he were seeing Nardo do it. She nodded.
There was a cleric of Pharasma officiating. She was speaking to the prisoners one at a time. The first prisoner wouldn't even look at her. Nardo was second, and he looked up and listened to what she had to say, then nodded, then leaned in and let her hug him. There was some laughter from the crowd. Mina felt her throat tighten and she choked back a sudden sob. She clenched her hands into fists and pushed them against her mouth to hold it in.
After that it became a bit of a blur. Thankfully he died quickly. He was left to hang for 3 days, then the city cut him down and buried him in a pit outside the city with no marker.
Mina didn't go home for five days after the execution. She followed the cleric of Pharasma back to her temple, and managed to swipe the woman's coin purse, then went back in the front of the temple to donate the money to the goddess. It didn't make any sense, but it made her feel a bit better. Then she went down to the waterfront and fished for several hours until it got too dark to see, after which she went over to Elaundra's brothel and played poker with 3 gnomes for most of the night, and made enough to have room and board in the basement of the place for five days. During that time, she spent time with the other girls, laughing and drinking and dancing and swapping stories and generally escaping everything. For some reason Elaundra let her do it, as she always did. Some of the men flirted with her, but Mina mostly was left alone -- she was dressed in pants and a tunic and had her short messy hair hanging in her face half the time, so it was clear she wasn't one of the employees. And the whole five days, she only cried once, when she was particularly tipsy and was alone for a few minutes in the outhouse, and the sounds of the crickets combined with the darkness made her think of what it must be like for poor Nardo, hanging there in the square, alone and despised by the whole world. Except her. And that's why she cried. She wanted to tell him that she forgave him, that she understood it was just all a stupid mistake, and that she would miss him. And for a moment, the sentimentality just got the better of her. But by the time she was done wiping, the moment had passed.
When she finally went home, her father was making bacon for breakfast. He was actually sober. He looked back at her and smiled shyly, and beckoned her over with his stump. She went to him and he hugged her tightly and she hugged him back even tighter.
"It's hard." he said.
"Everything's hard." she answered.
He kissed her on the top of her head, then lifted her chin to look at him. "Including you?"
She smiled weakly. Then she scrunched her face into a tough expression and nodded. "You bet."
He mussed her hair. "That's my girl. Hungry?"
"As a wolf."
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Just a head's up, I'll be on a cruise next week from Monday afternoon till Friday morning. I'll be posting up until I leave...and might be able to post a time or two from the ship but that's been hit and miss for me in the past. If y'all could bot me as needed in that timeframe, I'd appreciate it...
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I was waiting to see if things halted before being a fight, but nooo, Fin had to go and attack anyway, like we're in a dungeon in video game or something.
Believe me, I am actually in a great deal of sympathy with your sentiment here, though I have absolutely no doubt that my character is doing the right thing in this situation, both for character/story reasons and for player/tactics reasons. That is something our characters are likely about to hash out in game (once again) and as a fellow player I encourage Selena to stick to her guns if she truly believes what she says is true. Personally, as a player, I welcome the chances to resolve encounters with diplomacy when feasible and I appreciate thinking outside the box. Role-playing is about telling a story, not about body count.
All that being said, I would just ask Selena's player to be careful about making unfriendly comments about fellow players impugning their gaming choices. We can disagree, perhaps strongly, but we should do it in character.
Our party is stronger with Selena's skills. Just now we wouldn't have cracked the mirror/key puzzle so quickly without her. And it gives spice to the interplay to have her divergent perspective about the white witches, which is unquestionably interesting. I'd hate for us to lose that over hard feelings between players.
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I will say this, over all the Forlarren actually was put into initiative however as it states in the book "She will not attack unless she sees you as a threat to the tower" on top of that she's a coward at heart, she literally would have preferred to run away then fight.
With THAT said Quasit probably wouldn't have believed anything that the Forlarren would have said and wanted to stab her anyways, after all coincidence she was at the tower? *shrugs* Quasit has seen her share of issues falls, deaths to learn to only rely on her immediate sources, at least that is how I am seeing her.
the real reason why she was there is actually kinda neat, she was playing music for the now invisible creatures routine, she actually could have escaped and made it easier for you, and some other things could have made it harder on you all, I am following this how everything is playing out and keeping notes for sections that may involve certain people.
