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Fate-binder
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 27,001 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This slender +1 mithral returning javelin has Sylvan script etched upon its surface and its haft ends in an eye-shaped loop. A short length of gold thread hangs coiled from the loop with one end fading out of existence.
Three times per day, the fate-binder can be used to momentarily bind together the fates of those it pierces. As it is thrown, the javelin becomes ethereal and draws an intangible, golden thread out of thin air. The wielder makes a single ranged touch attack and compares the result against every creature in a 30-foot line. The magical thread links together creatures hit with the attack until the end of the wielder’s next turn, after which the thread vanishes. This attack leaves the creatures otherwise unharmed. When two or more of the linked creatures are subjected to a spell or effect that involves a saving throw—these creatures must use the lowest die result among them for that saving throw before adding modifiers. The fate-binder retakes its physical form when it returns to its wielder.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, augury, telekinesis; Cost 14,001 gp
Some wording and formatting issues. Sylvan script and the name seem to imply a connection to norns, and the power definitely is in keeping with that. The 3/day ability is quite powerful, but it connects well to the weapon's theme and its weapon abilities of being a returning javelin. Furthermore, the ability works well when comboing with an ally, which lets more people contribute to the success. The problem is that ranged touch attacks (more or less) always hit, so I'd like to see some mechanic that prevents you from giving this to an NPC or summoned mook and has the actual character use it, like rolling against full AC. Nonetheless, this item is a Weak Keep.
Hi there! I'll be one of the judges for this round, and I'll be looking at a couple of key points for your item: flavor, usability, and how the item is presented. For some background, I helped found the Wayfinder fanzine before I started working for Paizo, and I oversee every third-party Pathfinder Roleplaying Game product that makes its way onto Paizo.com.
Flavor
A flying needle? How very Norn-like, and very cool visuals that go along with it. "Fate-stitcher" might have been a better name for it, I think.
Usability
This item would be amazing with a well-oiled group: line 'em up, tie 'em together, then knock 'em down with an AoE.
Presentation
Some missing italics, and switching from "fate-binder" to "javelin" breaks the flow. Otherwise follows style and formatting guidelines.
Final Thoughts
Thematic and focused abilities. I do recommend this item for advancement.
Kept.
Modules Overlord
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My approach to judging these items is "How would I approach this as a developer?" If I would be pleased by the turnover and not see any reason to give negative feedback to the writer, that's great! If I'd keep it but it would take a lot of work or I'd want to let the writer know what needed improvement, that's fine but not perfect. If I'd scrap the item because it would be faster to write new material myself, that's bad.
I'm with Liz on most issues, especially how good this is thematically. There are problems, but they're pretty minor for an item that is as cool an idea as this one. Most importantly, I like it, and it doesn't feel like something I've seen a dozen times before. I'd rate it a strong keep.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
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The theme of the item is tight and flavorful. Mechanically, I think I'd add a -2 penalty for each target beyond the first if I kept it a ranged touch attack. Or maybe change it to an incorporeal touch attack to allow force effects like mage armor or shield to factor in.
--Vrock Superstar
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Not only does this item earn me a top mark in Mikko's Detect Mojo contest, I'm also very pleased to see a familiar name and fellow Freelance Forge member break into the Top 32 yet again.
I especially like how you drew on the Nordic mythology and the Nornes with this item. Scandinavia represent!
I wasn't as much a fan of this one (sorry, Kalervo). The sharing saves just felt very meta to me. I also thought it would be a bit of a pain to actually set up the circumstances in which it's used, though maybe I'm overestimating that issue.
Still, it's obviously well-crafted and I believe I upvoted it most of the time I saw it. Congrats on making the Top 32 once more and good luck going forward! Hopefully third time will be the charm.
If both of you guys have published material on Freelance forge should that not technically DQ you from an amateur contest? Does not seem right.
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Modules Overlord
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It's perfectly possible for an amateur to have a few credits. The rules of the contest are pretty clear on this point.
