During The Haunting of Harrowstone, our Cleric was using "romantic diplomacy" against a Town Council Lady, and the rest of the party had to interrupt with pressing matters.
On Roll20, player types "What DC do I roll against to Cock Block?"
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Ah an immovable rod in it's throat, very distracting and good use of it, also keeps you from ending up in stomach if you can hold on.
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Last session, the party was fighting a dire ape. The sorcerer cast shocking grasp on the ape.
While the player of the sorcerer was gathering 5 six-siders, one of the other players tapped on his iPhone, and started playing "Shock the Monkey" by Peter Gabriel.
Last session, the party was fighting a dire ape. The sorcerer cast shocking grasp on the ape.
While the player of the sorcerer was gathering 5 six-siders, one of the other players tapped on his iPhone, and started playing "Shock the Monkey" by Peter Gabriel.
*gigglesnort* Amusing!
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A while ago, I was playing in a modern-day GURPS:Espionage game. (The game was set present-day, which at the time was 1997.)
The PCs were agents undercover at a swanky Christmas party in New York. My character had the Advantage "Enhanced Perception", and heard suppressed automatic weapons fire in the next room. Unfortunately, he also had the Disadvantage "Weirdness Magnet."
With his hand inside his dinner jacket on the handle of his machine pistol, my agent turned to move into the next room.
And was blocked by a mime.
The mime had been milling around the party as entertainment, but he started the "stuck behind a glass wall" routine, and wouldn't let my character pass.
I declared, "I pull out my gun and crack him across the face with it."
The GM said, "Wait. What?"
Me: "I pistol-whip the mime."
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Ah, Weirdness Magnet. That was a bizarre trait. The SJGames forum had Jessica Fletcher (Murder She Wrote) listed as having Weirdness Magnet (murders). :)
I want that trait. It sounds like fun!
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Weirdness Magnet is a great disadvantage. It allows both the GM and the player to be extremely creative. In the right campaign, it's pure gold.
The example in the rulebook is amazing: "If the only talking dog in the world needed someone to complain to, he'd choose you."
Every time that PC was in a bar, the same TV repairman and part-time inventor would chat up that PC and talk about his latest crazy invention: a device that can see into alternate dimensions. I played the scene four or five times, each time totally for laughs. Every time, he asked the PC for help securing a weird piece of techno-babble.
The last time he saw the inventor was decidedly not for laughs.
As that PC was staking out at building where the (completely unrelated) bad guys were, he sees the same crazy TV repairman/inventor running up the street toward him, screaming.
"It worked, but it's all wrong! Monsters! I saw monsters! And they saw me! Help! They're... GAAAAAARGHHH!" I described a black tentacle suddenly appearing out of thin air, wrapping around the inventor's arm. Seven more tentacles likewise appeared, wrapping them around the inventor, pulling him into... nowhere! As his head disappeared, his scream suddenly cut out as if he wasn't there any more. The inventor's flailing limbs appeared and disappeared into nothing, as if pulled into and through folds between the three dimensions of space, loops of tentacles roiling out and back into the folds. His face, covered in blood, briefly appeared and his scream abruptly sounded and disappeared, and finally a torrent of red blood shot out of nowhere, arced through thin air, and disappeared before splattering on the pavement. And then... silence. As if nothing had happened.
That scene totally freaked out the players.
I want that trait. It sounds like fun!You want Weirdness Magnet: Murder? Liranys, you worry me sometimes.
No, not the Weirdness Magnet: Murder, Just Weirdness Magnet.
;)
Man, sometimes I wish I could get proper emoticons on here.
If I hadn't finished the traits for the PCs in my One shot for the Con already, I would totally give one of them Weirdness Magnet... lol
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If I hadn't finished the traits for the PCs in my One shot for the Con already, I would totally give one of them Weirdness Magnet... lol;)
Man, sometimes I wish I could get proper emoticons on here.
Hrmmm. Perhaps you have weirdness magnet and don't realize it. I keep commenting on your posts. (Gives strange stink-eye look.)
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Oh, In real life I definitely have the weirdness magnet. All of my friends are weird!
