NobodysHome's Silly Serpent's Skull Moments [***Spoilers***]

[NobodysHome]

Malek Makes a Will Save
Yeah, other stuff happened. But seriously. Malek actually MADE a Will save!

Oh, I guess you want more than that, huh?

OK, let's get started:

The party decided that this week they wanted to do a sightseeing tour of the most powerful creatures left alive on the surface of Saventh-Yhi. To each his own, I guess. So they continued to be utterly helpless against Akarundo (CR 10), but he wasn't particularly interested in engaging them in hand-to-hand fisticuffs, instead dropping Lightning Bolts and Magic Missiles on them from afar while they scrambled for safety. He found them most amusing, and chose not to pursue them when they fled into vegepygmy territory. (He never took a single hit point, so they didn't register at all on his 'threat meter'.)

They decided they'd try to negotiate with the boggards, so drew a path around the troglodyte territory, right through... Yog'Oltha's territory (CR 11). Once again, he was more curious and amused than abusive, so he appeared in the form of a lizard man and first Dominated Templari and asked her to kill the rest of the party. She made her second save and broke free, so he next Dominated Malek as everyone around the table groaned. While he was cheerfully Dominating people, the party tried to affect the
image that was casting at them, but with no one with a reasonable Knowledge: Arcana skill they had no idea what was going on or what the image was, and they couldn't affect it. A Magic Circle Against Evil cast on Malek gave him a second save (failed again), but when his turn rolled around Impus Major rolled a natural 18, +3 for Malek's Will, +2 for PfE, +2 for a command against his nature, and the 25 was enough to break free!!

Miracles DO happen!

Unfortunately, Yog'Oltha then Dominated Irwin, and Irwin showed no ability whatsoever to shake it off. Fortunately, Kwai Chang learned that monks do a couple of things really, really well, and so he stunned and disarmed Irwin. The party proceeded to have a question-for-a-question chat with Yog'Oltha as Irwin desperately tried to punch the other party members to death until Kwai Chang finally knocked him out. Yog'Oltha claimed to be ancient, from "before time", and to have created humans and gripplis. He was particularly interested in Malek, and said he was looking forward to experimenting on him. In fact, he was looking forward to experimenting on the entire party, but, "Now is not the time."
So, being unprepared for such a gift, he let them go, planning to find them and capture them for his experimentation at a later date.

Continuing their "trek of increasing CRs", they walked around the southern portion of boggard territory, narrowly escaping THAT particular CR 13 encounter with a very high encounter roll (a natural 20, when low rolls generate encounters). Amusingly, they walked all the way around boggard territory to attempt to approach them from the west, which happens to be exactly where attacking humans from the Artisan District would come from.

Sighing, I figured I HAD to give Templari a Diplomacy roll because they KNEW the political situation, and her 31 was plenty to realize that maybe, just maybe, coming into boggard territory from the direction of their hated enemies wasn't a fantastic idea.

At that point, they had the choice of going into the human-populated Artisan District, or working their way all the way back around to the other side of boggard territory to try to come in from there. They chose the latter. Curious, I asked, "So why are you so desperate to avoid the human's territory?"
"They're the most warlike of all!"
"Er, where did you get THAT idea?"
"You said it!"
"No, the charau-ka said it. And they didn't say, 'Warlike', they said that they were all slaughtered by a snake woman when they tried to invade."
"Ooooooooh..."

In a miraculous, "We're not going to get ourselves TPK'ed," moment, they first discussed going straight to the ball courts. If you're familiar with the AP, that's pretty much a death sentence for a 9th-level party. Instead, they thankfully chose to wander the streets, singing hymns to Shelyn (Templari made a great Knowledge: Religion roll to realize that was probably the best goddess to worship around here). It was a lot of fun describing the incredible art and statuary lining every street, and watch the kids thinking, "Oh, maybe THIS is the friendly district..."
They (thankfully) successfully attracted a patrol, easily made the Diplomacy check to be taken to Osund, and, after some discussion and finally offering to help the humans against the boggards, got Osund to take them to the Radiant Muse.

Osund took great pains to warn them that the Muse was a fickle mistress, and they had to be on their best behavior, and answer her honestly in all areas.

And so they arrived, and I ended the session just as she flew down and greeted them, in all of her CR 20(!!) glory. (Including a mythic tier to make her bow legendary really upped that CR...a LOT! But it also explains how she survived Earthfall and hasn't been killed by all the other CR 10-15 critters wandering around Saventh-Yhi over the last 12,000 years...)

The conversation should be... interesting.

[captain yesterday]

I had her as a loose cannon, making the party recite Shakespeare, shoot arrows at their feet, etc.

They even attacked her once, had to retreat and came back, expecting a fight, and she was all excited like her best friend that she hasn't seen in years came to visit.

For Osond I used the movie Birdcage for inspiration.

The whole thing was one of the highlights of Serpent's Skull.

[NobodysHome]

Oh, yeah, I LOVE her lunacy. It'll be fun!

Just have to be sure the party can survive enough rounds to run away.

I do like shooting at their feet to make 'em dance.

I may have to steal that one, depending on how they answer her first round of questions...

[NobodysHome]

And because I know you guys will enjoy it and we're doing it through e-mail (he won't be around next week), here's the Radiant Muse's interview with Voren so far...

The Radiant Muse gazes at Voren with ancient eyes. You can see aeons passing behind them. This creature was alive before Earthfall. And she was there when Earthfall happened, and she survived it.
RM: "Tell me, young demonspawn. Why have you come to Saventh-Yhi?"
Voren: "I have come to discover the unknown, my lady, and assist my company in doing so as well."
("My Company" refers to the Pathfinder Society, not the party.)

She smiles, and you catch glimpses of stars in her eyes. Not shiny, romantic stars, but her eyes go dead black for a moment with visions of the cosmos within them. Kinda creepy. But she's cute, so she can get away with it. You notice Osond's shoulders (and entire body for that matter) visibly relax behind you.

RM: "Ah, demonling! You are a follower of Desna, then?"
Voren: "No, my lady: of Gygax and Arneson."
RM: "Hmmph. You should find yourself a decent god. I've never heard of either of them. I don't mind worshipping multiple gods, you know. They can be such fickle beings. Never know when they might abandon you for thousands of years, with no one to speak to..."

She breaks off for a bit to sob. Seriously. She wanders off for a good 2-3 minutes. Osond seems to feel this is perfectly normal. In fact, he asks, "Would anyone care for some refreshments while the mistress is composing herself?"

She finally flies back to you and looks a bit confused.
"Osond, who are these people, and why are they at my temple?"
"They are visitors from far-off lands, my lady. They have offered their assistance with the boggard problem. You were interviewing the demonling..."

Her face lights up. "Ah, yes! I DO remember that! It was just a few minutes ago, wasn't it?"
"Yes, my lady."
She claps and giggles excitedly.

"You, young demonspawn, are a worshipper of unknown gods. I therefore have TWO tasks for you..."

