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Well, when someone mistakes your gender and you don't correct it it is a passive deception(you are letting someone believe something about you that isn't true), and given how disturbingly important gender is to some people(even though, as you said, it isn't any of their business) it falls under the lie of omission umbrella.
One slight difference (sometimes) between being trans* and being gay though is that often to reveal you're gay you have to actively say or do something where as when you are trans* depending on how you express yourself you may not have a choice for each individual situation.
For example, if I put on my dress, heels and makeup it doesn't matter as much throughout the day and the situations I am in if I mention being trans*, I could be placed in danger just because of the way I look, the choice leans a bit more towards decisions at the beginning of the day then what I choose as things happen during the day. Sometimes you can't make the decision on the fly as easily between expressing yourself and being safe.
Awww, I love hugs.
Awwww =)
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Hmmm, I am facing an interesting dilemma these days. ** spoiler omitted **...
We all compromise bits of ourselves every day. It's part of living in a complex society, and you shouldn't feel guilty for doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe and comfortable. You're not lying to yourself or anyone else if you decide not to transition.
Transitioning can be painful and dangerous, and it will vary a lot depending on where you live, but I can tell you right now that things are considerably safer now than they were just 15 years ago. If the only barrier to you living as a woman is fear of violence, then there are steps you can take to make yourself safer, from self-defense classes and less-than-lethal weaponry to knowing what areas of your hometown are safe and staying with a group to minimize the chances of a confrontation. All women have to take these things into consideration, but trans people do especially once we're out to the world.
That being said, surgery, living fulltime as a woman, and doing nothing are not your only options. You can take testosterone blockers to help provide you piece of mind, and add low doses of estrogen supplements to that as well, which will feminize your body in ways that might help alleviate some dysphoria without creating changes the wider world would notice (softening skin, lightening body hair, increased skin sensitivity). I've known several trans women who, for professional or family reason, were women at home, but dressed as men for work or when they otherwise left the house. I found a lot of relief back before I could transition just having some online spaces where I could be me without being judged or criticized based on my appearance, and later on (before I could go fulltime) I found a few small places I could go as a girl without getting the stinkeye and I knew were safe (hurray Sacred Grounds Coffee Shop in Tampa!), which would give me a few hours to collect myself and recharge before having to go back to the act.
And remember, you don't have to rush into any decision, and any decision you make isn't permanent. You could start transitioning, decide it's too much too fast, and ease off. You could just stay on testosterone blockers for ten years and find your own balance, and transition in the future when things are easier. It's up to you, and it's a very flexible process.
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You're not lying to yourself or anyone else if you decide not to transition.
It's nice to hear this.
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Hmmm, I am facing an interesting dilemma these days. ** spoiler omitted **...Much good advice.
Seconding everything Crystal says.
Also, another *hug*.
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Yuugasa,
It is not any other person's business what you decide to do; except as you allow. This is entirely something for you to decide with the support of your spouse. It seems to me to be rude beyond all reasonableness for anybody else to attack your decision process or to insult you for not thinking the way they think. You are the one that has to live with the results of your actions, so thumbs up to you for wanting to put a lot of thought into the decision.
And big hugs. There are never enough hugs.
As it turns out, legal gay marriage might lower the divorce rate.
There's also some other interesting data in there.
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Yuugasa, please do not feel like others must tell you what to do. How you deal with your gender identity, and how you feel in your body, is what is important. Not what others think.
If others don't like it? Tell them to go insult an orc berserker and skip in circles around them. It's what I do.
Yuugasa, first thing's first. *Big near-bear hug!*
Secondly, you gotta do what you gotta do girl. My fiance and I are living in a total BS situation with my grandmother and great-uncle (Damn economy!). My uncle's one of those "women should be reviled and hated because they're weak, minorities are vile and evil things, anyone who flaps their hand or has a high voice is a fag" kind of motherf~$*ers I would be doing the world a service by putting 6 feet in the ground. (Also has the bigger-batter-better-worse syndrome. Does everything you have ever done fifty times better, but is more pathetic and should be pitied and you should do everything he tells you to without question.)
