Corrupt the Wish

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Granted. That weekend you spent in my "workroom" that you had blocked out so thoroughly? It's back! Enjoy!

I wish I could find someone who loves me -for me-.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted. But it happens to be a Billy Goat.

I wish Fate would stop messing with me.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Fate does stop messing with you, then Death starts messing with you, and you discover that Fate is not worse than Death, that was just propaganda.

I wish the Marvel would put out all of their movies already, I want to know what happens next.

Granted! Marvel heard your request. They went back in time and then put the answers you seek in...comic book format. Now you know! :P

I wish the garbage would take itself out.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted. But it used your credit card and went to an extremely expensive restaurant. And after it got drunk and belligerent, the cost of the meal and damages is over $500.00.

I wish I had enough money to afford a $500 dinner.

Granted! Due to extreme inflation and devaluation of the dollar, your earnings multiply, but a single meal costs about $1000. You still can afford having a cheeseburger and a coke at McDonalds, which costs about $500.

I wish I could get all my ideas put together more easily.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! All two of your ideas now fit in a small, blue, spiral notebook.


I wish we could go around Smiting people as necessary. There are a few drivers this morning that could benefit from a Smiting.

While i agree with such a method, it would undoubtedly fall into the wrong hands.

JTDV should not rule this city, as such available power would cause catastrophees everywhere.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! This thread is now «You should not rule this city!

I wish I ruled this city

1 person marked this as a favorite.


You are now the ruler of your own imaginative city, rejoice.

I wish i did not mix up threads in my prior post.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! Your post has won a spot award* in the Derail this thread thread.

* Please take yourself to dinner and buy anything on the menu. You earned it!

I wish someone would take me out to dinner!

Congratulations! You are now the main course in the Bug eating challenge.

I wish it was easier to create a link.

Hey, I'm not watching that! But your wish is granted!

Don't watch! Save the moths!

Check out the How to format your text button below the post window

Alas, I wish you'd all heed my warnings for crying out loud!

Trust me, I'm not the one doing the crying.

I wish everyone could enjoy the flavor of shame...

Your wish is granted! Everyone tastes like GoatToucher! J/K

I wish I were an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent god king!

Granted! You are now a Dodge Omni.

I wish my baseball team would win a game this season.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! The other team doesn't show up. Still, you are not going to the playoffs.

I wish my friend would get well and come back from the hospital.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted. (No caveats here. Hope he gets better.)

I wish hospitals had no need to exist.

Granted! People no longer get sick or hurt. Even if they still get old, they don't have diseases related to aging.

Wait. Where are the ill consequences? That looked like a good wish...

*Gets to work*
*Finds the hospital closed*

Well, it was a good wish anyway.

I wish a new career that fits the new world without hospitals.

Granted! Your new work is... assasin!

In a world where people no longer get sick or hurt, they live for too long, so economy desestabilizes. Limited resources start to disappear too fast. Governments approve financial cuts in education and social wealthcare, but it's not enough. Famine runs rampant. The next step is to approve laws who decide who is worthy of keep living and who is a burden to the state. Government hit squads are the next logical step.
What a beautiful world!

I wish to rule a world like that!

It reminds me of this

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted. YOu are no longer on Earth. You now rule a planet decending into chaos, and have no one to trust to watch your back, as it is every man for himself.

I wish for a actual 'Clue by 4'


Granted! Your 4 clues are: 1) The professor did it 2) with the candlestick 3) in the laboratory 4) and he liked it that way.

I wish flowers would grow more prolifically than weeds.

Already been granted, dandelions, among others.

I wish for more Torchwood.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! But it's not the Torchwood we all love. In fact, it is a group of goblins torching the woods.

I wish for a Jack Harkness trench coat.

Granted! It comes on a trench collection. Trench Mists hosting Trench Zombies wearing Jack Harkness' Trench Coat. And they are after you.

They take their roles so seriously that they keep coming back to unlife over and over again.

