| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Pyroclastic Spike
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This 3-foot long magically-reinforced obsidian rod is capped with a globe of volcanic glass at one end, and a gleaming spike at the other. Veins of molten earth glow faintly beneath the rod’s surface, flowing from a swirling fiery mass at the orb’s core.
Three times per day on command, the wielder may activate the rod to receive temporary resistance to fire as if under the effects of resist energy, gaining 20 points of fire resistance for 1 hour.
Once per day, the spiked end can be driven into sand, mud, or loose earth as a move action, into dense soil or loose gravel as a standard action, or into stone or metal as a full-round action. Once anchored, a path 5 feet wide and 30 feet long erupts with rivulets of lava in the direction of the wielder’s choosing, originating in a square adjacent to the anchored pyroclastic spike. Creatures standing in the path take 2d6 fire damage as the ground spews forth super-heated sulfuric gases and begins to liquefy. 1 round after anchoring the rod, the affected area dissolves into a molten river 5 feet deep. The river of lava damages any barriers it encounters until it is able to flow freely forward to the full range of effect. The lava persists until the pyroclastic spike is removed from the ground, at which point the affected area immediately cools. Any creature in the lava is allowed a Reflex save (DC 16) to escape before the area is hardened to obsidian.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, firefall, resist energy; Cost 14,000 gp
The first power is a SiaC. The second power gives details of everything except what happens when the area is a river of lava. I am forced to default to the rules for lava, which indicate that a creature that was forced to stay in the region for a round (say by being tripped) would suffer 20d6 fire damage per round. The rod doesn't allow for a Reflex save to avoid the lava or even describe anything about what happens at the river of lava stage. Honestly, the first SiaC power seems tacked on. Removing it for more words to try to actually adjudicate the river of lava might have given a complicated power the attention it deserved and avoided the big issues with the submission. Vote to Reject.
Unlike my other two rejected items in the Top 32, I see the appeal in this one. The item's concept is cool, and the author wasted words where they were unnecessary and ran out having failed to adjudicate literally the most important part of the item (since the river of lava is by far the most awesome part!) Out of so many items submitted this year, that gaffe was large enough to earn a full Reject vote from me, but I also admit seeing a spark there too. I want this author to keep the creativity and win me back in future rounds by being wiser about where they spend their word count (and tighten language use in general) and more sure about avoiding ambiguities. Showing growth in that way would ameliorate my lingering concerns and doubts, whereas failing to so would indicate a bad habit or trend for t he author.
Hi there! I'll be one of the judges for this round, and I'll be looking at a couple of key points for your item: flavor, usability, and how the item is presented. For some background, I helped found the Wayfinder fanzine before I started working for Paizo, and I oversee every third-party Pathfinder Roleplaying Game product that makes its way onto Paizo.com.
Flavor
Ooh, nice name, and description of its appearance is pretty spot-on for the name.
Usability
You can wreak some havoc with this item, no matter whose side you're on. I think I would have preferred a constant fire resistance effect rather than a three times per day option.
Presentation
Starting a sentence with a number, and wow, the river of lava effect seems way over the top (especially for the price of this item). Some language awkwardness.
Final Thoughts
Very flavorful item that needs some adjustments—but the core concept is sound. I do recommend this item for advancement.
Kept.
Modules Overlord
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
My approach to judging these items is "How would I approach this as a developer?" If I would be pleased by the turnover and not see any reason to give negative feedback to the writer, that's great! If I'd keep it but it would take a lot of work or I'd want to let the writer know what needed improvement, that's fine but not perfect. If I'd scrap the item because it would be faster to write new material myself, that's bad.
I actually agree with both mark and Liz. There are some significant rules problems, especially with the river of lava, that need to be fixed. The fire resistance doesn't have to take 35 words to say "On command three times per day, the wielder gains resist energy (only for fire resistance)." The items caster level can tell me who much fire resistance I get and for how long (70 minutes vs 60 minutes isn't worth an extra three words). It certainly doesn't have to say "on command... the wielder may activate the rod" or "receive temporary resistance to fire as if under the effects of resist energy, gaining 20 points of fire resistance."
