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I joined a D&D 5.0 Encounters group at my local gaming store, because I was curious about the system. I didn't know anyone at the table, I've been very fortunate in my experiences with gamers so I wasn't too nervous.
The young man sitting next to me started up a friendly conversation as we were developing our characters and he asked if I wanted to hear the backstory of his human bard. I wish I would have thought to pull out my iPod to record the following:
"A meteorite smashes into the Underdark, and within the debris the Drow investigators find a baby- my character. The dark elves would have normally killed such an aberration on sight, but instead they decided to sacrifice him to the local dragon, in an attempt to appease his anger. They left him at the entrance to the red wyrm's lair, but instead of eating the baby, the dragon took him to a nest, filled with the monster's clutch.
The dragon left to do whatever it is dragons do, and my character could tell that he was in a bad spot, So he grabbed a rock and smashed all the dragon eggs around him. The father dragon returned to find his brood massacred, and snatched the baby up in one bite. But my character had grabbed a large shell from one of the smashed eggs, and used it to lodge himself in the dragon's gullet. Instinctively, the dragon tried breathing fire to clear the obstruction but you obviously know what happened next?"
Me, blinking in stunned amazement: "No... I honestly have no idea."
"Well, red dragon egg shells are, of course, naturally fire-resistant, so the flame slammed up against the stuck shell, and the dragon exploded into a million pieces! The baby was thrown clear of the blast, and landed safely in the comfort of the nest. A group of human explorers found him a few days later, sleeping after another fine meal of barbequed dragon. He thought they were going to be angry at him, but they declared him a hero for killing the dragon, and returned him to the surface to be raised by a local noble family.
I'm taking 'Folk Hero' as my background."
Me: "Wow."
I just... I dunno. I was simultaneously horrified and in love. I almost felt like a bit of a hack for just having the same old "Monk ignores wishes of master (who is also her father) to run off into the wide world to find her mother" back-story.
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That is .. wow. I'm not sure I have the descriptive power to deal with that backstory.
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Eh, wow. That is one epic baby. It also breaks the laws of physics I guess, but it's fantasy so who cares, right?
This is actually Sequel to Kung Pow... This is Wha CHOW! Fists of Dragons!!!!
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I joined a D&D 5.0 Encounters group at my local gaming store, because I was curious about the system. I didn't know anyone at the table, I've been very fortunate in my experiences with gamers so I wasn't too nervous.
The young man sitting next to me started up a friendly conversation as we were developing our characters and he asked if I wanted to hear the backstory of his human bard. I wish I would have thought to pull out my iPod to record the following:
"A meteorite smashes into the Underdark, and within the debris the Drow investigators find a baby- my character. The dark elves would have normally killed such an aberration on sight, but instead they decided to sacrifice him to the local dragon, in an attempt to appease his anger. They left him at the entrance to the red wyrm's lair, but instead of eating the baby, the dragon took him to a nest, filled with the monster's clutch.
The dragon left to do whatever it is dragons do, and my character could tell that he was in a bad spot, So he grabbed a rock and smashed all the dragon eggs around him. The father dragon returned to find his brood massacred, and snatched the baby up in one bite. But my character had grabbed a large shell from one of the smashed eggs, and used it to lodge himself in the dragon's gullet. Instinctively, the dragon tried breathing fire to clear the obstruction but you obviously know what happened next?"
Me, blinking in stunned amazement: "No... I honestly have no idea."
"Well, red dragon egg shells are, of course, naturally fire-resistant, so the flame slammed up against the stuck shell, and the dragon exploded into a million pieces! The baby was thrown clear of the blast, and landed safely in the comfort of the nest. A group of human explorers found him a few days later, sleeping after another fine meal of barbequed dragon. He thought they were going to be angry at him, but they declared him a hero for killing the dragon, and returned him to the surface to be raised by a local noble family.
I'm taking 'Folk Hero' as...