Don't worry, my comment about him messing up my plans was meant to be amusing, nothing more. Sorry if it didn't come across right. Talking in person is hard enough, text is way worse.
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A year ago, one night in Absalom...
Nevar looked down. They were holding hands. He seemed frozen.
"Please say something." she said.
He kept looking down, but a slight smile favored his tanned face.
"This isn't exactly how I expected this reunion to go." he said quietly.
She looked at him. At that moment she loved him perhaps more than she ever had, because she could feel his heart disintegrating within him -- she knew exactly what he felt, and it overwhelmed her with feeling for him. Her throat was tying itself in a knot. She thought she might start making choking noises at any moment. When she spoke again, it was with effort, her voice was low and strained.
"Do you hate me now?" she said, looking shyly at him.
"No... no, I don't hate you..." he said, still quietly. He was still looking down, holding her hands. "Maybe I should. Maybe that will come later. But not right now." He squeezed her hands suddenly. "Why?" he asked, throwing the word out like punch. And finally he looked up at her, his dark eyes burning with pain and disappointment.
She had known this was coming. She had known for weeks. She had imagined all the ways she would try and explain herself, the way she would soften it, or downplay it. But somehow, in that moment, with him looking at her like she'd just slit his throat, all she could do was shrug feebly.
"I don't know... you weren't here... I ... Nevar, it wasn't your fault. It was nothing you did. I was weak and stupid and lonely. That's all."
He stood up now and walked across the room. She froze, sensing the anger rising in him. He would never hurt her, not even now, but collateral damage was not out of the question, and in a mage it could take unpredictable forms. He crossed his arms quickly. Even from behind she could sense him pinching his face like he did when he was fighting down his emotions. She stood up too.
"Maybe I should just go," she said miserably. He whirled around, strode back to her and grabbed her by the arms. His voice came out of him like blood oozing from a wound.
"Mina! Did I miss something somewhere along the way? You emptied your soul to me, and I emptied mine to you. You told me that you needed me like breathing. Do you remember that? I love you. The curves of your body are the music of my soul. Your face is the moon illuminating my dreams. I thought you felt the same. When we made love, that last night before I left, you trembled for ten minutes afterwards. That's when you said it to me. That you needed me like breathing."
"And then you left. For six months. Because the Pathfinders wanted you to rob some tomb in Tian Xia!" she said, in sudden anger and frustration. "And here I was, kicking my heels in Absalom, waiting for you to come back. No word. I'd walk along that damn wall by the Grand Lodge, reading all those names... I actually saw them adding some names one day, and it took me hours to work up the courage to go see if it was you."
"Mina, I was on a boat most of the time I was gone. How could I send word to you? You knew it was going to be like this. We talked about it. What could I have done? You know that while we're on missions like this, we can't send letters. We have too many enemies, looking for ways to compromise us."
"I know, I know..." she said, twirling around out of his grasp and looking up at the ceiling.
They were silent for a moment. Neither quite knew what to say. Nevar's anger was still there, trying to push its way out, she could feel it. Gods, it was still like they shared a soul.
"So tell me about him. Do you love him?" he asked, too evenly. It made her chuckle ruefully.
"I haven't seen him in weeks, actually. His name is Lomas. He's Ulfen. He looks pretty much exactly like you'd expect. Not my type at all, to be honest."
"I figured he'd be a half-orc. You always used to say you had a thing for them."
"Only when I'm drunk," she said, holding up a finger.
"So. Lomas the Ulfen warrior. I'm picturing furs and a great sword. And not drunk, then?"
"Oh I was drunk. I was drunk a lot. But I knew what I was doing. When it mattered anyway. He was nice. He caught me at a low moment and just wanted to cheer me up. I threw myself at him. Never even mentioned you. I was obsessed with him for about two weeks. Then someone told him about you and me and he got mad. And then the spell just kinda broke, and neither one of us ever really wanted to see the other one ever again. You know, I can't even entirely remember what he looks like."
