Corrupt the Wish


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Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. Now they hide and wait for you to accidentally approach them. then they strike.

I wish I was married to a hot super model.


Wish granted. You are married to a supermodel who is always on fire.

I wish that I owned a cool mansion.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. Your mansion resides at the South pole and does not have a heater.

I wish I had a cutting edge computer.
\


Granted! Your computer now has razor sharp Damascus edges. You cut yourself every time you are near it. And, unfortunately, it's not any faster.

I wish that when I spoke a different language, I'd also be able to use the accent that goes with that language.


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Granted. Languages have many regional and cultural accents, however, so the wish defaults to giving you the most riduculously exaggerated version of the poor urban speakers of that language.

Oh, and since English originated in England, your native language now sounds like Bert from Mary Poppins.

"Oi'd bettah put a liddle moah thot inta me wishes frum now on, roight, Merry Pawpins?"

I wish that I had background music appropriate to the situation play wherever I go.


Granted! I think this will work for you whether it's grocery shopping, yoga class, family bbq, or any other just around-town type of excursion.

I wish dogs really did play poker so I could cheat them out of their hard-earned money.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. But they easily catch you cheating and bite you.

I wish I lived in the City of Heroes Universe.


Granted. Given that the servers all shut down years ago, you are wrapped in the cool, loving embrace of oblivion: all your cares dissipating into soothing nothingness.

I wish I knew why.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. But Why turns out to be an a!+$~$+$.

I wish that we had honest reporters.


Granted! But without sensationalism people stop watching, and instead give rise to even more "real" - "reality shows". Get ready for The Real World Grandfathers of Connecticut.

Actually, we all know what Connecticut's for! ;)

I wish I was my own thesaurus instead of having to use an electronic one. How neat cool copacetic b&&&#in that would be!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. But now you are never able to form a coherent sentence because you never can decide which word you want to use.

I wiah everyone a Merry Christmas


Granted. Everyone instantly becomes utterly drunk the moment Christmas Day hits and stays that way for twenty-four hours.

I with everyone a Happy New Year!

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

"with"? I think you have been in the eggnog a bit much. :)

Granted. At Midnight everyone is joyously happy. When they wake up the next morning, then reality hits.

I wish all politicians were under the same curse as was used in "Liar, Liar".


Granted. Sadly it's on their day off.
(On the up side, now wars were started)

I wish i didn't have a christmas carol stuck in my head


Granted! Now you have The Polar Express song stuck in your head now.

I wish I wasn't allergic to so many things.


Granted! You aren't allergic to anything. However...everything is now allergic to you.

I wish I could withstand the cold while neked.


Granted! Now, if you are in any temperature above freezing, you catch fire.

I wish I could wish for a wish that would cancel a wish for a wish.


Granted. Said wish has been canceled.

I wish I could find the Spirit of the Holidays inside myself.

For the purposes of... gratification.


Granted. The Spirit of the Holidays bursts out of you, Alien chestburster-style, and promptly goes on a killing and gift-giving rampage.

I wish the Spirit of the Holidays would stop killing people.


Granted. Krampus has gone home to plot next years rampage.

I wish my dead friend, William Stone, a quick passage to heaven.


Grated! Quick.

I wish burnt offerings were really a secret code for bacon. I require burnt offerings!


Granted. It's burnt to the point it's effectively strips of charcoal.

I wish JTDV would eat that bacon anyway.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. But as he is secretly a dragon, it just stokes his flame and makes it burn hotter.

I wish I could live in outer space.


Granted! But no one lets you in their spacecraft, and you have to watch through the portholes as they go about their daily lives.

I wish my car had infinite reliability!


Granted! It's reliable to always break down at exactly the worst possible moment!

I wish I had a car that never broke down.


Granted. It breaks up, breaks apart, and falls to pieces. But it never breaks down.

This unit wishes people didn't take well-engineered infrastructure for granted.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. If they ever find any they will now praise it.

I wish for immorality.


Uh, granted! You are now subject to immorality. Bad things happen to you. Very bad things. And no justice anywhere in the land!

I wish that I lived in a world of floating land masses with rope bridges and slides connecting them and such.


Granted. The Goblin Monkeys live there. You are one of the monsters down on the surface that eat any that fall to Earth.

I wish my boss was not so mean to me.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. He hands you a pink slip. He is still mean to you, but is no longer your boss.

I wish it was above freezing.


Granted! Freezing is now moved to be thirty degrees colder, and it's now one degree above freezing.

I wish for a tandem-riding dwarf who throws space rocks to visit this thread.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck, Maps Subscriber

Granted. But after proper medication the hallucination fades.

I wish that every day was Friday.

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