In case anyone missed it, I'm bi and genderfluid (before Marvel's Loki made it cool, hump ). My fiance's also half-mexican.
Every day I have to put on the mask and deal with that thing. Just to avoid the hassle of him calling the cops, since he's got a cop buddy, was ex-marines, and can really turn on the waterworks when he wants to. Nevermind the fact he's actually come after me in an attempt to get me to hit him before.
So, yeah. You do what you gotta do to keep you and yours safe. Aint no one got the damn right to fault you for it. And if they do, you just point me at 'em and I'll rough 'em up for ya. ~_^
Thanks for the support everyone=)
I think when it comes to the conventional wisdom of "Be yourself, don't care what others think!" I am of two minds.
It is the conventional wisdom for a reason, and that is because it is right on most levels. When it comes to caring about what other people think of you from the point of view of having it influence what you think of yourself? Never. That way lies madness and it's nonsense anyway because noone will ever know you better than you know yourself. And a strong sense of self is worth more than almost anything else in the world from the point of view of having some decent influence over how you feel and what direction your life takes.
But from the point of view of not caring what other people think of you in relation to interacting with them in the big wide world? Not sure how wise that is. There have been a huge number of people throughout history who were minding their own business, assuming (correctly) that they weren't doing anything wrong, and then were savagely murdered by a person(s) who didn't like whatever slight difference about them made them stand out.
To bring it down to a less dramatic level, take for instance my situation: boiling it down to its most simplistic level I basically have two ways I am looking at for presenting myself to the world; as a man or as a woman.
As a white(ish) male I am easily accepted almost everywhere, almost all doors are open to me(or at least not slammed in my face), there is no glass ceiling, lost job opportunities, I am easily accepted into any social based old boys clubs just by having a wiener etc.
As a transwoman one of two things happen in any given situation: either I am passing or I am not. Not passing, even when ignoring the potential for violence, can do a good job of "other"ing me depending on where I find myself, which can lead to anything as innocuous as the speculative look or the stink eye up to losing big opportunities because people are uncomfortable around me.
Passing, while the preferred outcome, still leaves me being treated like a woman and all the BS that entails (won't get into that though, a lot of people feel we live in a post-sexist world and get pissed when I imply maybe we don't, so I'll leave off that =D)
I dunno, even though there are many options for me in both degrees of transitioning and the time I choose to do it in that is the base line concept I struggle with.
So that's basically how I feel about it. Let other peoples opinions define what I think of myself? No way.
Take into account how people may treat me based on what they think of me and how it can effect my life? Yes, yes I do.
In a perfect world we could all just be ourselves without unfair issues with others, but that world is not this world, and I don't have the courage to just casually give this world the finger and get on with it.
If the above random rant seems...random... that's cause it is, just kinda the companion rant to the first rant...
I've just been ranting a lot recently, I'm doing a lot of thinking about(and a bit of struggling with)concepts of social identity and what my priorities are at this point in my life.
While my life has been far from smooth or easy I've had a pretty good idea of what I am doing most of my adult life, now I've hit a point where I am not sure what exactly it is I want to be doing, it is interesting.
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Hi, so, I have a friend Raine who is non-gender-binary and has unfortunately suffered some severely infected teeth, and doesn't have any dental insurance. He (his expressed pronoun preference) has regular health insurance, which will cover giving him antibiotics any time the infection spreads out of his teeth, but no one but a dentist will touch the teeth themselves, and they want thousands of dollars up front.
So, he's in tremendous danger of imminent death, due to the risk of the infection spreading to his brain or other vital organs. In the so-called 'greatest country in the world'. Where poor people die from toothaches, apparently.
Some people in our social circle have suggested going to the media but his non-standard sexual and gender identification makes him think that's a bad idea. Arizona's a very conservative place and the media are likely to shy away from something like that for fear of being pilloried by the social conservatives.
So, the only thing he can do is basically beg. Here's his Gofundme campaign.
If you don't want to or can't do anything about it, you don't have to -- you don't know this person from Adam, but if you care to, anything could help.