I bet he went away from that conversation thinking, '....against the wishes of her father? Preposterous! What a stupid backstory....'
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But... Wait.
In 5E, Bards aren't proficient in shield use. How did he wield the scale properly?
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And the character was still a BABY when he did all this. Wow.. just.. wow.
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o_O
Is this campaign starting the players out with mythic tiers? If not, then it is hard to explain why this PC is more of a badass baby than Hercules was.
And why he is only level 1, having killed a dragon of at least Adult age.
"My character is a beautiful blonde with big t~&!.
.
.
.She's a lesbian."I never understand this...
Then again I may be biased...
(Im a total of 5'2" and weigh all of 110 lbs... and pretty much the poster child of girl who missed puberty -.-)
you are a whole 2 inches taller than me and a whole 20 pounds heavier. -jealous little Ilina-
you are a whole 2 inches taller than me and a whole 20 pounds heavier. -jealous little Ilina-"My character is a beautiful blonde with big t~&!.
.
.
.She's a lesbian."I never understand this...
Then again I may be biased...
(Im a total of 5'2" and weigh all of 110 lbs... and pretty much the poster child of girl who missed puberty -.-)
How old are you?
This may make me feel a little better about myself xD
you are a whole 2 inches taller than me and a whole 20 pounds heavier. -jealous little Ilina-"My character is a beautiful blonde with big t~&!.
.
.
.She's a lesbian."I never understand this...
Then again I may be biased...
(Im a total of 5'2" and weigh all of 110 lbs... and pretty much the poster child of girl who missed puberty -.-)
How old are you?
This may make me feel a little better about myself xD
i will be twenty-six on the twentieth of January in 2015. still doesn't change the fact i am 5 foot nothing and only 90 pounds.
If a 5 foot 2 110 pound person were to be 'shrunk' while keeping her same physicality, she'd suddenly weigh 99.7 pounds, where a 5 foot even 90 pound person suddenly gaining 2 inches would then weigh 99.3... so really only 10 pounds of difference there.
If they were both suddenly as tall as wreck it ralph one would weigh 524.9 and the other would be 581.5 pounds.
If a 5 foot 2 110 pound person were to be 'shrunk' while keeping her same physicality, she'd suddenly weigh 99.7 pounds, where a 5 foot even 90 pound person suddenly gaining 2 inches would then weigh 99.3... so really only 10 pounds of difference there.
If they were both suddenly as tall as wreck it ralph one would weigh 524.9 and the other would be 581.5 pounds.
doesn't change the fact we both missed puberty
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You're both pretty small targets for puberty to hit... Must be taking attack penalties.
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taylor swift is 5'10 120... presuming her publicist isnt lying...
so relative to that
the 5 foot 90 pound person would be 5'10 143.
the 5 foot 2 110 pound person would be 5'10 158.
If she were only 5 feet tall, allegedly taylor swift would weigh less than 76 pounds.
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I'm going with touch attacks or pounce... though i've met folks for whom puberty did a bull rush or a trample.
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lol ok I feel better with my self xD I just turned 20 :P
And seeing as I have taken martial arts since I was a kid I am going to assume I got an AC bonus from monk levels? xD
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lol ok I feel better with my self xD I just turned 20 :P
And seeing as I have taken martial arts since I was a kid I am going to assume I got an AC bonus from monk levels? xD
Considering your knowledge of the mythical sequel to Kung Pow, this makes perfect sense.
Semi-related to the topic of the thread, I just got a character submission for a (very, very) closed Cyberpunk PBEM I'm running.
The entirety of the character description is:
"My name is Jack. I am a cyborg. I want to shoot bad guys."
There's a simplistic, wholesome sort of goodness about it, but for a game that (even if it were open) is clearly labeled a deep-investigation psychodrama, I'd still say no.
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How high is your wisdom score again?lol ok I feel better with my self xD I just turned 20 :P
And seeing as I have taken martial arts since I was a kid I am going to assume I got an AC bonus from monk levels? xD
.... lets not get into that...
