| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
May the New Year bring joy to the depressed, relief to the suffering, peace of mind to the frightened, and justice for all.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Screw fanatics.
*snip*
They must have some pretty big lawns if they can manage to show the scale of murder committed under the label of abortion. Getting away from that debate though, why call religious beliefs silly? Ignoring differences between my branch of Christianity and theirs, how is it silly to believe that you should love others whether they are kind to you or not? That life is precious and should be protected? Just because people aren't perfect doesn't mean they should stop aspiring to the higher ideals that religion provides.
I can only pray that the family's loss will open their eyes someday, and that some good can come of this tragedy. May God have mercy on those responsible for Leelah's suffering. Jesus Himself said "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
As a Christian, it irritates me how much of "us" seem to get the message so horribly wrong.
God created you, you are who you are. Gay, trans, cis...
I love all of you and wish you the best.
Religious beliefs are silly, from a rationalist perspective, because they have no justification and are based on either wishful thinking or entirely subjective experiences. I have no issues with a person being silly, as I'm pretty silly myself sometimes.
When said silly beliefs cross the line to begin harming other people, however, they become a lot more than silly. As GV said, appalling, heinous, disgusting, and I'd add anti-human, anti-life, fascist, hateful, and unloving to those descriptors.
how is it silly to believe that you should love others whether they are kind to you or not?
Why would you love someone who's being cruel to you? Much better to consider them contemptible and do whatever you need to do, within the boundaries of ethics, to get them to stop.
Leelah had no reason to love her parents after they did what they did to her. She probably still did love them, since it's very hard for a child to stop loving her parents, but they weren't giving her any reason to.
They obviously stopped loving her as soon as they found out she was a 'she' and not a 'he'. The loving remarks they're making now that she's dead are their expressions of love for the son they liked to pretend they had; the imaginary straight male son Leelah wasn't and couldn't be.
I wouldn't lump all Baptists in with the likes of the Westboro variety (who are, contrary to the name, more Calvinist in their outlook what with believing that only a chosen few will be granted salvation regardless of faith or actions). Just like I wouldn't lump all Muslims in with ISIS.
As far as Hell goes, one needs only to look out the window to see it. Sure it's no fire and brimstone with eternal damnation, but I can't imagine any worse devil than mankind. This world is the Hell humanity has made for itself. Think about it: all the corruption, human trafficking, senseless murders, etc. Having said that, I still believe in my faith because it provides me with the hope to keep striving to be the best I can be; that my having existed will in some small way make things better.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
P.S. as a sidenote, Dan Savage is a wank-stain. Basically, if you're not a white, decently rich, typically good-looking straight or gay cis guy without disabilities, Dan Savage will stomp on you. From actively harassing a young trans kid to his rampant hate against bi people to his fatshaming, I wouldn't use him to quote the weather report.
Speaking as an overweight bi guy, I will respectfully disagree with you on this. I've been a fan of Dan Savage for more than 20 years. I've been reading "Savage Love" for decades, I've bought every book he's written, and I subscribe to the paid version of his podcast. He is very much an ally of people who are bi and trans.
He can be irreverant, combatitve, and has no problem calling bull$#!t when he sees it. He's certainly said dumb things, mostly in the past. But he is neither biphobic nor transphobic. It seems to me that vocal minority of bi and trans activists have taken a few things he's said/written out of context, and concluded that he's bi- and/or transphobic. He's not.
I actually met Dan Savage in an airport a few years ago (we were on the same flight.) I ended up chatting with him for half an hour or so while waiting to board. He's a genuinely warm and engaging guy, with a blistering sense of humor.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Also-- let's lay off the blanket statements about religion. We can all agree that some faith communities are actively hostile to sexual minorities. But let's not paint all religions with the same brush.
Mikaze, congratulations. I am glad it has gone so well.
Welcome, Oakley!
I probably will be sparse in posting on this thread for a bit. Not everything about holidays was great, and the suicide of Leelah hits a little close to home.
He is very much an ally of people who are bi and trans.
Honestly, anyone who's advice for people in relationships with bi people is to solve the issues by going with a True Homosexual Gold Star Gay (tm) isn't an ally of mine. And he seems to be quite universally loathed by every trans community I've ever seen mention him. I agree with you on religion though, it's like the atheist movement is some marvel of acceptance.
|
By now, I'm sure many of you have heard about the suicide of trans teen, Leelah Acorn. For those who haven't, this is worth a read.
Heartbreaking. Like I said when I posted about this on facebook, 2014 was a good year for the advancement of trans rights and acceptance, but there is still far to go.
