101 Reasons to be booted from a table.


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85. Incessantly hitting on the host's wife (and not in character). True story.

Edited: Apologies to Jiggy (and anyone else that I should have included).

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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Dude, numbers. We're trying to hit a milestone here! ;)


86. Being mean to the host's children. ("I was just kidding" means nothing when your five-year-old is inconsolable.)


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87. Cluelessly throwing around profanity with 8 year olds at the table. It was in-character, but we tried to subtly warn this guy a few times.


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Serisan wrote:
87. Cluelessly throwing around profanity with 8 year olds at the table. It was in-character, but we tried to subtly warn this guy a few times.

It's been my experience that guys who cuss in front of 8 year-olds don't do subtle. It's best to just directly say, "language dude, 8 year-old."


Haladir wrote:
86. Being mean to the host's children. ("I was just kidding" means nothing when your five-year-old is inconsolable.)

What level of mean are we talking here? Mean words? Being physically rough despite nonviolent? Angry voice?


From personal experience (and yes I was forever banned from playing a kender ever again) comes . . .

88. Playing as a kender with the kender voice, mannerisms and etc. Let's just say I went full-Wanderlust on the poor group.

Scarab Sages

89. Being intractably stuck in the mythos of a single game universe - that has nothing to do with the game you're playing (heck, even being stuck in the relevant one is no good).

90. Being stubborn and closed-minded.

91. Just plain being no fun to be around.


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Haladir wrote:
86. Being mean to the host's children. ("I was just kidding" means nothing when your five-year-old is inconsolable.)

What if your child just bit me? Look, if I'm not allowed to punt in self-defense Let it go, KC. Let it go.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Haladir wrote:
86. Being mean to the host's children. ("I was just kidding" means nothing when your five-year-old is inconsolable.)
What if your child just bit me? Look, if I'm not allowed to punt in self-defense Let it go, KC. Let it go.

This depends on the bite in my opinion.

If it was a violent bite with intent to rend flesh from you [and at sufficient age to have the jaw strength to potentially do so]? You're damned right it's self defense/instinctive reaction.

The vast majority of children wouldn't do this, and a parent of a child who would has either raised a monster or has a child with some sort of developmental issue and should know better than to put guests into such a vulnerable position.

I just hope the kid doesn't have some sort of severe saliva transmutable infection [such as either inherited or injury/transfusion acquired HIV for example.]

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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When I was in high school, I helped out occasionally at my mom's daycare. A preschooler bit my behind, because he was a dinosaur. He was too little for it to hurt through my jeans, but I think I jumped about a foot.


When my son was three he bit my brother in law's then girlfriend on the butt. Hi-larity.


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
When my son was three he bit my brother in law's then girlfriend on the butt. Hi-larity.

Wait... What is the exact relationship here?

If he was married to your sibling, and the then-girlfriend was not your sister (since then you would have just said your son bit your sister), it indicates your son was biting some person totally unrelated to you that happened to be dating your future in-law. Which might happen in a small enough town but would otherwise be a weird coincidence.


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It's my wife's brother.


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Derek Vande Brake wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
When my son was three he bit my brother in law's then girlfriend on the butt. Hi-larity.

Wait... What is the exact relationship here?

If he was married to your sibling, and the then-girlfriend was not your sister (since then you would have just said your son bit your sister), it indicates your son was biting some person totally unrelated to you that happened to be dating your future in-law. Which might happen in a small enough town but would otherwise be a weird coincidence.

Sounds like Cal was friends with his brother-in-law before brother-in-law started dating Cal's sister.

EDIT: or what Cal explained as the actual reality xD

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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Man, you can tell who's not used to juggling in-laws, amirite? :)


kyrt-ryder wrote:
Derek Vande Brake wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
When my son was three he bit my brother in law's then girlfriend on the butt. Hi-larity.

Wait... What is the exact relationship here?

If he was married to your sibling, and the then-girlfriend was not your sister (since then you would have just said your son bit your sister), it indicates your son was biting some person totally unrelated to you that happened to be dating your future in-law. Which might happen in a small enough town but would otherwise be a weird coincidence.

Sounds like Cal was friends with his brother-in-law before brother-in-law started dating Cal's sister.

EDIT: or what Cal explained as the actual reality xD

I'd just like to note the explanation I proposed isn't that much of a coincidence.

