Character's 'Famous' Last Words


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The Exchange

Turin the Mad wrote:
"My second character is going to pull a Kazinski: he slathers himself in bacon grease and slaps the ten soul-sucking zombies with his belt!"

KoDT reference ftw, though if I may natter that this should be called a Herzog, I believe.

Of course if it's all just coincidence and not a reference, I revoke my natter comment.


No one can resist my diplomacy!

I follow it into the tunnel!

Nothing can stop me!

Let's flank it!

What do you mean I can't crit on undead?

What's a Will-o-wisp?


Zerombr wrote:
Turin the Mad wrote:
"My second character is going to pull a Kazinski: he slathers himself in bacon grease and slaps the ten soul-sucking zombies with his belt!"

KoDT reference ftw, though if I may natter that this should be called a Herzog, I believe.

Of course if it's all just coincidence and not a reference, I revoke my natter comment.

Oh, you're correct - the player making the reference was in error (Herzog instead of Kazinski). ^__^

Silver Crusade

I'll go down first.
Go ahead and cast it, I'll be fine, I have evasion.
You only hit me if you miss by 4, what's the chance of that.
I search for tra.. crap...


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"Is that a one or a seven?"


"Ok, enough with all of this bickering nonsense. Here, give me the spyglass and I'll go watch for the Blue Dragon."

- by my character Braei in Rise of the Runelords during an argument between the players and their characters whether or not they should have a sentry watch for the dragon whose hoard they were currently plundering. He survived on single digit positive-negative HP for several rounds by self-healing, help from the party Sorcerer's cohort Oracle, and the rest of the party scrambling all over themselves to make the dragon prioritize them over that there holy vindicator being crushed to death inside his armor by the dragon's hands.

I was prepared to take out a new character sheet the moment I heard my GM say "Roll Perception..."

"Oh, well this is awkward..."

- Party Sorcerer from above situation during multiple occurences in both RP and IRL when playing computer games.


Edinoiz wrote:
...an argument between the players and their characters...

These games and their inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. :/


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Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Edinoiz wrote:
...an argument between the players and their characters...
These games and their inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. :/

To clarify, the characters were arguing in between themselves and the players were arguing in between themselves, not players arguing with their characters.


Yeah, I got it. I was just making a cheesy, not-terribly-funny joke. :P


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Bah! Real role players can argue with their own characters!


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

Wizard in Jade Regent after accidentally Magic Jarring the party barbarian instead of the enemy he had intended to.

-"Don't worry I'll just D-Door your body away I succeed on a 2 or better"

Samurai in the same game

- "Don't worry I have more HP than the rest of you combined I can take one attack from this guy"

GM rolls 10d6 breath weapon

*beat* -"Wow..that's a lot of sixes"

and a classic

"Hey guys, watch this".


*players on guard shifts for camp sites*

We don't need more than one person awake at a time.
or
I sleep in my armor...up in a tree.


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"Sweet Desna, what is that thing?" -- Telvin Merison, dwarven ranger, immediately after failing a Knowledge check to recognize a Chuul, which proceeded to paralyze him, drag him into a river, and eat him.

"A 4 doesn't save against Slay Living, does it?" -- Alexei Voinovich, human wizard. Moments later his cat familiar Mishka, maddened with grief, charged the cleric who did it. She hit, dealt exactly 1 point of damage ... and took him down. ^_^


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That's an embarrassing way to die. Killed by a wizard's familiar.


Why do we need disguises? Let's just attack them all.


"Kobolds? CHARGE!!!"


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You need WHAT for spell components?!


Hey! How about a traveling song? I'll start. Row row row your boat...gurk!

Grand Lodge

"sure, I touch the flub-flub" and my personal favorite, 1 hour before the end of the 20 year campaign, "What? I only need a 2 on the die to miss that sphere. I jump!"


'What is a sword of sharpness?' I heard this from one of my players recently.

I had to explain it was akin to the vorpal, and was a weapon widely sought after in previous incarnations of D&D. Why it didn't make the cut into Pathfinder I have no idea, but I did bring it back. It is so useful! Severing limbs as well as the head, depending on the roll! Unfortunately, it was my character that got hit by the sword instead of the person who asked the question. The roll also took off my head instead of an arm or leg...to bad, so sad. The point was still made though.


"I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!"


Is it dead?

Poke it with a stick.


Hold on! I've got an idea!

This was actually said just as my group was entering the cave of a green dragon.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Don't worry you go and check that other room I'll watch the door.

"I hand of the acolyte the cave fisher." said by the priest while in melee with the cave fisher and stuck on a ladder.


"It does want now?"


It ran into the woods! You guys go after it and I'll stay here to guard the horses and equipment.


It can't be that far down...I'll jump down.


I give Zeus a piece of my mind! This was actually said by a party member in one of my campaigns who was just visited by Zeus himself...it didn't go well considering that Zeus could shoot off more than his mouth.

Sovereign Court

I'll ride the wounded red dragon down the tunnel...

I cut the portcullis chain! (my all time favorite)


What did I say about your momma? I'll tell you what I said...


"Hey, are you going to drink that potion?"


Stay here. I'll check it out.


GM (me) - "Are you sure?"
Player - "Yep. Roll it."


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Pendin Fust wrote:

GM (me) - "Are you sure?"

Player - "Yep. Roll it."

Oh, how I know that one! I always, without fail, have to remind players, 'when the GM asks are you sure, you may want to think about it.'


"It's just a wafer thin mint ..."


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"Alright. Times up. Lets do this...LEEEERRRROOOOYYYYYYY JJJEEEEENNNNKKKINNNNNNS!"


Urizen wrote:
"Alright. Times up. Lets do this...LEEEERRRROOOOYYYYYYY JJJEEEEENNNNKKKINNNNNNS!"

Dang! That's the one I kept forgetting! Good one!

Shadow Lodge

Dang, how did I forget that one?


"I want the ring"


Here, you take it.


"Don't worry, I'm the GM's girlfriend..."


Astral Wanderer wrote:
"Don't worry, I'm the GM's girlfriend..."

Never a more sure method to ensure messy character death happens ... that and "I have it at home!" above. (This last one is a great way to get wasted in as cruel and inhumane a fashion as the GM can ad-lib.)


Heh, I wonder how often these famous last words are followed by the GM asking the player to make a wisdom check.


At least half...which is normally followed by the player saying I have a 50/50 chance.


As the party was being mauled by leopards our Alchemist (who was reduced to 0 hit points) asked,
'Can anyone heal me!?'


Ho! Ha! Dodge! Parry! Spin! Thrust!
And today...'I think you are here to take my eye.' This was said by the main Villain in the campaign to my archer, just before she rolled a nat 20 dealing a killing blow to the man.
I was informed later that the GM had spent an hour creating the enemy.


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xanthemann wrote:

Ho! Ha! Dodge! Parry! Spin! Thrust!

And today...'I think you are here to take my eye.' This was said by the main Villain in the campaign to my archer, just before she rolled a nat 20 dealing a killing blow to the man.
I was informed later that the GM had spent an hour creating the enemy.

The worst part is when you spend longer creating foes than the PCs do destroying them and taking their stuff.


All eyes on me!

This was said by a freed gladiator as he started to wade into battle with about 10 orcs that got past the castle walls. Little did he know there were thousands outside.


Nothing to worry about... Just hold the torch up so I can read this scroll (in a call of Chuthulu game).


Just jump, I will catch you... (said the chaotic neutral rogue to the paladin trying to jump across a chasm.)

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