Character's 'Famous' Last Words


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Silver Crusade

"BULLETS cannot harm me!" (just before being shot to death)


YO JOE!


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What does this do, again?


When someone else in the group successfully identifies that the group is fighting basilisks, and warns everyone to close their eyes, the group's warrior, while rolling his saving throw,

"I don't need to close my eyes, I can only fail on a-"

*petrified*


"Oh, yeah? You and what army?"

Liberty's Edge

"It's only a balance check." PC falls off rope bridge int pool of pudding.

"What's the worse that can happen?"

"No one dies at MY table."

"You can't crit with Melf's Acid Arrow!"

"Begin Clone Insertion Phase" for all those Paranoia fans.


"It's only a danger if it wins initiative and rolls a crit..."


Let's see if it worked. Go ahead and hit me!


"You do have a ressurection scroll ready, right?"

- Right before getting killed. The Cleric did NOT have the scroll.


Time out!


Kthulhu wrote:
Detect Magic wrote:
Mama Loufing wrote:
Hey, guys! I only need 100 more XP to go up a level. Let's look for a random monster.
What is this? JRPG?
You do realize that random monsters in D&D predates most video games that are more complicated than Pong, don't you?

There is no real excuse for "level grinding" when "levels" are an abstraction. Your character wouldn't know he needs 100 more experience, so he would never roam around looking for a random monster. It's metagame. Also, happens to remind me of JRPGs :P


Hold on, I'm not ready yet!

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

"Hold on, I gotta go skin that cat."

The Exchange

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But what are the odds of it having Combat Reflexes?


I charge!


I can jump it.


"Who needs casting defensively? I'll be just fine."


And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

Liberty's Edge

It's okay. It only takes 30 minutes to create a new PC.


"We don't need to set a watch here."


I use stunning fist against the drill instructor.


Character's last words: I can go check it out. [alone]

Player's last words (written on a private note to the DM): I begin to ponder my life.

Full Obit


Will-o-wisps are a myth. It's just swamp gas. I'll prove it.


I'm jumping out the window. I'll be fine, I'm in full plate."

"Demogorgon, Demogorgon, Demogorgon"

DM: are you sure?
Player: why do you keep asking me that?
Other Player: probably because you're on your 4th character

"I reach in the green demon head's mouth" (original ToH reference)

"I go looking for trouble."

"Do something useful!" (to a sentient wand of wonder in 2E)

"I disbelieve!"

Player: what is it and why can't I draw a card?
Other Player: you have to declare how many cards you are going to draw first, but be-
Player: 12! ... <starts drawing cards>
Other Player: ... careful, it's a Deck of Many Things

... and for some non-d&D/pf quotes...

(From early 1E Shadowrun) "How bad could a a group call 'The Universal Brotherhood' be?"

(from Paranoia) "Why is the cleanliness officer smiling like that?"

(Rifts) "Alien Intelligence ... so it's smart and not from around here, what's the big deal?"

(Early Traveller) "this rolling for your character thing is pretty cool, what's the worst thing that can happen?"

(Rolemaster) "I'll join, let me just roll up a character real quick"

-TimD


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*character falling off a cliff*

'I put on my ring of feather fall!'

*he comes up empty handed and realizes*...

'That rogue stole my ring!'


" ... i'll just sneak past the dragon ... "


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"I volunteer to contribute power to the ritual to restore the singer's vocal cords."

"Total commitment?"

"Yep, my character wants to tap that, so he's all in."

:looks at character sheet, grimacing:

"Are you sure?"

"Yep! Gimmie some tail!"

"You've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, the end part when the Nazis open the Ark?"

"Sure have, awesome scene!"

"Well.. the good news is you contribute enough energy to get the singer her vocal cords back."

"SCORE!! ... Wait, what do you mean 'the good news'?"

"The bad news is, your character dies like the Nazis did."

....


Ouch! Stop it!


"I charge the big one!"


Oh, what will he do? He knows I was joking when I was talking about his mom.


"Okay, I am going to crash the car into a tree to distract the guards at the compound." Well, I survived, but that took some fancy rolling.

"I spit in the jedi knight's face and charge him with my vibrosword."

"Serpent men? A whole city of them? And they're not prepared for me? CHAAAAAARGE!!!" I took out a few hundred, actually. More than I had thought.

