Well I'm a sorcerer I only counted spell I personally can cast in that list because at the end of the day when you're giving birth the child of an evil dragon goddess who can you really trust to aid you in such an endeavor?
But I am going to the grand temple of Tiamat I'm sure she told someone there how to handle this.
Thank you for this thread.
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Surgery still exists in these games, they just aren't common procedures for PC's. Still, you could easily have it removed. I mean, it'll be the size of a small water melon before it hatches. It should be pretty easy to spot if someone cuts you open.
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Excellent thread.
I do hope to hear how this turns out (I'm too new to offer any real advice).
Be a good parent, feed it many times a day, don't let it leave your sight, make sure it goes to bed at a decent time, make sure it has friends (the last thing you want is the demigod baby feeling like it's "it against the world"), and give it a good education.
Demand more details from your GM. It's not exactly clear how a female reptile impregnates a male mammal.
Will you lay an egg?
Hm.... this gives me so many ideas for my home campaign...
Attilles wrote: Well I'm a sorcerer I only counted spell I personally can cast in that list because at the end of the day when you're giving birth the child of an evil dragon goddess who can you really trust to aid you in such an endeavor?
But I am going to the grand temple of Tiamat I'm sure she told someone there how to handle this.
Contractually-obliged and Mark of Justice'd Kobold cleric of Tiamat. Take out some contracts with lawful outsiders to "enforce the deal" if you're absolutely convinced that even your status as "divine vessel" isn't enough. Hire a barrister to look over the contracts, hire another barrister to check his work, pay them well but also dominate their minds. Create a network of hits and curses that go off if you die so that it's in every single evil dude's best interest to make sure you and the baby are both happy and healthy.
If you have a decent UMD, you can just fire off a scroll, except you'll probably be in no condition to do so.
Creatures WITH use magic device are hard to find, but I think the Shining Child can be brought in with an appropriate planar ally spell (which you maybe cast using a scroll) or just find an expert/rogue/whatever and mentally dominate them. In fact, Evil Mind Control is often the answer to life's little trust issues.
Anything not answering to a higher power should be scared of ticking off Tiamat, anything answering to a higher power is going to either be working for Tiamat (might betray you and steal the kiddo) or working against her (tends to be noticeable if you just make sure which holy symbol they cast with).
For allies to help with other casting I have a blood brother (RL Bestie from the service) Ninja/Assassin with UMD +9, my cohort is a wizard but I am loathe to bring him with me, someone needs to stay in the camp and tend my men while I go gallivanting about the goblin capital like a fancy man.
There's a cleric of a Glitch (fate goddess) and a rather powerful and entertaining Magus in the party too, but I don't know how far I can trust them with this one.
There's also a ranger in the party I absolutely can not let in on this one, but he's distracted by a giant (colossal) scorpion (named Francis Clamponetti) he's trying to convince to be his pet.
Thoughts?
The Rot Grub wrote: Demand more details from your GM. It's not exactly clear how a female reptile impregnates a male mammal.
Will you lay an egg?
The explanation as to how a male mammal was impregnated by a female reptile is that Tiamat's a deity. She makes things happen that are beyond mortal comprehension.
Okay, I got an idea. You say you can only trust yourself...well, your familiar is part of yourself, sorta!
You said you are arcane/draconic crossblooded. This means you have a familiar.
You'll need two scrolls of dimension door, one of enlarge person, and one of alter self. Not too expensive.
Use alter self to make your familiar a small humanoid. Hit him with your reduce person spell then to make him tiny. Use the enlarge person scroll on yourself to make you large.
Give your familiar two scrolls of dimension door. Dimension door in you, grab the baby, dimension door out of you with the baby.
Problem solved, no messy explosion out of your urethra.
Familiars can also UMD a regeneration or raise dead spell if you have the skill. I'm assuming you don't.
Buddy with +9 absolutely can make a raise dead scroll work, but it may take a few tries, (possibly) a few days, all the scrolls necessary to make those attempts, and the ability to handle the damage/exciting DM inventions that happen all the times when he fails. Regenerate is around the same difficulty (DC 20 plus spell level).