People getting involved with their sibling's friend is a bit uncommon but I wouldn't call it a coincidence.

Scarab Sages

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92. Getting all Orthodox Emily Post about "gaming protocol/gamer law/the gamer's code" - gaming shouldn't have an organized culture, dammit!


kyrt-ryder wrote:
Derek Vande Brake wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
When my son was three he bit my brother in law's then girlfriend on the butt. Hi-larity.

Wait... What is the exact relationship here?

If he was married to your sibling, and the then-girlfriend was not your sister (since then you would have just said your son bit your sister), it indicates your son was biting some person totally unrelated to you that happened to be dating your future in-law. Which might happen in a small enough town but would otherwise be a weird coincidence.

Sounds like Cal was friends with his brother-in-law before brother-in-law started dating Cal's sister.

EDIT: or what Cal explained as the actual reality xD

I considered that, but I would figure if that was the case he'd have said his friend rather than his brother-in-law, lol. I would consider brother-in-law less familiar. Is there a hierarchy of familiarity, lol?

But yeah, I hadn't considered his wife's brother, which also makes total sense, hahaha!


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
That's an improbable scenario, and it still doesn't give you the right to abuse animals.

Animal abuse of any sort is a guaranteed 1 way ticket through my window.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Soilent wrote:
Animal abuse of any sort is a guaranteed 1 way ticket through my window.

Really hoping the irony was intentional...


Jiggy wrote:
Soilent wrote:
Animal abuse of any sort is a guaranteed 1 way ticket through my window.
Really hoping the irony was intentional...

Defenestration is no joke, yo.

Scarab Sages

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Simon Legrande wrote:
Jiggy wrote:
Soilent wrote:
Animal abuse of any sort is a guaranteed 1 way ticket through my window.
Really hoping the irony was intentional...
Defenestration is no joke, yo.

It is a funny word, however.


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93. Reading the adventure in advance (as a player), carefully thinking through the best possible way to tackle every encounter, then steering the group to your preferred solutions through subtle hints.

(The player I saw do this only got caught out because the group made a bad choice, with some very negative consequences that he knew were coming. He had his PC commit suicide. That way he got a new PC, and didn't have to live with the results of his former PCs actions. The group broke up over that.)


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Simon Legrande wrote:
Jiggy wrote:
Soilent wrote:
Animal abuse of any sort is a guaranteed 1 way ticket through my window.
Really hoping the irony was intentional...
Defenestration is no joke, yo.
It is a funny word, however.

It is. And rarely does a chance come up to use it in proper context. However, I would not advocate for defenestrating a guest as that's just bad form. I agree that problematic animals should be placed somewhere that guests won't go.

Scarab Sages

Simon Legrande wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Simon Legrande wrote:

Defenestration is no joke, yo.

It is a funny word, however.
It is. And rarely does a chance come up to use it in proper context. However, I would not advocate for defenestrating a guest as that's just bad form.

I'll have you know my defenestration form is superb - last time I did it, the Romanian judge gave me a 9.9, and even the notoriously hardnosed French judge gave me a 7.0!


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Simon Legrande wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Simon Legrande wrote:

Defenestration is no joke, yo.

It is a funny word, however.
It is. And rarely does a chance come up to use it in proper context. However, I would not advocate for defenestrating a guest as that's just bad form.
I'll have you know my defenestration form is superb - last time I did it, the Romanian judge gave me a 9.9, and even the notoriously hardnosed French judge gave me a 7.0!

And the judge from Prague?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
kyrt-ryder wrote:


People getting involved with their sibling's friend is a bit uncommon but I wouldn't call it a coincidence.

For instance, my brother-in law (married to my oldest sister) was once both my college roommate and engaged to my sister-in-law (married to my oldest brother), while I am married to the woman who came to my college graduation with my younger brother (as friends, but thay had gone out once or twice before that.) Don't even get me started with my other sister....

Liberty's Edge

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93. The newer play still asking what die to role to hit after playing the game every other week for a year and a half and always spending more time on there smartphone.


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94. Dude was banging his best friend, his girlfriend put it all together by his in game actions, and hit in the head with a cast iron skillet, cops were called, whole fiasco broke up the group.

