Why is no one wearing pants?


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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S to the I to the M to the P...
Squirrels In My Pants...


Achtung pants!

It's not the pants of displacement you should worry about. It's the SOCKS of displacement.


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Cursed pants of arrow catching...always in the knee
I second the idea for pants of tricks but several types one creates mice,rabbits ect like a least bag (all small animals from the pockets are named george) and a pair that creates snakes and weasels (fear the trouser weasel)
and a pair that creates minor figurines of wonder that replicate the 3 goats but with roosters ("Quickly princess mount my battle...rooster.")
cursed pants of irresistible dance
pants of flying
pants of many things
kilt of wonder

starwars pants
obi-wan: these are not the pants you are looking for
obi-wan: you cant win anikin i have the high pants
yoda: there is no pants only do or do not
Han Solo: [sounding official] Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
Voice: What happened?
Han Solo: [getting nervous] Uh, we had a slight pants malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
Darth Vader: A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
Princess Leia: No! Alderaan is peaceful! We have no pants, you can't possibly...

Liberty's Edge

Pants, Magic Pants!


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Underpants of Protection +1
Usable only by Mormons


Lincoln Hills wrote:

I'm trying hard to think of an enchantment that could be invested in a pair of chaps, slacks, dungarees, corduroys, pantaloons, leggings, trousers or bell-bottoms that is neither A) too pragmatic and/or solemn to be associated with these vaguely comical garments, nor B) too comical and/or prurient to disrupt suspension of disbelief.

Hmmm...

I got nothin'.

A bonus to the ride skill would be appropriate. So would a bonus to jumping.

With the advent of the quick runner's shirt worn under armor the last excuse for no pants (armor including leggings) is gone.

The quick runner's shirt really should be converted to pants as well.


I grew up playing RPGs where you did have pants. I noticed when I switched over to some other games that those didn't. I always did think it was weird. "Lets hit that part where they're armoured and not immobilise them by cutting their legs of!"

I guess it's not as cool to have Magic Pants as it is having Magic Shoes, Magic Cloaks and Magic Hats. But not having pants at all isn't cool either, it's criminal.

I acually think this could be a great addition to Pathfinder. Introducing a new magic pants item slot and magic pants items. Could be a Player Companion book on its own. And if not that it could also be a great april fools joke.


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Solomon Grundy wrote:
lordzack wrote:
All I want is a decent pair of pants!
Solomon Grundy want pants too!

*starts strangling you* You bas... you, beat me to it!


I hate to be serious, but given that a skirt is simply a long dangly belt and pants go in the same place, why not just use the belt slot?

So now you can legitimately have Pants of Physical Might, Pants of Physical Perfection, Pants of Teeth, Pants of Mighty Hurling, Blinkback Pants and yes, Monkey Pants.

And Serpent Pants. And Pants of the Snake King.

And Pants of Thunderous [dis]Charging,

Liberty's Edge

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Jared Ouimette wrote:
Pants of Stuffing: +2 Enhancement Bonus to Intimidate.

Just make sure the stuffing is in the front!

Liberty's Edge

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I am about to start a new campaign. I don't know exactly what they will be, but there will be magic pants.


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Pants, Magic Pants?

--Apologies to David Bowie

Silver Crusade

Great, now I'm gonna have to do a pants campaign. The only magical items will be belts, pants, and maybe belt buckles.


Sen Bloodtalon wrote:
Great, now I'm gonna have to do a pants campaign. The only magical items will be belts, pants, and maybe belt buckles.

Don't forget the Handy Fannypack.


Well if someone makes a PDF of magic pants I'll buy it.

Liberty's Edge

Zhayne wrote:

Pants, Magic Pants?

--Apologies to David Bowie

Beat you to it. ;)


Name Violation wrote:
We have headband/helm, eye, throat, shoulders, body, cloak/armor, belt, boot, and 2 ring slots, but why no legs slot?

In ancient civilization pants. Now knowledge lost. Plot next Adventure Path, Judgment of Trousers.

Gets worse. Click this.


Name Violation wrote:
is everyone runnin around like in reign the conqueror

This thread necro made me happy because someone else remembered Reign the Conqueror. I never read the manga, but the anime was pretty good. I really wish Peter Chung did more work. I've always had a soft spot for his style. A lot of people don't like it, but I love it.


Bring him to ze pants...


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"It's the wrong trousers, Gromit!"


Zhayne wrote:
Sen Bloodtalon wrote:
Great, now I'm gonna have to do a pants campaign. The only magical items will be belts, pants, and maybe belt buckles.
Don't forget the Handy Fannypack.

-10 to all Charisma based checks to be taken seriously.


Are there magic garter belts?