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No fair. I have the religious nut magnet. Almost all of my ex girlfriends are either in the ministry now or were always devout Catholics while I've always been an irreverent nonbeliever. They keep crawling out of the woodworks and trying to fix me.
Edit: YESSS! Post 666 and I'm b!&&*ing about religion!
No fair. I have the religious nut magnet. Almost all of my ex girlfriends are either in the ministry now or were always devout Catholics while I've always been an irreverent nonbeliever. They keep crawling out of the woodworks and trying to fix me.
Edit: YESSS! Post 666 and I'm b*&&%ing about religion!
That sounds more like you have a type as opposed to you're a religious nut magnet.
You want a magnet, I'm a jail bait magnet. Practically every girl I've met online that was similarly interested in me eventually admitted to me that they were under the age of consent in whatever place they lived in.
Well at least you're all some kind of magnets, I tend to repel lol.
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Well at least you're all some kind of magnets, I tend to repel lol.
Can I get an amen?
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Well at least you're all some kind of magnets, I tend to repel lol.
Yeah but if I fail to pay attention or don't ask for an age I potentially end up on dateline.
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I can't say it's a type thing since 4 of them literally threw themselves at me. No really, I had to catch them or let them crash to the floor at one point. We became friends, I went off to do other things for a while, I came back, wound up catching a flying girl that suddenly wanted to date. It was quite an ego boost to have young women throwing themselves at you; until I figured out that at least 3 of them were crazy* (which probably explains the throwing themselves at me part).
And my wife is definitely not the religious type. I just had to get past the ones throwing themselves at me.
*Edit: for anybody that might be upset because they think I'm making fun of people with mental disorders; no. I have confirmation that all three are now receiving proper treatment and medication; and I am now friends again with two of them since they're medication lets them control their conditions. That's how I know that they were actually crazy; they finally got treatment.
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I can't say it's a type thing since 4 of them literally threw themselves at me. No really, I had to catch them or let them crash to the floor at one point. We became friends, I went off to do other things for a while, I came back, wound up catching a flying girl that suddenly wanted to date. It was quite an ego boost to have young women throwing themselves at you; until I figured out that at least 3 of them were crazy* (which probably explains the throwing themselves at me part).
And my wife is definitely not the religious type. I just had to get past the ones throwing themselves at me.
*Edit: for anybody that might be upset because they think I'm making fun of people with mental disorders; no. I have confirmation that all three are now receiving proper treatment and medication; and I am now friends again with two of them since they're medication lets them control their conditions. That's how I know that they were actually crazy; they finally got treatment.
Hmm... methinks your children will have some very interesting stories to hear one day.
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Yesterday in our Pathfinder game:
The oracle had done a 'holy smite', but unfortunately one of the PCs who wasn't good-aligned happened to be within the smiting area.
Oracle's player: "You take three points of damage."
Other player: "Ow! I'm dead."
Oracle's player: "Seriously?!"
Third player: "He had a pre-existing condition. It wasn't covered by his insurance."
(This was probably much funnier to me and the oracle's player than to anyone else. I work for an insurance company, and the oracle's player works for a healthcare organization.)
A couple of sessions ago the party's alchemist was caught in a 'magic jar' effect, and we have yet to figure out how to free him. Just after this unfortunate even occurred to the alchemist, we acquired a 'corspe carrying bag', which magically preserves corpses.
After we finished fighting several shadow demons yesterday, our GM announced, "The shadow demons could do 'magic jar' once a day."
Player: "Now I'm imagining the entire party in the corpse carrying bag and the halfling slowly dragging all our bodies back home!"
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Campaign where the DM was really into niggling details like rations. Co-DM was his GF, who was also a PC (dont get me started) and a horse expert.
So we had GREAT horses, but we had to provide grain, mash, etc for them. Sure we had iron rations, but we didnt bring that stuff. Thus, horses not happy.
We see a castle on the hill. I ask "Do you think they will have grain and stuff for our horses?"
"Of course!"
"Ok- Yonder lies the castle of me fodder!"
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Playing a race which could shift into a dog. Went and scouted the enemy camp in dog form. But I could only change once a day.
Came back to camp, was about to tell them what I found, then the DM reminds me "You cant speak in that form'. ooops
So I said "Bark, bark, bark!".