The contest is open to the general public, with the following exceptions: Employees of Paizo, their immediate family members, and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are ineligible. Anyone who has been employed full-time as a designer for a game company is ineligible. Anyone with a cover credit on a hardcover RPG book is ineligible. Anyone who has a design credit in 3 or more of Paizo's Pathfinder products is ineligible. The top 8 finalists of all previous RPG Superstar™ contests are ineligible. Contestants must provide their real names on their paizo.com accounts. Legal identification must be produced on request.
Anytime you have concerns about a contestant's eligibility, feel free mention it to us through contest@paizo.com
This is one of my favorite items from the contest, and my favorite among the top 32. Great job Kalervo—you're on a streak! It's very cool. Can't wait to see your map.
If both of you guys have published material on Freelance forge should that not technically DQ you from an amateur contest? Does not seem right.Aside from what Owen said, Freelance Forge is a resource for games freelancers, not a publisher.
And even if it were a publisher, as long as Kalervo (or anyone else) doesn't have cover credit on a hardcover book, it wouldn't matter in terms of eligibility.
Cool item. I only got to see this item once during voting but I'm glad to see it again.
It's really nice seeing a teamwork item like this.
A fighter using this can really help his spell casters, and for the spell casters that are decent in combat and decent in magic this can be a nice way to push their magical options up a notch.
It's a bit pricey to me, but it's a nice enough effect that I could see a party keeping it around well after the 'weapon' side of it isn't so hot.
I'm glad to be back once again and hope to rise to the challenge.
Thank you for all the comments and I'll take note of the issues raised in my future designs.
On the Freelance Forge membership. It doesn't necessarily mean one has many freelancing credits, yet. Which is true in my case. Regardless of how this contest goes, I plan to be more active on that front in the future.
Now it's time to focus on my map.
I didn't see this item in voting! A shame.
I wouldn't have really picked up on the Norse/norn reference without people pointing it out, unfortunately. Maybe because I just don't think of norns as speaking 'fey', though they clearly do by their statblock; I consider Giant more a language that might evoke that sense of mythos, but this is a really minor quibble overall.
This is potentially a quite powerful item, I think. The wide range of a d20 roll is one of the swingiest aspects of the game; it's the thing that players are always trying to conquer with static bonuses, and it's the thing that makes roll-based mechanics so inherently powerful (by which I mean 'force a reroll' or 'force to take the lower roll' and the like, rather than 'take a -2 to your rolls').
With that in mind, I can see situations where canny players can work the hell out of this as a combo mechanic. The big giant with the -1 will save is in the front line, and the enemy cleric is in the back? Awesome, Fatebinder go, now the bard throws confusion, wham, bam, we just confused an enemy cleric that's two levels higher than us with a +15 will save...
Obviously this is exactly what the item is DESIGNED to do, and, with the 3/day mechanic and the accompanying price tag, I don't necessarily think it's over-powered, precisely... but I do think that after the 3 daily charges are expended, most martial PCs won't bother sticking with what is otherwise basically just a +1 weapon, at this price bracket.
This is not to say this is a bad item. I think it's a quite good item, and clever, and mechanically interesting. But I know that if I were a PC, and some NPCs used this on me and more-or-less invalidated, say, my rogue's high Reflex save as I'm forced to take the cleric's instead, ooooh that would burn. ;)
I think that making the further attacks not be QUITE so likely to hit, as others have said, would probably go a good ways to making it feel a little less potentially fun-sapping.
One question I did have is if that 30' foot line is required to go out from a corner of the javelin thrower's square? If yes: that is another limitation on the item, and a good one, and maybe mitigates the need for additional penalties, because cover would apply after the first guy you hit, wouldn't it? I am pretty sure this line mechanic is what you are going for, but on the off chance that it's not and you can make the 30'foot line happen anywhere you can see, then that part would definitely not work for me.
Thank you for the comments Dana.
The targets only share the dice result and use their own modifiers, so the enemy cleric is still harder to affect than a -1 Will save goon.
Since throwing was the method of activation, I thought it was pretty clear that the line of effect originates from the wielder. Perhaps that is something that should have been stated more clearly.
That's fair re: adding modifiers. I'm gonna blame my missing that on being rather tired. >____>
I didn't see this during voting, but it is very nice and I can see why it's gone through. I like the link to the norns, and I know my players would love what it does.