There's a #RealLifeTransAdult hashtag that has sprung up on Twitter in response, in an effort to reach out to trans kids who are suicidal. Hope it does some good, to the extent that stuff like that can help.
Take care of yourselves, everyone, and I hope the new year brings you more happiness than sorrow.
Still feeling a bit depressed over this. I'm not trans, but I live in this corner of the world now. I'm about 50 minutes from Kings Mill in Xenia and the amount of fundamentalist belief tied up in religion in this area is frightening. Rest in peace Leelah.
|
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Thanks again everybody. Big time. It's not 100% out in the open with everyone, but it still beats being 100% hidden by a mile.
And yeah, that news is depressing. "Still so far to go" is right. :(
I really hope the way she wanted to be remembered trumps how it's being disappeared locally.
(I don't live anywhere near Kings Mill, but I will say my area's most famous exports this past year have been homophobia and duck calls. I imagine it must have been much much worse there though.)
|
|
| 8 people marked this as a favorite. |
As a Christian, it irritates me how much of "us" seem to get the message so horribly wrong.
God created you, you are who you are. Gay, trans, cis...
I love all of you and wish you the best.
<3
I dearly wish more folks close to me took this approach to faith rather than the "afraid of everything" one.
I'm not a big fan of what Hal Lindsey has encouraged my family...
Honestly, believing in a God who loves instead of fearing a God who hates probably saved my life.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Mikaze! Mikaze! Mikaze!
Congrats, Mikaze!
He is very much an ally of people who are bi and trans.Honestly, anyone who's advice for people in relationships with bi people is to solve the issues by going with a True Homosexual Gold Star Gay (tm) isn't an ally of mine. And he seems to be quite universally loathed by every trans community I've ever seen mention him. I agree with you on religion though, it's like the atheist movement is some marvel of acceptance.
The impression I have of Savage is that he's improved and become more educated on the subject of transgender people of late.
The impression I have of Savage is that he's improved and become more educated on the subject of transgender people of late.He is very much an ally of people who are bi and trans.Honestly, anyone who's advice for people in relationships with bi people is to solve the issues by going with a True Homosexual Gold Star Gay (tm) isn't an ally of mine. And he seems to be quite universally loathed by every trans community I've ever seen mention him. I agree with you on religion though, it's like the atheist movement is some marvel of acceptance.
That may very well be, and has his transphobia doesn't hurt me personally, I won't try to act like some final arbiter. Regardless, I have a very hard time forgiving anyone who hasn't asked for forgiveness, and afaik he at least has not done that about his comments about bi people yet, which I am one of. And this is less than a year old and seems to be about as digusting as you can get.
In a half-decade or so I could perhaps get behind him, if he doesn't do any more horrible things and he's humble and not defensive about his past aggressions.| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
In regards to Dan Savage, I don't think I can get a good feel for someone I don't know personally but having said that, having read Savage Love for many eons there are times when his shallowness and nastiness surprise me.
Still, a lot of times he has good/funny things to say. *Shrug* People are more than one dimensional(usually=D).
In regards to religion, while I am an atheist(and thus by the rules of the internet must hate religion for no apparent raisin, bro) the idea that religions are anything less than many different belief systems with many different, often contradictory, beliefs even when closely grouped in the public mind (Christianity, Islam, etc.) is one I find silly(not that I am saying anyone here is saying that). There are anti-gay Christians, there are pro-gay Christians.
Likewise, the idea that a belief determines a persons moral worth (I believe in God, I don't believe in God) rather than their actions is ludicrous to me and speaking just from personal experience(anecdotal evidence) nice people and a$~$~~&s seem pretty evenly spread between those that have faith and those that don't.
And sure, beliefs often inform actions, but usually there is more going on in the decision making process than just that.
In regard to Leelah, as horrible as all that is, I don't think that her parents were bad people or didn't love her, I just think they didn't have the tools or education to understand what their daughter was going through and support her. Their beliefs led them to make bad decisions, along with local social pressure, ignorance etc. But it is likely more a case of failure to understand than being evil.
It's true Leelah was basically tortured because "God doesn't make mistakes." But people do make mistakes and education is the only way to fix that.
Hence the fight against sex ed, hmmmm?
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The impression I have of Savage is that he's improved and become more educated on the subject of transgender people of late.He is very much an ally of people who are bi and trans.Honestly, anyone who's advice for people in relationships with bi people is to solve the issues by going with a True Homosexual Gold Star Gay (tm) isn't an ally of mine. And he seems to be quite universally loathed by every trans community I've ever seen mention him. I agree with you on religion though, it's like the atheist movement is some marvel of acceptance.That may very well be, and has his transphobia doesn't hurt me personally, I won't try to act like some final arbiter. Regardless, I have a very hard time forgiving anyone who hasn't asked for forgiveness, and afaik he at least has not done that about his comments about bi people yet, which I am one of. And this is less than a year old and seems to be about as digusting as you can get.
