Tough Words from a Sensai (please add!)


Advice

Silver Crusade

I am working a Sensei into shape, and want to play her high wisdom and low charisma with a collection of sarcastic or bitter bits of advice when inspiring courage. The character is also a knowledge skill monkey, so anything related to Golorion would also be great!

A few so far:

Topical
Tank fighting is not a boxing match
Aim a little higher/lower/to the left
To hit hard, swing easy
Use the pointy end!
Keep your eye on the maul
That's ok. I never figured that one out until after my 50th year.

Generic
Endure and Renew
Mastery without Form
Masters guide me

Geographic
A colleague of mine plans to sail to the eye of Abenago. Your plan is somehow more dangerous still, and less well thought out.

The Qadiri have a tradition of feasting the night before battle, we seem to be doing it during. (drinks potion)

The devil is on the details. Or so they say in Celiax.

The ancient Osiriani would use a crook and flail to herd their (magic beast).

In Mendev, it's uncommon for a household to ever run out of holy water. Or alcohol.

I got a warmer reception than this at the gate of Belkzen, and that was with a dwarf, elf, and ranger in my party.

The Exchange

Adventuring is tough. Wear a cup.

(Even funnier when said by a female character - or Venture Captain...)

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Maps Subscriber

My Sensei is a Follower of Irori

Each of us must follow their path to perfection, you appear to have stumbled.

While I appreciate your attempts at feinting, the (creature) appears to have missed your subtle approach (after a close miss).

Bend like a reed in the wind, next time to the left (after being hit)

The wind knocks down the stubborn oak, but the willow drifts with the breeze, guess which you are (after getting knocked prone)

Cold? (after being fireballed)

I think you will find more wisdom at the end of a book then at the bottom of a tankard (after failing a save or knowledge check)(As a drunken master, i would follow this one with "but at least I am a follower of a god of knowledge")

Advice is best followed, not led (when they go before you and waste an action or miss by your advice bonus)


They dont seem very sarcastic. To me.
I like the one from kunf fu panda where Sifu, after a sparring says: "very good students, if your intention was to dissapoint me!..."

You can say things like:
"Why is that guy still standing? Do you think he is on your side?"
"I can find a trainer mokey that figth better than you."
"At least have the decency to look ashamed when you make a cool of your self."
"If you stop trying to impress the girls and focus, pehaps you can manege to hit the man."
But the comic relief effect wont always be as big:)


" Your failure has cause me to forget some of my own training!"

" I am sure you can take advantage of your enemies laughter now"

" wearing down your foes weapons with your own body..is not wise idea"

" A stupid move that works...is not so stupid it seems."

" Perhaps shouting before ambushing your target appeared wise in your mind..."

" Your moves are fluid and graceful..if you were a pregnant hippo on stilts....."

" I will be in the bar....."

"next time you can do that with my eyes shut."


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"Young cleric, you may be able to cure disease, but no one can cure idiots"

"Are you trying to kill them or impress them with your dance moves?"

"I am sure you impressed that princess when you caught that ax with your face"

"You might be stealthy and silent yet if you spoke everything you were thinking about"

"With attacks like that, you might even be able to take care of the itch on his back"

"Your sword must be so proud it came into your hands instead of being turned into kitchen ware"


To defeat the enemy one must actually hit them (After missing due to the penalty of power attack)

Block with your weapon not your body (After being hit)

They say ignorance is bliss; it must be nice to be so carefree and happy.


From my kendo teacher in Japan:

Discipline is freedom.

3 years on a rock (you have to suck for 3 years before you can begin to get good at anything)

There is injury, and their is pain. Pain is to be ignored.


"You seem to think you're expendable. You may well be right..."

Shadow Lodge

Just watch Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and copy down everything Chiun says ;)

Shadow Lodge

"You are like mud, you can neither be beat down nor built up."

Scarab Sages

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Sammy T wrote:
Just watch Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and copy down everything Chiun says ;)

You move like a pregnant yak!


You're sucking harder than an air elemental!

Seems you don't know the definition of insanity!

Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee... NOT the other way around!

I've seen harder showmanship from elderly courtesans!

Argh, you stink... are you SURE your mother wasn't a Troglodyte?

I said FLANK, not PLANK!

The Exchange

Like the butterflies cocoon, you need to harden up.

You seem to have set a new low benchmark. ...and failed to reach it.

It seems you reached the lowest point of the well of intelligence ...and began to dig.

I feel dumber for having watched that move.


chkflip wrote:

You're sucking harder than an air elemental!

Seems you don't know the definition of insanity!

Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee... NOT the other way around!

I've seen harder showmanship from elderly courtesans!

Argh, you stink... are you SURE your mother wasn't a Troglodyte?

I said FLANK, not PLANK!

Have you been taking dance lessons from earth elementals?

You make fire elementals look level headed.

Did a yellow water elemental attack you pants?


I studied Wing Chun under a Sifu whose English was better than my Chinese by a loooooong shot however his accent used to make for some funnies. He would say:

"Punch him in the throke" (throat)
"Jump on your balls" (balls of the feet that is)
"Unnastands?" (Understand?)

These ones have stuck with me for years. If I can think of any others, I will post.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LJytqM_e90

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Maps Subscriber

You can also quote from this song


Taenia wrote:
You can also quote from this song

Heh, I prefer this version myself. ;)


(.)


"I once met a Paladin of Asmodeus, he too struggled with the concept of being good."


"Are you sure you aren't a cleric of Cayden, since you fight like you are drunk"

"Are you trying to convert to Zon-Kuthor? Because you have to be taking those hit on purpose"

The Exchange

"You punch like a marshmallow!"

"Even my grandmother hits harder then you!"

"I could hit <insert bad guy> with my eyes closed, and you cant do it with your eyes open?"


"You remind me of the boil on my ass. It too bothers me every time I sit down." -Gheed, Diablo II


"Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow..."

Scarab Sages

You could always go the dirty old man sensei trope, ala Master Roshi (Dragonball Z), Master Wong (Balls of Fury).

Also, "If you can dodge a (insert noun), you can dodge a ball"

Scarab Sages

Pai Mei from Kill Bill is also an inspiration.

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