Corrupt the Wish


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Granted, you are the newest character in My little pony, friendship is magic. Friendship is so powerful, you no longer want to hurt anyone.

I wish to also become a character in MLP-FIM.


As goblins know, pictures of you remove bits of your soul. After being plastered across the world on television, you don't have a soul or a personality.

I wish for a pizza.


Sure, here it is. It is moldy and inedible, however.

I wish for Jurassic Bard to make an appearance.
Which also involves him not eating me.


Granted! Jurassic Bard makes an appearance...just not on this thread.

I wish to have a great birthday today


Today shall be a great birthday. But not for you.

I wish that the opposite thing that you grant me happens.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Granted, A paradox forms and destroys the universe, and everything is right with the universe.

I wish to be sad forever.


Wish granted. You are sad forever.

(What? I don't need to add a twist. Being sad forever would suck!)

I wish that this wish didn't have a twist.


Nothing happens. No twist or anything else too.

I wish that the recent spat of paradox creating/anti corruption wishes would end.


Wish granted. The concept of paradoxes disappears from the universe. All games and plots the involve time travel and/or magic are incredibly boring now.

I wish for something fun to happen.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Granted. Everyone experiences it but you.

I wish for for a Pern dragon egg.


Granted! Unfortunately it's not fertilized and therefor will never hatch...it looks good on your mantel though!

I wish that anytime anything I perceive as bad happens to me or those around me that something exponentially better immediately follows for whoever had the bad thing happen to them.


We'll use the exponent of -10.

I wish that I could break the fourth wall.


Wish granted. One of the walls of the building you are currently in collapses, taking the rest of the building with it after a few moments.

I wish that I had a cool-sounding leitmotif that would play whenever I entered a room.


Granted. It is Baby Elephant Walk by Henry Mancini.

I wish I had a certain body part that struck people with wonder and amazement when they looked upon it.


Granted. Your butt is so amazing the Kardashians are trying to keep up with you.

I wish all out of game arguments that last over 30 minutes to be settled by an in game maxed fireball.


Granted, but you always loose said arguments.

I wish my professors would stop assigning me so much work.


Granted! You get kicked out of school for spelling "lose" with an extra o

I wish more people cared about the earth as much as they care about who they believe created it.


Granted, but they differ in their opinions of what is best for the earth and, because their beliefs are so strong, they still fight with each other.

I wish the cute girl I asked to prom in 11th grade had said yes.


Wish granted. The cute girl said yes to the shadowy group that wanted her to have you murdered to fulfill their dark designs.

I wish for a hug.


Sure thing, save for the other being a gelatinous cube.....you are absorbed and digested.

I wish for a big mug of hot chocolate.


Granted, you drown in a massive vat of hot chocolate.

I wish math would be a bit easier.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Granted. All math beyond arithmetic has been erased from the collective consciousness of humanity, and we are unable to ever re-learn it. Science as a whole collapses, and we eventually stagnate due to technology's inability to advance.

I wish I had fairy godparents.


Your fairy godparents also very much enjoy posting to a certain forum about corrupting wishes and very much enjoy practicing on you.

I wish for momentum.


Wish granted! Nothing happens, because the Earth is already careening through space at impossible speeds.

I wish that retailers would at least wait a few days after Thanksgiving before starting with the blatant Christmas advertising.


Thanksgiving has been moved to the day after Christmas. Now you get a whole year of Christmas ads.

I wish for the best Christmas present in the whole world.


Granted. You hear a child's laughter.

All day. Every day. Forever.

I wish I could kill someone, not because I -had- to, but because I -wanted- to.


Sure, but you only would feel the need to kill your imaginary clone.

I wish 2016 brings me lots of luck.


Granted that it brings you 77 years of bad luck.

I wish... for a cup with crispiest cleanest water in it.


Here you go. You should probably specify the size of the cup next time. Good luck finding it. It's about 2 molecules wide.

I wish that 4 was actually 2.


Your four Froghemoths are struck by divine power and turn into Dual Cthulu's.

I wish to have a winning poker hand.


Wish granted! The other players accuse you of cheating afterwards and no one wants to play with you.

I wish for two more wishes.


Granted. Hard of hearing, the grantee hears "tumor wishes" and grants the wishes to the tumors in your body. you suddenly bloat from massive tumors.

I wish to know the winning lottery numbers.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted you now have the knowledge of all the past winning lottery numbers after they have been drawn.

I wish my wife was at home this week instead of in Maine.


Wish granted. You, however, are called to Maine on unrelated business.

I wish I had a little more time.

Editor

Wish granted. Here is a nano-second.

I wish cancer would be cured.


Granted, however in return the black plague is back in full swing and lays waste to the human race.

I wish i could use force lightning and zap people around.


Granted! However Zeus and Thor take turns throwing lightning at you while you weren't paying attention. The constant electric charges hitting you act a defibrillator set to max being used on a two year old child.

I wish I could think of a shorter way of saying that. >.> lol


Use the commands called: [smaller] and [/ smaller]!

I wish I could type faster than a speeding bullet can do the reverse tango.


granted. you manage to type the letter A, but stand in the way of the speeding bullet doing the tango and are shot in the hand, preventing you from fully realizing your true super-hero potential.

I wish there wasn't a first time for everything.


Granted... Your wish disappears with all the firsts thus negating the wish.

I wish for the anime 'X' to make sense.


Granted. In an alternate dimension, the anime "X" makes sense. In this dimension, all you understand is "Y".

i wish to have a greater understanding of a priori & A Posteriori, while experiencing the knowledge learned before comprehension.


Granted. You are transported 4.5 billion years back in time as the earth is forming, allowing you to 'experience' the earth cooling, just like you learned the knowledge of it back in science class, but before you chronologically 'comprehended' it.

I wish everyone finally learned which came first, the chicken or the egg.


Wish granted! The rocket-powered fist came first.

I wish that alignment threads are no longer polarizing.


Granted, they polarize shorter in length.

I wish Iceland hadn't lost to France. :)


Wish granted! France just beat Iceland at the World Snail Racing Competition!

I wish to become the most powerful Thread Necromancer of all time!


Granted, you can now do transplants for wool.

I wish for my wishlist


Granted. You have a pristine copy of the list.

I wish for an unholy army of the night to do my bidding.


Sure.

No longer do you have to go to the auction house, as your undead servants do the artifact acquiring for you.

I wish for global warming not having happened.


Granted, you are now trapped in Donald Trump's disturbed mind.

I wish all the Bernie Sanders supporters to vote for Hillary and start preparing for Bernie in 2024.


Goth Guru wrote:
Granted, you are now trapped in Donald Trump's disturbed mind.

I'm a foreigner, no way he'd let me, even if i wanted to.

Send over GoatToucher to do that. :)

Sure...i think?
All Bernie fans vote the yet unknown Hillary Hooks, making another Hillary beat Clinton. Unfortunately this leaves the structure in sudden disarray, prepping for Bernie won't be on their first to do list for the time being.

I wish GoatToucher took every dictator into his special dungeon, so we'd not see either on the surface world.

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