In a half-decade or so I could perhaps get behind him, if he doesn't do any more horrible things and he's humble and not defensive about his past aggressions.
I never thought I'd take a position as Dan Savage's apologist...
Back in the '90s and early '00s, Savage was, more or less, a bi-denialist. Since then, many bi activists have taken these out-of-date quotes and run with them, ascribing to malice what was actually ignorance. Savage has appologized multiple times for his mistaken past beliefs (and the advice that came from them) over the past several years.
Here's the context, as Savage himself described on his podcast (paraphrased, from memory)...
Back in the '80s and '90s, many gay men would first come out as bi, either because they weren't yet certain of their own sexuality or because it was easier to tell Mom and Dad that, while they liked guys, they still liked girls too. Savage himself (and most of his similarly-aged gay male friends) all came out that way. These men weren't bi-- they were gay, but not yet fully admitting it.
(And, while I know that a bunch of anecdotes isn't data... every one of my own gay male friends who came out in the '80s or '90s did the same thing when they first came out.)
So, back then (remember: 20-30 years ago), there really were a whole lot of gay-but-claiming-to-be-bi men out there. This experience colored Savage's advice into the early '00s. Based on his personal experience, he really believed that there were very, very few actual bi men in the world, and his advice reflected this "fact." Since there was basically zero actual sociological research on that subject at the time, there really wasn't much of a voice speaking against this opinion, which was the conventional wisdom of the day. (Serious study of bisexuality didn't really begin until the 2000s.)
Now that he knows he had been wrong, Savage has apologized for his mistaken bi-denialism bad advice many, many times.
And, honestly, haven't you said or written stuff 15 years ago that you now realize was totally wrong? (Heck, back in the '80s, I was actually a Reaganite!)
Recently, his advice to bi folks is to come out of the closet, so that the public knows we're out there. According to some studies, only roughly half of bi people are out. This is a far higher percentage of closeted bi people than people who are gay or lesbian. (A big reason for this is that many bisexual people are in heterosexual relationships, and don't really see the need to come out.)
Here's Savage himself defending himself against accusations of biphobia.
I'm still not exactly sure why Savage is so villified by the trans community. I'm not trans, so I'm certainly not as sensitive to seemingly trans-phobic language. I know he's used the derogatory "T-word" on his show and in print, although in the past several years it's been in the context of the use of the word itself. (And the fact that a few trans people openly embrace the word as a means to defang and empower it-- much like the LGB community did with the word "queer" in the 1990s.) But he's had numerous trans callers, and trans activists as guests on his show over the past several years, and has always treated everyone with respect they deseerved. Or, at least it seemed so to this listener.
At this point, if anyone wants to talk more about Dan Savage, let's start another thread on the Off-Topic Discussions forum.
I never thought I'd take a position as Dan Savage's apologist...Back in the '90s and early '00s, Savage was, more or less, a bi-denialist. Since then, many bi activists have taken these out-of-date quotes and run with them, ascribing to malice what was actually ignorance. Savage has appologized multiple times for his mistaken past beliefs (and the advice that came from them) over the past several years.
While I'm kind of tired of this topic, I just have to comment this. 2008 and 2009 is NOT "early '00s".
Yes, he said biphobic b@#@+~*@ during the 90's and early 00's, and has continued to do so since. Yes, occacionally he says that "sure, bisexual people exist", just to continue with his BS afterwards.From 2008:
“I meet someone who’s 19-years-old who tells me he’s bisexual and
I’m like, ‘Yeah, right, I doubt it. I tell them come back when you’re
like 29 and we’ll see.’”
From 2009:
Basically what he's saying is that oh no we bisexuals don't want people to know the truth that most of us are either gay who claim to be bi or we're actually straight who claim to be biAnd honestly, those things said in combination with repeated saying that "I'm not biphobic, but..." makes it almost harder to believe in his apologies. If he HAD realized his previous b&$$$&&! was biphobic b~+#%@#! and honestly wanted to make amends, he'd had stopped talking about bi people as though he knew us better than we know ourselves.
It's like if Charlie Sheen would say "Yeah I know I've said some sexist stuff, but I'm not a sexist anymore, but these are the top 10 things women do that annoy me".
On the podcast, he said that they were discussing the context, history, and whether it was ever proper to use the "T-word" at the time, when one audience member asked everyone to stop that entire line of discussion because using the word made that person uncomfortable.