I wish to finish writing my Campaign Journal soon!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! You finish writing your Campaign Journal in 8 million years. Geologically speaking, that's relatively quick.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

That's sooner than I expected.
Granted! Everybody is able to read your mind so your untold wished can be made real.
They also know all your secrets...

I wish JTDV had wished for something...

I still had 7,999,999 years to go before I made my wish.

Granted! I had wished that you could read my mind and figure out that I wanted everybody to read my mind. But getting in my head makes you go mad! Observe:

I wish that animals could speak human speech so that we could just talk about things.

See? Madness!

Granted! By the way, a little bird told me a very embarassing secret or two about you. You should not do that things in front of that little cuties!

I wish for more wenches and mead.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted. You find yourself in 1600s Tortuga. Good luck.

I wish that I always had enough cash to buy what I wanted.

Granted! You always have enough cash to buy anything you want. Except every time you go to purchase something, you are waylaid by bandits and relieved of your cash.

I wish I could dance!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Granted! You can now dance. You just cannot stop dancing.

I wish for world piece.

Granted, here is a world piece for you!
*A mountain falls over you*

I wish for world peas.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted. I've added a planet made of peas to the solar system.

I wish for even more puns!:)

Granted! You are trapped in Deep 6 FaWtL with El gran rey de los mono for life!

I wish for Punniculus to become the one and only god for everybody!

Granted, but his worshippers become gravely ill with mono-theistic-nucleosis, and the economy collapses.

I wish my response to that last wish was funnier.

Grants! A laugh track is added so everybody knows that it was funny.

I wish for better songs in the radio.

Granted! I have taken over the radio. Now there will only be songs praising your beloved leader (me). They are still better than the previous ones, though.

I wish for that thing we don't speak of.

Granted! you receive your very own hard copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special in the mail on blu-ray and DvD.

I wish they had actually put work into that, so that it wouldn't be so bad.

Granted! They put so much work in to it: acting, dialog, special effects, and even a coherent plot that solved everything! It was so satisfactory that the Star Wars universe died right there and everybody was content.

I wish my coffee stayed hot no matter how long I took to drink it.

Granted, here's an everfull cup of scalding coffee. Enjoy 2D4 damage with every sip.

I wish for "Magical Tea Time" to become a ponyfinder module so I can rub a trolls face in it.:)

Granted! You finally get Magical Tea Time as a Ponyfinder module!!! When you go to rub it in the troll's face—an actual troll—you are eaten.

I wish wrestlers and fighters got extra points for $&%!#-talking.

The Concordance

Granted! Unfortunately, none of them have figured out how to pronounce "$&%!#-" yet, so the points will have to come later.

I wish I had the Starfinder core rulebook in my hands!

Where are your hands? Sure, you have it in your hands now. You just have to find them now.

I wish to have a not too busy day at job today.

Granted. You won't have to do any work at all after the spinal injury.

I wish I could prance around the glen, wild and free, as I did in the days of my youth.

Also: I'm naked.

Granted! *Poof* You're now a naked mole rat.

I wish I never looked that up.

P.S. His name is Rufus. I couldn't remember either, but I'd like to spare you from looking up "Kim Possible naked mole rat" because that phrase brings up other things too, depending on how you set up your browser.

Granted. You never looked up "that".

I wish the haters who keep crashing my internet provider with their ransomware would instead devote their lives to silly online chats like this.

Granted. They will now pepper threads on these boards with false links to malware source pages.


I wish I could finally know true friendship.

Granted! Sign up here Profile suggestions include:

Sweet, intelligent man who has no problem taking charge. More of a home-body. Loves animals! Looking for a lady who loves beauty accessories such as belts, cords, and chokers.

I don't see how this could go wrong.

I wish I could predict the future.

Granted! You can predict the future 1 second ahead of time.


"I think I'm going to click the Submit Post button."

<one second later>

You click the Submit Post button.

I wish that I could hover instead of walking.

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