I am just not an optimized monk xD....
but I did take a dip into swashbuckler!!! (lol thats what we like to joke around and call fencing class.... how to be a pirate 101)
when i took my single level of monk, i took the carmendine monk archtype (everything monk related is based off intelligence instead of wisdom, which helps with my 179 IQ/18 intelligence being a better defense than my 5 Wisdom, 1st level archetype ability of carmendine monk. unarmed attacks are treated as if i had a strength score equal to my intellect score as a side effect. +4 to unarmed attack rolls, damage rolls and CMB sure beats -1 and +4 to AC is better than -3)
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Hm... That would have been a good idea... sadly I don't think re-training rules apply to real life xD
well i have
Strength 9
Dexterity 9
Constitution 12
intelligence 18
Wisdom 7
Charisma 9
i'm a whopping 5 point character
i'm a
Carmendine Monk 1, Otaku 2 with the Impoverished Adult Lolita Archetype
Impoverished Adult Lolita is an archetype for female otaku who failed to be touched by puberty . my boyfriend and fiancee, is a security guard for a grain silo at a farm that allow he and i to stay there, we get payed not in money, but in room, board and essentials, because it is easier for an impoverished desert farming town to pay in that specific package in place of money. we also get a combined 300 dollars a month luxuries budget for minor frivolous things, like taking the bus or gaming. thing is, because we are a couple, we have to share the budget, or else it would have been a 75 per month luxuries budget.
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Eh, wow. That is one epic baby. . . .
I would have toned it down a bit and made it a little more "Baby's Day Out"... but that's just me.
. . . i took the carmendine monk archtype (everything monk related is based off intelligence instead of wisdom. . . .
I was actually about to suggest something like that. The Kung Fu Genius feat is actually Paizo made (Dragon Magazine).
That is unfortunate... I am sorry to hear that :(
Eh, wow. That is one epic baby. . . .I would have toned it down a bit and made it a little more "Baby's Day Out"... but that's just me.
. . . i took the carmendine monk archtype (everything monk related is based off intelligence instead of wisdom. . . .I was actually about to suggest something like that. The Kung Fu Genius feat is actually Paizo made (Dragon Magazine).
Carmendine Monk is an Archtype Adaption of a 3.5 Feat
Carmendine Monks used intelligence instead of Wisdom for anything monk related. but the Archetype version, instead of stunning fist. was treated as having a strength score equal to her intellect score for a;; the purposes of things pertaining to unarmed strikes and monk weapons,it was a mini archetype, it could also replace similar feats though (like elemental fist and the like) and was dip friendly, if you had int 18 and strength 9, you could still take power attack and dragon style, but it would only apply to unarmed strikes and monk weapons, using your intellect as a pseudo strength score. but it would retroactively apply to other weapons if your real strength increased to meet the requirements
so you got intelligence to hit and damage, could apply increased intellect modifier from the dragon style feat chain, and use power attack, with unarmed strikes and monk weapons, as if you had the intellect to fake the strength. which was good if you rolled poor on strength or on wisdom
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That is unfortunate... I am sorry to hear that :(
at least i don't have to pay for food, pay rent or pay much in utilities, it isn't a bad package. our bosses allow us to tap into their food supply as part of the payment and we get a shared room with plenty of freshly grown crops, plus we get to tap into enough plant fibers for my boyfriend to make the clothes we require.
so a lot of our expenses our pre paid. it isn't too bad, plus being the future wife of a "Corn Aegis" or Chief of Grain Silo Security has its perks. he is an amazing cook, knows how to sew pretty well, and we have a room with a computer terminal that allows limited computer access at certain times of day
when i help with the year round harvest, it is pretty fun, i might not get to ride a tractor like an elementary schooler, but planting and harvesting corn and other grains to help feed the farmhands is pretty fun. the whole town is one massive farm in a massive northern california desert. i might be mute and unable to speak or sing along with the fellow harvesters, but the songs of the harvesters are very cute and very fun to hear and just make you want to enjoy the labor. i can't speak, but i can still hear.
