Why is no one wearing pants?

[TriOmegaZero]

Xuttah wrote:

Name Violation wrote:

We have headband/helm, eye, throat, shoulders, body, cloak/armor, belt, boot, and 2 ring slots, but why no legs slot? is everyone runnin around like in reign the conqueror and 300 with speedo's on? where are magical pants and a pants/legs slot?

I think the contents of this thread are reason enough why there isn't one. :)

My Horny Helm says it's not limited to magical pants...

[Laurefindel]

Pants are already a very powerful magic item in itself: regardless what happens to you, your pants have the property to remain intact (at least above the knees).

You can expend like Hulk or a werewolf and all your clothes are going to burst out the seems, except for the pants...

You can get disintegrated multiple times but as long as you are not a pile of dust yourself, your pants will still be there.

Fall in lava and even your magical sword may melt. Fortunately, your pants are magically fire-proof.

Unlike underpants however, your pants may get slightly frayed, discolored or get a bit smokey... That's why true heroes like batman and superman wear their underpants OVER their pants...

Obviously, some settle for tights instead; a wise middle-ground according to robin hood and the catwoman.

[Studpuffin]

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Short shorts?

Green swim trunks.

And why no moo-moos or hawaiian shirts? Hawaiian shirt of camouflage would be perfect!

[PoorWanderingOne]

Pants of tricks.

But they only produce ferrets.

[w0nkothesane]

I don't think that just because society tells us to wear pants means we should have to! Fight the power! Resist the urge!

Also don't believe in following their mandate that I can't be allowed within 5 miles of a school, it's all just prudish WASP America bringin' us down!

[kroarty]

I'm reminded of my character that had some spells permanency'd onto his clothes (which were not normally subject to permanency); with Mending, Prestidigitation and Endure Elements, I was able to create:

The Self-Cleaning, Self-Repairing, Climate-Immune Leisure Suit.

If you feel your pants slot is going to waste, get creative! Use that slot for a bit of flavor-and just a touch of legitimate in-game usefulness!

[Dragonborn3]

Studpuffin wrote:

My adventurers wear shorts.

Like this young trainer/adventurer?

[Ravingdork]

KnightErrantJR wrote:

Well, I don't think they were ever fully stated up, but Elminster had magic undergarments of some kind in Elminster in Hell. The book never said what they were, just that they were, indeed, magical.

So THAT'S what we never read about him ever going to the bathroom! The magical undergarments likely took care of everything!

[Tessius]

Ravingdork wrote:

KnightErrantJR wrote:

Well, I don't think they were ever fully stated up, but Elminster had magic undergarments of some kind in Elminster in Hell. The book never said what they were, just that they were, indeed, magical.

So THAT'S what we never read about him ever going to the bathroom! The magical undergarments likely took care of everything!

The one time I read that book I was under the impression he really wasn't wearing anything once he fell burning through the sky. Hell his hat even burned up. And considering the number of times he was emasculated, I don't think he would've been able to keep any pants on anyway.

[KaeYoss]

Laurefindel wrote:

Unlike underpants however, your pants may get slightly frayed, discolored or get a bit smokey...

Most adventurers I met couldn't get their underpants from not getting discoloured!

[KenderKin]

who cares about pants!

Why aren't there pasties?

[DeathQuaker]

But what about the poor smurfs? They only have hats and pants!

[Spacelard]

KenderKin wrote:

who cares about pants!

Why aren't there pasties?

I just made pasties!

[KenderKin]

DeathQuaker wrote:

But what about the poor smurfs? They only have hats and pants!

Smurfette had to wear something.

Maybe she had pasties!

Smurfette says
"come and get it"

[Shadowborn]

Pants of Truth A cursed pair of pants. When worn, any verbal deception on the part of the wearer causes the pants to ignite, causing 1d6 points of fire damage plus a burn effect, causing the wearer to incur another 1d6 points of damage every round until the truth is told, or the wearer makes a Reflex save DC15 to extinguish the flames.