Is there a dental school in the area? They often will perform the pulling free of charge because it's something that the students actually have to practice doing. I work in a pharmacy and I see prescriptions from dental schools often. I also have an old friend who has gone in to have several teeth pulled at no charge.
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I think when it comes to the conventional wisdom of "Be yourself, don't care what others think!" I am of two minds.
** spoiler omitted **...
In this case, you are very wise to ignore the populist message of "do what you want and screw what anyone else thinks." Transitioning can be a strange balancing act between personal fulfillment and personal safety. Violence isn't omnipresent(especially if you're white or white-passing), but transitioning will still have far-reaching impacts on your family life, friendships, and career. And I won't say it isn't worth it (but then, I'm biased), but it's good to approach it with a careful strategy and eyes wide open. Definitely care about what other people think, because people want to agree with the group, and if you come out the the most accepting and/or socially powerful people around you first, their support will help get people on the fence to back you as well.
And transition doesn't need to be limited to an "either I transition or I don't" scenario. There are many half-steps you can take, from living more androgynously to splitting your home and career lives into two separate people. It's also unlikely you will either always pass or never pass. Every trans person gets read/doesn't pass for cis sometimes, and even some cis people are read as trans once in a while; It can be scary, but nine times out ten its just uncomfortable or embarrassing. Once in a while people even have a positive reaction.
Passing, while the preferred outcome, still leaves me being treated like a woman and all the BS that entails (won't get into that though, a lot of people feel we live in a post-sexist world and get pissed when I imply maybe we don't, so I'll leave off that =D)
Yeah, ask any trans woman if we live in a post-sexism world f you want an honest answer. It's better or worse depending on where you live, your career, your social circles, ect, but it's definitely still there. That said, dealing with sexism has still been easier for me than the stress I experienced pre-transition. YMMV, but don't let fear keep you from something you need (if transition is something you need).
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I've been pretty busy with end of semester stuff of late, otherwise, Yuugasa, I'd post a longer reply to your posts, sorry. (I will when I get the chance, maybe later this week.) But I would say, with regards to the difficulties of being out and transitioning as a trans woman, yes, they are definitely there, but personally, I've found being out, having my friends know who I am, and being on hormones have all made me more capable of dealing with those issues. In other words, I feel like my ability to deal with hardships (small or large) have increased because my inner foundation is more complete if that makes any sense.
On the other hand, since I've come out and started transitioning, I've had a relatively smooth (but not trouble free) path compared to many trans people, and compared to many trans people of color in particular. Your own situation might be different. On the other other hand, that's partly because of doing things like making sure I was living in a good community to transition in, making sure I was working in a job where my employer was likely to be accepting, etc. On the other other other hand, not everyone has the opportunity to position themselves the way I did.
In the end, you're the person who can best figure out what path you should take.
Something you might do is think about transition not only in the short term (as in, "I have to start now.") but also in the long term. If now is not the right time, maybe later will be, and in the meantime, you can continue to educate yourself on the issues involved and how best to navigate them.
And transition doesn't need to be limited to an "either I transition or I don't" scenario. There are many half-steps you can take, from living more androgynously...
I sort of did something like this in the last 4 or 5 months before I was publicly out and in my new identity (as in asking people to use my new name, etc.) Basically, I started cycling women's clothing into my wardrobe. Nothing too directly gendered (e.g. skirts), more like women's jeans and tees and the like. By the time I came out to my students (last big group I needed to come out to before being myself publicly), I hadn't worn any male clothing in about a month. So it was less of telling people, "Starting tomorrow, I'll be dressed like a woman," and more of telling them, "And by the way, from now on, please call me etc. and use these pronouns, thanks."
Thanks for the responses, it is definitely helpful=)
While living androgynously is kinda what I have been accidentally doing for most of my life I think the one big thing that makes me shy away from living at home as a woman and presenting elsewhere as a man idea is that I have a really hard time compartmentalizing things. I know me and I am totally gonna forgot how I am presenting at some point and fall into a classic "Mrs. Doubtfire" situation(you know, that ludicrous scene where he tries to go to dinner with both his boss and his family and accidentally sits down with his boss as Mrs. Doubtfire at one point), also, just in general, I personally find the idea of me living as two separate people kinda depressing.
