What is the worst roleplaying / backstory you have ever seen?


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Liranys wrote:


Okay, I can see your point about the simple, short, boring. Just so you know, I would never submit a back story that short and boring, it was just a quick, off the top of my head, example to prove that actually writing something down is not very hard.

Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD


Muad'Dib wrote:


Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD

:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Shadow Lodge

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TriOmegaZero wrote:
I've always felt that backstories are written at the table, not before.

This is actually how my groups tend to work. I get a barebones concept and basic history to start, but as the character is played over the course of months or even years, bits of the backstory get fleshed out in more detail, either due to the GM coming up with something and running with it in-game, or the player getting inspired and filling in the details.

Silver Crusade

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The A-option is for the player to collaborate with the DM ensuring a backstory that fits in with the DM's world/campaign, and also ensuring the the DM is already on board with it. : )


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Liranys wrote:
Muad'Dib wrote:


Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD

:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Sometimes I find other people repeating myself.....


KenderKin wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Muad'Dib wrote:


Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD

:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Sometimes I find other people repeating myself.....

Repeat(ing) myself...


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Tacticslion wrote:
KenderKin wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Muad'Dib wrote:


Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD

:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Sometimes I find other people repeating myself.....
Repeat(ing) myself...

You can't do that! "repeating yourself" is not a character concept that fits in my campaign world! I'm going to ban PCs who repeat themselves!


Orthos wrote:
Quote:

I don't get the GM's that expect a full, exciting, and rich history before 1st level. Ok, that just doesn't make sense. First; pre-teens don't topple governments (except maybe in Harry Potter). Second; if their history was that full, rich, and exciting, why aren't they back home managing their full rich and exciting life rather than investigating why a few horses are missing on the edge of town (remember adventures that 1st level PC's can handle).

Almost every time I read one of those 'ideal' full, rich, and exciting back stories I have 2 responses. Why are you not 7th level? And why are you here with us 1st level inexperienced puds?
Considering I never start at 1st level - I and my players prefer 2nd or 3rd - I generally expect at least one level's worth of stuff in backstory, even if it's just the basics of your training and a handful of experiences in your travels.

I'm similar, but I prefer level 4-5.

When it comes to backstory, this one I wrote is about what I want:

Spoiler:
Trinh Hue Pham is a short and slender Merundian woman in her early 20s who wears thick rimmed eyeglasses. She typically dresses in military style field clothes, and moves about with a military bearing. She has a noticeable Meinanese accent, but her speech is very clear and articulate.

She came to Valedonia from Meinan when she was 12, and the journey inspired an interest in ships and the sea. She is bright and eager to please, and managed to adjust to life in Valedonia just fine. She grew to love Valedonia to the point that she signed on with the Navy soon after becoming an adult. Her intelligence, quickness to learn, and devotion to duty did her well, and she was trained as an Alchemist's Mate.

She proved skilled at both healing people and blowing thing up, and she's reasonably good with a crossbow, so she found herself providing most of the frontline medical support for landing parties, as well as working in the surgery. She served with enough distinction that the Commonwealth Marshalls offered her a position, an honor she accepted. She's still new to the organization, but she has quite a bit of combat experience, mostly with undead and sea monsters. Her new teammates are still getting used to her, but so far they view her as the skilled professional she is.

Trinh is a very outwardly friendly person, and is both talkative and courteous. She considers politeness and tolerance important, and isn't one to be crass or anger quickly. She is articulate and very well read, and is quick to ask questions about something that might interest her. She strives to act in a professional manner, and maintains her military style bearing. She exhibits kindness and concern towards those in need, and takes her duty to protect the citizens of Valedonia very seriously. She is a staunch patriot, and is proud to put her life on the line to protect her adopted nation and its people.

Not too long, but explains where she comes from, how she learned her class, and what she's been doing up to this point.


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The same one over and over again........from the same player.


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137ben wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
KenderKin wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Muad'Dib wrote:


Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.

-MD

:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Sometimes I find other people repeating myself.....
Repeat(ing) myself...
You can't do that! "repeating yourself" is not a character concept that fits in my campaign world! I'm going to ban PCs who repeat themselves!

But that's discrimination against people with Echolalia! Echolalia!


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I have been wanting to make an OP version of Smeagal from LOTR.

I have been thinking some type of rogue/monk,

Of course I have a theory that Smeagal is an incarnation of Caliban (think The Tempest, a famous play).....