[pres man]

For some reason every time your typical adventurer visits a tavern, their pants disappear.

[Davor]

Ya know, as far as I can tell, there's nothing in the RAW that prevents you from doing this. It doesn't say anything about NEEDING to be restricted. In fact, there are specific magic items which state that they are not counted towards the maximum number of magic items one can wear.

In fact, under the Magic Item Creation table, there is a category for items that do not have a space limitation. Seems like that'd work just fine.

That said...

Pants of Arrow Deflection
Pants of Holding
Pants of Enlarge... Person...

[Nicolas Louge]

I thought it would be obvious ...

Pants of Empowered Flatulence

Verbal and Somatic component: 'Pull My Finger'

[Caineach]

There is always homebrew,

[Cheng MacCheng of Clan MacCheng]

Locke1520 wrote:

And Sarongs.

Fixed that for you.

[Geistlinger]

MinMax doesn't wear pants...

'Nuff said.

[KenderKin]

So....

Who wears the pants in this thread?

[Lilith]

So does "I kick him in his magic pants, and use mage's disjunction with my other foot" become a valid threat?

[TriOmegaZero]

I'd be pretty disjoined...

[Avatar_name_1]

Old thread but have to add one. I've enjoyed reading these.

Pants of Haste

The ladies won't thank you.

[Zog of Deadwood]

Ambrus wrote:

Werecorpse wrote:

Pants that grant +2 enhancement bonus to Int. Smartypants

I was going to propose Fancy Pants of Charisma +2.

You can't just allude without linking. That's not kosher.

[cnetarian]

B..b..b.but pants are unhygienic. The developers are just thinking of their customers' health by not buying into the modern fad of trouser wearing, which prevents the proper flow of air around the limbs.

[Lurk3r]

Pants are an illusion, and so is death.

[The 8th Dwarf]

You don't need pants for the Victory dance!

[thorin001]

The real reason there are no magical pants is because Nimble the Thief stole them.

I steal his pants

[Jeven]

Ah, this explains all the chain-mail bikinis!

There is no such thing as magical pants, so when adventurers get hit by fireballs there cloth pants are consumed in a puff of smoke. So its either chain-mail underwear or nudity for all.

[Threeshades]

Jason Rice wrote:

Pants on Fire: +5 to bluff skill.

I would have said that's a cursed item that would burst into flame every time the wearer intentionally says something that is not true.

[Jaçinto]

Back when I as still playing AD&D and had not tried 3.0 yet, I thought up Bill's Pants of Holding based on Bill from The Red Green Show. Coveralls that bend the dimension rules for sizes of things you can put in, mainly cause I saw Bill pull a wheelbarrow out of there once. The rule was, you have to pull out several objects you believed useless to your immediate situation before you get to the one you wanted.

[lucky7]

this would unfairly discriminate against those of us who don't wear pants!

[Fetchystick]

Dire Hobbit wrote:

Cursed Item: These pants constrict when the wearer puts them on, and then begin to heat up. They do damage as the heat metal spell

Hot Pants

They also give a -2 Penalty to bluff.

[yeti1069]

blackrose_angel wrote:

Parachute pants that cast feather fall 3/days when you fall

And if you shout the command word: "Stop!" hammers fly forth.

[CraziFuzzy]

I was playing a Halfling Barbarian in a Wrath of the Righteous campaign, and the GM had absolutely no issue with me fashioning 'Telenderev's Scale(Sacred Weaponry)' into a glorious silver codpiece.

[RDM42]

"You can dance if you want to, you can leave your pants behind, because your friends have pants and if they have pants well, they're no friends of mine .."

[revaar]

Laithoron wrote:

Mothman wrote:

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Yay for Star Wars pants-jokes!

Yoda: I cannot teach this boy, he has no pants...

OR

Lando: Han will get those pants down, we gotta give him time!

OR

Emperor: There is a disturbance in the pants.
Vader: I have felt it, my master.

:D

More!

Han: Chewie and I haven gotten into pant much more heavily guarded than this!