She flies off again. And again, it is several minutes before she returns. Osond calls up a runner, who fetches grilled meat for you. For a primitive society, it's insanely good.
Eventually, she flies back down with a delicately-crafted, exquisitely-made crystalline object in her hands.

"Your first task is for yourself. Take this to a place where Desna sings. And learn what colors it displays in the glory of her song. I will want to know this. But this task is for your benefit."
"Your second task is for the tribe. No one is welcome here without an art. Show me what you can do. Do you entertain? Do you create? What, pray tell, is your art?"
"Oh, wait! Wait! And your third task is to do a jig. On a barrel. While holding a monkey!"
She claps excitedly about the third one!

"Now get to it! I want to see what you make! And Osond! Go fetch a monkey!"
"Yes, m'lady."

As Osond wanders off, he smiles and gives you a timid wink. Apparently, you have done well so far...

Voren: "I am somewhat able to work metal and competent at assembling machinery, but I am learned in creating potions. Which one would you like me to demonstrate?"
RM: "We have not had machinery here since... since..."

For a moment you're worried that you've set off another sobbing fit, but she composes herself and ponders. "A... potion?"

She purses her lips. "Art must be something for everyone to enjoy. A fine meal, of course, is art that only a few may enjoy, but it is still sharing nourishment and company. You must think of a potion that can be shared; that can bring enjoyment to many, or at least a few, rather than to just one. You may think on this while I speak with the others."

[NobodysHome]

Talky McTalkTalk *finally* got around to reading this thread, and, on discovering his nickname, objected.

I refuse to accept his alternative, but if the board suggests something appropriate to what to name this paladin/Narmina/Templari person, I'm all ears.

[captain yesterday]

Bill.

[Tacticslion]

TKO!

As in "total knock-out" because, as a high-charisma paladin, she's a total knockout! Also because her actions often lead to a near-total knockout of the party!

You could even get cute in Project A-Ko style and name him T-Ko! Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnd cue none of you having any idea what I'm talking about...

Hey! Stop judging! Scifi used to have funny anime on when I was younger! >:I

Or, as an alternate...

Box!

As in "don't leave you're box*" as a paladin*, but also as in "chatterbox"!

* "Box" in this case, being "alignment" and/or "code"... Paladins are not meant to be cookie-cutter creatures, but they have certain requirements you must fulfill.

Or, then again, there's Theothste! As in "the" "oth" "ste" or "the other stereotype" - i.e. that guy that makes all the hot chick characters! (The original flurry/smite stinker, Narmina the gnome bard, and now Templari...)

((For the record, I'm just messing with you, dude. I have some games like that, too...))

[justaworm]

McDowell

[Supperman]

With our group, somebody decided to attack the Muse. It didn't go well. However, Akarundo went down in one combat encounter.

[NobodysHome]

Oh, even the as-written Muse is more than a match for a 9th-level party (see CY's comments above). Giving her a mythic tier and some extra levels of bard to account for 8 players instead of 4 makes her... nasty.

And I know Talky is going to explode when I say this (he wanted to be renamed, "He who is already thinking about his next character"), but the party is seriously suffering due entirely to their lack of a bard.

"What is Akarundo?" -- No bard = We have no idea = That DR is impenetrable. Though yeah, that, "I'm a paladin and I don't carry a bow," is certainly contributing vastly to that problem

"What is that spell that Yog'Oltha is using?" -- No bard = We have no idea = Yog'Oltha had his way with them, and is now planning their downfall

"What will impress the Radiant Muse?" -- A DC 25 Performance check, with each +5 'grandfathering' in another PC. No bard = No one can even make that initial check = The party's about to set off on some hilarious misadventures at the behest of the Muse

I am confused when a 4-person party doesn't include a bard, but I understand they may want their resources elsewhere. Once a party hits 6 people or more, that bard becomes the most powerful caster in the game, bar none. (As proof, I give you Bard's Escape, or, "I can put my Hasted fighters in flanking position around you, and I don't even need line of effect to do it.")

So yeah, the party has no bard, so it's a party for me...

[Tacticslion]

I'd play the bard! I'd play the baaaaarrrrrrrrdddddd~!

[NobodysHome]

Well, I'd post in the GM thread, but that would just attract the kids there, so I'll spoiler my plans for them, being vague in case they read it, and interested parties can make suggestions or counterproposals:

How I think it'll play out:

Reading Voren's e-mails, I think allowing him a Craft: Alchemy roll instead of a Perform: roll is both legitimate and he should make it.

Both Hooken and Malek have skills that can impress her. If Hooken can figure out what he's supposed to do, he's a shoo-in. Malek will have a bit of a harder time, but I think he's at the point that rolling a 15+ will get him in.

Unfortunately, that leaves Kwai Chang, Templari, Athelya, and Irwin with no skills I can possibly conceive as being "interesting" to the Muse.

So I have to plan at least 4 quests, and possibly up to 6.

I'm thinking:
(1) The as-written, "Destroy the blood-sucking predator" quest.
(2) A gimme of, "Go destroy that demon statue I created millenia ago."
(3) "The boggards have information they cannot know about me and the planes. Find and destroy the source of their information."

Trouble is, that's only 3. Any suggestions for 4, 5, and 6?

[Cap'n Yesterday Divided by Zero]

You could always post with an alias, they'll never realize it's you. ;-)

[NobodysHome]

LOL! Wouldn't you know that Shiro's player has an entire assortment of quests for muses to send would-be musicians on? I'm all set:

And the rest:

(4) "I've noticed Osond looking a bit down lately, and I know I've seen a gargantuan bird with brilliant plumage flying over the city. Would you please track it down and steal a few feathers for me? I think a blue, a yellow, and at least two reds. I know Osond loves red..."
(5) "I originally made this bow before... the incident... but I feel I should make one for my people. Would you be so kind as to go to xxx and mine some green crystal for me?"
(6) "My basilisks are looking lonely. Would you go play hide-and-seek with them? They love that game!"

[Tacticslion]

Okay.

Okay, okay.

I... I can't not make one, now.

She'll even be a hot chick - just for TalkyMcTalktalk!

Description wrote:

This lovely woman has blood-red irises and matching hair she keeps piled as neatly as possible, though stray waves have begun escaping their coiffed cage. Her skin is the bronze color of someone who spends a great deal of time outdoors, though too smooth for most who live such a life. She adjusts a strange pair of eye-wear - some sort of hybrid between a monocle and goggles. She wears strange red sweater, scarf, black shirt and matching (bizarre) shoes, and blue leggings that seem to be made for different weather; she hoists a surprisingly large bag for her small frame - though it seems to weigh on her quite a bit - on her shoulder, from whence she seems to be able to pull a seemingly endless supply of colorful writing implements, notebooks, and paints, devices and containers both arcane and mundane, and apples of every kind; she has a very large, bizarre parasol attached to it. When you first spy her, she stands openly, confident, absentmindedly munching an apple while apparently pondering her surroundings with interest and occasionally muttering about- and marking things with chalk.