With the appropriate level (11, so probably) your wizard can cast Planar Binding. There are a couple of options from most to least insane and "stretching the rules."
-level 12 (any race) cleric of Tiamat. No risk to baby, only mild risk to you (potential kidnapping is your biggest concern), will be able to cast whatever healing you want. Is arguable as to whether or not it's even rules-legal.
-Use a high level scroll of Greater Planar Binding and summon a Shining Child, which has a +26 UMD (auto-success). Also high risk because they're crazy as heck and hella dangerous.
-Summon a Marid, use a wish. Problematic since it's a WISH and GMs don't like letting those things off the chain.
-Glabrezu. middling risk since it's chaotic evil, but it has a +17 on Use magic device.
-Nabasu. Actually has regenerate as a spell-like ability. Otherwise pretty useless and still a crazy-evil demon.
-Ogre Mage. +14 UMD, lawful evil (less likely to break a deal) but not ENTIRELY likely to get its blood-war on with your chaotic evil tiefling or your chaotic evil demon dragon baby. +14 is getting kinda low though.
Any way you play the outside(r) contractor ploy (if you do at all) you want a lawyer to help you with your phrasing and dealings. Not to mention make a few knowledge checks to find out how far the GM takes a bound outsider's ability to cheat magical contracts. AND you have to pay 'em, in full, and they'll be selling your name and what you did without leaving you a lot of recourse. This especially becomes an issue if you spring for a Planetar (within Greater Planar Binding's limit) and somehow con/cajole/extort it into helping you. The host of heaven will be on your tail, which is generally a bad idea for an evil PC. Hilarious idea for a GM though...
Also casting off a higher-level scroll as a lower-level wizard has risks. There's a mishap table and a caster level check. Probably easier to find Kobold Cleric of Tiamat with Legend Lore, Scrying, or something and teleport/hire/return than all of that. I mean, you've got some plans and they are certainly good* plans, but with no trusted divine caster your healing/resurrecting options are limited. And if your wizard can summon it beforehand, he doesn't need to be present for your "little miracle of maternal joy" to help out.
*good as it is going to get, at any rate.
edit: I'm expecting you to get your soul devoured, but I'm a pessimist.
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Game is today! Any last RSVP's for Tiamat's baby shower? You can play pin the heads on the Queen of Tyranny!
I am glad everyone has been entertained by the plot twist in our campaign. Please wish our heroes and expectant father good luck!
Rabbiteconomist wrote: Game is today! Any last RSVP's for Tiamat's baby shower? You can play pin the heads on the Queen of Tyranny!
I am glad everyone has been entertained by the plot twist in our campaign. Please wish our heroes and expectant father good luck!
Are they still the father if they're the one giving birth? :/
Sign me up. I'll be bringing gifts of course.... Oh, I can't wait I'll just say it now.
Souls of a thousand innocents. Charon may be a little miffed with me for dropping some of his share on a demi-god dragon baby, but dang it! That little spawn of evil is going to be hungry!
I'll bring cookies to commemorate the occasion, I hope you like bonemeal-raisin, I baked them myself.
This is so mad it's awesome.
I am waiting for Attiles to post the full results. The sneak preview: he successfully gave birth and did not die, although he almost did.
I am just too excited to hear how this ends up...
Hold on, wait, where...where have I seen this before...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/
...oh yeah.
Well, look, at least in your situation there's a POTENTIAL it won't all go horrifically, horribly wrong.
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While we wait for Attiles, check this out: photo from the battle that nearly disrupted the birth - the attempted Z-section birth.
http://i.imgur.com/kCN3zoo.jpg
What gave you the idea to make this a thing, anyway?
I mean, it seems your table didn't have a problem with it, so whatever, but I'm curious what made you think this is a good idea.
icehawk333 wrote: What gave you the idea to make this a thing, anyway?
I mean, it seems your table didn't have a problem with it, so whatever, but I'm curious what made you think this is a good idea.