"This is a chill touch spell. It hurts and kills people touched by it. If you don't talk, I am going to touch you with it."
"Hey, why are you interrogating him? I already got the information."
"Oh duh!" *smacks his forehead* *dies*


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"Wow these little guys got big all of a sudden."

Immediately followed by "Urk. Blegh."

Damn Spriggans.


"Smite me, oh mighty smiter!"

The party bard in a Dragonlance campaign... to Nuitari

She survived the first hit due to a natural 20 combined with a wish made much earlier in the game. Not so lucky for the second.


"...
Will save?!?
What do you mean will save?
Evokers don't use will save spells!?!
..."


Player to the GM: "Is that all you got?"


My handle animal skill is high enough that I can tame the dire wolf...

Webstore Gninja Minion

Changed "Player" to "Character" in thread title.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

"the ancient runes say safe to enter"
"Rickety, that bridge looks fine quit being a baby..."

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

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Not a PC moment. PArty kills dire rats.

"The last rat, with his dying breath, gasps out, "I... just wanted... to be... a chef!"


Matthew Morris wrote:

Not a PC moment. PArty kills dire rats.

"The last rat, with his dying breath, gasps out, "I... just wanted... to be... a chef!"

Off topic, go read Rutabaga, Adventuring Chef. Go!

Scarab Sages

Player: I search the door
Me: what's your total bonus *rolls a one... You find nothing
Player: I disarm the trap
Me: You didnt find a trap
Player: Fine I open the door but im sure there's a trap
Me: The ceiling collapses on you for *rolls max damage.... Im sorry
Player: I told you there was a trap

Scarab Sages

Party of four gladiators (no wizards or clerics)that the arena master was using to make covert illegal missiin in the city. We were pinned down behind a wall the only exit being a 15" wide hall with pikemen and crossbowmen blocking the exit. My half-orc barb takes a peek around the corner and sees that and turns to the other guys.

" Im going to break their formation, the rest of you charge after me"

As a player i knew he would die but this character always assumed he was too tough to be killed. First day in the arena he pissed off the toughest gladiator in his cell room and got knocked out, that was before any other combat anywhere. still that earned him respect and I was the only player who had a weapon in the first arena fight, that guy had guts


"Hey guys neeed some help?"

-New PC joining a party decided to make a drow and get introduced to the party while fighting spiders. The GM warned him it might not be the best time to introduce his new PC.

"I have not been damaged all night"

-Followed by a random encounter in which the character was mauled by a tiger(multple crits on a pounce attack).

Scarab Sages

" I look in the hole " (said hole was a murder hole, turns out that crossbow bolt throught the eye is pretty fatal)

Shadow Lodge

"This is going to be legend! Wait for it, wait for it. Boom!"

"Come at me, bro."

And from a Jade Regent campaign I ran for my brother and his friends:

Me: "You're going into the swamp that reduced you almost to death with only 1 HP?"

Player 1: "Yup."

*one TPK later*

Player 2: "We got wiped out by one injured halfling. One. Injured. Halfling."

(They were still level 1 and trying to find Goblins in the swamp)


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Not me but a player of mine.

PC "Go ahead and call the guards, we're heroes in this town."
NPC the PC was threatening "I'm the prince."


"Go ahead and open it, I cant believe we talked our way out of every fight tonight this has been an awesome session."


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In the hull of a ship in the middle of the ocean, 2 weeks from land (by ship):

"I empty a barrel of alchemist's fire on the floor and throw a lit lantern in the middle of the room and run."

He was trying to destroy the cargo the party had been commissioned to destroy.

----------

A Roc picks up the Druid, who has already used his wild shapes for the day, and lifts him 150 feet in the air and then circles back around.

"Help me!" screams the Druid as the Roc flies back towards the party.

The Ranger shoots at the Roc, rolling consecutive natural 20s for a maximum damage x3 critical (house rule), killing the Roc.

The Fighter asks, "Can I make a Reflex save to try to catch him?" GM nods in approval.

"I'll catch you, buddy!" and successfully rolls a reflex save.

Gargantuan Roc and Medium Druid land on top of Fighter after falling 150 feet.


"No, I will sleep alone!"

(Really happened in my campaign!)


"You know you can 5 foot step to avoid the AoO?" "Nah." The bear ate well that day.

"Save or dies are stupid, I mean if they make the save, then what?" That color spray on the next turn took down half the party and this guy...

My personal favorite is definitely "What's the worst that could happen?"

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