I won't say I have a need to transition, as being transgender does not cause me any real internal suffering, but it is something I would like to do for many reasons.
For me being trans is more of a trippy and confusing experience than one of suffering. One of the ways I have taken to explaining it to people recently is to have them imagine that when they wake up tomorrow somehow they have ended up in the body of another gender. Not necessarily a horrifying experience(depending on how you think you would react to that, you might even think it's fun!)but just, whatever else you may feel, an innately confusing experience as you are expecting your body to be certain ways it just isn't.
Looking back through my life I find it kinda interesting that alot of how I handle things in relation to the disparity between the female self my brain is constantly telling me I am and the male body I walk around in depends on how awake and energetic I am.
When I am wide awake and high functioning the disparity effects me little and usually I don't even notice it but the more tired and drowsy I am the more confused I sometimes get, my brain defaulting into assuming I'm only a woman and I sometimes get startled when something reminds me of my male body.
I recently had a surgery that was pretty minor but required me to be put under and when I was waking up out of the anesthesia one of the things I (basically drunkenly) asked my wife was along the lines of "What the hell did they do to me in there baby? Why am I a man?!"
Trying to contain her laughter at my outrage, she just teased me(as is her way) by telling me "Don't worry, the surgery was taking too long and I was lonely so I had them put you in a spare male body that looked kinda like you they had lying around so you could keep me company until it is over and they can put you back."
Apparently I thought that made sense and was mollified.
So yeah, I won't suffer if I don't transition but I think it would make things feel more natural and make sense.
You're welcome. And, sorry, but that surgery bit was pretty damn funny, lol. And one reason I'll never drink xD.
Still, glad you've got that part figured out. Like has been said. Take your time and do what you gotta do for you and yours. Wish ya luck buddy.
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Alright i'm new here and my (user)name is Tarinia Faynrik. I finally decided to create an account and stop piggy backing on my Fiance Artemis Moonstar because of this thread. I hope to start popping up more around if what i'm about to say wont get me hated.
I want to understand something about this. I can usually relate to anything but the one thing i have a hard time relating to is Trans. I think its cause i dont understand it.
Why does it matter so much what your body is? I mean how you look and what gender your body is doesn't change who you are. Maybe i cant relate because of how i was raised.
My father wanted a son and treated and raised me as such. I am a female of course. Due to that i get along more with guys then girls. So maybe i have a hard time seeing how gender of my body really matters.
The other thing i think that makes it difficult is my grandfather. He lost a limb in the war yet that didn't change who he was. So i think i kind of see it as well like losing a limb. I know that probably sounds bad but i think its just how my mind rationalizes it.
If you lose a limb does it change who you are. It changes how you look how your treated and go about things. Yet your still you and tho its difficult who you are is who you are despite what your body is or has or hasn't.
I just want to understand why does it matter what body your in? Does it change who you are on the inside? I think that is where i might be having the disconnect and i was hoping someone can explain to me. So i can understand why even trans?
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*reasonable questions and commentary*
For some people that would be considered transgendered, there's in fact not a major need for external adjustments though you're generally less likely to hear about those individuals because they aren't as obvious in their specific needs.
It don't really talk about this sort of thing much. I sit on the sidelines in most gender discussions and just listen, observe, and sometimes toss out some commentary or point out something I think is filled with bad logic or is unjust (which has perhaps resulted in some ironic estimates of myself by others since I'm not vocal about my situation, but that's fine because I don't believe my sex or gender should have any bearing on the value of my thoughts).
Just last night I spoke with a close friend about this very same thing (which has led me to make this post this morning). I laughed a bit as when I mentioned it must have been awkward for my mother when I asked her if I prayed hard enough would God turn me into a girl. An innocuous question at the age I suppose but it'd be a hard question to answer to a child at bedtime. Commented that looking back, I remember lying in bed at night thinking about being a beautiful woman when I grew up (gotta love being a little kid, huh? :P). Sometime later as I got older I think I realized it wasn't going to happen, though it only mean wishing all the more fervently. I remember hating getting facial hair (which is funny 'cause I'm told I look best with it, especially by another friend of mine who's undergoing hormonal therapy for much the same thing).