I'd be happy to answer, but could you make your question more specific (such as "Why have a deity have a mortal carry a divine creature?")?
Yeah, that one works.
Along with how it's presented, seemingly on a whim of the creature and an aside comment by the charecter.
Of course, I don't neccceirly have the full story. Far from it.
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Its probably because he needed a new campaign boss, one of the party members (now deceased shouldn't have stepped up like that poor guy) turned the previous campaign boss into a brothel with the rod of wonder.
Also there's a war breaking out between Bahamut and Tiamat so Tiamat needed an aspect on the planet and I had an item that might let a medium creature give birth to a huge dragon, so that's probably why.
Also I'm typing up the post still (I've been busy since the game ended) and I'm taking my time so I do this right, I took copious notes and will have the post up sometime tonight.
lol pepsi and the new dragon baby is named pepsi! that would be best bbeg ever
FEAR ME MORTALS FOR I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL pepsi lol
Conceptually as a DM, it was very much an idea picked up on whim. It seemed like a funny idea at the time, and then I took it seriously since I gauged the players would like the idea. In terms of in-game perspective, the PC sorcerer had been seeking advice and assistance in obtaining an Orb of Dragonkind. After a Commune spell advised Attiles bring the Orb to her [Tiamat], he obtained the Orb after the party had battled several dragons at the center of a city devastated by magical disaster. He returned to the previous city after celebrating in the Elven Capital (reached through a Gate created from a BBEG Green Dragon with a Rod of Wonder and the Net Libram of Wild Magic Effects) and bought ALL of the Philly Cheese Steak the city could produce for his Cheesesteak festival. The next day he assumed his nausea was due to eating too much. When it wouldn't go away they started being confused then alarmed until they discovered the truth.
The Aspect of Bahamut is also being born elsewhere. There's going to be a showdown at some point once our players' respective schedules are lined up again.
A Virgin mother just like in that other story.
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Ok I have the post all typed up and mostly ready to go I sent it to the GM and other players to make sure I was accurate and complete in the report I want to make sure you guys don't miss out on any of this story.
Once I have their notes/suggestions incorporated I will post the story here in all its glory.
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20 Gruumidor
It all started in the war room of my camp (awesome little wall of stone built fortress), Skrak one of my goblin followers was describing the city of Goma and the Great Temple of Gonda there.
Zebulon came into the war to tell me he had developed a new medical technique that would enable me to survive the birth of Tiamat (yay!!) he called it a Z-Section. The Z-section involves someone shrinking down to a small enough size and then using the shadow walk ability to enter the birthing cavity through the shadow plane. Once inside Zebulon would sever the umbilical cord and carry the Tiny Tiamat out of the birthing cavity through the shadow plane. Tiamat is born and I get to live sounds great right. Well just wait because it’s not, but we decided this was the best course of action to follow.
I led the party (Attilles, Diriaz (Assassin/brother), Cerda (cleric of Glitch based on Zelda), Ryn (Ranger with the dragonslayer archetype based on Link of Ocarina of Time fame), Zebulon (an Arcanist street performer (David Copperfield type magic shows)) and Edric Grimtower (my cohort) up to Goma and to the temple of Tiamat (greater teleport for the win). Outside the temple Zebulon, Cerda and Ryn (Cerda’s cohort based off the Hero of Time) had to disguise themselves since they weren’t followers of Tiamat, Cerda and Ryn ducked off into an alley and put together a couple of really, really bad disguises so I sent them back to “Try again, and don’t embarrass yourselves this time.” They did much better on the second disguise attempt and we went into the temple.
As we walked into the temple I spread my wings and took to the air (the ceiling was a couple feet high) and started spitting fire to let everyone know what was going on. The temple broke out in cheers and cries of “The chosen one has arrived” (easily the warmest welcome I’ve ever received in a church or temple). After several minutes of flying and fire breathing I landed and met the high preists of the Tiamatian Trinity we discussed the Z-section and began making preparations for the birth. Cerda wandered off at this point to further “help” prepare for the birthing process.
