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Roll a d12:
1. Giant poop worms. Like rot grubs but they don’t kill you so easy. The worms burrow into the PC’s flesh, reproduce, then send thousands of progeny out each end of the character’s digestive tract. If this happens in front of NPCs then get an Infamous trait with that group.
2. Gold coins. Why would the giant eat gold coins? 1D of cache.
3. A knife. And bloody poop! Ha ha, dumb giant pooped out a knife. Is the knife magic? On a 1-3 roll on the “what’s with this sword” chart, on a 4 it’s proof against acid, on a 5-8 then no – it’s not magic.
4. A humanoid skull. Bury it for a reputation 1D Friend of spirits
5. A living troll arm, it makes half-hearted attacks. (I love this.) Only fire can destroy it.
6. A perfectly intact head sized egg. (it was planted here by something else)
7. Poop eating giant centipede. Agility test or your probing arm gets bitten. Yes you get an armor roll. Learn that you don’t push your arm into the poop, you dork. If you said “Oh yeah I was wearing my armor!” then you have poop all over your armor too.
8. A bunch of springy worms. Each worm’s belly contains a pearl-like gem (value, properties to be determined by GM).
9. Seeds. Are they magic? Are they giant? Are they just giant tomato seeds?
10. A giant’s tooth. This giant got beat up in a fight and swallowed his own tooth. 1 in 6 that it has a silver filling or is gold or whatever.
11. An idol! Geerwyn the Unfortunate. This poor idol has the worst things happen to it and it’s possessors, but it also gives them help in getting out of these situations. While carrying Geerwyn, any random thing that can happen to the possessor does, the more bizarre the better. But, Geerwyn will Help the possessor out of these same situations with +1 or +2 Advantage dice, depending. Geerwyn will also halve random damage from the bad stuff he causes, trading off injury for shame – rather than a B10 burn from the irate fire toad, the character will receive b5 but will have his beard burned off. Bearing Geerwyn automatically gives the holder a 1D “pathetic bumbler” trait.
12. Roll again twice!
.
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14. 2d6 clear crystal spheres about 1cm in diameter. Now, how
did those get in here?
15. The wishbone of a great bird whose nefarious habit of taking
chances took it one step too far. If the PC’s each hold one end and pull
to break it, maybe one of their wishes will come true. There’s only one way to find out.
16. A plastic zip-lock baggy. Contents (roll d6) :
...... 1. A 30 year old Van Halen ticket;
...... 2. 3 copper pieces and 1 silver piece;
...... 3. A human hand;
...... 4. A piece of paper with a clue to a mysterious treasure;
............................. 5. A half-eaten sandwich;
............................. 6. A sewing kit with silk thread and a whale bone needle stuck into a cork.
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Why? Why, I beg you, why? *scrubs eyes and brain with steel wool and Drano).
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18: a TRS-80 computer and all cables.
(however, it's doubtful anyone other than a wizard understands electricity
and digital logic. But, if a wizard in the group does get it up and working
then she'll have to know BASIC.)
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Anyone who has to go through a giant's turd for treasure Must, Must, MUST be in a low treasure game. And I really hope it's in a really big out house!
20: Coal turned to a small diamond (constipation so bad the coal turned into the gem! ewwww!
Edit: variants of the d12? or d100?
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30. Ebola in vial.
I approve of this thread!
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32. A length of rope threaded between a number of evenly spaced spheres, each about the size of a baseball (depending on the size of the giant)
33. The mangled skeleton of a goblin
34. Several mushrooms growing in the dung. If ingested, roll d%:
01-50: They taste disgusting (DC 12 Fort save to avoid filth fever)
51-70: Eater must make a DC 20 Fort save or lose 1d6 Con to poison
71-85: As above but eater Confused for 1d100 minutes on a failed save
86-98: Eater is under the effects of an Enlarge spell for 1d4 hours
99-00: Eater affected by Giant Form spell for 1d4 hours
35. A magic scroll (or other item) that makes the dung come to life, sing, and throw pieces of itself for 1d2 bludgeoning damage.
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36: A slight calcium deficiency.
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37. A living, physically unharmed, but heavily traumatized humanoid inside a resilient sphere.
38. The wrecked remains of an ornithopter.
39. The wrecked remains of a massive extraterrestrial invasion fleet which, due to a severe miscalculation in size, came to this planet only to fly into a giant's mouth.