One of the other players said "What is it girl, did Timmy fall in the well?"
Our dwarf paladin is unconscious, on fire, and dying. It's just not his day. My Oracle is trying to reach him to put him out and heal him.
"I'm approaching the flaming dwarf...which, by the way, is also a really excellent pub..."
I heal him with a crit success.
GM: That was well done!
Me: Really? I think he was medium rare, at most.
He retained the name "the Flaming Dwarf" for the rest of the session, and possibly will for the rest of the campaign.
In my next work of Pathfinder fiction, I'm hoping to use the Flaming Dwarf pub - its sign would have to be a ginger dwarf with stylized flames for his hair and beard.
Funny that you aren't the only one to have a funny story about a flaming dying dwarf.
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From about half an hour ago at my weekly Pathfinder game...
"I pour acid on the cute little monkeys."
(The party was fighting a monkey swarm.)
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We were playing Fantasy Hero (Hero System) in the default world heavily modified by our over-active-imagination GM. (College friend of mine) The campaign lasted almost 4 years.
For a Christmas treat one year, our 'battle scene of the weekend' was coming upon a group of 'bad guys' that outnumbered us 2 to 1, and were trying to capture an old, powerful warrior with a white beard, Red and silver armor, and using ice magic. (Yes, it was Santa, although he got VERY upset when my crazy mage called him that) :)
The battle started out badly for us, and we had to scatter to prevent the baddies from ganging up on us and swiftly killing us 1 by 1. In a desperate move our giant (on his way to becoming our cleric, played by my dad) managed to pick up a bad guy, and throw him. The Hero rules allowed him to throw the guy clear across the battlefield, where it landed at the feet of the Swashbuckler. (played by another college friend of mine)
The Swashbuckler promptly pokes the guy with his sword. Without waiting to hear the actual result of the damage, the Swashbuckler cries in my friend's best 'Zorro the Gay Blade' voice. "Throw me another one! THIS one is dead!" (Presence attack in Hero System)
The GM announces that they ALL failed their Will Saves, and the battle quickly turned into a rout. Years later we still respond "Throw me another one! THIS one is dead!" to any one-shot or critical hit.
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Set the wayback machine even farther back, when my college friends and I first started playing HERO system (Superheroes) together.
Playing teenage superheroes, and I am basing mine off of OLD Teen Titans comics, when ALL of the teen heroes were Robin-style punsters and jokers.
We were playing through a weekend, and the puns are flying, and I make one. A BAD one. Dead Silence.
More Silence.
"TWANG" shouts the archer/Green Arrow/Speedy PC's Player.
Me- "What was that?"
Archer- "the Anti-Pun Arrow!"
Again, to this day, (Over 25 years later) If I start making puns, (And I do!) TWANG is the immediate response, from everyone. ;P
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Our party consists of a ranger who loves stealing things
A bard who refuses to use his perform skill
A Sorcerer who never tells the truth
And an Orc barbarian who was mistakenly written as being 4 foot 7 on his character sheet.
We had just gotten into a fight with a group because our orc barbarian Bravos had gotten bored of the talky business.
So fight cut short we killed several of their guards and had to run before their reinforcements came. Unfortunately we ran into them later on in the game and they accused us of attacking them.
Bard: This is a case of mistaken identity, you must have met a different midget barbarian
Bravos: Bravos no attack anyone, you must have met brother "BROVOS"
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New party member, a Barbarian, has a tattoo of Icarus on his shoulder. When questioned about it's significance, he answers in perfect Brock F-ing Sampson voice:
"What's the matter? You don't like bards?"
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Playing a race which could shift into a dog. Went and scouted the enemy camp in dog form. But I could only change once a day.
Came back to camp, was about to tell them what I found, then the DM reminds me "You cant speak in that form'. ooops
So I said "Bark, bark, bark!".
One of the other players said "What is it girl, did Timmy fall in the well?"
I Chase Him. I Bite Him. Bad Man. He Tasty. Good Boy. Good Boy Peach.
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New party member, a Barbarian, has a tattoo of Icarus on his shoulder. When questioned about it's significance, he answers in perfect Brock F-ing Sampson voice:
"What's the matter? You don't like bards?"