So using elements of both I think I can make my DM's head ache!


His name was Caligula, the incompetent two-weapon fighter. I made a character who did nothing but drink and swing swords around. His backstory was pretty much himself getting plastered at bars and living the good life until the party showed up and asked him if he'd join. I of course fleshed out his character a bit more as the story progressed, getting over his alcoholism and such.


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Worst backstory?

"I'm the (identically statted) son/brother of my last character."

Even worse when they go from being Bob to Bob Jr., or Rob. A player in a LARP I was in pulled this three or four times. Each time just going right back to what he had been doing, assuming he knew all the same people (including being angry at whoever caused the last character to die, if it was foul play), and so on. I can only assume that the Camarilla must have decided to embrace an entire family's males en masse.


Scythia wrote:

Worst backstory?

"I'm the (identically statted) son/brother of my last character."

Even worse when they go from being Bob to Bob Jr., or Rob. A player in a LARP I was in pulled this three or four times. Each time just going right back to what he had been doing, assuming he knew all the same people (including being angry at whoever caused the last character to die, if it was foul play), and so on. I can only assume that the Camarilla must have decided to embrace an entire family's males en masse.

Maybe he was roleplaying Rogue Legacy. I'd just be glad he didn't roll Coprolalia.


Poldaran wrote:
Scythia wrote:

Worst backstory?

"I'm the (identically statted) son/brother of my last character."

Even worse when they go from being Bob to Bob Jr., or Rob. A player in a LARP I was in pulled this three or four times. Each time just going right back to what he had been doing, assuming he knew all the same people (including being angry at whoever caused the last character to die, if it was foul play), and so on. I can only assume that the Camarilla must have decided to embrace an entire family's males en masse.

Maybe he was roleplaying Rogue Legacy. I'd just be glad he didn't roll Coprolalia.

I think his intent was to play out every member of a local political dynasty. His off-putting and occasionally abrasive personality helped to insure he worked his way through several kinsmen.


The worst backstory?

Hmmm...
I think 'newbies' Grog the Orc takes the cake on that one; What was his backstory you ask? "Grog IS Orc!" Yep... that was the WHOLE backstory.

Another likely candidate was 'Tactical Geniuses' Dwarven Fighter when I let people use that Central Casting book back in the nineties... It ended up being a detailed series of notes on an entire Dwarven clan; every roll seemed to require 1dX more NPCs be generated. I stopped counting at like around two dozen. I knew I was in trouble if he ever called on his friends and family to help him out with something... yeesh.


ElterAgo wrote:
Liranys wrote:
KenderKin wrote:
"Let's go squish some guts!"

Because that is totally well spoken...

I've never actually played a game with a Kender in it, but I used to know someone who told me some hilarious stories about his Kender and their party.

I've also heard horror stories about parties with Kender in them. I'm guessing it really depends on the person playing it, right?

Very much so. If you've ever read the books, think about if a co-worker did all that stuff to you. Would you have kept working with him? Probably not. The author of a book can keep them together, but when it is actually separate persons...

If the player realizes that less is more, it can work. Pull pranks only occasionally in ways and at times so it doesn't always risk a death or mission fail and not constantly. Then it can be comedic.

But many players tried to do it all them time, no matter the consequences, picking on one fellow player, and without the authors ranks in humor. It would end up funny for about the first 15 minutes, then I'd be ready to start looking for a new group to play with.

I only saw one player who did it well. Yes, it was hilarious and highly entertaining.

I have to admit to being this player, not with a Kender mind you, but with an Auron I think it was called in Werewolf. They were supposed to be teaching pranks, like Coyote, instead, I dyed someone's fur pink.


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Liranys wrote:


I agree with thejeff about the fairly minimal back story. It should be just enough to give you an idea about who this character is, but not enough to push the GM into any corners. Also, I agree with TZO about written at the table. I think the players should discuss the beginning plot hooks...

My favorite was Hunter, The third born son of a minor lord who fell in love with a peasant woman his father didn't approve of. He was banished for getting her pregnant out of wedlock. He ended up keeping to himself in an isolated town where he made his money from skins and meat he got from his kills. Then sent the money home to his love and their daughter. Sadly, he never got past the backstory.

And sadly, the whole backstory was just to explain a way a bit more starting gold so I could have a pocket watch.


If the entire backstory consists of the characters, race, name (first only), class, what they hate or ate, and from a far away land.."of the whatever people".