I got yer knowledge right here!:

Betty "Boop" Bradley

Changeling (Witchborn)
+2 INT, +2 CHA; -2 CON
Medium
Humanoid (changeling)
Common, Celestial; Aklo, Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Giant, Gnoll, Goblin, Orc
Darkvision 60 ft.
Inscrutable (blood hag)
Hag Magic ([1/day] dancing lights, detect magic, disguise self, pass without trace)

20 Point Buy
archavist bard

===============================================================
NG Medium humanoid (changeling)
Init+DEX MOD; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +
DEFENSE
AC , touch , flat-footed (+DEX)
hp (xd8)
Fort +1/3 lvl; Ref +2+1/2 lvl; Will +2+1/2 lvl
??; ??
Weakness;
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft.
Melee
Ranged;
Special Attacks bardic performance (countersong, distract, fascinate, naturalist +varies <+1, and +1 at 5th, 11th, and 17th>), cantrips
Spell-like Abilities
(1/day) - dancing lights, detect magic, disguise self, pass without trace
Spells <presented in order of taking them, but in reverse level order>
6th (by lvl) - (1-2) overwhelming presence, project image; (3) scrying, greater; (4) shadow enchantement, greater; (5) waves of ecstasy analyze dweomer, brilliant inspiration, charm monster (mass), geas/quest, unconscious agenda, veil,
5th (by lvl) - (1-2) bard's escape, heroism, greater; (3) shadowbard; (4) dispel magic, greater; (5) shadow walk
4th (by lvl+1) - (1-2) modify memory, shadow conjuration; (3) break enchantment; (4) echolocation; (5) freedom of movement; (6) legend lore speak with plants,
3rd (by lvl+1) - (1-2) aura of the unremarkable, seek thoughts; (3) scrying; (4) witness; (5) remove curse; (6) pierce disguise arcane concordance, glibness, haste,
2nd (by lvl+1) - (1-2) acute senses, anonymous interaction; (3) ancestral knowledge; (4) detect thoughts; (5) investigative mind; (6) share memory bestow insight, blood biography, gallant inspiration, heroism, honeyed tongue, invisibility, share memory, tongues
1st (by lvl+1) - (1-2) adoration, cultural adeptation; (3) identify; (4) read weather; (5) see alignment; (6) timely inspiration
0th (at will) - (1-4) haunted fey aspect, mending, prestidigitation, read magic; (5) message; (6) know direction
I've included the ability score bonus spells; the number order is the order I take spells when I get them
STATISTICS
STR 7; DEX 14; CON 11; INT 18 <+1/4 levels; plus inherent bonuses>; WIS 7; CHA 18
Base Atk <+3/4 lvl>; CMB <BAB-3>; CMD <10+BAB-1>
Feats 1 extra performance, 3 craft wondrous items, 5 extra performance, 7 forge ring, 9 craft magic arms and armor, 11 craft construct, 13 extra performance, 15 craft staff, 17 extra performance, 19 extra performance <you're welcome, NH; you're welcome>
Skills <3+lvl+ability modifier> knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, engineering, geography, history, nature, planes, religion), linguistics, perform (act, oratory); <+1/8 levels> perform (1 dance, 2 percussion)
Language common, celestial; aklo, draconic, elven, giant; <+1/level> (in order of taking) polyglot, boggard, abyssal, kech, undercommon, azlanti, aquan, cyclops, infernal, orc, necril, gug, orvian, osiriani, sylvan; (GM's choice [listed alphabetically]): auran, ignan, kelish, shoanti, terran, varisian, vegepygmy)
SQ bardic knowledge <+1/2 lvl (min +1)>,
Combat Gear 3d6x10 at first, as normal beyond
Other Gear Scar of Destiny <shaped as Irori's palm sign on her own>

Class Progression (minus notes made above):

level 2: lore master (1/day)*, versatile performance (oratory), well-versed
level 3: performance (inspire competence +2)
level 4: -
level 5: -
level 6: performance (lamentable belaborment), versatile performance (act)
level 7: performance (inspire competence +3)
level 8: lore master (2/day), performance (dirge of doom)
level 9: performance (inspire greatness)
level 10: jack-of-all-trades, versatile performance (dance)
level 11: performance (inspire competence +4)
level 12: performance (soothing)
level 13: -
level 14: lore master (3/day), performance (frightening tune), versatile performance (percussion)
level 15: performance (inspire competence +5, inspire heroics)
level 16:
level 17:
level 18: performance (pedantic lecture), versatile performance ()
level 19: performance (inspire competence +6)
level 20: lore master (4/day), performance (deadly performance)

* Based on the clarification of this ability, I'm unsure whether I get an extra use once every six levels after second (as noted above) or once at second, fifth, eighth, eleventh, fourteenth, seventeenth, and twentieth. GM's call, though I presented the conservative estimate.

Spells I will turn into magic items (grouped by level):

6th: geas/quest, unconscious agenda, veil
4th: speak with plants,
3rd: arcane concordance, glibness, haste,
2nd: bestow insight, blood biography, gallant inspiration, heroism, honeyed tongue, invisibility, share memory, tongues

Also: crafter's fortune, augury, divination, commune, and sending.

Also, also: magic circle, and planar binding. No reason. >.>

Character:

This young woman had a very unusual childhood - she was raised in Nirvana itself by agathions, angels, and azata there, until - with no apparent rhyme or reason - she simply vanished one day, only to appear elsewhere. A lifetime seeker of knowledge and information, she was marked from her earliest age with the mark of Irori upon her palm - a mystery she's never truly been able to solve. Nonetheless, she has sought the favor of several goddesses as well - she has created a special symbol (tattooed somewhere most couldn't find it) that is a rainbow circle of Shelyn's bird's tail, Calistria's three short swords, and Desna's butterfly within the circle.

She has become a teacher and lecturer in her spare time. She no longer knows or really cares what her age is or where her mark is going to take her, as she has become part of countless stories during her lifetime, and aids them as she can, often with her startling knowledge about a broad array of topics. Beautiful, but occasionally boringly long-winded, she has a good heart and has so far survived all of her most dangerous moments.

Kind (if condescending) and helpful (if patronizing), she loves meeting all sorts of people and helping guide them on their way.

She basically pops in an out of existance whenever it's convenient for her to do so! I give you full permission to play her for me, NH! Full. Permission. >:)

[captain yesterday]

So it was Tacticslion that broke the site!

I thought there was a word limit for posts... :-D

Also Foxy Boxer avatar is growing on me. :-)

[Tacticslion]

For the record, I most certainly did not create a Marry Poppins clone only with a "new" and "updated" modern twist! Any such accusations are outrageous! Outrageous, I say! >:[

Good day sir! I said "Good day!"

[NobodysHome]

Oh, lordy!

*Everyone* is requesting that I run quest #6. I was really hoping to have that as a last-gasp, "If the kids really blow everything" quest.

But the masses have spoken! I'm setting it up tonight.

Whee!

[justaworm]

You can also take a page from Legacy of Fire Book 3 and let the PCs use whatever talents they have to create some sort of performance, with a related check of course. I've seen a PBP when a few of the PCs used their martial talent to perform a mock battle (or even duel).