But the core idea is neat, and if the river of lava is redefined as lavalike material with a reasonable damage rating, it becomes a neat terrain-manipulating item.
Congrats, Brian, on back-to-back appearances. I saw the spike several times voting, and think I most upvoted it thanks in large part to the cinematics. How cool would it be to pull out in the middle of a fight, slam it down and suddenly you've got LAVA!
Best of luck going forward.
Congrats, Another one of the items that I saw many times. In fact I saw it 15times in the polls. I like the idea but feel you need to add more detail to give it some balance (I know the 300 word limit made that hard). I though it was very original but lacking in sound rules mechanics. Very unbalanced but the idea seems to have won you thru.Good Luck in the next round.
Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
|
I saw this during voting and thought it had a tight concept and would be loads of fun at the table. Good job.
I thought the actions required to drive the rod into different materials made loads of sense and was a valuable addition to the entry.
I agree with earlier observations, you say 2d6 fire damage and it's easy to assume that the lava does 2d6 fire damage too, making it a little confusing.
Well done and good luck for the rest of the contest.
Neat concept, but I downvoted this when I saw it, because I immediately thought about how much damage lava does.
This just doesn't grab me at all. The only thing I liked was the description of the item, and it doesn't seem to infer mechanical creativity or flavor.
I like that it takes different actions to place in different terrain, but why is that particularly important?
Mostly it feels like a spell in your hand/SIAC.
I have no particular criticisms that haven't already been brought up, I don't think. I agree that a much-clearer mechanics section on how the lava works and affects people caught in it would have been very good. Additionally, what status condition applies to people caught in the lava once it hardens? Entangled? Slowed? Grappled? Presumably you can't move out of the lava, but your upper body is still free... or is it? How deep is the lava flow? Probably not enough to swallow a Medium-sized creature, sure, but some Small creatures could conceivably be in trouble. Could creatures stuck in hardened lava escape with an STR check?
These are all important considerations for making your mechanics support the admittedly-really-cool image you've painted.
I also am not sold on the name... though I probably can't really throw stones when it comes to using unusual words in my item name, ahem.
Thanks for the feedback so far! I'm excited to be back for this year's competition and thought you might like some insight into what I was thinking when writing up the pyroclastic spike.
First off, I will agree that the mechanics of the lava flow should be redefined. I intentionally avoided doing so for fear that introducing new lava mechanics would land me in the territory of trying to fix existing rules of the game, which I know is frowned upon. Owen's suggestion of calling it "lavalike" would have let me attach some clearer rules, but then I worried it would lose the I get to play with lava? excitement from the player's perspective.
I wrote and rewrote a few different rules clarifications and finally decided that there were too many corner-cases to cover. Ultimately, a GM would have to interpret exactly what happens when the lava hits an obstacle, or exactly how much of a person would need to be submerged before taking that dreaded 20d6 points of fire damage. Part of this is that there just aren't many clarifications about how lava works in the game. The existing rules are terrifyingly vague. Maybe that's why designers in the past have shied away from using it? Lava doesn't seem to show up often, either in PFS scenarios, existing magic items, or even spells and creatures. (Though maybe I just could't find many of the places it shows up?) When it does show up, it's often toned back to be far less threatening. Perhaps I should have taken the cue, but then many of the really cool cinematic things the pyroclastic spike is capable of would no longer be possible.
Sure, you could potentially use it as an intimidating door/wall buster, but I think the criticism that it would be used in every siege across Golarion is unfounded. After all, an invading army could buy 25 light catapults and deliver 100d6 points of damage to the enemy’s walls for the same price.
In terms of balance, I tried to price it so that it would be affordable around the same time that other fight-ending options become commonplace, but before every enemy will have the chance to just fly over the affected terrain. I was aiming for about 8th level, which is when I see casters start scooping up boss monsters with aqueous orbs or tricked out rainbow patterns. The pryroclastic spike, even when ruled to be the most deadly, is still far less devastating than some of these spells. Yes, it can end a fight if you manage to dump the enemy in lava, but doing so would require devoting numerous actions or an impressive amount of teamwork. I felt like rewarding that.
