The floor is now lava. Again.
Dammit VRMH! You gotta pay those fees on time! Sheesh, what do we pay you for???
Well, -you- pay him for something called :checks records: "intimate massage services". You rascal!
I am sure a person of your head shape has never needed a head massage.
Who's idea was it to crossbreed kender and spiders in the first place? How could anyone think that anyone wanted that?
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Spider Kender
Spider Kender
His spider heart
Is warm and tender
He has to steal - he has no choice
He sings little songs in a squeaky voice.
Look Out
Here comes Spider Kender.
Vo do de oh.
I say, that is not cricket.
It's Sohcahtoa!
Pi!
Spiderkender, Spiderkender.
Don't call for him he's on a bender.
Drunk as a skunk, and twice as smelly.
But at least, he's got a hairy belly.
I prefer apple. With custard of course.
Shooting custard off William Tell's head is a bit of a challenge, let me tell you.
But it won't be a challenge nearly as difficult as getting GoatToucher to lay off on the goats for a day.
I can do so readily, if otherwise... occupied.
AAIIEEEEEE!
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Don't run! GoatToucher's vision is based on movement!
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We shall summon his Mirror Universe double, ToatGrutcher, to defeat him once and for all!
Right. That's the last time I buy demon summoning rituals from adverts in the back of 'Big 'N' Bouncy'. Not impressed.
Well, evilness is kind of relative around here. Anyway, SheepShanker won't leave his labor pit.
I was able to find CowTipper, though! You know, his slightly-less-evil twin.
No need to be rude about Mrs. Gore, Ventnor.
Because she found all those Twisted Sister and Prince records hidden away in his closet?
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No, because he never sleeps.
Always watching...
The eyes...
It is true, but what fun!
More like truth in the guise of friction! Am I right?
I thought it was Ruth in this guy from Brixton, but what do I know?
I have finally discovered a use for kender: Minotaur proctology!
They them in there with an everburning torch and have a look around to see what's what, maybe biopsy a polyp or two. This small size minimizes discomfort for the minotaur and the kenders' profound stupidit... er, fearlessness would allow them the wherewithal to really get in there without concern for their own safety.
And hygiene isn't an issue because they're disposable! The minotaur gives one good clench and has a healthy bowel movement and the kender is disposed of quickly and efficiently.
I prefer proctonomy myself. More profitable, you see, and only half the stank!
I cast Quickened Animate Butt!!!
Pooh, all I can cast is Quickened Animate Buttes.
That's why you don't specialize in cliffvocation.
Yeah I only use cliffs when a Paladin needs to fall.
After thinking it over, I've decided not to post on this thread at this time.
Welp, only thing for it is to declare myself Empress of the Proctarchy here.
So um, what in the world happened between page one and what I'm currently witnessing? Cause there's a lot of butt stuff that feels like it came out of left field....
Also, did I win the thread? Is that still a thing? I'm so confused :/
No, it's a load of field stuff that came out of my left butt.
Sissyl may be Empress, but I am the greasy M&M behind the throne, so that means that I win.
