Duke Arvanoff

Phelps Tosscobble's page

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I call this an easy B- that could be an A+ if it went into a think-tank group.

Mikko is totally right about the balance between gore and subtle to set the tone and mood. This has potential to be one of the actual scariest creatures out there.

I like that it has purpose and desire to drive it, that's what makes it scary, but it could have been said more earnestly then "wants to see everything"

I would like to have seen some mind effects that took the P.C's through the conditions of shaken, confused, and cowering, before being engulfed and having their eyes ripped out..... Possibly by using mindreading and telepathy to create an effect similar to what a gibbering mouther can do with sound, only talking within the P.C's head insted.

This has a darker feel to me then the normal Pathfinder/D&D stuff.

This will get my vote based on potential, not on execution.


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The road to power is paved in blood, and rulers such as Lady Delbra AxeBringer is not afraid to carve out her path.

As lords and Ladies battle for position, the Town of Griffon Falls finds itself caught between the hammer and the anvil, literally.

A shred of hope remains, and enemies and allies alike will have to keep "one eye" on their backs at all times if they hope to find their way through alive.

But when secretes lay buried a top icy peaks, will you be able to learn them before the hounds of war break free?

Using:
Firebrand, Griffon Falls, Cyclops stronghold, and the earthcracker...for fun.


Mark Seifter wrote:


*Formatting and wording issues.

*Price/Cost don't match.

*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.

*Turns into second person at the end.

*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.

Agreed. I hope to fix those things while keeping the item flavour.

Except for the 181+ HP to destroy, as that would be easy to accomplish in the 20min you can remain as a stone. I think that was the right choice.

Thank you for those Mark.


Mark Seifter wrote:


*Formatting and wording issues.

*Price/Cost don't match.

*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.

*Turns into second person at the end.

*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.

Completely valid. I will be fixing that.

Except for the 181+ hit points, which would be easy to do in the 20min you can stay as a stone.

Thank you.


I am aware that I have to learn how to properly price an item, and the 3d6 on hardness mechanics is jumbled. so no need to mention that.
There is so much I wanted to do with this item, but thought of later. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Catapulting Full Plate
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 15th
Slot Armor; Price 144,650; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This +2 Full plate has the appearance of hewn stone plates, and the ability to turn its wearer into a siege weapon. Once per day while wearing the armor, the wearer can take a running jump, transform into medium size stone (4ft diameter), and hurl themselves as if thrown by a heavy catapult (Pg 435 Core Rulebook). The stone has a hardness of 8, 360hp, and does 6d6 damage. Once hurled, the stone has a range of 200ft, and can travel in a single straight line direction, as well as an arching lob. The wearer must make a ranged touch attack to hit the intended target. To do this, the wearer must have at least a 10ft running start. On impacting an object with a hardness of 8 or greater, the stone takes 3d6 normal damage. The stone transforms back into armor on command or after 20 minutes.
If the stone is reduced to 180hp the armor is destroyed and wearer is expelled, taking 5d6 damage. The stones complete destruction expels you and slays you instantly.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor feats, Polymorph, Forceful Hand, Telekinesis; Cost 72,325 gp


Russ, Russ, I told you in round 1 "Nobody puts baby in the corner"!

Your execution needs to catch up with your imagination. Like ice fang, you have a cool idea, but don't know how to pull it off to make it as awesome as it SHOULD be.

You need to find someone who knows how to make things awesome and knows what needs to be done, but cant come up with any good ideas on their own ;)
As part of a team, you would be great. On your own, I don't see you finishing off the work/adventure, into its final form. Yet?

I like the gardens though. A lot. Great place to host a big bad show down.
Weak keep.


Reading through the rules, it doesn't seem that you cannot use the item, the wording just sounds like you are giving paizo permission to use it, and cannot sue them or claim any money they make off it.

If paizo took sole property rights to thousands of contest entries, and didn't let you do anything else with your item, that wouldn't sit well with me...Especially when looking at the origins of Pathfinder/P3.

Open licence benefits all.


Ahhh, thank you Grumpus. That was bugging me for a while.


As a PC I can use this item as is, and completely understand what it does. Any editing to clean things up for clarity or price is minor.

Creative new idea, with only a hint of cheese.

I kept waiting for something big to come with this item. The K.O punch ability. It never came, sad to say, but it is still good.

I was expecting the thread to tighten on the next round, forcing the threaded targets to pass a STR check, or be pulled into a group and help together for 1 round.

Its a little cartoony I know. You made the better choice.

Handy item from a talented writer.
Keep.


Jacob Kellogg wrote:

Re: Catapult Ring—I like the general idea, but I don't understand why it's a ring. What it's doing isn't ring-ish. If it were instead a weapon, preferably a bludgeoning weapon, that could do its thing when you critted an opponent or gave an ally a bop on the bum, it would hang together better, IMO.

Re: Living Copperthread Net—Liked it, voted for it, unfortunately don't have specific feedback for you. :/

Its a ring. Perhaps a staff. We have all seen the holy grail.