Yes. And when the people discussing are cis people who constantly use the T-word, and a trans person says "can you please stop using that word", you stop using that word. Like, if two white people where talking about if it's okay to say the N-word (and using the N-word) to a primarily white audience, and a black person stands up and say "can you please not use that word?" then they should shut the eff up. Because clearly, it's NOT OKAY to say that word in that circumstance, regardless of whether it might ever be okay or not. And then continuing to harass the person online afterwards is just plain abusive.
And no, he doesn't get my benefit of the doubt on that topic, as it's hardly the first time he's transphobic. Again, just like if someone said charlie sheen called her a whore, I'd take her on her word unless there was evidence of the opposite.| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Could someone PM me what the T-word is so I know to avoid it in the future?
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Hey again guys!
Yaaargh. Anxiety.
Coming out an additional... 25% in a few minutes, and I'm scared crapless. The thing is, I'm completely confident that I'll be able to say what I need to say... until the moment I walk in the counselor's door. Then, my vocal cords refuse to move on the subject on my gender identity.
I've done it before, and I'm fairly certain I can do it again, but still... it's less butterflies in my stomach than spiky, mutant electric eels with claws.
Anyways, enough griping out myself and more response to news!
@Mikaze: Good going! Seeing that helped out a lot, and gave me just a little more resolve for what's coming up. I really hope I'm not breaking some community faux pas here, but... I haven't been on the boards long, and I can't really congratulate you without knowing what kind of LGBT you are. Again, sorry if that's a bit personal or offensive.
@Leelah Alcorn: Reading that article just dropped my faith in humanity a little bit. Luckily, I live in a relatively progressive Colorado (yay!) so I won't have to worry about that kind of stuff, but still... that's kind of scary. I mean, when I come out and start getting gender therapy, I know I'm going to get lots of flak, but I hope it doesn't get that bad. Yeeesh.
Considering how I'm kind of new to this community, again I'm sorry if anything I said sounds offensive-and remember, fight trolls with rainbows.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Just want to wish everyone an happy 2015, whatever your religion, beliefs,skin color, political views or sexuality is.
Cause you know, we're all humans.
Could someone PM me what the T-word is so I know to avoid it in the future?
While the international community may complain about Russia's politics, the fact remains that no one is giving any kind of serious repercussions for things like the anti-gay laws, trying to re-conquer Ukraine, what Haladir just posted, etc.
I think that's even more depressing than whatever BS Russia pulls. The lack of interest in making a meaningful effort in changing things for the better just because it is inconvenient.
|
Assistant Software Developer
|
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
So some minor good news. Nerd Fitness just informed me that they added a transgender area to their boards for collaboration and commiseration. If losing weight is on your list of things that you wanted to do this year, I think this might be a good and somewhat fun way to go through it. They have gamified everything and it seems pretty great but I'm just starting it now.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Good, in-depth article with advice for parents of trans kids.
These parents — including an ordained Catholic deacon in Florida and a former Southern Baptist in Missouri — offered advice to other parents in their shoes. One such piece of advice came from Debi Jackson, the former Southern Baptist, who still identifies as a conservative guided by her Christian faith.
“I would just tell them to look at the statistics,” she said bluntly.
As a Christian, it irritates me how much of "us" seem to get the message so horribly wrong.
God created you, you are who you are. Gay, trans, cis...
I love all of you and wish you the best.
<3
I dearly wish more folks close to me took this approach to faith rather than the "afraid of everything" one.
I'm not a big fan of what Hal Lindsey has encouraged my family...
Honestly, believing in a God who loves instead of fearing a God who hates probably saved my life.
:)
And yet more depressing news from Russia.
That is both more and less horrific than it sounds.
Russia banned numerical ranges on their disorder classification list. It is not really a targeted attack on the LGBT community. But they did this to this to address their road safety issue. Which the amount of ignorance about their road safety issue, about mental disorders, and the compiling of that list is truly staggering.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I don't know if Russia generally uses the DSM, but I would suppose so. If they do, it sounds like it's a blanket ban for all sorts of psychiatric disorders. Which is a dick move of colossal proportions.
And just to clarify: While sexual preferences and gender identity are not psychiatric disorders, gender dysphoria and various paraphilias that make a person suffer (such as inability to function sexually without a fetish object, for example), are.
Bipolar disorder doesn't. Manic episode of bipolar disorder does. Some do, most do not.
Hence the fight against sex ed, hmmmm?
The idea that parents should be allowed to choose what their kids are taught is a far from ludicrous one. It is unfortunate though that parents who block any form of sex ed often leave their kids in a situation though were they get caught with their pants down when real world sexuality occurs.