[NobodysHome]

justaworm wrote:

You can also take a page from Legacy of Fire Book 3 and let the PCs use whatever talents they have to create some sort of performance, with a related check of course. I've seen a PBP when a few of the PCs used their martial talent to perform a mock battle (or even duel).

They had something similar in Wrath of the Righteous, and that's why I think the two PCs mentioned in the spoilers have enough "raw talent" to impress her enough to avoid getting quests.

But still, 4 quests for 7 PCs ought to give them a few weeks of things to do, other than wandering around getting chased by beings more powerful than themselves...
...I guess that does depend on how the quests go, hmm?

[Our Great Overlord and Grand Poobah of All Things Bacon]

Tacticslion wrote:

Okay.

Okay, okay.

I... I can't not make one, now.

Well, not a Marry Poppins clone, just a Mary Sue.

[Tacticslion]

Our Great Overlord and Grand Poobah of All Things Bacon wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Okay.

Okay, okay.

I... I can't not make one, now.

Well, not a Marry Poppins clone, just a Mary Sue.

Nah*. Have you seen her damage potential? It's not great. What she is great at doing though: helping everyone else do well. :D

(But she needs to pray, a lot, that she never makes an actual fortitude save. *shudder*)

That said, you guys should (hopefully) be doing pretty well for yourselves, equipment-wise, should she be permitted to join**. :)

*:

Unless, of course, you count all PF characters as Mary Sue/Gary Stu-type characters. In which case, yes, yes indeed. If you refer to the scar of destiny, I recommend you look at the category of items it falls under. It's a joke on my part - she would only ever "pop up" when I, as a player, showed up... which is, obviously, never. Or NobodysHome decides to use her, in which case she becomes (if she works out, which, with her hit points and fortitude save, is not guaranteed), a Deus Ex Machina! (Although, it's worth noting, that Mary Poppins, herself, would fall under the more liberal uses of 'Mary Sue' - she comes from nowhere, uses a host of powers unrealistic and incomprehensible to the setting she's in, and is, to quote her, 'practically perfect in every way' who's only flaws bear little weight in the over-all narrative.

**:

I wouldn't hold my breath. But if she does, please give her a chance!

[Phenomenal Cosmic Power Gamer]

Daggummit! I forgot to give my pastiche the Leadership feat!

Bother-it-all! Well, good game, guys. Good game. I had a good run.

I guess I can't overpower it in all the ways.

Q.Q

[Turin the Mad]

T-ko. Please tell me Talky McTalksalot is now T-ko. I love those movies, but I've not found them on disc...

[Tacticslion]

Our Great Overlord and Grand Poobah of All Things Bacon wrote:

just a Mary Sue.

Crap, you're right.

Okay, to apologize for my grievous error, I will come up with a new character.

But don't worry, NH! My new build is totes less powerful, obvs! After all, he's only...

[Phenomenal Cosmic Power Gamer]

... a kobold! >:)

((EDIT: And don't forget, since the PF APs were originally written when it was still 3.5, and CotCT, SD, and LoF were never updated out of 3.5, that means that PF has 3.5 material as part of its official canon/continuity (as both CotCT and SD are not only referenced in, but required parts of both JR and Shattered') meaning this applies to Golarion fully. Why, yes, I'll just take every OP ability from first to fifth edition and PF, thank you~! >:D))

[NobodysHome]

Interview with the Muse, Part I
When you're already several pages in and you haven't even finished all the interviews, it's time to break up your post...

Sometimes as a GM, you plan everything out to a T: The PC interactions, the players' reactions, and so forth. And everything goes perfectly, exquisitely, according to plan.

And at the end of it all, you realize you may have laid it on too thick.

I believe I sent home a very depressed group of teenagers last night. But the session ran as "scripted", and the party is seriously determined to deal with the Muse's problems ASAP. Except Hooken. Who just wants money and a new bow. Selfish so-and-so! ;-)

So, with Voren having completed his "test", Osond returned with the requested monkey struggling in his grasp. The Muse looked nonplussed.
"Osond. What are you doing with that monkey?"
"Oh, er... I decided I would bring it to you, m'Lady."
"Well, what on Earth for? You know I don't like it when you are needelessly cruel to animals, Osond. Please let the poor thing go."

The terrified primate glanced around, spotted the Muse, and took cover among her coils. As she absentmindedly scratched it behind the ears, it visibly relaxed. The Muse looked up again, "So, which of you would like to show me your art next?"

We didn't end up recording the session, and I doubt anyone would care for a full transcript anyway (other than Voren's player, who couldn't make it last night), so here are the highlights:

Hooken went first. He described himself as a hunter who could also be kind to animals. The Muse had a discussion with Heron about this, and Heron seemed to agree with Hooken's assessment of himself. She then asked Hooken what art he was going to demonstrate for her, and he missed the very obviouos trainable monkey that had been placed there for precisely that purpose, and instead mentioned that he needed to upgrade his bow. The Muse spoke to Osond. "Osond, you know those lamb meatballs I am so fond of? Would you be a dear and fetch me a platter of them? But this time, I'd like them raw."
Once he was safely taken care of, we went straight to the standard, "My bow was crafted by my followers 6,000 years ago from a meteorite that fell some 20 miles east of here. If you would fetch me some, I can make a bow for Osond. If you bring enough, I will craft a bow for you as well."
So Hooken earned himself a generic quest for a meteor.

I believe Irwin went next (Irwin got "volunteered" very early, but Templari was brave enough to volunteer quite early as well, so forgive me if I got these two backwards). Irwin described his fighting prowess and his acrobatic abilities, but neither impressed the Muse. As they were speaking, Osond returned with a plate of raw meatballs. The Muse delicately picked one up, sniffed it carefully, and then whinged it at the group, narrowly missing their heads.
The party was... perplexed.
She looked a bit disappointed, picked up another meatball, and whinged it again, this time just out of Malek's reach. Malek's tongue shot out, and with an attack roll of 25 snagged the meatball out of mid-air. The Muse giggled and clapped delightedly. "I KNEW it! I knew you were like those boggards!"
The next few minutes were filled with flying meatballs and snapping tongues, and the Muse finally deemed Malek worthy of staying in her district. Hooken was NOT amused. "Wait a minute! I have to go 20 miles out of town up a mountain and retrieve an ancient meteor, and he gets to eat meatballs?!?!?"
"Yes," was the Muse's placid response.

And thus the GM got rid of that pesky, "One PC can pass the test with a Performance Combat roll." It was an attack roll. It counted. Case closed.
The rest of the party was not nearly so kind to Malek, especially as the quests started piling up. Irwin's quest really didn't sound that bad: After learning that he was a "stealthy" fighter, not a "tanky" fighter, the Muse asked whether he would be willing to play hide-and-seek with her "children". Irwin rolled a high enough Sense Motive to notice that Osond was petrified by this idea. Templari asked whether the "children" would hurt Irwin. The Muse insisted the children were quite playful, and wouldn't hurt a hair on his head. And so Irwin's quest was determined.