And any more than 4 questions leads to repetitition of the above answers.....


I've long wanted to start a character with the iconic Western baskstory:

"I had to kill a man, so I drifted..."

Silver Crusade

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"Jock was a strapping young lad...!"

Strangely, I never got any further when delivering this background to my group. : /


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Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

"Jock was a strapping young lad...!"

Strangely, I never got any further when delivering this background to my group. : /

Damn You! Now I have to do this just because...


Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

"Jock was a strapping young lad...!"

Strangely, I never got any further when delivering this background to my group. : /

That's right up there with the really fast hero named Speedo.

Dark Archive

I get really tired of two character's as concepts: The crazy-snarky oversexed action girl. I've seen them in almost every attempt I have made to play Pbp and typically they end up just distracting others and at times being inappropriate for if there are younger types around.

The other background I am tired of and think is really bad is the otaku. I get stories from players who want to take the katana as a weapon (because it's the strongest) and they see pain the world and have to get stronger to stop it. Or they just have to get stronger to be the strongest to protect those they love. This is usually role played out after kobolds attack a town in the beginning and do no permanent damage besides leaving blood stains everywhere.

In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.


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Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.

I .. what?

These are the statements that makes me very reluctant to GM for people I haven't vetted. It is beyond weird that it happened. It's downright strange.

Dark Archive

knightnday wrote:
Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.

I .. what?

These are the statements that makes me very reluctant to GM for people I haven't vetted. It is beyond weird that it happened. It's downright strange.

I should go back and get the exact quotes. There's a lot of strange stuff going on in that game. While I'm a vampire (that is actually evil) I seem to be more calm and reasonable than a lot of people in the party. One person has killed themselves a few times to try and be reincarnated into stronger creatures.

It's really strange.

And it's pushed me into being "Lazy Evil" alignment where my basic reaction "Is whatever the Hell we're doing today, I guess I'm here."


That is strange behaviour, enough so that most of my characters would suspect a lust aura, or something. Since that sounds like something people would do under the influence of drugs or something similiar. You know "Wow everything is REALLY colorful, and this carpet feels AMAZING!" sort of behavior.


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David Neilson wrote:
That is strange behaviour, enough so that most of my characters would suspect a lust aura, or something. Since that sounds like something people would do under the influence of drugs or something similiar. You know "Wow everything is REALLY colorful, and this carpet feels AMAZING!" sort of behavior.

Sounds to me like male players who shouldn't be allowed to play female characters until they grow up - or ever if they're already adults.


knightnday wrote:
Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.

I .. what?

These are the statements that makes me very reluctant to GM for people I haven't vetted. It is beyond weird that it happened. It's downright strange.

Yes avoid the unvetted (DM's also) or you will find yourself in the middle of a quest to recover a "+2 back scratcher".......+2 massager or whatever you can imagine the game is about.


KenderKin wrote:
knightnday wrote:
Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.

I .. what?

These are the statements that makes me very reluctant to GM for people I haven't vetted. It is beyond weird that it happened. It's downright strange.

Yes avoid the unvetted (DM's also) or you will find yourself in the middle of a quest to recover a "+2 back scratcher".......+2 massager or whatever you can imagine the game is about.

Yeah. I.. Wow.. nope. I've DM's for unvetted TEENAGERS and not had this kind of an issue. Of course, I never DM online, only in person and people seem to behave better in person because it's not as "anonymous" as posting online. Yet another reason I avoid online games.

I generally end up DMing at Cons with one shots, so worrying about character background (since I always use pregen characters) isn't a big deal. I'm writing them after all.

The +2 back scratcher would only be funny if it were in a silly game and the PCs all knew the game was going to be silly to begin with and it wasn't an actual long campaign. In other words, I could see that "weapon" in a Kobolds Ate My Baby game...

Grand Lodge

Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
I get really tired of two character's as concepts: The crazy-snarky oversexed action girl. I've seen them in almost every attempt I have made to play Pbp and typically they end up just distracting others and at times being inappropriate for if there are younger types around.

I always wonder what the guys who do this are trying to personally work out. Immature and sexist as it (usually) is, I understand the impetus behind writing a sex-crazed bisexual woman into your fiction . . . it's quite another thing entirely to want to be that character.


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EntrerisShadow wrote:
Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:
I get really tired of two character's as concepts: The crazy-snarky oversexed action girl. I've seen them in almost every attempt I have made to play Pbp and typically they end up just distracting others and at times being inappropriate for if there are younger types around.