Theconiel wrote:
Jared Ouimette wrote:
Pants of Stuffing: +2 Enhancement Bonus to Intimidate.
Just make sure the stuffing is in the front!

If it's in the back, it gives you +2 enhancement bonus to Bluff to make them think you got intimidated!

(I know there is a better joke here, I just couldn't come up with one right now, I'll probably come back to it later).

And shouldn't it be a bonus to Diplomacy and not Intimidate when done right? Or is the Intimidate bonus for female characters?


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Abyssal Lord wrote:
Are there magic garter belts?

If not, there should be.


Pathfinder Strike Witches... I'm not sure if I should be afraid or intrigued...

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Garter Belt of storing, limited to objects six to ten inches long and cylendrical.


thaX wrote:
Garter Belt of storing, limited to objects six to ten inches long and cylendrical.

I guess that rule out those ten foot poles!


Expand the limit to 12 inches and it could include the collapsible 10 foot pole (I forget which supplement it was from, probably 3.5 something?)

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

By the gods, man, what if she accidently activated the collapsible pole as she was using it... it would be like an automatic spit!!

Give an inch, and everyone wants a yard...


The only thought for garter belts is a way to use the leg slot for a blink back belt. They're about the right height to use for throwing knives if you use a slit skirt. Or no skirt, like Feiya. The blink back belt needs to be reslotted anyways because it's a non-stat belt for weapon users. Only pure casters can even consider using a non-stat belt unless stat boosters themselves are reslotted.


Atarlost wrote:
The only thought for garter belts is a way to use the leg slot for a blink back belt. They're about the right height to use for throwing knives if you use a slit skirt. Or no skirt, like Feiya. The blink back belt needs to be reslotted anyways because it's a non-stat belt for weapon users. Only pure casters can even consider using a non-stat belt unless stat boosters themselves are reslotted.

Put all the physical stat boosters into the pants slot = problem solved?


Only if they don't get the x1.5 multiplier to cost for being on the same item.

Casters usually only REALLY care about One Mental and One Physical. Martials at least need Con and Strength or Dex, often they need all three.


I meant just making all the Belt of Stat +X into Pants of Stat +X


Pathfinder didn't copy over the line about 1 set of clothes not counting for encumbrance, so now characters have to buy strength scores or be naked.


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Can't believe that this hasn't been said yet:

"Honey, where are my pants?"

Sissyl wrote:

Achtung pants!

It's not the pants of displacement you should worry about. It's the SOCKS of displacement.

I thought that half of the socks made come with that.

In a homebrew campaign, a character of mine had 'Pants of Jumping.'

Don't forget the +5 Diapers of Absorbancy.


Mynameisjake wrote:

Top Ten Reasons There are no Magic Pants.

10. Magic Pants would break the game. Stop being a munchkin.

9. The lack of magic pants is a cut and paste error. Paizo will fix it in the FAQ.

8. Magic pants are unrealistic. They violate the rules of magic. Everyone knows that.

7. Mathematically, magic pants are an inferior build.

6. Magic pants would have to be masterwork first. 300 gp for a pair of pants can not be justified economically.

5. James Jacobs has a personal vendetta against magic pants. He thinks they'd steal focus from the Bard.

4. "Pants" is intellectual property of WotC.

3. Wearing "magic pants" means something obscene according to the Urban Dictionary.

2. "I'll stick it in my pants slot" is not something you want to hear at the gaming table.

And the number one reason there are no magic pants in Pathfinder....

1. Magic pants don't have full spell progression, therefore, they aren't worth wearing.

I... I don't know if I should favorite this, because it's already been favorite'd 42 times... I just... I... darn you reference-obsessions! DARN YOU A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS!!

Scarab Sages

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I seen this girl at the mall, she had magic pants.

After she walked by, I felt dazed for a good 4 rounds.


Bomanz wrote:

I seen this girl at the mall, she had magic pants.

After she walked by, I felt dazed for a good 4 rounds.

Some girls accomplish this by NOT wearing pants (or anything else...)


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In Morrowind I gave a pair of pants the Unlock enchantment.

I called them The Other Pants.


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Cursed pants of tripping. The pants are perfectly comfortable pants until an encounter. Once it begins, they immediately become too big and one cannot fight with a 2 handed weapon,because they must use one hand to hold them up. Their movement is reduced by half. And carries a 25% chance of tripping. The increased version reduces movement to quarter speed and 50% trip chance. The pants also sing "pants on the ground, pants on the ground, everyone attack me cuz my pants are on the ground." Giving all opponents a +1 to attack them.

The pants also give a+2 bonus to both strength and charisma.

They are called the pants of masculinity


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I used to wear pants like you, until I took an arrow in the knee...

Which is why I now wear my Loin Cloth of Holding. Next time I take an arrow to the knee, it'll be just the knee!

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