I hope this all gives you a better idea of my reasoning for the choices I made when designing this item. I really do appreciate all of the feedback and will take all of your comments into consideration when going forward. Thank you.
|
Star Voter Season 8
|
I think some folks here are missing the core concept of any good "for fun" item - much of the specifics is going to need to boil down to the GM's discretion. Sure, there isn't a lot of rules clarification for lava, but I don't think it's this item's place to clarify a mechanic of a natural occurrence. Making it "lava-like" would be a possibility but would take away some of the thematic appeal of an item like this.
My interpretation is that this item isn't meant to be a game-breaker or a tool for Timmy Power-Gamer. It's meant to be an interesting and unique item that a player picks up for fun or for versatility. A terrain changer in the palm of your hand? Awesome! Potential damage if used properly? Sweet! A sort of "wall-buster"? Yeah, maybe, if it works that way. But ultimately it's not a broken item. It could use some fine-tuning, but given the confines of this competition I thought it was a great entry.
Also, to the people who are saying that this would crumple castles in minutes - as a GM, I would easily and rationally rule that, no, it couldn't. Even if you have a flow of lava appear underneath a sturdy wall, the most it'd do is melt some of the bedrock / foundation, possibly cause the wall to sift or slide, and do some structural damage. The rock melting into the lava would displace the lava's heat and cause it to turn to obsidian. That's how large chunks of rock survive in actual lava flows. Lava is not eternally hot with a never-ending possibility to mulch all materials around it. It's hot - very hot, and can melt some stuff, but just like dropping ice cubes into a pot of boiling water, eventually the ice cubes will melt slower and slower until they do not melt at all. All you got left is a pot of lukewarm, or even cold, water, and lava would do the same thing.
Lava can take a while to cool off in the ocean.
|
Star Voter Season 8
|
Lava can take a while to cool off in the ocean.
Okay - but my point is, a single 5 ft. mote of lava isn't enough to bring down a castle wall as some posters are inclined to believe. It could do some damage, sure, but the removal of the spike will also cause the lava to instantly harden and cool. Better keep that rod inserted into the ground safe and keep an enemy from yanking it for... however many hours it'd take to cause enough melting / damage to a wall to actually burst an opening for yourself...
GM discretion is a heck of a thing.
This was another rod that I liked a lot, but just didn't quite make my keeper list.
Some slight comma issues int the first sentence. Cool and evocative description.
I don't like how it is a rod without a slightly weird activation method...and in fact it just says generically "activate".
Slight nitpick on the term "loose earth", folks could stretch that into abuse.
Super cinematic and cool abilities on theme.
Overall I really liked this, but pricing just felt off and I wanted this to be one of the rods that function as a masterwork or +1 something...since it IS a spike. Maybe even if it functioned as an iron spike.
I feel like this is really undercosted. But I love the idea behind the weapon, everyone should have a rod of suddenly lava.
Lava can take a while to cool off in the ocean.Okay - but my point is, a single 5 ft. mote of lava isn't enough to bring down a castle wall as some posters are inclined to believe.
What is your basis for believing that?
Congratulations on making the Top 32! Good work!
This item went from automatic down-vote to regular up-vote over the course of my voting. Initially it came across as nothing more than a limited SIAC with a daily nova attack. This seems to be a problem with presentation, though, as further consideration of the cool visuals eventually sold me on it.
Congratulations on making it to the Top 32!
I'm the opposite of Feros. I went from regular upvotes to regular downvotes. And the reason for that is that I started to come up with more and more ways this item could be misused. Bringing down walls that are not meant to be brought down, flowing liquid death downhill, and just the sheer destructive power of lava. Not a fan. Plus I don't really like items that give resistance bonuses. It's just boring, though at least with this it ties in to the main ability.
That being said, I can understand the appeal. It's a very vivid image and I could sort of see enjoying this while GMing. The look of panic on the players eyes when I suddenly spew lava at them. I simply couldn't trust them to have it.
Nevertheless, the best of luck for the upcoming rounds!