Templari's interview was poignant, but short. "I see that you are a holy warrior, but I do not recognize the symbol. Who is your god?"
"Iomedae, goddess of Justice and Righteousness."
"I have never heard of her."
"If you remember Earthfall..."
Templari had to trail off there, because the Muse had frozen solid, like a statue. Osond looked sternly at Templari and shook his head forcefully. As they waited, a single tear streamed down the Muse's cheek. Osond asked everyone whether they had had enough refreshments, as if this were a perfectly normal occurrence. After two or three minutes, the Muse suddenly animated again. "I see that you are a holy warrior, but I do not recognize the symbol. Who is your god?"
Templari took the hint and avoided any mention of Earthfall. The Muse was very pleased with what she heard. "Your task is the simplest of all. My people are attacked by a blood-sucking creature at night. It avoids me, and my warriors (with a stern glance towards Osond) have been unable to capture it or drive it away. The women, children, and animals come to me for protection, but I expect the warriors to be able to defend themselves. Since they have proved unable to do this, I would like you to help them in whatever way you deem fit."
A bit more discussion as to where the creature was coming from and what evidence they had, and Templari was chomping at the bit to race off and slay this abomination right now. But the interview wasn't over, and the creature had only been seen at night. But the Muse had chosen her quest well for this particular paladin.

Kwai Chang was next, and carefully explained to the Muse that he was from a temple that trained the body and the mind, and eschewed material things. This was so contrary the Muse's desire for permanent works of art that she was perplexed for a moment. The man seemed to mean well, but his concept of value was so misguided as to make him a rather hopeless case. She finally came to a realization as to what she could do with him. She turned to Osond. "Osond, Ranjitha indicated that she wanted to speak with me about something very important. Please tell her I am ready to hold audience for her."
"Yes, m'Lady."
Watching Osond scurry down the steps for the umpteenth time, the party began to understand why he looked like he was in such great shape.
"Young monk, I have a task for you that is neither trivial, nor important to the world. But it is important to me. You see, Osond's birthday is approaching. The humans here see that I cannot remember things, and they believe I do not remember their birthdays. But I remember the day that every single one of them was born, for they are all important to me. And Osond is particularly dear to me. As you have noticed, he is a rather... flamboyant dresser. I don't know why all the chieftans dress that way, but it seems to be some kind of tradition. But he is very, very fond of feathers. And I have seen a great bird in the sky, the size of a roc, but with the bright plumage of a parrot. It always comes from the east, from beyond the boggard's territory. If you are truly a wise warrior, find a way to approach this bird, and fetch me some of these feathers for Osond. Perhaps two yellows, a red, and a blue would do."
"And know that this may be no easy task. I do not know the nature of this bird. It must have some magical nature to be so huge and yet still be able to fly. If it is merely a beast, I ask that you find a way to take the feathers without killing it. It may prove too powerful for you, and you may need to fight it or flee from it. I would prefer that you get the feathers without harming it. If it is an abomination, I do not mind if you slay it."
"Yes, m'Lady. It shall be done."

Athelya was last, and once again had little claim to artistic ability. She tried to convince the Muse that being able to cast Mending was a "cool thing", but the Muse would have none of it. She asked, "Are you a clever planner?"
Yes. I admit it. I just asked it to watch the reactions of the kids around the table. Sometimes I am a Bad Man.
When Athelya answered in the affirmative, the Muse continued: "In their last attacks before the vampire came, the boggards knew... things about me. Things they could not possibly have known. But they knew, and it disturbed me. I captured and questioned several of them, and they said that their oracle had revealed the information to them. I would like you to find some way to determine how the oracle is getting information about me. This will not be an easy task. It may be the deadliest task I am sending any of you on. Will do you it?"
Athelya agreed to try, and the quests were assigned.

At that point, Osond returned, carefully escorting an ancient woman in the single-most magnificent sari anyone in the party had ever seen. The woman was at least 90, and probably well beyond. She hobbled along weakly, each step obviously causing her discomfort. As she reached the steps to the Muse, she slowly started climbing. The Muse made no effort to help her. Templari nearly exploded and ran down the steps to help, but decided it had to be some kind of test. And Osond was there, helping the poor woman climb.
After several minutes, the woman arrived before the Muse and bowed, at least as much as her aged spine would allow. The Muse tilted her head in return. "Ranjitha. To what do I owe the honor of your visit?"
"M'Lady. I have woven beautiful clothing and tapestries for our people for over eighty years now..."
The Muse nodded in acknowledgement.
"And now, as arthritis racks my body, and pain prevents me from doing even the simplest of tasks, I am done. I ask to be done, and to be honored for my work."
Osond openly gaped. The Muse was moved nearly to tears. "Oh, my dear Ranjitha! Of course this shall be done! You have created so much beauty over your lifetime! How could I offer you any less?"
"We were going to see the children anyway. Let us go there immediately. Osond, make arrangements."
"Yes, M'Lady."

The Muse scooped up Ranjitha with incredible gentleness, then slithered along the ground southward, her smooth movements almost hypnotic in their care. Even then, Templari in particular had trouble keeping up with her pace. Irwin was beginning to wonder about the nature of the "children". They soon came to an immense ball court, perhaps 750 feet long and 250 feet wide, divided into two courts, with bleachers all around. The courts themselves were pockmarked with pits and cracks, and surrounded by fallen columns, Incongruously, there were many statues scattered about randomly in the courts.
As the Muse slithered onto the court, cradling Ranjitha, she called out, "Akurian! Ureste! C'mon, boys! Ommara! C'mon girl! There is work to be done!"
Three reptilian creatures came bounding across the courts, obviously excited to see their mistress. As I brought up the picture in Roll20, all the kids said, "Awww! How cute!"
Impus Minor then rolled Knowledge: Arcana to identify the creatures. Basilisks.
I loved watching Deady McDeaddead's face as the realization dawned that he had agreed to play Hide and Seek with a trio of basilisks. Talky McTalktalk put it well. "You're screwed, dude!"

As the excited basilisks bit and clawed at the Muse, she chastised them gently. "Not now, children. First, work. Then, play." Kwai Chang had explicitly stated that he was watching her skin for marking changes or other indications that there might be more than one Muse, as her personality kept changing so drastically. So he was the first to notice that the claws and teeth did not so much as leave an indentation on her alabaster skin.
A group of tribemen led by Osond came in, carrying a magnificent mahogany masterwork loom. They set it very carefully at a level spot in the court. The Muse spoke to the basilisks. "Ureste, Ommarra, back! Akurian, close your eyes!"
The basilisks obeyed, and the Muse gingerly set Ranjitha down. The ancient woman straightened herself proudly, uncurled fingers ravaged by arthritis, and set herself at her loom. The Muse said, "When you are ready, Ranjitha."
Ranjitha arranged herself in a pose as if she were weaving another masterpiece, and whispered, "Now, m'Lady."
Akurian opened his eyes, and Ranjitha turned to stone. Not plain slate or sandstone or some other generic grey stone, but beautiful, perfect marble, capturing every feature of her face and hands. The Muse, a tear in her eye, unslung her bow and touched it to the loom. The loom quickly transformed into the same marble. The Muse started singing, a haunting song of death and rebirth and creation and destruction, and wove Animate Object into the song so that Ranjitha's body could move. She worked her craft, (a 49 on Craft: Sculpture for those interested) turning Ranjitha into an enduring work of art.