Nevar was silent, clenching his fists. He was shaking his head slowly as she spoke, disbelief playing across his face. Finally he spoke again, bitterly.
"So we squeezed out the most exquisite vintage of love, aged over months of hardships and tenderness and intimacy, to be sipped and savored for a lifetime between us. And then one day you poured it into a trough for a pig and tossed the bottle away."
That one hurt. It wasn't like that at all, and he knew it. But she shrugged resentfully and scuffed her foot.
"Pretty much." she said. Her face suddenly twisted in consternation. This conversation felt like a trap. "You were never tempted? The whole time you were gone?"
"Tempted?" he said, slightly bewildered. "Would it matter if I had been? Would that excuse it? But since you ask - no. I wasn't. You are the foundation stone of my heart, don't you understand that? My happiness is bound up in you. To even think of betraying that... no, no temptation can touch me."
She looked at him with the faintest of hope. "Can I fix it? I know I ruined everything, but... maybe we can find it again? I still love you Nevar, I really do."
"And what happens next time I'm sent on a mission? Mina, we were going to be Pathfinders together. We were going to explore the world and learn all its secrets together. We should be doing all this as a team. But I come home and find out that you left the Society almost the moment I left the harbor, and then I find that in a moment of boredom you shacked up with some other man. I mean... hell and damnation woman, were you just doing it all to humor me?"
"No! No, I meant to stick with it, I really did. But it just didn't work out. All those classes and strange people barking orders and bizarre tests. And on our first mission, we get sent off to kill people who are just like me! They just happened to be in a slightly different organization. There was this gnome who had summoned some monster from another plane, and he had it just rip some poor man to shreds, and I just thought 'Gods above, a few months ago, that might have been me, guarding my own guild's turf.' And for what? To get some political dirt for some information broker who calls himself a Venture Captain, whatever that is. I mean... I wanted to do something important. You know, save the world from demons and dark elves and things. But it turns out I was just joining a new Thieves Guild. Just a bigger one."
Nevar nodded. "So that's it. You were mad. You had to prove something. You knew it would ruin everything, but you had to do it anyway. In a fit of pique."
That sounded too close to the truth. She just shrugged. He shook his head and gathered up his cloak.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "This is your room. I'll go if you want me to. Just say that ... you know, that we aren't going to do anything definite and final here. I've shocked you. You're hurt. You need to think it all through. I know you Nevar."
"I'm going to go request another mission." he said, his voice suddenly cold and empty. It froze her. For the first time, he'd surprised her. He put his hand on the door latch, then looked back at her.
"At least when your mother ran off, she did it for love." He thought a moment. "Maybe that's why love scares you so much."
He went through the door and was gone.
She went and sank into a chair, looking at the door. She felt like vomiting. Her head was buzzing and hot. For a moment, she considered drawing her short sword across her own neck. It seemed like there was no way out of this humiliation. This mess. It was all ruined. Everything. She had nothing. No one.
But no, that would only make her look even more foolish. It was time to move again. Maybe someday she'd come back. He'd never completely forgive her, he was too pure and absolute, but maybe they could at least be comfortable old former lovers, who could laugh and drink and not feel like dying when they looked at each other. But that was going to take time.
An hour later, she was on a ship that would be bound back to Cassomir, of all places. As she stood on the deck, waiting for the tide to go out, looking back at the docks of Absalom, she found herself fighting the urge to laugh...
I apologize for my disappearance. Life got crazy. I am working 7 days a week and yet I remain hanging by a thread and nearly homeless (the extra holiday hours went entirely to ambulance bills). With little food and completely exhausted, pbp was my escape, yet I can't reliably focus on even that anymore.
I have therefore decided to quit pbp gaming entirely and in my spare scraps of time, I will instead devote to writing my hexchess and heavily modded d20 system, and perhaps a few supplements like my Ringlord class.
My hope is to earn enough to at least have a day off every week.
I will likely check in on the boards every once in a while, but not that often.
A few thing came up this weekend which was set to be quite busy as it was (including my car breaking down) so free time for PBP hasn't been in abundance. I will be posting tomorrow in all my games.
I'm sorry for your loss.