Grand Lodge

captain yesterday wrote:
94. Dude was banging his best friend, his girlfriend put it all together by his in game actions, and hit in the head with a cast iron skillet, cops were called, whole fiasco broke up the group.

Doing my best to sound like David Bowie...

- When the kids had killed the man, I had to break up the band...


95. Your name is Mark... :(

Sczarni

Reckless wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:


People getting involved with their sibling's friend is a bit uncommon but I wouldn't call it a coincidence.

For instance, my brother-in law (married to my oldest sister) was once both my college roommate and engaged to my sister-in-law (married to my oldest brother), while I am married to the woman who came to my college graduation with my younger brother (as friends, but thay had gone out once or twice before that.) Don't even get me started with my other sister....

My sister-in-law (married to my older brother) is one day younger than I am. A woman I dated for a year is two days younger than my younger sister. Funny how some things work that way.

Sovereign Court

96: "You gotta putty mouth DM"

Liberty's Edge

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97:

Player to DM: What do the zombies smell like?
DM (points to player)


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98: Flipping the table should get you booted from the table.

Silver Crusade

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John Kretzer wrote:
98: Flipping the table should get you booted from the table.

But... but that's my only d2!

Grand Lodge

memorax wrote:

97:

Player to DM: What do the zombies smell like?
DM (points to player)

Yep good reason for kicking a GM.

Liberty's Edge

Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.

I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.

Shadow Lodge

memorax wrote:

97:

Player to DM: What do the zombies smell like?
DM (points to player)

...and says "Quite a bit better than him"


memorax wrote:
Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.
I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.

stuff like this makes me glad I have almost no sense of smell, unless you come directly from shoveling s&$* I won't notice :-)

Grand Lodge

memorax wrote:
Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.
I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.

There are more tactful ways to do that thought.


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captain yesterday wrote:
memorax wrote:
Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.
I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.
stuff like this makes me glad I have almost no sense of smell, unless you come directly from shoveling s~~~ I won't notice :-)

And of course now you are destined to get a player who works as a stablehand mucking out stalls all day long without time to run home for a shower before game.


Andrew Betts wrote:
memorax wrote:
Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.
I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.
There are more tactful ways to do that thought.

Yeah. There was a young lady that went to college with my wife that had a problem with hygiene due to abuse and some mental issues. People being blunt about it publicly didn't help her much. They had a quiet intervention and bought her a bunch of bath things and generally helped her instead of just pointing and saying "you stink!"

I know, I know, it's the internet way to be blunt but sometimes being compassionate helps!

Liberty's Edge

Obviously I try the compassionate way first. Sometimes peoe tend to ignore that method. Sometimes you need to be blunt.


memorax wrote:
Obviously I try the compassionate way first. Sometimes peoe tend to ignore that method. Sometimes you need to be blunt.

There's public humiliation blunt, and then there's private intervention blunt.

Many people don't catch subtle cues and hints and require the use of plain direct English, but will value sincere efforts.

Liberty's Edge

kyrt-ryder wrote:


There's public humiliation blunt, and then there's private intervention blunt.

Many people don't catch subtle cues and hints and require the use of plain direct English, but will value sincere efforts.

Sometimes they truly don't catch the subtle cues and hints. Sometimes they just plain ignore them. As it was the case with two players. I tend to be blunt but not a jerk. Sometimes though you need to say "I'm sorry but stink and no I'm not putting up with anymore". Not to mention people are adults. Since when do I have to talk to adults like I'm talking to a child.


memorax wrote:
Andrew Betts wrote:


Yep good reason for kicking a GM.
I think it's the other way around. No one likes gaming with players with a player with poor hygiene. I get sometimes that coming from work it's unavoidable. After a point I'm willing to tell both a player and/or DM to wash up before coming to a session. Even if it means being late.

Sure. but a DM that is that rude is not someone I wanna game with. If someone is stinky, you take them aside and tell them privately.

Liberty's Edge

Of course but sometimes talking about it privately still does not work. Or gets ignored. It would be great if people would always be reasonable. Sometimes they are not and one has to be blunt.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

99: "Is this a 6 or a 9?" Every. Single. Session. At least once per session. The die even had the little dot that indicated which side was up.

100. Someone misunderstands a game fundamental, and refuses to be corrected. (He thought CHA replaced STR or DEX for attack rolls just because he was a sorcerer.)

I'm leaving #101 for the next person. Make it a good one!

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