When she was done, she turned to the men. "Place her in the promenade, for all to see. She was a great among us, and she was right to ask for this honor."
"Yes, m'Lady. Immediately!"
The men hefted the statue and headed back for the promenade...

...I have no idea why the kids went home so depressed.
(Part 2 tomorrow)

[Supperman]

I'm not sure why they were sad either. I'm surprised they spent an entire session talking to the Muse though.

[Xethos]

I dont know what your talking about. that was my favorite session since we met that captain NPC at the bottom of the lake back on the island. the only reason i could think of is maybe because we decided to try completing templaris quest first.

oh by the way I finally got around to making an acount

[Tacticslion]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH~!

Ooooooooooooooohhhhhh those quests.

Especially...:

Kwai Chang's! After all, "how hard could it be, amirite?!

Incidentally, I ran a game for my wife last night where a villain she captured escaped while she was doing something else, killed some of the soldiers she'd rescued from said villain, and seemingly disappeared. The captain of said soldiers killed himself rather than continue to be mentally enslaved. It... uh... it wasn't a happy session, either.

(That said, she's aware that the villain's flunkies who rescued the villain at least died in the attempt. And the villain herself can't really escape the larger base area*, so there's that, at least. Also, she knows that it's mostly good news to start with.)

But yeah... she was not happy with how it ended, though it was less "depressing" and more "we're now going to end her with great effort and swift justice" type of a thing.

* They're all currently trapped on a gas giant planet, until someone with the key can unlock their ships from the Control Center.

[Supperman]

Xethos wrote:

I dont know what your talking about. that was my favorite session since we met that captain NPC at the bottom of the lake back on the island. the only reason i could think of is maybe because we decided to try completing templaris quest first.

oh by the way I finally got around to making an acount

Hi Xethos, welcome to the forum.

[NobodysHome]

Interview with the Muse, Part II
Once Ranjitha's statue was taken care of, it was time for Hide and Seek! The rules were very simple: Irwin was not allowed to harm the basilisks nor leave the ball court, and the other PCs were not allowed to cast spells to assist him. Otherwise, he was to entertain the children to the best of his ability.

The event itself was quite entertaining: It had taken me 3 hours to build the ball court in Roll20, but the various pits, fallen columns, and statues were spaced perfectly such that, had Irwin had Fast Stealth, he would have been able to dart between them and get across unseen. Instead, the basilisks spotted him moving from obstacle to obstacle, and the chase was on!
I'd been planning on having the Muse interfere by pointing out the hiding Irwin and otherwise meddling, but Deady McDeaddead was in rare form. His parents must have given him caffeine or something. He started off on Round 1 with, "I'm going to spend a ki point to make an Acrobatics roll and do some Wall Running," to which I replied, "It doesn't make you go any faster, does it?"
"No, but I'm putting on a show, aren't I?"
He was that awesome throughout, and the dice helped him immeasurably. As he darted past the first basilisk and went for an astonishing Acrobatics roll that would have put him out of reach for good, a natural 1 ensured he splatted face-first against the wall to make the Muse giggle and clap. (With the -5 house rule for a natural 1 his roll was a 12, well short of the DC 40 he needed to jump the 10' wall in a single bound.) As the basilisks closed after that particular miscue, he used Wall Running again to run up the wall and into the bleachers...

...And now that I'm looking at his character sheet, I see that he has no such ability, and I certainly didn't give him a mythic tier, so yet another, "When you're running kids and they say they're about to do something really cool, grab their character sheets to make sure they can do it first." Ah, well, live and learn.

Anyway, as the basilisks hopelessly failed their INT rolls to anticipate that he would end up on the other side (and hence continued moving to where he had been), he chose to do a massive 20' long jump with a double flip off the top of the bleachers, adding a couple of tumbles for show. A natural 20 on the die allowed him to execute it perfectly, delighting the Muse even further. At that point he had plenty of ki points and ki movement to easily outstrip the confused basilisks, so as he exited, the Muse slipped in and hid among the fallen columns.
Her massive 6 Stealth roll made Templari proud, and the basilisks had no problem at all finding her and climbing all over her, biting her and clawing her and making her laugh. To each his (or her) own.

The Muse said goodbye to her basilisks, kissed each one on the snout, and returned to the party. She looked at Irwin seriously. "Irwin Detyl, having delighted both my children and me with your antics, I formally declare you welcome in my territory at any time. Osond, please make a note of this that I may remember. And if you would like to play with the children at any time, please feel free."
Irwin smiled and thanked her. Now THAT is a wise 11-year-old!

The party made their way back to the promenade, discussing which of the Muse's quests they would go on first. Both Hooken and Kwai Chang wanted to head east immediately, judging that getting magical weapons would help them immensely in all their other quests. Templari wanted to kill the vampire first, as people's lives were in real danger right now, and they should not leave the area for a single night while the vampire yet lived. Templari was about to be overruled by the rest of the party when the Muse spoke, with eyes flashing of blackness and distant galaxies. "While I know I did not suggest any particular order, I would also prefer that you first stop my people from being killed before leaving the city."
That ended the argument quite abruptly in Templari's favor.

As they approached the promenade, they declared that they wanted to look for Ranjitha's statue, but they needn't have bothered. There, in all her glory, was Ranjitha, placed in a position of honor in the middle of the promenade. Surrounding her were dozens of beautiful tapestries, done in silks and wool and other materials. Fresh-picked flowers were strewn across the tapestries, and a few dozen mourners were crying, or singing, or praising her, or marveling at her work and the Muse's respect for her.
The kids all got glassy-eyed for a moment, and then Templari walked up, prayed at Ranjitha's statue, noticed the dozen or two other great artists who had received this honor over the years/decades/centuries/millenia of the Muse's reign, and prayed to each of them as well.

After that, the party set to work. They asked whether anyone had seen the vampire, but all who had seen it were slain. They had the corpses (petrified to prevent them from rising as vampires) and the tracks. The creature was obviously quadrupedal and bestial, and its bite marks were more that of an animal than a traditional vampire. The kids all immediately declared it a "vampire werewolf", so we're going with that. The vampire werewolf started in the southeast of the district, but as Osond increased patrols there, it moved its way northwards, always avoiding patrols and attacking lone victims. The attacks had decreased significantly since the women, children, and animals started sleeping at the ziggurat, but recently an entire patrol of 3 men had been slaughtered and drained.
As the party once again discussed leaving for a few days to shop or to get better weapons, Templari was adamant: They were going to pursue the creature tonight. On hearing this, the Muse started singing and swaying, dancing in an oval approximately 20 feet by 10 feet. As the party watched, a magnificent dining table, chairs, and a beautiful feast came into being. None of the party had a high enough Spellcraft roll to know what magic this was, but there were 11 places around the table, an empty space at one end, and a silver dog dish at the other. Once her song was done and the feast was complete, the Muse sat at the head of the table, though her place setting was bare. Osond sat to her right. The party (including Heron) made up another eight places, and Osond invited three of his warriors to dine with them.