OR:

Yoda: Lost his pants, Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing.

And of course:

Obi Wan: Use the pants, Luke!

[DM Under The Bridge]

Where are my pants that shoot lightning bolts from my a**!

[thistledown]

revaar wrote:

Laithoron wrote:

Mothman wrote:

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Yay for Star Wars pants-jokes!

Yoda: I cannot teach this boy, he has no pants...

OR

Lando: Han will get those pants down, we gotta give him time!

OR

Emperor: There is a disturbance in the pants.
Vader: I have felt it, my master.

:D

More!

Han: Chewie and I haven gotten into pant much more heavily guarded than this!

OR:

Yoda: Lost his pants, Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing.

And of course:

Obi Wan: Use the pants, Luke!

We're entering the pants and making our final attack run.

[Shake Spear]

Name Violation wrote:

We have headband/helm, eye, throat, shoulders, body, cloak/armor, belt, boot, and 2 ring slots, but why no legs slot? is everyone runnin around like in reign the conqueror and 300 with speedo's on? where are magical pants and a pants/legs slot?

Headband? I have a loincloth of alluring charisma that just so happens to occupy the same slot.

[Sir Eldon's Head]

The reason there are no pants in Pathfinder is tradition. Everyone knows that DnD is based at least in part on The Lord of the Rings.

"Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants. "

[Geistlinger]

thistledown wrote:

revaar wrote:

Laithoron wrote:

Mothman wrote:

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Yay for Star Wars pants-jokes!

Yoda: I cannot teach this boy, he has no pants...

OR

Lando: Han will get those pants down, we gotta give him time!

OR

Emperor: There is a disturbance in the pants.
Vader: I have felt it, my master.

:D

More!

Han: Chewie and I haven gotten into pant much more heavily guarded than this!

OR:

Yoda: Lost his pants, Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing.

And of course:

Obi Wan: Use the pants, Luke!

We're entering the pants and making our final attack run.

Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your pants.

[Lincoln Hills]

I'm trying hard to think of an enchantment that could be invested in a pair of chaps, slacks, dungarees, corduroys, pantaloons, leggings, trousers or bell-bottoms that is neither A) too pragmatic and/or solemn to be associated with these vaguely comical garments, nor B) too comical and/or prurient to disrupt suspension of disbelief.

Hmmm...

I got nothin'.

[thaX]

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your pants."

"He did to. He said that you Split them!!"

"No. I am your Pants."

"Uh... That's Impossible!!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true."

[Mike Franke]

Mothman wrote:

Monkey Pants!

Burning Monkey Pants!

[Loren Pechtel]

What's this with parachute pants???

Parachute skirts.

Or, for the males, parachute kilts.

And how about the el-cheapo version:

Skirt of feather falling:

Cost: 200gp.

When a character wearing a skirt of feather falling falls far enough that they would take damage the skirt will billow and be ripped off by the wind. In doing so the character will be slowed enough so as to not take damage no matter what the fall. The skirt lands at a location of d360 degrees, d% * fall distance/200 from where the character lands, offset fall distance * prevailing wind speed/100 (note that the wind speed in the air is often not the same as the wind speed on the ground).

The skirt is not harmed in the process although it's subject to the normal environmental hazards of wherever it might land and there's no guarantee it lands in an accessible place (if you fall off a cliff it very well might end up caught on some projection on the cliff.)

(As for the pricing logic here--single use items are normally 1% of the price of an at-will item. This is an at-will item but it must be recovered each time and sometimes won't be recoverable so I took a midrange value on a log scale.)

[Jeven]

Leggings of the Steed - you can transform your lower body into a horse, gaining the movement speed of a centaur and able to carry a rider.
Leggings of the Sea - gives you the lower body of a fish, swim as a merman.
Skirt of Razors - a dervish skirt that give you a slashing pirouette attack.
Codpiece of Lust - summons a succubus.

[krevon]

I could see a magical pair of pants with a small portals to the elemental plane of air....for men at least.