I always wonder what the guys who do this are trying to personally work out. Immature and sexist as it (usually) is, I understand the impetus behind writing a sex-crazed bisexual woman into your fiction . . . it's quite another thing entirely to want to be that character.

I've never actually seen this. Maybe my friends are all more mature. The Male playing Female and Female playing Males all play them like they are normal people. Well, one of the males is kinda dumb, but that's due to a low INT score and she'd be playing him the same if he were female. He's strong like bull, dumb like ox and possibly one of the funniest characters in the campaign at present. The guy playing a girl also is just a person, not an over-sexed anything. Course, it helps that she's a dragon blood sorcerer and so not a normal female anyhow.

Shadow Lodge

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Liranys wrote:
Yeah. I.. Wow.. nope. I've DM's for unvetted TEENAGERS and not had this kind of an issue. Of course, I never DM online, only in person and people seem to behave better in person because it's not as "anonymous" as posting online.

Be very glad you haven't run into people like these in person, that suck the life from the group and the game.


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TOZ wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Yeah. I.. Wow.. nope. I've DM's for unvetted TEENAGERS and not had this kind of an issue. Of course, I never DM online, only in person and people seem to behave better in person because it's not as "anonymous" as posting online.
Be very glad you haven't run into people like these in person, that suck the life from the group and the game.

TOZ! Stop talking about me.....you know it makes my ears burn.

Want some popcorn?


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KenderKin wrote:
Want some popcorn?

Don't mind if I do NOM NOM NOM


KenderKin wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Yeah. I.. Wow.. nope. I've DM's for unvetted TEENAGERS and not had this kind of an issue. Of course, I never DM online, only in person and people seem to behave better in person because it's not as "anonymous" as posting online.
Be very glad you haven't run into people like these in person, that suck the life from the group and the game.

TOZ! Stop talking about me.....you know it makes my ears burn.

Want some popcorn?

KenderKin, you really remind me of my friend with the Kender stories. LOL


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KenderKin wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Yeah. I.. Wow.. nope. I've DM's for unvetted TEENAGERS and not had this kind of an issue. Of course, I never DM online, only in person and people seem to behave better in person because it's not as "anonymous" as posting online.
Be very glad you haven't run into people like these in person, that suck the life from the group and the game.
TOZ! Stop talking about me.....you know it makes my ears burn.

Sorry. *points matches somewhere else*


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MYTHIC TOZ wrote:
KenderKin wrote:
Want some popcorn?
Don't mind if I do NOM NOM NOM

atta boy!


I miss the mullet....


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One of my neighbors has a mullet. She looks like a guy.

Scarab Sages

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This one goes back to late 2nd edition. The two guys had clearly collaborated beforehand and were in cahoots when they turned up to play. It essentially went something like this:

Player 1: I'm playing a half orc riding a boar with a lance and shield. I'm going to ride across the land like an orc and fight stuff and destroy anything.

Player 2: Yeah. I'm playing a half orc riding a boar with a lance and shield just like him.

The two characters were practically identical. The second player tagged along and followed the first player's lead as they took the rest of the party captive, tied them up and dragged them along behind their boars with rope as they charged off across the plains. Eventually one of the characters (my own, actually) perished. Player 2 said "I'm sorry (Player 1's name), but I'm going to have to kill you for that."

They then fought to the death. I believe Player 1 won but Player 2 had finally stood up to his master after many weeks of towing the line (although this was the first time he'd made an obvious copycat character).


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Speaking of Mullets...

HERO system, years ago.... The hero's name was Mr. Mullet! His entire back story was that he styled his hair with radioactive hair gel , so now his mullet is super powered. Not him, his mullet.


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my boyfriend plays young females, but other than having a few dark events in their backstory, they are pretty much normal people. sometimes driven by pleasures not found in the flesh.

the guy played a female nymph noblewoman who while as perverse as any other nymph experiencing her initial fey urges, was more driven by seeking a cure for her arcane illness that no cleric could cure and really enjoyed simple things like really sweet baked goods, cute clothing and having a few figures she considered older sibling stand ins of sorts. she might have engaged in fleshy pursuits for spare money, she was discreet about it and was actually more likely to enjoy a good pastry or a cute dress than she was to sleep around. in fact, her favorite pleasures were reading, puppetry, storytelling and poetry. she was more normal than most females played by a male, because my boyfriend is more mature than both Seth and Aaron. and just as obsessed with fey as i am.