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Mozenrath6
|
First off, I will agree that the mechanics of the lava flow should be redefined. I intentionally avoided doing so for fear that introducing new lava mechanics would land me in the territory of trying to fix existing rules of the game, which I know is frowned upon. Owen's suggestion of calling it "lavalike" would have let me attach some clearer rules, but then I worried it would lose the I get to play with lava? excitement from the player's perspective.
I know it's a little wonky, but I up-voted this item every time I saw it exactly for the I get to play with lava? excitement, so from that point of view I suppose it was a good thing to keep.
Congratulations on making the top 32.
I like this item a lot for the flavor and the ability and I'm not greatly opposed to the resistance.
The name is a little unusual and do be careful with that, not everyone is like me and enjoys unusual words.
Also, it could be so much detailed and many of the critiques are valuable, but then I cannot at all resist the option of scaring lava-fearing players with this item. And the visuals are very nice.
Welcome back, fellow 2014 student! Loved the visuals for this item, and your mind for battlefield manipulation will likely serve you well this year given the map round. Best of luck!
Congrats Brian!
This one just missed out on my top-20, but I liked it a lot. Very evocative first sentence, and fun mechanics that were visually pleasing to my mind.
best of luck in the future rounds
This was a favorite of mine during voting. The great concept and visuals of this item were enough that I was able to overlook some of the mechanical problems. I'm happy to see that this came from the same author as the emberling in last year's monster round (I see you came back to the fire theme). I liked that monster enough to use it for my encounter entry. I think it would be just as fun to build an encounter around the pyroclastic spike.
Congratulations!
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
Congrats on making the top 32.
I liked this item a lot during voting and regularly up voted it. As mentioned, it's simply cool to play with lava. As for the fire resistance, I felt it's a needed part of the item, even if it's a SIAC, since if you're going to play with lava, you should have some protection from it.
I felt that while lava is powerful, the 1 round build up to actual lava is a reasonable way to avoid 20d6 of damage once per day, as well as the short 30 range. Sure you can bring down a castle wall, if you're willing to get within 30 of it and let all of the defenders shoot at you while you're doing it.
Why am I critiquing every item? Well, frankly, I love this sort of thing. I sincerely enjoy editing and the art of the critique. I have long considered starting a blog to that end, and maybe this will be the kickstart I need. Speaking of which, if you want to hire an editor, I'd be happy to help ;)
Regardless, the point of my criticism is always to help. Nothing is perfect, so everything can potentially be made better. My comments will often be less than flattering, but they will never come from a place of malice. The point here is to make your item better, not to make you feel bad.
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? My primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
Now, let's get to the critique!
As always, congratulations on making the top 32. No matter what I thought of your item, you won, and you should feel awesome!
Pyroclastic Spike
This item hooked me with cool imagery and its evocative name only to lose me when I thought about actually seeing it used in game. In the end, there's very little here other than the imagery and name. The effect that is clearly defined (Resist Energy) is worded poorly and boring. The awesome part is too vague. Does it make real lava? Like, 20d6 per turn real lava? How fast does it move towards the limit (I assumed it was instant at first, but the later descriptions of damaging barriers suggests otherwise)? If it's not real lava, how much damage does it deal? If it is real lava, why does it fit in a 5x30 trench instead of melting the surrounding area? What about convection? Why does it use Firefall instead of Obsidian Flow? What happens if someone is trapped in the Obsidian? Are they immobilized? Drowning? Entangled? How hard is it to escape?
So, yeah, this has a lot of issues. If my party found one of these, I'd want to keep it, but after a few discussions with the GM about how it really works, we'd either have a steal of an item, or we'd be selling it post haste. Again, if the GM ruled it was real lava, I would want one for sure, but more than that, I'd want a better GM that understood the implications of an infinite duration 20d6 river of doom.
Very cool concept, very weak execution.
Round 2 begins later today and we're encouraged to refrain from posting much during that time. I wanted to say again how much I appreciate all the feedback you've all given me regarding the pyroclastic spike! Thank you for every word.
And thank you Mark for remembering the emberling from my last year's monster round entry. I remain touched that you decided to use it for your encounter.