The Muse explained that they had to sit at the table for an entire hour, dining and feasting and having pleasant conversation, and at the end of that hour if they were still at the table, her boon would stay with them throughout the night as they hunted the vampire.

And so they sat, and the conversation started...

[NobodysHome]

In case anyone's wondering, Athelya kicked things off at the table, then we stopped at 9 sharp even though everyone wanted to keep going (I had "homework"), and we're continuing the conversation in e-mail. As usual, I'll post highlights, but it'll be at a trickle until Monday's game.

And yes, Monday's session will either be titled, "Templari the Vampire Slayer" or "Templari the Vampire Fodder", depending on how things go...

[Supperman]

I went looking for ways to safely play with a basilisk, and discovered ferrets and weasels are immune to them. On playing with them, all I found involves polymorphing or is prohibitively expensive. Blindfolds could work, but then you couldn't run away as well.

[justaworm]

Should have had Irwin do the whole performance blindfolded. "Now we wouldnt want the children to turn you solid, would we?"

A character should be able to try and wall run just using acrobatics, just at a sizeable DC. A 45 degree incline is +5, I think a +20 or so would be in order for a 90 degree incline.

[NobodysHome]

justaworm wrote:

Should have had Irwin do the whole performance blindfolded. "Now we wouldnt want the children to turn you solid, would we?"

A character should be able to try and wall run just using acrobatics, just at a sizeable DC. A 45 degree incline is +5, I think a +20 or so would be in order for a 90 degree incline.

Don't think for a moment the whole, "I'll run with my eyes closed the whole time," wasn't the very first thing everyone suggested.

I nixed the idea. Because it wouldn't have been any fun. For me.

[Tacticslion]

Xethos wrote:

I dont know what your talking about. that was my favorite session since we met that captain NPC at the bottom of the lake back on the island. the only reason i could think of is maybe because we decided to try completing templaris quest first.

oh by the way I finally got around to making an acount

Supperman wrote:

Hi Xethos, welcome to the forum.

Yes indeed, hello! Sorry I didn't greet you earlier - I got lost in trying to come up with a slightly snarky joke and forgot to actually write anything. Not that I'm easily distracte- OOH, SHINY!

[NobodysHome]

Tacticslion wrote:

Xethos wrote:

I dont know what your talking about. that was my favorite session since we met that captain NPC at the bottom of the lake back on the island. the only reason i could think of is maybe because we decided to try completing templaris quest first.

oh by the way I finally got around to making an acount

Supperman wrote:

Hi Xethos, welcome to the forum.

Yes indeed, hello! Sorry I didn't greet you earlier - I got lost in trying to come up with a slightly snarky joke and forgot to actually write anything. Not that I'm easily distracte- OOH, SHINY!

Oh, c'mon, TL! I was seriously hoping you'd do a count on that table and make an appropriate joke/comment...

[Tacticslion]

Xethos wrote:

I dont know what your talking about. that was my favorite session since we met that captain NPC at the bottom of the lake back on the island. the only reason i could think of is maybe because we decided to try completing templaris quest first.

oh by the way I finally got around to making an acount

Supperman wrote:

Hi Xethos, welcome to the forum.

Tacticslion wrote:

Yes indeed, hello! Sorry I didn't greet you earlier - I got lost in trying to come up with a slightly snarky joke and forgot to actually write anything. Not that I'm easily distracte- OOH, SHINY!

NobodysHome wrote:

Oh, c'mon, TL! I was seriously hoping you'd do a count on that table and make an appropriate joke/comment...

I... I ran out of Focus.

(Have I mentioned, I'm ADD? 'Cause I'm AD- hey! Lookatthat~!)

[Tacticslion]

Oh, hey! I've a request to make of you, NH, though it'll eat into your precious, precious time and, though I could totally do it, by time, I'm not going to, being a jerk* and all, and it'd be pretty swell.

Could you, please, make a post akin to:

WHAT THE POST MIGHT LOOK LIKE wrote:

UPDATE STATUS
> AP: City of Spears; SsSk
> Allied with: <faction(s)>; Enemies: <factions, individuals>
> Deceased: Name, v. <what>, etc.
> Current: Name (Nickname; forum handle if any), etc.

... if you don't mind? My attention deficit is catching up to me, and I'm starting to have a hard time remembering who is whom sometimes.**

* Mostly. Also forgetful, but I'm pretty sure it's just the spite. Yeah, that's what most people tend to think, I'm sure.
** Okay, that's most of the time. But still. That's just because I probably hate everyone, or something? Or so I'm told. :D

[captain yesterday]

Someone always take blind fighting at my table, specifically for putting a blindfold on during the occasional fight.

Goes back to Jade Regent and sending the dwarf in to bait the Soggy River Monster out of it's lair...

[NobodysHome]

CURRENT STATUSES (since the kids asked for the identical information) IN BOOK ORDER:

Nareem Daress, ghost: Killed once. Looted. Awaiting a Hallow spell to annihilate him once the party can afford the material components. Not a happy ghost.

Charau-ka, military district: Conquered, with Olujimi and Grugonoth dead and Akkituk captured. Templari promised to release Akkituk once they had "finished" in the district.

Kech, mercantile district: Conquered, but in a friendly way. The party slaughtered half of them during their initial encounter, but since then have been providing food and protection to the kech. In return, the kech are behaving themselves. The crocodile, chimerae, and bat are all dead.

Serpentfolk, government district: Free and presumed hostile. The party met Akarundo in the open field and were forced to flee; only his fear of going toe-to-toe with a paladin prevented them from serious losses.

Vegepygmies, residential district: Friendly. Once the party killed the spiders, the vegepygmies demanded tribute. The party responded with 3 tons of bat guano. The vegepygmies appreciated this. Egzimora had some fun with the party, but Heron and Chivane did her in.

Various Denizens, the lake: Unknown. For some reason the party saw the pirhana swarms and the giant crocodiles and chose not to go swimming.

Humans, artsian district: Neutral-friendly. Three party members have completed their assigned quests from the Muse. The other four need to complete theirs before the alliance is cemented. But it's pretty much, "Friendly, but waiting for formal negotiations to conclude."

Boggards, farming district: No contact has been made. They know the boggards are enemies of pretty much everyone else (the troglodytes, humans, and charau-ka) and worship some sort of "Green God", but they have not made contact.

Troglodytes, temple district: No contact has been made. They know that Chivane's artifact is in the spire there, but they fear the stench, and know the trogs worship an ancient version of the mantis god dedicated to bloodbath and destruction.

Yog'oltha: They still have no idea exactly where he lives or what he is, but they know that:
(a) They can't hurt him,
(b) He can Dominate them,
(c) He fears the Muse.
Otherwise he was just made aware of the party just before they went and hid in the Artisan District. Hilarity will ensue, I'm sure.