I think it could be improved though. My main criticism is that the item's function mostly exists on a metagame level - I have a general rule you must be able to imagine how your character could explain the item to their in-game companions. Just using saves is a bit out there.
I really like the concept of this weapon. Its short range and the difficulty of lining up more than two targets limits its effectiveness at cool instead of game breaking. But I agree that most people are going to have this for when they need its ability instead of it being a primary weapon. Still a really cool secondary weapon though.
Kalervo! Fate-binder was on my list at one point but I took it off. I really, really liked this javelin.
I can't say too much to you, this is your three-peat.
My nitpick with this were the idea that I could have the party barbarian volunteer to be linked to 2 or more creatures and those creatures have to use his Will saves.
Overall well done and I'm really excited to see your map!
Congrats Kalervo!
This was my favorite item out of the top-32. The more I saw this item, the more I liked it.
good luck next round!
As a PC I can use this item as is, and completely understand what it does. Any editing to clean things up for clarity or price is minor.
Creative new idea, with only a hint of cheese.
I kept waiting for something big to come with this item. The K.O punch ability. It never came, sad to say, but it is still good.
I was expecting the thread to tighten on the next round, forcing the threaded targets to pass a STR check, or be pulled into a group and help together for 1 round.
Its a little cartoony I know. You made the better choice.
Handy item from a talented writer.
Keep.
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Thank you for all the new comments.
My nitpick with this were the idea that I could have the party barbarian volunteer to be linked to 2 or more creatures and those creatures have to use his Will saves.
Everyone will still use their own modifiers, only the lowest die result will be shared among the linked creatures.
Hah good point...what if he willingly fails the save? Takes a 1?
Don't answer I don't want you to get DQed...I just know that would come up at my tables.
Congrats! I wanted to take a moment and say Fate-binder was hands down my favorite item I saw while voting. For me, it did what a superstar magic item should do and twisted just enough of the underlying mechanics to be fun and original, and in the process broke the right rules in a limited yet entertaining way. From the first time I saw it on day one of voting, I knew without even the slightest sliver of doubt hoped Fate-binder would make the top 32 :)
Congrats again and good luck!
Interesting item. I like the concept.
I do have a question.
You thread together 4 monsters in the 30 ft line. You cast a spell on monster 1 and monster 2. Do you take the lowest of two rolls or lowest of four rolls? What if anything happens to monster 3 and monster 4?
It requires some set up sure, but this could be an interesting tactic. One party member casts summon monster III to summon 1d4+1 fire beetles and chooses them to appear in a line with the bad guy. Another party member tosses the fate-binder (or uses a readied action to throw when the targets appear in a line) at all 3-6 of the targets in the line. The third party member unleashes the save or suck spell on the bad guy and the 2-5 hapless beetles. Now the bad guy takes the lowest of 3-6 rolls before adding his own modifier. Beetles are toast, but who cares?
I do have a question.
You thread together 4 monsters in the 30 ft line. You cast a spell on monster 1 and monster 2. Do you take the lowest of two rolls or lowest of four rolls? What if anything happens to monster 3 and monster 4?
Only those subjected to the spell or effect are involved (1,2), that's why I specified 'when two or more of the linked creatures are subjected' and 'these creatures'. Other linked creatures (3,4) aren't subjected to the spell or effect and therefore do not make a save.
Congratulations on making it to the Top 32!
A great, great item. Love the Norse mythology tie-in that is just generic enough that it doesn't feel too specific. It's a respectful nod instead of blatant rip-off. The ability itself is also very nice and is likely to be usable in many different situations. There's naturally the fact that you're not likely to use this too much outside the three uses per day, though the returning weapon quality certainly helps to alleviate that problem somewhat.
One of the few items where I don't have anything major to say against it. This is a very good item as it as and I am definitely looking forward to your map. The best of luck!
Wow, not many people can claim three-fers! Nice job, Kalervo! Nothing new to add about your item, other than another person to say "I really enjoyed it when I saw it in voting."