Suffice to say that this is the first time I've mentioned this on these boards (even when sitting and reading a number of the LGBT threads) and I do so only to note that some exist where you might least expect, though for various reasons we haven't really even been trying to pass or transition. Crystal's commentary was nice to hear because it can be weird being transgendered but not being transgendered in the sense of social and community aspects and even I must admit it felt good to feel a little less distant at that moment. Anyway, I'm just rambling now. ^~^"
However, for other people it's naturally very strange. When everything about who you are feels disconnected with what you appear to be it can be troubling. It many cases it can feel like you're locked out of your house. You can see where you need to be but it just feels barred off from you. So close yet so distant. Some may feel like they're living a lie which is never something you want to feel. Some may feel like it can make expressing their needs and interests more difficult or even impossible. For many it is all of the above and more.
And you're 100% right. It's not so much that it prevents you from being a whole person because the quality of your soul is not measured by the protein based shell you're wearing. However, if your grandfather could have his arm back, wouldn't he want a fully functioning arm? I think that most people would. However, our medical advancement hasn't reached that point but we might be able to rig up a prosthetic that looks and feels real and gives him some of his function back. I think that's how it is for some. Something feels like it's missing and it would be nice to have a means of putting it back where it belongs. :)
Hopefully that might help. I hope it wasn't too vague and I hope I did a decent job in the conversation. I really don't talk about these things often so I can't say I've had a lot of practice. ^~^"
One of the things that can be the most difficult to understand, is that other people are not us.
Indeed. Some might say this basic understanding lies at the crossroads of peace and war.
One of the things that can be the most difficult to understand, is that other people are not us.
Depending on your spiritual beliefs, the next most difficult thing may be understanding that they are. :P
(Note: This is not a disagreement, rather a reference to certain unity-based concepts of consciousness)
Why does it matter so much what your body is? I mean how you look and what gender your body is doesn't change who you are. Maybe i cant relate because of how i was raised.
It's often a comfort issue. It can be incredibly uncomfortable to look in a mirror and see a face reflecting back that you know, on some level, is not your's... even if it's the face you were born with.
One can learn to live with the face in the mirror. Some people learn to not like mirrors because they don't like the reflection. Some people are simply not bothered by it. And some people seek to correct the face in the mirror.
One of the things that can be the most difficult to understand, is that other people are not us.Depending on your spiritual beliefs, the next most difficult thing may be understanding that they are. :P
(Note: This is not a disagreement, rather a reference to certain unity-based concepts of consciousness)
Then they meet someone like me and learn they're wrong :P
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A bunch of stuff...
I just want to understand why does it matter what body your in? Does it change who you are on the inside? I think that is where i might be having the disconnect and i was hoping someone can explain to me. So i can understand why even trans?
Nothing about being trans changes who you are. It's a core part of the therapy. Now, you do often become more confident, eventually. And because of social the social constraints people put on gender, there may be some parts that you felt you needed to hide to survive before and then again after, though personally I feel that's a mistake both ways. Ultimately, you are still you, always. Being trans just means you are making that more genuine. I'm not sure it's much different from having a missing body part. Much of the time, you wish it was there, and if you could do something about it, you probably would to be fully functioning again. That's not a completely inaccurate position for transperson. It is difficult to explain partly because it is all bound up in society, our views of social constructs, biological needs, and brain chemistry.
In essence, it's not so much, "something I want" as it's "something is wrong" and the difficult part is finding out what that wrongness is and if there is anything we can do to fix it.
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Why does it matter so much what your body is? I mean how you look and what gender your body is doesn't change who you are. Maybe i cant relate because of how i was raised.
