False factoids


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WitB is not actually the box, but the contents. It is a block of wood.


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Sissyl has NO idea how long I have been waiting to false factoid her, and now she is delightfully disappointed that I can't think of anything good.

Sissyl operates on a bacon/bowties orange/blue morality system.


WITB recently had a rather tense encounter with a drunken box cutter one Saturday night after the bars closed. No one was hurt, but WITB was heard to say "You feel lucky, punk?" This, apparently, was sufficient to scare the box cutter off.


Molten Dragon doesn't get me at all.


Of course not. He is BaO, and you are BoB.


Sissyl enjoys long walks on the beach, horses and reading Vogon poetry.


Thanks to the cold weather, Molten Dragon is now known as Solidified Dragon.


In cold weather, Pulg's nipples can be used by cat-burglars to cut glass windows for ease of entry.

Silver Crusade

*Can-Yes-G-Bark Have No Nipples Make Koko Sad*


Koko has eon numerous battles in the American Sign Language rap community.


GoatToucher's mastery of American Sign Language has had him barred from all ASL-based get-togethers, and a restraining order from anyone who is fluent in ASL.


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KahnyaGnorc once bought a battery-powered battery. It was the best 20 bucks he ever spent.


Ventnor likes to build little pagodas out of used batteries, they are known as the "heavenly energizers of enlightenment."


GM_Beernorg was an extra in the classic Tom Hanks film 'Mazes and Monsters' his performance as "Maze #3" was lauded as "Largely forgettable, yet devastatingly important," by Movie Bob.

Sovereign Court

WITB gained it's appearance through the use of a magic spell to be the world's hardest rubics cube.

Scarab Sages

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wants a shoehorn - the kind with teeth! - because he knows there's no such thing.


Avatar of Zon-Kuthon lost his left pinky while vacationing in Arborea, and would appreciate it if it was returned.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet, ninja that he is, is too busy to find it.


Ol' Ventnor Flanigan McGillicutty loves potatoes.


Molten Dragon can look at the sun without sneezin'!

He does, however, soil himself with explosive force.


The sight of GoatToucher going through his "wake up" routine causes anyone and everyone to soil themselves with explosive force.


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GM_Beernorg, whose bedroom window overlooks GT's workroom, has exploited this phenomena to shorten his morning commute by launching himself out of his apartment. He can now make it into work in around 7 malodorous minutes.


Pulg believes himself to be the reincarnation of Vizzini (Wallace Shawn's character from Rob Reiner's 'The Princess Bride'). The fact that the character is fictional in no way alters this belief.


If you say "inconceivable!" three times in WITB's hearing, he will spin around and open his lid to reveal a prize.

Liberty's Edge

Molten Dragon seeks revenge on a six fingered man.


lucky7 has snapped the sixth finger off of his left hand and hidden it just to be sure that he won't be found by Molten Dragon.


Well, Ventnor, that is simply inconceivable!


Sissyl got a job scriptwriting the 'adult' version, known as The Pantless Bride, featuring Princess Buttock-Up (or Up-Buttock, in the original draft). Happily, Prince Humperdinck's name could remain unchanged.


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Pulg has given new meaning to the phrase "Brute Squad."


There are three dangers to be found in the Fire Swamp. All three of them are GoatToucher.

Dark Archive

Ventor is actually the deity of Vents


Despite the rumors, Harkevich is not related to Baron Vladimir Harkonnen.


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Harkevitch was a popular way of remarking on the presence of a female magic-user in 16th century Poland.

Molten Dragon is actually the number one cocktail in Hermea, consisting as he does of eggnog, belly-button fluff, fairy pee, Pabst Blue Ribbon, rocket fuel and the curdled screams and cries of GoatToucher's 'playmates'.


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How many Pulgs does it take to change a lightbulb?

2. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to murder its clone.


How many Ventnors does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Fire breath solves all his illumination needs.


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Sissyl changed a lightbulb once . . . once.

Dark Archive

KahnyaGnorc is pronounced Kah Nyaaaaaahh Gnorc Gnorc Gnorc! Which is an ancient swedish war cry.


Yes. It is actually spelled "skaruhamajjopåkorven". The literal meaning is roughly "I will inflict unimaginable tortures on you".


Sissyl is fluent in many forms of dead languages: Latin, Ancient Osirian, and most importantly Valley Girl

Dark Archive

What's in the box? is actually what is in the box


WITB likes to test whether a rolling stone gathers no moss.


Harkevich actually gets upset when he is compared to a wizard from Final Fantasy 1.

Partylf Sunev's favorite band is Poison.


Molten Dragon was I the running for RuPauls Dragon Race... Sadly the show never got off the ground...


What's In The Box was featured in a recent episode of Pimp My Time Cube.


Pulg's trombone is made out of an actual human bone.


Ventnor likes to paint himself pink and pretend he is an elephant.

Extra: What's in the box?'s relatives?


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Cluny was known as the Scourge of the 7 Seas. That proved too time consuming what with 7 whole seas to scourge.

Now he is content to be a caricature artist at local Renaissance festivals.


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Molten Dragon likes to turn up to Renaissance festivals in his normal clothes and pretend he's a time traveller.


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Pulg once ran into a TGiFridays wearing one of his grandfather's suits, a lab coat, and a pair of goggles, yelling "What year is it? What year is it?!?" Once told, he screamed "It works... IT WORKS!" and ran out into the night, cackling with glee.

Scarab Sages

If GoatToucher drinks a liter of seltzer, takes a deep breath, and holds it as he makes a running jump, he can achieve sustained floatation for up to 13 seconds (his record so far), and even increase his elevation by flapping his arms a la Kirby.


The 13 seconds was only because IHIYC hit GT with a blow dart and popped him.

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