Congratulations on the top 32 and on apparently returning to it altogether frequently.
I do not like items with "fate" in the name or too intense in the concept... but this doesn't do any of the things that usually annoy me about those and with the theme the name even works, sort of. In other words, reading the name I think "oh no" and the, reading the items I find it extremely good.
I saw this a few times in voting and it was definitely among the items I greatly enjoyed.
Javelin/monster-summon-mook combination, that is; as earlier posters have observed giving something dangerous the saving throws of, say, a beetle is exceptionally advantageous to opponents.If I were a GM I'd ban this item at my table or give it one-of-a-kind-artifact-status. As a commonly available item I could see it reducing too many high-level combats to which-side-throws-a-javelin-and-mind-control/death-effect-first.
As the designer has stated, you only share the roll not your pluses. So all summoning low level monsters will do is increase the probability of a bad roll.
Congratulations, Kalervo!
I feel like I didn't appreciate this item enough during voting and I'm really baffled that I didn't get the Norns reference - there are so many clues, to the point where you included augury in the construction requirements. This one is really well-thought-out, in its own subtle way.
Good luck in the next round!
Congratulations on making the Top 32! Good job!
OK, thematically good and mechanically well made. Neat idea overall. My problem was that the imagery fell flat for me, but that is an example of personal taste.
Kalervo, I believe there were four of us who made top 32 in both 2013 and 2014 and were still eligible to compete in 2015 (you, me, Joseph Kellogg, and Sam Harris... I hope I'm not missing anyone). I'm glad to see that at least one person pulled off a third consecutive top 32. That's impressive. Also, I think that this is your best item of your three years. I really like it.
Congratulations!
Thanks again for all the new comments, pugwampies and all. :)
Mark, I'm glad to be able take another crack at this again. Hopefully I'll achieve non-eligible status as well this year.
Fate-binder
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 27,001 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This slender +1 mithral returning javelin has Sylvan script etched upon its surface and its haft ends in an eye-shaped loop. A short length of gold thread hangs coiled from the loop with one end fading out of existence.Three times per day, the fate-binder can be used to momentarily bind together the fates of those it pierces. As it is thrown, the javelin becomes ethereal and draws an intangible, golden thread out of thin air. The wielder makes a single ranged touch attack and compares the result against every creature in a 30-foot line. The magical thread links together creatures hit with the attack until the end of the wielder’s next turn, after which the thread vanishes. This attack leaves the creatures otherwise unharmed. When two or more of the linked creatures are subjected to a spell or effect that involves a saving throw—these creatures must use the lowest die result among them for that saving throw before adding modifiers. The fate-binder retakes its physical form when it returns to its wielder.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, augury, telekinesis; Cost 14,001 gp
Is the Item Decorative?
Well, it's mithral with gold thread, so it should look reasonably presentable on display anywhere.
Decorative score? 3 out of 7. (Would be 4, but 'sylvan' simply isn't an 'in' thing, this season.)
Does the Item have Any Obvious non-Decorative Use Around the Home?
No. This item has absolutely no obvious non-decorative use around the home. Its sole obvious purpose is to sit there in glass-fronted cabinet or on a display bracket on the wall, to serve as a curio or talking point for polite casual conversation.
non-Decorative Domestic Use score? 0 out of 7.
Does the Item seem Likely to be Helpful in the Fantasy Setting of an Imaginary World where 'Operation Sealion' is taking Place?
So the (for simplicity's sake) Nasties are lining up with all their little boats to launch an invasion-attempt across a strait upon a nation of perfectly (socially) harmless tea-drinkers. And then there's this item.
So what impact is this item likely to have on proceedings?
Well it might be useful, if the fighting ever arrived on any beaches, but with the enormous naval and aerial battles to be got through first (which this item just isn't likely to have the range of effect to play much part in), the chances of any beach action taking place which might see it deployed are minimal.
'Sealion' score? 1 out of 7. (Just in case.)
Total: 4 out of 21.
It's perfectly possible for an amateur to have a few credits. The rules of the contest are pretty clear on this point.