Pyroclastic Spike
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.Description
This 3-foot long magically-reinforced obsidian rod is capped with a globe of volcanic glass at one end, and a gleaming spike at the other. Veins of molten earth glow faintly beneath the rod’s surface, flowing from a swirling fiery mass at the orb’s core.Three times per day on command, the wielder may activate the rod to receive temporary resistance to fire as if under the effects of resist energy, gaining 20 points of fire resistance for 1 hour.
Once per day, the spiked end can be driven into sand, mud, or loose earth as a move action, into dense soil or loose gravel as a standard action, or into stone or metal as a full-round action. Once anchored, a path 5 feet wide and 30 feet long erupts with rivulets of lava in the direction of the wielder’s choosing, originating in a square adjacent to the anchored pyroclastic spike. Creatures standing in the path take 2d6 fire damage as the ground spews forth super-heated sulfuric gases and begins to liquefy. 1 round after anchoring the rod, the affected area dissolves into a molten river 5 feet deep. The river of lava damages any barriers it encounters until it is able to flow freely forward to the full range of effect. The lava persists until the pyroclastic spike is removed from the ground, at which point the affected area immediately cools. Any creature in the lava is allowed a Reflex save (DC 16) to escape before the area is hardened to obsidian.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, firefall, resist energy; Cost 14,000 gp
Is the Item Decorative?
Obsidian is generally rather boring to look at. 'It's black' is about all that you can usually say about it. Some effort has apparently been made to make this obsidian item look interesting though, by heating it up to a temperature no doubt highly uncomfortable to most mortals trying to hold said item.
Decorative score? 4 out of 7.
Does the Item have Any Obvious non-Decorative Use Around the Home?
Despite the therapeutic beauty treatment potential offered by the item (instant lava bath!), sadly that function is not one which can be used around most homes. (Well not unless a home is literally built around having somewhere private where the item can be used, and where cooled-down lava can be feasibly removed from afterwards.)
And, for the sake of politeness in current company, let's assume that any other functions of the item are of minimal obvious domestic use to a succubus.
non-Decorative Domestic Use score? 1 out of 7.
Does the Item seem Likely to be Helpful in the Fantasy Setting of an Imaginary World where 'Operation Sealion' is taking Place?
So the (for simplicity's sake) Nasties are lining up with all their little boats to launch an invasion-attempt across a strait upon a nation of perfectly (socially) harmless tea-drinkers. And then there's this item.
So what impact is this item likely to have on proceedings?
If 'Operation Sealion' reaches a beach phase, this item offers considerable scope for causing havoc and controlling the battlefield locally. Mind you, said Operation has to get to a beach-landing phase first.
'Sealion' score? 4 out of 7.
Total: 9 out of 21.
Congratulations for having made it to Top 32 AND Top 16!
Sorry I'm late to the party, I hadn't realized how big a task commenting on everyone else's items was going to be in the Official Critique Thread!
Seeing as how many other people have commented above me, and you've moved well on from this point... I'm going to keep my comments brief. To understand my rating system, see my larger post on my critique thread.
As an overall comment, each and every one of you that made it to the Top 32 must have had a "Publishable" item in my opinion because you appealled to not only the voters but also the judges -- so if I say "Rewrite" it's more to be "rewriteable to be SUPERSTAR!"
Rewrite -- I like your idea (rod of make lava) but I feel like it could have been written in a more interesting way. I don't have a clear suggestion for that though, sorry.
Pyroclastic Spike
... Once per day, the spiked end can be driven into sand, mud, or loose earth as a move action, into dense soil or loose gravel as a standard action, or into stone or metal as a full-round action. ...
Congratulations Brian,
I only saw this once and it was paired with another object that used this same mechanic for driving it into the earth. Resistance was meh & SiC (as others mentioned). I worried it could break the game with a permanent effect, and it could allow certain obstacles to be skipped. (Magic door into the liche's lair? Well lets try the wall it is attached to instead.) I like that this could be a slow but steady way through certain obstacles though and I like the idea of having a party come across a bed of lava and finding an implanted rod at its head. It makes for a nice visual. Oh. wonderful name. :)
Good luck & keep on doing what your doing.
(EDIT: RainydayNinja, this is the item I asked you about :)