Cerda entered the birthing chamber, bluffed her way into being accepted as a higher priest brought in to assist and proceeded to make the single worst mistake of her life. She placed a symbol of sleep at the top of the stairs leading into the birthing pool. The birthing pool provided fast regeneration to Tiamat's followers, was about 20 feet in diameter and was supported by statues of different metallic dragons.
21 Gruumidor
Oh day of days today is the day we are going to do the Z-section! It’s going to be amazing. I’m going to survive and Tiamat’s going to be here, whoo. No. As soon as I step over the invisible symbol of sleep it activates and most of the goblins in the room were put to sleep, the high priests were furious and began divining the answers.
Zebulon undeterred began working on the Z-section and shadow walked into my birthing cavity.
Pontifex Magnus Tigard declared the divinations revealed “A metallic has appeared in the rainbow”. Zebulon by this point was already inside the birthing cavity and quickly severed the umbilical cord. I was getting ready to greet my Dark Queen when it happened…
Zebulon cast Phantasmal Killer, Tiamat got PISSED!
I started trying to teleport immediately but initiative being what it is, I didn’t get to teleport out of the way until after Zebulon got his s++~ ruined by tiny Tiamat. Utterly ruined. All that’s left of that chump is his hand and when I find a way to forcibly resurrect him he will suffer a proper fate for interfering with my Queen’s plan, but that’s a story for another post.
As soon as I tele’d Cerda decided to try destroying Tiamat, but that failed too (Tiamat barely made the save. Cerda needed 120 damage to take Tiny Tiamat down, but TT only took 36 damage so she didn’t really care).
Cerda was absolutely f+!$ing ruined by Pontifex Magnus Tigard immediately following her ill-conceived plan to attempt to stop me from bringing forth this bundle of badass.
Seconds later Diriaz killed Cerda’s cohort (who was based off the hero of time, Link). Diriaz killed Ryn with the sword of Ashardalon so the hero of time aint coming back unless Ashardalon gets bored with soul of a chump who dared raise his hands against our Dark Queen.
The battle was over and the birth was completed…
Or so I thought, Tiamat had other plans though and jumped right back into my birthing cavity and reattached her umbilical cord with an ominous warning for me: “I’m hungry”. At this point I decided to stop having ideas around her and just let Tiamat do whatever Tiamat wanted to do. She decided I would not leave that birthing pool until after she did.
22 Gruumidor
Tiamat had been tiny up to this point, but she grew to small this day. Oh glorious day.
23-24 Gruumidor
More growth, more waiting in the pool. She grew to medium size and I had to stay in Form of The Dragon II. Normally I only have enough castings of the spell to maintain dragon form for ~70 minutes per day but three high priests of dragon gods have some sway in making dragon magic last longer…
25 - 28 Gruumidor
Continuous growth, Tiamat grew to large and then huge size while I stayed in the pool in dragon form (eventually switched to Form of the Dragon III and it ended up with permanency—high priest of Tiamat, Ashardalon and Ephemelon are really really good at dragon magic man). I began feeling that I would not survive the ordeal and begged Tiamat to let me go hunting just once as a “true” dragon. She declined my request and so I sat whining in the birthing pool for a few more days.
29 Gruumidor
Diriaz was growing restless and decided to go visit our homeland, I let him borrow my dragon ball (Orb of Void Dragonkind) so he wouldn’t get himself rofl-stomped. This was a poor choice, its bonus to my fort save was all that was keeping me from being really really sad. Diriaz was still holding the dragon ball when Tiamat thrashed about it hurt really bad (I could use the orb’s save once because of kin guardian trait), but I had to make 2 saves in a row, after the second save failed I began crying and screaming hysterically for the dragonball. Diriaz gave it back and I spent the rest of the day clutching it to my chest crying and wishing I had never asked for this. Me and my f*+!ing mouth…
Tiamat at this point was freaking huge (so I guess I’m a closer-to-gargantuan-than-large huge dragon).