The contest is open to the general public, with the following exceptions: Employees of Paizo, their immediate family members, and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are ineligible. Anyone who has been employed full-time as a designer for a game company is ineligible. Anyone with a cover credit on a hardcover RPG book is ineligible. Anyone who has a design credit in 3 or more of Paizo's Pathfinder products is ineligible. The top 8 finalists of all previous RPG Superstar™ contests are ineligible. Contestants must provide their real names on their paizo.com accounts. Legal identification must be produced on request.Anytime you have concerns about a contestant's eligibility, feel free mention it to us through contest@paizo.com
Ok thanks for the clarification and my apologies if I came off as bitter for my misunderstanding of the rules. I will try to have more tact in the future with my post.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Congrats on making the top 32, again!
I never saw this, or I would have voted for it often. While I like the core effect, my favorite bit is the eye of the needle at the base of the javelin's haft, great detail.
I don't think I can find anything that would need tweaking with this item, and it's even something that is still useful without it's main power - any character based around thrown weapons will easily be happy with a +1 returning weapon - they might not use it for their primary attack, but as a iterative it's a great choice still.
Absolutely awesome theme and flavor, creative and mechanically interesting and supremely innovative. Finally found an item in this contest I thought was interesting - I don't think I saw this once in over a thousand votes..
I love fate items, and have no problem with any "metagame" implications of this item.
Well done Kalervo.
Why am I critiquing every item? Well, frankly, I love this sort of thing. I sincerely enjoy editing and the art of the critique. I have long considered starting a blog to that end, and maybe this will be the kickstart I need. Speaking of which, if you want to hire an editor, I'd be happy to help ;)
Regardless, the point of my criticism is always to help. Nothing is perfect, so everything can potentially be made better. My comments will often be less than flattering, but they will never come from a place of malice. The point here is to make your item better, not to make you feel bad.
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? My primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience. What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item with blind and pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it.
Finally, know that I did not read any critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to the critique!
As always, congratulations on making the top 32. No matter what I thought of your item, you won, and you should feel awesome!
So, I really didn't like this item, and it's for two, seemingly contradictory reasons, which means, I guess it's too "swingy."
On the one hand, it just doesn't really do much. At its core, it's a +1 Javelin for 27k. You can't even full attack with Returning. This absolutely cannot be your primary weapon, but then, at 27k, it's too expensive to be a backup weapon for quite a long time. You need to be pretty high level before you can drop 27k on an item you are only going to use "sometimes."
Further, this is barely a weapon. I mean, ok, it is literally a weapon, and you throw it to generate its effect, but it does nothing to help armed combat. It basically only helps spellcasters land nasty spells. That means it basically supports the martial as caddy for the spellcasters, since they get the lowly job of wasting their turn doing nothing but moving to position for maximum effect and enabling the casters to end the fight (another problem: it's really hard to affect more than two enemies with a line).
Plus, 3/day is just not enough for me. I hate daily items, and especially items that do literally nothing else unless they're using their daily powers.
On the other side of things, though, this item is balls-out-crazy-good if set up properly. Too good. And when it works, it will basically end encounters. Imagine the perfect set up:
1) You have multiple spell casters waiting so they can unleash their full wrath (preferably with a swift cast, and some kind of move action save effect, too).
2) Preferably all of them spent their previous turn summoning as many low level pieces of trash as they can in a line around the real target.
3) Make the throw, binding the fate of as many targets as possible, including, of course, the enemy you really care about.
4) Your team unleashes a torrent of horror, starting, of course, with non-damaging control spells, so that the summoned junk used to screw the real target don't die before the end.
5) Win.
It's actually still amazingly good if you can just set up the regular enemies in a line (i.e. even without exploiting it with summons). It's nuts.
If my party found this item, we might keep it if we were set up for crushing multi-caster crowd control, but we'd probably just sell it, since it feels unfair. Lots of parties would want this item, but they'd be the sort built around it. I doubt many would be set up to take advantage of it already.
Overall, I think its both too weak for the actual user, and too strong for the party as a whole.
Edit: I know everyone uses their own save mods, but having summoned junk around boosts the chance for a bad die roll, which is the point.