Jock rock my ass, just listen to those LYRICS, man, it's all about LOVE and LONGING and... hobbits.
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Well at least you're all some kind of magnets, I tend to repel lol.
You can still be a magnet, your polarity is just reversed. XD
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During 5-01 Glass River Rescue:
GM: So, what are you going to tell the Razmirans who ask you what you're doing?
Player 1: Maybe a trade mission?
Player 2: So we're merchanaries?
Player 3: How about religious pilgrimage?
Player 2: So we're killgrims?
PFS - Always taking the murderhobo reputation to the extreme.
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I was running a 1st edition game for some friends, most of whom were still in high school, and we had just started an adventure in the old Dragonlance setting. The party came around a high hillside along a road and was looking for a place to camp. The encounter went something like this;
Me: You search the areas near the road along the cliff face and spot a dark depression into the hillside.
Player one: Cool, that looks useful.
Player two: What is it?
Me: You can't see it well from where you are yet.
Player three: Its a cave you twit. Come on everybody lets move over there before it gets dark.
Player two: Yeah, but what's it for?
At which point everybody turns to player two and just stares at him.
Me: It's a cave, dude. A hole in the ground.
Player two: Yeah but what do you do with a hole?
Player four: If you haven't figured out what to do with a hole at your age there's no hope for you.
At this point the game breaks down in teenage giggles.
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Me: Wait, I'm not there, I'm alive!
I had been left on another planet with personal business when something urgent came up, and of our a!#%%*!s blew up the party and Luke Skywalker with a concussion missile
Were you getting drunk?
While diving to a sunken ship, I suddenly started playing the Underwater theme from Super Mario Bros.
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John wakes up wearing naught but his skivvies, hands and legs bound by ropes. It's already dark, and he's at a bus stop, on a corner with a cafe and a pawn shop. John inches towards the pawn shop, and calls out a greeting. The door is opened by a middle-aged woman, who regards him cautiously, and has already grabbed her baseball bat just in case.
"I would like to sell these ropes."
John wakes up wearing naught but his skivvies, hands and legs bound by ropes. It's already dark, and he's at a bus stop, on a corner with a cafe and a pawn shop. John inches towards the pawn shop, and calls out a greeting. The door is opened by a middle-aged woman, who regards him cautiously, and has already grabbed her baseball bat just in case.
"I would like to sell these ropes."
We have a dwarf in one of the games I play at that does s#*+ like that on a regular basis. He also has a robe of infinite twine.
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"This is nothing the heart of an orphan couldn't fix."
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Our party has entered a room that we had to access by swimming through a submerged passageway and climbing up a flight of steps. The room is occupied by a couple of large zombies. The GM describes a horrible stench in the room, then asks for Fortitude saves.
The party cleric fails his save, and his player describes the character as busily losing his lunch.
Another Player: "Are the wet stairs difficult terrain?"
GM: "No."
Player: "What about the space next to the cleric?"
"This is nothing the heart of an orphan couldn't fix."That'll actually require eye of newt, too.
The life's blood of a forsaken child isn't enough for you?!
The life's blood of a forsaken child isn't enough for you?!"This is nothing the heart of an orphan couldn't fix."That'll actually require eye of newt, too.
When you bathe everyday in orphan's blood, you need more! MORE! MOOREE!
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I may have already posted this, but I can't recall if I have.
My son was 10 at the time and playing along with the grownups. The game had come to the BBEG fight, and it was nearing a pretty exciting end. At that moment his mom calls and I tell him to keep it short because we're at the climax of the game. He answers and says loudly, "Can't talk, Mom. We're climaxing!". He had no idea what the term is usually used for. There was a moment of silence on his part as we collapsed in hysterics.
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I may have already posted this, but I can't recall if I have.
My son was 10 at the time and playing along with the grownups. The game had come to the BBEG fight, and it was nearing a pretty exciting end. At that moment his mom calls and I tell him to keep it short because we're at the climax of the game. He answers and says loudly, "Can't talk, Mom. We're climaxing!". He had no idea what the term is usually used for. There was a moment of silence on his part as we collapsed in hysterics.
I'm pretty sure I would have laughed myself to death. That poor kid.