You've asked the same question every trans person spends years asking themselves. If you're looking for a strictly scientific explanation, there isn't one yet. There's some research that suggests what we associate with "gender" is based on certain structures in the brain that tend to align with other things we consider sex characteristics, but take that with a grain of salt because in some circle's it's a hair's breadth from that to "girls are just worse at math and science because of their brains." There's other research that suggests trans folk have a mutation in the hormone receptors that play a critical role in fetal development.
For me, the per-transition experience wasn't really one of horror (most of the time), but discomfort. Like my skin was stretched too tight across my body, and there was this weird, unsettling smell all the time, and sometimes my emotions would just switch on to the most awful, counter-intuitive reactions. It felt like wearing clothes that were too tight, or going to a job you hated, except you never got to take them off/go home; there was just that constant, nagging feeling or wrongness.
The long and the short version is: It exists, and like sexual orientation it doesn't really go away (though some people's genders, like some people's sexuality, is more plastic than others). If you can't understand it, then that probably means you're not trans.
My father wanted a son and treated and raised me as such. I am a female of course. Due to that i get along more with guys then girls. So maybe i have a hard time seeing how gender of my body really matters.
Then maybe you do understand. My father also wanted a son and treated and raised me as such. I am a female, though, and have understood that fact since I was about four. I get along well with boys and have a lot of male-coded interests (roleplaying games, comics, mechanics, history), but none of those things make me any less of a woman than they do for any other woman, any more than your father raising you as a boy made you less of a woman.
The other thing i think that makes it difficult is my grandfather. He lost a limb in the war yet that didn't change who he was. So i think i kind of see it as well like losing a limb. I know that probably sounds bad but i think its just how my mind rationalizes it.
If you lose a limb does it change who you are. It changes how you look how your treated and go about things. Yet your still you and tho its difficult who you are is who you are despite what your body is or has or hasn't.
Like Lissa said above, transitioning doesn't make you a different person, either. The process just makes you more comfortable with yourself and with society. If you're trying to compare amputation to gender confirming surgeries themselves, they are wholly different things, both socially and medically. A transgender person doesn't need to have any surgery, and exists as a trans person even before they begin transitioning; any surgeries are just one small step on a complex process. Even the surgeries themselves are about cutting anything off so much as reshaping what's there. The penis and the vagina are built from the same basic structures that get differentiated during fetal development; gender-confirming surgeries just reshape and reposition those structures the same way mother nature does.
I just want to understand why does it matter what body your in? Does it change who you are on the inside? I think that is where i might be having the disconnect and i was hoping someone can explain to me. So i can understand why even trans?
The whole point with trans people is that we ARE a certain person on the inside, and nothing can change that. The process of transition isn't one of transforming from one sex to another, so much as it's removing a lot of unnecessary and traumatic social and biological garbage that hurts and restricts who we've always been.
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I was Ninja'd as my fiance likes to say since i spent awhile writing my last message even tho it was short.
Tho the person who ninjad answered inadvertandly some of the other questions that i had. So I actually understand alot more then i did in my last message.
I thank everyone again for their replies and responses. It was very helpful and let me see and look at things differently then how i was.
I appreciate it and i hope one day things will be easier for everyone. I always believe that if more people could accept even if they dont understand the world would be a better place.
I always believe that if more people could accept even if they dont understand the world would be a better place.
Some of my friends, and I think one family member have been like that - accepting without yet understanding (or without fully understanding, at least). It's certainly better than not accepting because you're not understanding.
Lissa and Crystal covered things very well, and I'd second or third what they've said. (Edit to add: And some good comments by Ashiel too.) If you do have more questions, this can be a good place to ask them (provided they're not outright insulting).
Thanks for taking the time to try and understand.
Terquem, I found the story you referenced. To add to the angering side of it, some of the news media are refusing to use the woman's name or gender correctly, instead identifying her by birth name and gender.
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If you do have more questions, this can be a good place to ask them (provided they're not outright insulting).
And for the questions that are, you can always PM me. :P
If you do have more questions, this can be a good place to ask them (provided they're not outright insulting).And for the questions that are, you can always PM me. :P
I think i will take you up on that offer Ashiel later. I sometimes worry that my questions could come across as insulting when i dont mean them to be. So later when i can think a bit clearer you might see a pm from me.