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
There are hints that the upcoming Rat Queens issue, Rat Queens Special: Braga #1, will deal with a topic of much interest to this group. Must. not. spoil. it. further.
(And really, if you're hanging out on an RPG messageboard, you should already be reading Rat Queens anyway.)
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
There are hints that the upcoming Rat Queens issue, Rat Queens Special: Braga #1, will deal with a topic of much interest to this group. Must. not. spoil. it. further.
(And really, if you're hanging out on an RPG messageboard, you should already be reading Rat Queens anyway.)
I'm so looking forward to that one-shot special, and then after that I'm just about dancing because of Stjepan Sejic coming on as their new artist.
|
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I'm so looking forward to that one-shot special, and then after that I'm just about dancing because of Stjepan Sejic coming on as their new artist.There are hints that the upcoming Rat Queens issue, Rat Queens Special: Braga #1, will deal with a topic of much interest to this group. Must. not. spoil. it. further.
(And really, if you're hanging out on an RPG messageboard, you should already be reading Rat Queens anyway.)
Where have I heard that name before...
*googles*
SUNSTONE!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I'm so looking forward to that one-shot special, and then after that I'm just about dancing because of Stjepan Sejic coming on as their new artist.There are hints that the upcoming Rat Queens issue, Rat Queens Special: Braga #1, will deal with a topic of much interest to this group. Must. not. spoil. it. further.
(And really, if you're hanging out on an RPG messageboard, you should already be reading Rat Queens anyway.)
Where have I heard that name before...
*googles*
SUNSTONE!
Precisely.
He's also done work for Image before, with Witchblade being where I first came across his work. He's also doing his own comic 'Death Vigil', and apparently he's working on a 'teen witchblade' spinoff comic. I have no idea how he manages to sleep with that workload. :D
And that's not mentioning his own epic fantasy Ravine. You can read the first issue for free on his deviantart page. (And Rat Queens writer Kurtis J Wiebe is pretty darn busy too, if you check his credits.)
Hence the fight against sex ed, hmmmm?The idea that parents should be allowed to choose what their kids are taught is a far from ludicrous one.
Honestly, I kind of think it is. Kids are people, not possessions, and I think it's kind of ludicrous how much power parents are given and how much focus is put on "the rights of parents to rule over their children".
I think the current attitude of children being the property of their parents is both ludicrous and dangerous and one of the primary sources of today's psychological crisis among kids and young adults (combined of course with the increasing exploitation and dropping safety of working class kids)
I don't know if Russia generally uses the DSM, but I would suppose so. If they do, it sounds like it's a blanket ban for all sorts of psychiatric disorders. Which is a dick move of colossal proportions.
And just to clarify: While sexual preferences and gender identity are not psychiatric disorders, gender dysphoria and various paraphilias that make a person suffer (such as inability to function sexually without a fetish object, for example), are.
I believe Russia still treats non-standard sexual preference and gender identity as psychiatric disorders.
Not that it really matters, neither those or any actual sexual psychiatric disorders (or many other psychiatric disorders for that matter) are likely to have any effects on driving.
I think the result of this would be that fewer would come forward with problems they may have. This isn't specifically an orientation or preference thing, but for those who might have depression (something that many can hide very well) or other disorders, they may feel that they shouldn't reveal it in order that they don't lose their license...which can be a bad thing overall on society.
AS for parents...I PERSONALLY think that parents should be able to have some say over their children before the age of at least 15 to 16, and normally up to the age of 18. Some can tell what they feel prior to those ages...but in many instances, since they are still developing, they are not able to differentiate between peer pressure and their own feelings. Even worse, some may realize their true feelings...but not know how to deal with them in a wise manner.
The problem I think some have with parental responsibility, is when parents are not supportive of their children and hamper the child's development rather than promote their health and wellness as well as their maturing psyche.
I don't know the answer to that, as there are many parents that are not supportive of their children (and this isn't just an LGBT issue, it's one that goes into many different issues and problems) and hamper instead of nurture. I think some voice of maturity is still needed to guide children however (as at the younger ages, even if one knows one self, many times they don't yet have the wisdom or experience to make wise choices in regards to that knowledge) whether it's a teacher or another. One hopes that would be parents.
When that fails though...and as happens far too often when parents don't really help their child and instead hamper them...I don't know what the solution to help is...or even how to tell in time if that is the situation that is occurring or not. I think this is a problem that has been around for a LOOONG time (and as I stated, it extends FAR beyond LGBT rights into the realms of what children want to focus on in school, what they want to do as interests, and many other aspects) and I don't think anyone has come to a really viable solution to it in all that time.