30 Gruumidor
Finally oh day of days for real this time. The thrashing and raging about inside the birthing cavity was absolutely unbearable the last day (I had taken 6 negative levels of energy drain from Tiamat sucking away my life). I barely made one of the Fort saves (36 on a DC 35 what up) and managed to survive because I’m immune to fire damage (red dragon) and cold damage (void dragon orb) with 12 hp left. Yeah 12.
Tiamat burst forth, I’m not sure what she did as I collapsed into the pool until I was fully recovered (several hours later).
When I recovered from the physical wounds of the ordeal I left the pool, took to wing and went hunting.
As a huge red dragon. Yay.
Sounds great. Thanks for the Update. I am curious how this Will work in the campaign in the furure, so come back and tell us when it Does.
My congratulations to the new father.
Sounds awesome. Were you buffed with resist energy and protection from energy to cover all the energy damage types? Nothing quite like an angry multichromatic dragon fetus.
*sniff* They grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday you could hold her in your arms. Bless her soul.
Out of curiosity I'm wondering how things worked from a mechanical perspective. Did you have to survive some physical damage and no save elemental damages?
There was physical damage, randomized elemental damage (I house ruled that area of effect attacks/spells with reflex saves like breath weapons occurring inside the body are Fort save for half instead), and as the Aspect fetus grew, failed saves versus physical damage resulted in level drain effects that could not be removed while the fetus was inside. Also sickened for most of the experience, but Orbs of Dragonkind have their own saving throws that you can use to supersede your own, so it affected little.
Well Rabbiteconomist, you run a cool game. I've actually been working on a Lamashtu-worshiping character who'se whole Shtick would be mothering monsters (in part thanks to this abominable item : demon mother's mask ). This is an interesting test of such things.
Congratulations! Please watch out for symptoms of postpartum depression.
JJ Jordan wrote: Congratulations! Please watch out for symptoms of postpartum depression. Oh, if the clerics decide to un-permanency his transformation into a dragon, it's gonna hit him SOOO hard!
Fun times. Welp, I gotta get on over to Bahamut's and help with the army raising.
kudos for an entertaining yarn
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Guys, this is the sort of thread we don't want non-role players to see.
williamoak: I recall reading about that character. Disturbing. I think you may have fell short of this thread, though.
Rabbiteconomist: IMO if it happens INSIDE your body I think you should get no save. I believe this is actually an established rule for some things though I can't seem to remember what.
Lune wrote: williamoak: I recall reading about that character. Disturbing. I think you may have fell short of this thread, though.
Yeah, that's way beyond anything I would propose in the void. With the right GM though...
Lune wrote: williamoak: I recall reading about that character. Disturbing. I think you may have fell short of this thread, though.
Rabbiteconomist: IMO if it happens INSIDE your body I think you should get no save. I believe this is actually an established rule for some things though I can't seem to remember what.
I'd love to know if there is an official ruling. I opted for it because I wanted to avoid a no save here in what was an unprecedented rules situation for me.
Rabbiteconomist wrote:
I'd love to know if there is an official ruling. I opted for it because I wanted to avoid a no save in what was an unprecedented situation.
Good GM instincts, I think. It's always more fun to try and make a save. It sounds like you made the DC (35) very high anyway.
My googlefu is terrible at work from my phone. If memory serves it has to do with drinking something. Acid maybe? Something Alchemy related perhaps? If I remember when I get home I'll try to find the rule.
JJ:
It was a very high save DC but the Orb of Void Dragonkind put me at +21/+16/+21 for my saves. Artifact for the win! (Also gives AC38 what?)
Lune:
Shut your damned mouth! <3 I had a hard enough time surviving with the save opportunities.
Williamoak:
It would take a very powerful cleric to un-permanency my Dragon Form and I got the hell away from anyone I knew to be that strong as soon as I could.
I'm currently in the middle of nowhere enjoying being a dragon and avoiding clerics and other spell casters like the damned plague.
Heh. You think he is going to retroactively make you have failed saves? >;) I think if anything I might be helping you solidify your place as the only one who ever could successfully birth Tiamet and live.
Might I suggest a ring of counter spells with dispel magic cast in it?
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