40. 1d4 pockets of Essential Nightsoil, dung so potent that it can fertilize a league of land if mixed with water. If used as a material component in a Summon Nature's Ally spell, the resulting summon will have the plant type, maximum hit dice, and will be of Colossal size. Mixing with an Enlarge potion before use as a summoning reagent will give a 25% chance to additionally apply the Kaiju template.
41. A poop ooze. And it's hungry, and not for poop.
42. Poisonous gas cloud
43. Diarrhea. The entire area counts as difficult terrain.
This is really disgusting.
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44. 3d6 diminutive otyughs.
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46. A highly damaged note starting with "Day 2 inside the giant...."
47. A lamp. A simple gold lamp. If the pc's rub the lamb there is a 10% chance of a helpful genie appearing and providing 1 wish. A 30% chance of the lamb being sursed and a 60% chance of nothing happening.
49. A remarkably burly dryad child who was spontaneously born from the interaction of ambient magic and fertilizer with a windblown seed. Her sapling is growing rapidly but is still small enough to be transplanted. If left where she is she will grow to be an unwitting terror to the area, with levels in barbarian. If taken elsewhere she will grow according to how she is socialized, but will remain at least slightly more physically impressive than others of her kind...of course, if one keeps her tree fed with the fertilizer that got her started...
50. An invoice detailing a list of the previous 49 items.
Nope, just misfiled.
13. Polydaptive cordycep spores, resultant from internal mixing of potions from several adventurers consumed with an alchemist and some yellow musk creeper. If not purged with fire (and resulting in a truly nightmarish stench), a rapid spread of fungal creatures will commence.
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52. A very, very, VERY angry succubus.
53. The only thing that might prove more disgusting than the locale being searched - a distressingly lifelike construct made in the likeness of an individual of indeterminate race and generally pleasing aesthetic. Depending on how far it is extracted from its horrid burial, one can figure out that it has a panel hidden in the small of its back,with all manners of adjustable dials...which will adjust the appearance of age, race, features, and even gender. This will also reveal the exact, awkward,uncomfortable purpose of the construct, based on the details of the anatomical accuracy.
In theory, it could be cleaned and resold, perhaps even returned to the owner if they were not one of the giant's victims. There's a good chance the approach would require the utmost of discretion.
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Why? Why, I beg you, why? *scrubs eyes and brain with steel wool and Drano).
54. DungeonmasterCal. Good thing he wears that diving helmet!
6. A perfectly intact head sized egg. (it was planted here by something else)
55. A ball of yarn.
56. +5 cloak of charisma(part of the poor choices collection)
57. +5 Headband of Intellect(also of the poor choices collection)
58. +5 Belt of Strength(guess)
1. Giant poop worms. Like rot grubs but they don’t kill you so easy. The worms burrow into the PC’s flesh, reproduce, then send thousands of progeny out each end of the character’s digestive tract. If this happens in front of NPCs then get an Infamous trait with that group.
Oooo, gastrointestinal versions of Eunice aphroditois!
59. Or instead of worms, dire mantis shrimp, who are very very cranky after their colonic misadventures.
8. A bunch of springy worms. Each worm’s belly contains a pearl-like gem (value, properties to be determined by GM).
9. Seeds. Are they magic? Are they giant? Are they just giant tomato seeds?
60. Jumping beans gallstones. Shattering the stones (assuming the PCs can catch one) reveals immature E. aphroditois worms (see above), or sticking closer to the original, larva of gloomwings or even mothmen.
I would feel much worse about poor Navi being trapped in the giant's guts, but I don't because of how annoying she was.
17: Enough corn for 1 days worth of rations if desperate enough.
61. As 17, but candycorn, and: If the giant is asked -- or speak with dead is cast upon the giant('s head) -- it seems surprised as it has never eaten candycorn.
(You don't want to know where pumpkin spice flavoring or circus peanuts come from either.)
63. Golden pieces of eggshells. Solid gold eggs just don't make biological sense.
64.Ring of protection, +1AC
65.A standard holy avenger sword. The previous owner wasn't a paladin so the +2 sword obviously wasn't that much help.
66.Gloves of dexterity +5. (again, of the poor choices collection)
67.Bottle labeled potion of super heroism. 2 doses of delusion potion remain.
68.Headband of inspired wisdom +4
69.Belt of mighty constitution +4
70. What appears to be a Helm of Teleportation with a skull in it. It's cursed to always cause a mishap. Roll on the mishap table every time the user tries to use it.