"what is your favourite colour?" WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

This item was tight in all respects. Top 32 in my mind without a doubt.
You were robbed.


Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:


This item moved on because the description was evocative, and both Liz and I immediately liked the idea of illustrating it...
Firearms and water are not normally friends, so someone is going to make an aquatic firearm.

That's exactly my point Owen. Guns dont like water, so someone is obviously going to do this eventually. There is nothing inventive going on there, so it better have some creative writing and a snappy twist to make it a winner.

Which this does not. It has little flair, and the mechanics design brings up more questions then it solves.

The writing and mechanics looks to need more of a rewrite then an edit.

And can someone please tell me why summon monster is in the requirements, and dry load or air bubble is not!

This is a blunderbust of a decision. I am not pickin up what your puttin down here Owen, other then you and Liz really wanted to draw some guns underwater.

ON A CONSTRUCTIVE NOTE:

This writer shows they do know a missing niche when they see it , and the presentation looked ok, so in round 2, the map should go fine for them.

That seems to be your strength here Anthony. Just go with what you feel is the missing next step, but you have to make sure their is no holes in your writing, every line is tight, and provides clarity to the obvious...not creating more questions.


Mark Seifter wrote:
Wording issues make it a little difficult to figure out what's happening. The ability to add 2d6 damage for 1 round is a cool twist on Channel Smite, and one that I like significantly better than the actual feat itself. The short duration automatic ghostbane dirge effect seems fitting, and matches well with the mace's ghost touch power, though I'd have liked to have seen ghostbane dirge in the construction requirements. One of the biggest problems with ghostbane dirge is that it targets Will, which is an undead's good save, so in many games of seeing casters use it, I've almost never seen the spell work. This has such a short duration, that it's a nice compromise; if the mace's wielder doesn't have excellent teamwork with her allies, the undead is just going to retreat into the wall until it's feeling less vulnerable (but even then, it could give enough time for the party to regroup, apply oils or ghost salt, or even cast a crucial lesser restoration). In the end, this is a Weak Keep from me.

I never saw this item as more then just a clericy mace. Thank you Mark for explaining exactly why this item is better then I thought, and why it deserves top 32.

Whether or not the writer meant it to be, its clever. Tightening up that writing. Make me like you more.

Weak keep.


Scott LaBarge wrote:
Thanks for all the votes, Mikael! (I only got to vote for my own item once.) Honestly, I had originally intended this as a Wondrous Item with just the ability to cut a hole in a wall of force,

I freakin knew it. I figured this was one of the items people were saying was a reskinned wondrous item.

This is a great item with some sloppy writing, but I still feel should have been DQ as not being a magic weapon.

Some things are just too good to be held back, even by contest rules.

DQ

I am expecting a clever round two from this lucky bastard ;)


Mark Seifter wrote:
Some wording and formatting issues. On the one hand, most of what this armor gives are just a bunch of numbers. On the other hand, together the numbers work together to paint a picture and tell a story, and it's a story that the author worked to connect with the armor's enhancements and special material... and a tip of my hat for a gutsy move in fielding a Superstar item with no activated powers.

I think that the "story" could have been worked in a little clearer, painting a better picture with actual description, before diving into the numbers and stats.

I feel like a had to work a little to put the pieces of this item and story together, rather then having this beauty item unfold before my eyes.

And as for the no activated powers, I did not even realize that was one of the reasons I was liking this item so much. Simple,and awesome. More is not better is defiantly the case here.

I also had thoughts this was just a magic version of something that exists in player class form. But it has more going for it, and its something I would buy. Its something I could even build a story around.

Keep.


Well Ben, it appears you and David were in the same place when the winning lightening bolt struck.

I do believe yours is the better item, but Daves is better written.
Step up your game in round two. Show some flair.

Weak Keep


I will buy this in every campaign I play in, forever. There is no reason to not have this in your bag.

You looked at what a P.C would want/need, and created a well structured and presented item.
The item is so good and so cleanly put together (safe as liz put it), that I cannot tell whether you have any actual talent ;)
Im gambling you have a sick round 2.

Winning Keep, but lose the little children. For real.


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Liz Courts wrote:

Flavor

Someone's bringing the boom.

I liked this item a lot UNTIL Liz wrote those 4 words. Now the image of Kevin James almost ruins it entirely.

This item has a lot going for it. Great flavor and enough usability that it will allow players to get creative with it. Like the Crit hit inclusion.

I may make use it if I can stop associating it with Paul Blart Mall Cop.

Keep.


CripDyke wrote:


I like the ring, but wouldn't likely play a character that employs it. Is that strange of me?

I had those exact feelings about this item.

"This item lets you be a snake"
I am just not feeling this item.

Well written, and I would like to see what else this writer has up their sleeves. Hopefully nothing with scales.

Alternate.


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IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A WIGHT WEDDING!

I like it. Needs work. Intro does not grab me. But the potential of a cool story does.

Less chat, more splat.