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Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:

I get really tired of two character's as concepts: The crazy-snarky oversexed action girl. I've seen them in almost every attempt I have made to play Pbp and typically they end up just distracting others and at times being inappropriate for if there are younger types around.

The other background I am tired of and think is really bad is the otaku. I get stories from players who want to take the katana as a weapon (because it's the strongest) and they see pain the world and have to get stronger to stop it. Or they just have to get stronger to be the strongest to protect those they love. This is usually role played out after kobolds attack a town in the beginning and do no permanent damage besides leaving blood stains everywhere.

In a game I was recently in my PC who is a very old vampire noble and three other PCs are traveling and while on the trip the two girls start grabbing on the guy's crotch and each others breasts while just walking along and discussing how it feels. My character takes offense to their shenanigans and yells at them about the danger of being in the open. But it's just weird that that happens.

Dang. My evolutionist summoner is a leather lamellar wearing bokken wielder (with continual flame on it) and his eidolon looks like a young girl and uses a katana. They have a romantic relationship that 'fades to black'... I'd almost say they're the personificatio of what you dont like if it werent for the fact that they're the opposite of that 'get stronger' mentality. He's more of a Big Lebowski type. They go from town to town helping folks out and entertaining children. The summoner and the eidolon both capped out singing... we like to be entertaining. The crunchy combat side of the game is something they try very hard to avoid.

Bit of a 'scraggly antisocial boy' meets 'extraplanar girl' who helps him develop happy social skills and now he's finally able to loosen up and reach out to people, he's kind of addicted to 'making the most of social encounters with the locals since he was never good at it as a kid' kind of thing. No matter how much trouble happens all around us everything will be ok as long as we're together kind of thing. Gandalf meets hippy meets jedi meets... Belldandy...

His name is Vincent Takeda (of course) and hers is Zhdurievdrioshka (dree for short). We'll be in town all week! He looks like Tristam (Mads Mikkelsen) from King Arthur and she changes looks daily thanks to the evolutionist transmogrify.

So I guess I add 'creepy dude with the shapechanging girlfriend' to the dynamics that make you twitch... I'm a hat trick of creepiness I suppose.


Auren "Rin" Cloudstrider wrote:
in fact, her favorite pleasures were reading, puppetry, storytelling and poetry. she was more normal than most females played by a male, because my boyfriend is more mature than both Seth and Aaron. and just as obsessed with fey as i am.

Okay, I'm officially scared now. ;)


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Liranys wrote:
Auren "Rin" Cloudstrider wrote:
in fact, her favorite pleasures were reading, puppetry, storytelling and poetry. she was more normal than most females played by a male, because my boyfriend is more mature than both Seth and Aaron. and just as obsessed with fey as i am.
Okay, I'm officially scared now. ;)

Ha, if your scared by that I know you'd hate the story I'm writing now, a puppet master naruto

And here's one of my favorites in the genre just to get you started.


The Indescribable wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Auren "Rin" Cloudstrider wrote:
in fact, her favorite pleasures were reading, puppetry, storytelling and poetry. she was more normal than most females played by a male, because my boyfriend is more mature than both Seth and Aaron. and just as obsessed with fey as i am.
Okay, I'm officially scared now. ;)

Ha, if your scared by that I know you'd hate the story I'm writing now, a puppet master naruto

And here's one of my favorites in the genre just to get you started.

There should be a rule like for a duck. Never pick up a puppet in a dungeon. It never ends well. ;)


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Liranys wrote:
The Indescribable wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Auren "Rin" Cloudstrider wrote:
in fact, her favorite pleasures were reading, puppetry, storytelling and poetry. she was more normal than most females played by a male, because my boyfriend is more mature than both Seth and Aaron. and just as obsessed with fey as i am.
Okay, I'm officially scared now. ;)

Ha, if your scared by that I know you'd hate the story I'm writing now, a puppet master naruto

And here's one of my favorites in the genre just to get you started.

There should be a rule like for a duck. Never pick up a puppet in a dungeon. It never ends well. ;)

And now I need to look up the rules for intelligent magic items to f+$+ with players, thank you very much.


You're welcome. :) They're all on the PFSRD. I actually have them copied and pasted into my module for easy reference. :D


Oh what's your module?

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