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Corrupt the Wish

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3,101 to 3,140 of 3,140 << first < prev | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | next > last >>
Shadow Lodge

granted, you get the "nicest" pair of boots in the world, you found them when you went fishing. It was a wild catch!!!

i wish i knew how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

Granted, it chucks itself entirely, now you no have woodchuck anymore.

I wish for +2 dogcleaver.


Granted but it curses you to the point of every ability score being a 1, your saves and BAB are always at -5 and a Nat 20 is an auto fail, and you are always at 1st lvl and 1 out 1 possible HP. And your movement is limited to 5 foot steps, meaning that you are blocked by difficult terrain.

We wish for meat lovers pizza, a bottle of scotch, and a cheesy 80s action movie marathon.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pawns Subscriber


A trash can appears with a full pizza scattered throughout medical waste.

A large man in a kilt walks up and hands you an authentic scottish bottle.

Every TV you turn on for the rest of time plays Cobra (starring Sylvester Stalone.)

I wish for a glass of clean water.

Silver Crusade

Granted, however on your journey through the desert and, against all odds not only do you drop it, but a strike of lightning (somehow) misses you by inches and turns the sand around the glass into... glass. You can see the water, bubbling from the heat under a layer of lightning glass.

I wish to get and keep the job I want.


Granted. You have the job you currently want, and are stuck in it forever, and never promoted.

I wish the whole thing.


The hole thing happens, leaving your house, neighbourhood, workplace and gym in gigantic mudholes that suddenly spring up.

I wish the next poster would wish what I wanted, cause I'm lazy like that.

Granted, you wished for a new hat in similar fashion. Except it's barbie-pink and there's a button that, when pushed, produces the sickeningly sweet tune of My Little Pony.

I wish Mystic Lemure would be there to comfort Sissyl after that experience.

Granted. He comforts her by performing all manner of entertaining atrocities upon you (note: they are not nearly so entertaining to you) over the course of several weeks, without interruption.

I wish I had everything I need.

The GoatToucher notice everything was broken/spoiled/ of no use.

I wish goblins be able to dodge everything.


They can dodge everything-Even the ground they stand on. All goblins are now floating in nothingness.

I wish kitsunes could transform into every humanoid.

Shadow Lodge

granted, but when they do it they are always diminutive size and gain no bonuses

I wish for the ability to teleport directly to where i want to go without any shennanigans

Granted! You did specify "no shenanigans", and I wouldn't dream of it. Thing is, breaking physical laws of motion is really what I would call shenanigans, so whenever you teleport, you keep moving at the exact same velocity you had. This will not be obvious at first, but the first time you try for a longer range... flingggg!!!

I wish he'd land on something I don't like.

Granted, he lands on top of a pile of dirty's so stupidly flexible he bounces back, ending on top of your lap, all covered in mud.

I wish someone would take a picture of that result.

Shadow Lodge


the next poster has as much dignity as i do

Shadow Lodge

oops forgot this was not the next poster

anyway.. SELFIES

i wish that there would actually be a good reality show

Granted! There is. It has decent people in it, interesting conflicts, sensible resolutions, no s&#@-flinging, cool environments and even manages to say something fundamental about the human condition to breed understanding among us all.

It is shown once in the 03.45 slot and the cancelled due to lack of viewers.

I wish I knew more about it.

Granted, you now behind-the-scenes details, the details are so horrific to you your brain turns to mush to erase all memories of it.

I wish Murdock, the media enterpreneur, didn't buy out all countries' sports tv and turn them into money-cows for his own overflowing pockets.

Granted. He turns them into money bison instead, so all your metaphorical sports-milk now has hairs in it.

I wish that all the ladies loved me!

Fine, all goblin ladies like you, they like you cooked for pie much.

I wish for the next poster to go hug the poster after them.

Granted. :hugs next poster with Poog wedged between them, the intensity and vigor of the hug causing Poog's bones to crack and his organs to rupture:

I wish this moment could last forever.

Granted! You are now forever poopin

I wish for loose cars and fast women.....wait!

Granted, the cars are so loose a simple push breaks them apart and the women finish their meals before you even start the date's dinner.
Both don't wait for you.

I wish high paladins weren't such stuckup douches.

Granted. Not you only have to -redacted- when you -redacted- so you don't have to worry about -redacted-.

I wish to be faster than ten fast men.

Fair enough, you are fasting even more than the other ten, reducing your bodyweight tremendously.

I wish everybody in the world would switch to eco-friendly power like solar energy and wind energy, thus stopping using oil, gas and other limited resources.

Granted. Enough windmills and solar panels are built to cover everyone's needs. Ufortuneately, every square inch of the planet is now covered and there is no room left for people, forests, or animals and they are forced to live underground. They must drain the lakes of oil and pump it into the oceans so they have enough inhabitable space.

I wish I could be a Pathfinder author.

Granted. You are now Orson Scott Card

I wish I could find a girl with a certain... special... something!

Granted, you find a pretty Thai girl, with one of those....."extra"...things in the nether regions.

I wish my neighbor next door would already move out.

Granted! They now share a space I'm Hiding in Your Closet.

I wish I had the power to win every argument.

Shadow Lodge

Granted! But only if you are trying to justify something you hate because you were mind controlled

I wish for wizards to have huge muscles and machine guns and star in a movie

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted, they are now the splitting image of Rambo, all of them.
However they shoot at good as stormtroopers, despite being the protagonists. Something that's going to get them killed.

I wish kids wouldn't carry knives to school and stab kids to death in schools.
Happened 2 days ago....tragedy..

Shadow Lodge

Granted... They now all have wands of polymorph and transmute others into bugs and step on them

I wish for an end to all moral quandaries

Granted! A one world government forms and issue a copy of Standards & Morals. Deviation from the S&M book will be severely punished.

I wish eating healthy was inexpensive and convenient.


Granted but you have been banned to the sugar and fat sections of each store.

I wish for death by succubi threesome.

Granted. Have you ever heard the term "pegging?"

I wish for a fast car and a caster woman.

The female wizard in her latest Ferrari drive past you with 300 miles per hour, totally ignoring you exist.

I wish i had a conceilable taser gun, which i have a permit for.

Granted. Good news: It's a suppository!

I wish the Wizarding World of Harry Potter were real!


Granted but they all succumbed to the looks of succubi who also became real and now the Harry Potter world is no more.

I wish for the crud on tv to stop being produced.

Granted, but it's replaced by absolute CRAP.

I wish i won the lottery so i could flip off the city.

Granted. While you are busy flipping off the city, some hooligans steal your mattress full of cash.

I wish The Barenaked Ladies would stage a comeback.

3,101 to 3,140 of 3,140 << first < prev | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | next > last >>
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