You definantly seem very awesome
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I for example don't intend to transition. I don't think all the testosterone blockers and all the estrogen supplements in the world would be able to go the distance in my case (I'm about 6'2, large frame, and upstaged only by wookies in terms of hair)
Hun, I'm 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. with broad shoulders and hands wide enough to pick up basketballs, and I turned out hot even by conventional standards. Don't let being a big girl make you think you can't look or feel good.
LOVE THE HAIR! Glasses add awesomeness to it. *Weak spot for goth-type chicks in glasses*.
If I ran into you on the street, I'd never even have the thought of "She was a dude!" cross my mind.
Then again, I live in California, and our women out here are typically built like trees. So, yeah, no. Ashiel, don't think being a big girl's gonna give you issues.
Though now I'm having vanity self esteem issues. I'll be over here crouched in the dark corner for a moment. Having one of my 'moods' I get sometimes.
*distracts self by homebrewing some artifacts*
Also, if Tarinia seems blunt.. She is a very blunt woman.
Edit: Suppose I should clarify. Most of her life it was either being told nothing, or being upfront and blunt about it. Tactful, most times. Pussyfooting elegant dancing around the bush? Not so much.
I for example don't intend to transition. I don't think all the testosterone blockers and all the estrogen supplements in the world would be able to go the distance in my case (I'm about 6'2, large frame, and upstaged only by wookies in terms of hair)Hun, I'm 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. with broad shoulders and hands wide enough to pick up basketballs, and I turned out hot even by conventional standards. Don't let being a big girl make you think you can't look or feel good.
I love how you dyed your hair!
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I for example don't intend to transition. I don't think all the testosterone blockers and all the estrogen supplements in the world would be able to go the distance in my case (I'm about 6'2, large frame, and upstaged only by wookies in terms of hair)Hun, I'm 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. with broad shoulders and hands wide enough to pick up basketballs, and I turned out hot even by conventional standards. Don't let being a big girl make you think you can't look or feel good.
Mrooowwl.
I for example don't intend to transition. I don't think all the testosterone blockers and all the estrogen supplements in the world would be able to go the distance in my case (I'm about 6'2, large frame, and upstaged only by wookies in terms of hair)Hun, I'm 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. with broad shoulders and hands wide enough to pick up basketballs, and I turned out hot even by conventional standards. Don't let being a big girl make you think you can't look or feel good.
You look good. I like the glasses.
Also i think i'm just hungry but those cupcakes look good. What was the occasion?
You know what I meant! :p
If you do have more questions, this can be a good place to ask them (provided they're not outright insulting).And for the questions that are, you can always PM me. :PI think i will take you up on that offer Ashiel later. I sometimes worry that my questions could come across as insulting when i dont mean them to be. So later when i can think a bit clearer you might see a pm from me.
You definantly seem very awesome
You can PM me as well.
You know what I meant! :pI know, but it was SO not the compliment you thought it was, so I tried to defuse the situation with humor.
You can probably blame my 10+ years of not really having a social life for my poor social skills. Potential mental strangeness via having an 'odd' way of viewing the world might also be a contributing factor.
Case in point: Crass as it apparently came off, 'twas meant as a compliment.
If anyone got potentially offended, apology cookies at my stand in the back. Single file please.
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I for example don't intend to transition. I don't think all the testosterone blockers and all the estrogen supplements in the world would be able to go the distance in my case (I'm about 6'2, large frame, and upstaged only by wookies in terms of hair)Hun, I'm 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. with broad shoulders and hands wide enough to pick up basketballs, and I turned out hot even by conventional standards. Don't let being a big girl make you think you can't look or feel good.
Looking great, Crystal! Especially the hair!
Edit to add: And Ashiel, you might be surprised at what the right hormones can do, given enough time. I don't look anywhere near as amazing as Crystal, but in a little under two years, I've gotten to a place where I'm satisfied with how I look for the first time in my life.