That is unfortunate... I am sorry to hear that :(at least i don't have to pay for food, pay rent or pay much in utilities, it isn't a bad package. our bosses allow us to tap into their food supply as part of the payment and we get a shared room with plenty of freshly grown crops, plus we get to tap into enough plant fibers for my boyfriend to make the clothes we require.
so a lot of our expenses our pre paid. it isn't too bad, plus being the future wife of a "Corn Aegis" or Chief of Grain Silo Security has its perks. he is an amazing cook, knows how to sew pretty well, and we have a room with a computer terminal that allows limited computer access at certain times of day
when i help with the year round harvest, it is pretty fun, i might not get to ride a tractor like an elementary schooler, but planting and harvesting corn and other grains to help feed the farmhands is pretty fun. the whole town is one massive farm in a massive northern california desert. i might be mute and unable to speak or sing along with the fellow harvesters, but the songs of the harvesters are very cute and very fun to hear and just make you want to enjoy the labor. i can't speak, but i can still hear.
Ah ok :).
Sadly I do not have such an interesting life right now. I live a college life here in PA :P. The school is beautiful but boring. I got most of my wild adventuring out of me when I was younger (I spent a good deal of my life in Germany and France)
life on a farm is pretty similar, i just get excitement from my peers. they provide the Disney style Work Singing Montage and i work with a minor rythm to my efforts alongside them.
Cool :)
I actually find it funny that I actually am not all that excited by castles xD.
I've grown up all around castles (Germany is FILLED with them) and even my School has a Castle on its Campus Grounds.
Cool :)
I actually find it funny that I actually am not all that excited by castles xD.
I've grown up all around castles (Germany is FILLED with them) and even my School has a Castle on its Campus Grounds.
your castles appear just as mundane to you as farms appear to me. we are excited by neither, it is all about the peers to excite us? rightsies?
your castles appear just as mundane to you as farms appear to me. we are excited by neither, it is all about the peers to excite us? rightsies?Cool :)
I actually find it funny that I actually am not all that excited by castles xD.
I've grown up all around castles (Germany is FILLED with them) and even my School has a Castle on its Campus Grounds.
Absolutely :)
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Lol you know whats more exciting than explosions???
ESPLOSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH CAKE!
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UP! ESPLOSIONS!!!!
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ESPLOSIONS!!! Is like... take an Explosion, add michael bay, multiply by 2 mythbusters, then square it to the power of goblin xD... and cake on the side
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:P
now THAT is an Esplosion
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How high is your wisdom score again?lol ok I feel better with my self xD I just turned 20 :P
And seeing as I have taken martial arts since I was a kid I am going to assume I got an AC bonus from monk levels? xD
.... lets not get into that...
I am just not an optimized monk xD....
but I did take a dip into swashbuckler!!! (lol thats what we like to joke around and call fencing class.... how to be a pirate 101)
...there's a bridge I'd like to sell you...
well i have
Strength 9
Dexterity 9
Constitution 12
intelligence 18
Wisdom 7
Charisma 9i'm a whopping 5 point character
i'm a
Carmendine Monk 1, Otaku 2 with the Impoverished Adult Lolita
Have you seen kore wa zombie desu ka?
Have you seen kore wa zombie desu ka?
nopies, but my unarmed strikes are intelligence based as is my monk AC bonus thankies to carmendine monk archetype
:P
now THAT is an Esplosion
I much prefer making things Asplode. It's like an Esplosion... but with more chunky meat bits!
Also....
What about "This Zombie"? You haven't been in my garage have you?
FOOLS! I told them to keep the door locked! Now my experiment has escaped! God save us all! The FrankenWeenie cometh!... Just had to try and put my asploded hot dog back together so I can have lunch, didn't I?