"The THIRD jar has to have something good in it, right?"
I'm not afraid of the crit deck.
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This was in AD&D 2nd Ed. I had this whole story arc involving a large (500 member) war band of orcs and goblins. It was supposed to be the main antagonist for a pretty substantial part of the plot. The party of level one characters were given a mission just to locate the war band, get its general path of travel and an estimate of their over all force, a simple scouting mission. So, after one encounter with a scouting party to put them on the trail, the group finds the band camped. Everyone is all set to just count the campfires and go back to report. Then the guy playing the fighter just feels like there hasn't been enough action yet so he says "I charge through the camp." Not the best last words, but they were the most famous in my group as the only time a single character just up and charged and ARMY!!!!!
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Our party didn't really trust an NPC who was plane hopping with them with good cause. Even knowing they didn't trust him, they finally lowered their guard to him and paid for it, since the NPC and one of the players were the only ones capable of getting them back home from the plane that character was the obvious target for a backstab. In this case the backstab just happened to be done by a disintegrate.
Hearing the NPC beginning to cast, a spellcraft later resulted in the simple statement of "You little s...." trailed off as he totally bombed the fort save and high damage was rolled and the spell was followed up with a quickened gust of wind to scatter the ashes to keep him of being reasonably brought back to trap them all there. It was the first time they saw that spell combo paired and it had quite a jaw drop affect among the players.
In a similar vein:
"Stop. This is my fight."
"I'll keep going, i need to make the best of that haste spell's duration."
"The Yellow Sign? What's that supposed to me-"
And then the PC went insane and/or got his mind broken by Hastur.
You can not hurt me, I am protected by my magical armggghhh!
"Bonekeep has been a bit of a joke so far."
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"He's a merchant. How tough can he possibly be?"
"I read the scroll aloud." (In a Call of Cthulhu game.)
and my personal favorite...
In a 2e campaign, the party was facing a dragon bearing down on them from above, preparing to strafe them. AS the dragon dove to attack, the cleric casts command and utters the word, "Sleep." Play ground to a halt as the DM tried to calculate how much impact damage a diving dragon would inflict.
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"Center the fireball on me, I can take it!" (I actually had a barbarian say this once, while surrounded by foes that were suitably resistant to fire.)
"I attempt to [have my way with] the barmaid." (If only he had realized that the barmaid wore a girdle of giant strength...)
"Go ahead. Keelhaul me! I dare you!" (Said to Captain Harrigan in a Skull & Shackles session.)
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"Hey, don't you get hurt by positive energy?"
"Oh yeah!"
Then he was dead.
"Coward! Why would you run away?!"
"I can disarm this trap with one arm tied behind my back."
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In 2nd ed we were in a huge granite cavern. The BBEG was hovering near the granite ceiling, way out of reach of our melee specialists.
We had a ranger who was played by a guy famous for stupidity. He was the guy whose 12th level wizard responded to a JFK-style assassination by charging the warehouse with his dagger in a two-handed grip.
Once, when scouting ahead, he came across a mansion with a lawn in front. There was a narrow, winding gravel path. Worried about traps, he had a good idea (for once) and summoned a creature so it could walk up the path and set off any traps, while he observed and took notes.
In those days summoning wasn't an exact science; what you got was a random creature from a list. He rolled and got a giant spider. 'Whatever!' He had the spider walk the path, but its leg-span meant that its feet touched the grass either side of the path. The spider was suddenly burned to a crisp.
'What happened to it, exactly?'
'Do you have Spellcraft?' asks the DM.
*Looks* '.....nnooo...but I've got Cooking!'
Anyway, his ranger was getting frustrated by the BBEG being out of reach. He had an idea! He turned to the party fighter/cleric (who had the strength of a Storm Giant) and said the words that turned out to be his last:-
'Quick! Pick me up and throw me at the baddy, as hard as you possibly can! I'll show him how stupid it is to hover near a granite ceiling!'
Two damage rolls later (one from impacting the granite ceiling after being hurled at it with the strength of a Storm Giant, one from hitting the granite floor after falling 80-feet) and we were sweeping up the remains.
"Here, hold my beer watch this."
Of course, this is often followed up by a 4-wheeler accident.
Lets break all the crystal globes at once to save time!
I'm invisible! No one will see me!
The rays don't work right in front of the beholder because of the big eye. I'll just stay right in front of it!
I'm too small for the titan to notice!
My stealth check is super awesome, no one will see me!
I will not take my plate armor off just because we are on a boat.
Come on, we can trust these guys, elves are good.