Character's 'Famous' Last Words


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Shadow Lodge

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Detect Magic wrote:
Mama Loufing wrote:
Hey, guys! I only need 100 more XP to go up a level. Let's look for a random monster.
What is this? JRPG?

You do realize that random monsters in D&D predates most video games that are more complicated than Pong, don't you?

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

It's so cute when people think 'level grinding' is a new concept from video games.

Shadow Lodge

Hell, even the AP volumes each have a Random Monster chart at the beginning of each mini-bestiary.


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Heck, half the monsters in the original Final Fantasy are taken straight out of the Monster Manual. Most of them didn't even have their names changed; "Kary" (a mistransliteration of Kali) was used only because "Marilith" was too long for the limited text space granted to monster names (which the Japanese text could allow more of than Roman-language letters; the name was corrected in later PS1/GBA releases), and "Wizards"/"Sorcerers"/etc. because "Illithid"/"Mind Flayer" was copyrighted by WotC/TSR.


We don't need a plan.


DM: Roll a Fort save vs Death
Player: pssh...my fort save is awesome. Do I even really have to roll?
DM: Well since you put it that way, YES. ROLL.
Player: <sigh> /roll...roll=1
DM: muahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Player: I can make that jump, see I rolled great!
DM: You have how much stuff? And your a halfling?
Player:Well I still made the jump, right?

Character belly flops after a 70' fall and begins to drown, weighted down by near max weight limit of alchemical fire and crossbow bolts.

The Exchange

xanthemann wrote:
We don't need a plan.

I said this recently in a PbP campaign. The exact words were: You got meh, my sward, and the enemy. What more do we need? Ehahaha!


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Player: We're high level characters, let's just take what we need. No one here could stop us, it's just commoners and militia.

Characters take what they needed.

DM: Harmless old betty...starts getting bigger, redder and scalier

Player: Polymorphed Dragon, run!


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In a D&D 3.5 game, the party is infiltrating a vault of powerful magic items in the lair of a lich. They knew all this before going in, and were prepared to face a bunch of save or die traps, because that's just how this lich rolls.

Eventually, they find a magical trap that they can't disarm, so the cleric (of an evil god) gets a great idea to use summon monster I and drop cheap cannon fodder in the middle of the trap.

The rest of the party retreats 50 ft back and around a corner.

PC (to rest of the party in a condescending tone): "I stand 31 ft from the edge of the trap because these things always have a radius of 30 feet."

PC casts summon monster I and successfully triggers the trap.

PC gets caught in the 35' radius Circle of Death trap.

PC then fails his Fort save on a natural 1.


Hear what?


Oracle: How long does that ring of bestial friendship last? Ok, I will put the Roc eggs in the bag of holding.

Druid: (His first session with that character.) I will wildshape and follow the Will-o'-the-wisps up.

I don't have a lot of last words for you but I also have some "almost" last words.

Paladin: It's alright I can lay-on hands once per round as a swift action, I don't need your healing.

Sorcerer: I cast light on my boots.

Sorcerer: I will bring up the rear. (Almost died twice in one session this way)

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Sorcerer: Let's go! They can't kill us both! *charges in*

Magus: *charges in, casts invisibility on himself*

Sorcerer (now the only visible target): "Crap."


Fatespinner wrote:

Sorcerer: Let's go! They can't kill us both! *charges in*

Magus: *charges in, casts invisibility on himself*

Sorcerer (now the only visible target): "Crap."

Reminds me of a game I had with some friends. I played a wizard and we were walking along when we heard some enemies coming. I turned around to face them, three party members stealthed and one went invisible. Doh!!


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Death before dishonor! ATTACK!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


What the frak!

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

Some might not know this! Have a fun read! :)


Whew! That was a close one! (then the ground falls out from under them)


What is a vorpal bunny?


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

GM: You stand before a chasm that's so deep you can't see the bottom. It's about fifty feet across. There's no bridge and it's too far to jump.

Distracted player: Huh? A chasm? I jump across!


A rogue standing near the BBEG. 'I'll pick his pocket'

Oh, this was almost a characters last words...'hey, are you...'
This was said after the rogue slinked onboard a slave ship and saw the person she was after, as well as the captain of said ship. She could have had the drop on him had she not asked the 'slave' who she was. She ran instead of doing anything else.


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I jump on the dragons back!


No problem!

Don't worry!

I know what it is!

I got this!


We'll go on 3. Ready. Set. Go!


BOOM baby! Haaaa Haaaa Haaaaa!


YOU SAID YOU WOULD KILL ME LAST!


I am Captain Plan.......et.....


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I light the rocket
(We be goblins, last night)


"Halt! Who goes there!"

"I cast dispel magic on the trip-fighter, that should get rid of the suggestion spell". (just before a near-TPK in 3.5)

"I drink the invisibility potion then pick up the lantern and move in. Ow-ow-ow!!! Why are they still shooting at me, I'm invisible!"

The Exchange

This is why we don't let the Paladin charge in.


My Paladin is Lawful Good so he has no choice but to attack the Chaotic Evil ancient dragon. (yep, Lawful Stupid)

The Exchange

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But how do we know that the crate is full of Potions of CLWs?


I take my armor off first, I don't wanna suffer any armor check penalties for this swim.


I tell Zeus to kiss it!

We actually had a paladin do this ... in front of Zeus himself.


"I told you my plan would have been better."

Right before both characters die horribly.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

"Hey do you want to close that door?"
"Nahh we cleared it days ago nothing could have moved in by then"
"Hey there sure are a lot of bones in here..."

Dark Archive

DM: you are now close to the river. you can see some kind of ghost or spirit in the dark water (the river, is the Styx)

paladin: I throw a vial of blessed water in it to purif it.

Dark Archive

Venus: Don't look at me I need to change my clothes
player: I take a look

Dark Archive

my favorite

dm (me): the river goes down the cliff.
player: I swim under the cliff just beyond the point of no return and I come back


I would have far more like those, r-Kelleg, if it wasn't for me insisting the characters make Wisdom checks, seeing as how the characters are sometimes smarter than the players...lol
However, I could never stop the players who insist,
' My character would do it because it is the way he is.'


xanthemann wrote:
I jump on the dragons back!

I have a Monk considering this very move!


Pendin Fust wrote:
xanthemann wrote:
I jump on the dragons back!
I have a Monk considering this very move!

Heh, memories! :)

Spoiler:

During a HERO system (Fantasy Hero) game, we faced a shape-changing female dragon (dragonesse?) whose AC/Dmg Red was so redonkulous, the Magus equivalent jumped on her head, whacked her between the eyes to get her attention, and when she tried to toss him off he actually dove into her mouth and was swallowed. Thanks to that systems rules being a little more flexible regarding what you can do once swallowed whole, he actually defeated her from the inside. The GM gave him most of the experience for that encounter. ;P

"I open the door,... WAIT! I check for traps first!"

Shadow Lodge

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Bang.


"Dragon? Where?"


I have always liked:

"No way the module would put that at this level! I disbelieve in the X illusion..."


"I try to tumble through the group of trolls" (rolled high on initiative but poorly on acrobatics).

The Exchange

I didn't know a potion of CLWs required a Fortitude save.


We had a Ranger who had made a couple of alignment shifts due to his own actions. He went from CG to the Darkside. The final shift happened when we were in the company of a Gold Dragon. The Ranger's last words were,'I'll take the midnight guard shift by myself.'
The Gold Dragon ... well, he was on watch, too. The Ranger was never seen again.


Sleep is for the weak!
But naps are okay.

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