Other things they know:
- There is a giant parrot-like creature that nests east of Boggard territory
- There is a vampire werewolf somewhere in boggard territory

That about wraps up what they know at the moment!

Ah, I see you also wanted to know about factions and PCs. I have to run off to the doctor's, but I can at least do a quick faction update:
- They are officially working for the Pathfinders
- The Free Captains are making a killing providing teleportation of gear to sell to them. Yes, of course they're also searching for booty to plunder around the city, but why risk your lives when someone else'll do it, hand the stuff over to you, and let you sell it for a tidy profit?
- The Red Mantis consists of Chivane solo'ing in my campaign, because that makes a heck of a lot more sense for her back story. She is allied with the party, and most of them have promised to deliver the artifact to her.
- The Sargawan Government just arrived and is openly hostile, but hasn't made a move... yet.
- The Aspis Consortium is definitely an enemy, since Xethos/Baron/Athelya's "brilliant" plan got their entire carvan wiped out and they're a month behind everyone else.

Oops! Doctor time!

[Tacticslion]

Woo~! Awesome! :D
Thanks!

EDIT: To add an important word! XD

[NobodysHome]

OK. Let's see if I can get all this organized in chronological order:

Impus Major: Malek, grippli barbarian 9. The sole survivor. The mighty. Malek has never fallen. Malek of the mushy brain. Malek of the hopeless Will save. Malek the barfy. Malek the lusty. Malek the... OK. I'm done now.

Impus Minor: Hooken, half-elf ranger 9 (and Heron). Let's see...
- Heron was killed by the cannibals in Souls for Smuggler's Shiv, but reincarnated as... a wolf by Aycenia
- Hooken was first killed at level 7 in City of Seven Spears by the chimerae raining acid upon him. One of Mr. Stereotype's ideas, I should mention. Chalk another one up to Xethos!
- Hooken was killed again in City of Seven Spears, this time at level 8, and this time by Egzimora's Scorching Rays. And yet again, it was Mr. Stereotype insisting that, even though the party was exhausted, wounded, and virtually out of resources, they should pick that fight

Deady McDeadDead, the only other member of our original trio. It's a LOOOOOONG list:
- Sole, half-elf druid 2. After failing to take Knowledge: Nature, absolutely flubbing every Swim check he ever made, and generally being the most useless character ever put to paper, Sole first tried to drown himself, then, failing that, ran across the trap runes that Xethos had put out to protect the camp in Souls for Smuggler's Shiv.
- Jason, Elf Ninja 4. Killed by cannibals who attacked at night after the party had killed most of their number. Again, Souls for Smuggler's Shiv.
- Blaarg Cracktooth, half-orc barbarian 1/battle oracle 3. When Xethos admitted to the crew of the rescue ship that he'd been responsible for their crewmates' capture by ghouls, Blaarg tried to intimidate the captain into backing down. Failing that, he attacked the captain. The crew members (and Heron) beat Blaarg to death as he continued to struggle
- Izren, undine gunslinger. Izren survived all the way to City of Seven Spears, but was so miraculously useless that no one appreciated him. However, recall that he had a 0-point build, and saved the party not once but TWICE! That's some roleplaying/rolling there, Mr. Deady.
- Irwin, elf ninja 9. Let's try an elf ninja again. Enjoys hide-and-seek with basilisks

Mr. Stereotype. A long and honored list.
- Xethos, kobold sorcerer 4. Xethos will always hold a place in my heart for managing to kill off two other PCs, an NPC (Jask), and nearly seven other generic NPCs through his brilliant leadership. Unfortunately, his legend was cut short when, fed up by Malek and Hooken arguing over whether or not to rescue a fish, he wandered alone into the first chamber of the Azlanti Temple in Souls for Smuggler's Shiv and was shish kebobbed by serpentfolk skeletons
- Baron Terroskas Terranact, syrinx sorcerer 6. Baron helped get Jask killed again, then Nkechi the Tempest, continuing Mr. Stereotype's litany of lethality towards his own party. Unfortunately, in Tazion in Racing to Ruin, the party attracted pretty much every charau-ka in the entire area, Baron rained fireballs down upon them (notice a theme?), and everyone else... stood around. So the charau-ka stoned him to death
- Athelya, dhampir flame oracle 8. Athelya got up close and personal with olujimi and got torn to shreds. She got raised, and is now level 9

Talky McTalkTalk. Aka t-ko, aka "I'm tired of playing this character ineffectively, I want to play a different character ineffectively!"
- Started as a female Zen Archer paladin, but didn't like her, so left her with Pezock in Souls for Smuggler's Shiv.
- Narmina Seraphim, female gnome bard 7. Ah, Malek's True Love, and the butt of many a hilarious hijink, Narmina sacrificed her life in the ziggurat in Tazion in Racing to Ruin by moving in to heal Malek as he battled Chu-Tok the serpent one-on-one, and Rogru the charau-ka took a full-round attack and tore her apart. The kids have issues with charau-ka
- Nethiri Mesmer, female vishkanya magus 7. Does anyone even remember her? I sure don't. She came in right after Narmina died (in the ziggurat in Tazion in Racing to Ruin), and stepped right up to take a full-round attack from a girallon, once again to protect Malek. What is it about beautiful young maidens of Talky's sacrificing themselves for Malek?
- Templari Bourne, female ngagi paladin of Iomedae 9. Well, Templari hasn't died yet, but she doesn't carry a bow, so it's only a matter of time...

He who has yet to be named: Voren, tiefling alchemist 9. Joined on the journey to Tazion in Racing to Ruin, but hasn't died yet

Xethos' Dad: Kwai Chang, human monk 9. Poor Xethos' dad. An old-school D&D'er who just can't believe just how badly they nerfed the monk. He does his best to stay chipper, but when all you can do is run really fast and hide, you feel more like a chipmunk than a contributing party member. Fortunately, a level head and a wealth of experience more than makes up for Kwai Chang's relative lack of combat efficacy.

I think that's it. Let me post and see...

OK, going through the list, looks like Mr. Stereotype has managed to be involved in the decision-making on 7 of those 11 deaths.

With great leadership comes great obituaries! Woo hoo!

[Tangent101]

You could let him play an Unchained Monk. Sure, they nerfed Will Saves but otherwise the class is a bit better....

[CorvusMask]

Ye, unmonk is a lot better if you want to focus on fighting

[Supperman]

I was also thinking of Unchained Monk.

Thanks for all the information, Nobody'sHome.

[Norin d'orien]

The summary of NPCs and PCS was much apreciated! Thank you!

[NobodysHome]

Talky (t-ko. Whatever) has corrected me: Apparently Nethiri was another of Mr. Stereotypes. Apparently he burned through quite a few PCs in Tazion... didn't SEEM like that bad of a place...

[Dawning Aegis]

Greetings all. I am Talky McTalkTalk, in-game as Narmina/Templari. I have debated about getting on this forum, and have spent LITERALLY WEEKS procrastinating before doing it in a few minutes. And thus, here I am to leave little comments about our misadventures.

Should be fun.