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Scarab Sages

Ah, but "never trust a fiend with an emoticon" is an *imperative* statement, not a declarative.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Ah, but "never trust a fiend with an emoticon" is an *imperative* statement, not a declarative.

It is imperative that you follow the declaration.


The Game Hamster wrote:
The Fiend Fantastic wrote:

Just because i'm a devil by trade, doesn't mean i can't be nice.

What's up with the prejudice?

Just because I state a fact doesn't mean I'm prejudiced.

You also can't trust gnomish inventions, or set a bag of gold near a dwarf and retrieve it in a few minutes.
See? No prejudice, just cold hard facts.

Don't know why you're bothering since hamsters can't play games.

Don't have higher brain functions. Or thumbs.


Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:

Don't know why you're bothering since hamsters can't play games.

Don't have higher brain functions. Or thumbs.

I've already covered this.

The Game Hamster wrote:
I am, in fact, a Gamemaster, an ancient race of mythical beings to whom even the gods themselves are but mere playthings. Granted, I am shorter and more furry than my contemporaries, but looks can be deceiving you know.

I'm not actually a hamster, I just look like one. And I run games, therefore, I am "THE" Game Hamster.


More like The cranky hamster >.>


Is 'cranking the hamster':

A) An act even GoatToucher would blench at
B) Something that really pisses off desert-dwelling druids
C) Both of the above?


D) something I'd prefer not to think about.


Don't say his name fool!!
It's like Hast - (he who shall not be named), or Bloody Mary.


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What about Candyman? Or Biggie Smalls?


Are we playing Shag/Marry/Avoid again?


Uncle Teddy wrote:

What about Candyman? Or Biggie Smalls?

Well, of course, but it would've bogged down my post to just list every bizarre, name-stricken ghoul/god/ghost.


The Game Hamster wrote:
Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:

Don't know why you're bothering since hamsters can't play games.

Don't have higher brain functions. Or thumbs.

I've already covered this.

The Game Hamster wrote:
I am, in fact, a Gamemaster, an ancient race of mythical beings to whom even the gods themselves are but mere playthings. Granted, I am shorter and more furry than my contemporaries, but looks can be deceiving you know.
I'm not actually a hamster, I just look like one. And I run games, therefore, I am "THE" Game Hamster.

Or are you a regular hamster being manipulated by a game master into thinking he's a game master?

A "hamsterspaw" if you will?


Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:

Or are you a regular hamster being manipulated by a game master into thinking he's a game master?

A "hamsterspaw" if you will?

Maybe, maybe not. 'tis a question for the ages.


The Game Hamster wrote:
Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:

Or are you a regular hamster being manipulated by a game master into thinking he's a game master?

A "hamsterspaw" if you will?

Maybe, maybe not. 'tis a question for the ages.

Just how many turtles deep is this rabbit hole, I wonder?


Why turtles? feet are such a better system of measurement.

turtles:
It is roughly a fifteen turtle drop, into a massive squarish room approx. a hundred turtles long, and ninety turtles wide. it is lit only by various sconces along the walls in various shapes, depicting animals in various poses, set on the far end of the chamber is a small throne seated upon which lies the rat-kings skeletal remains, draped about the throne in a massive five turtle long, and six turtle wide pile.

See? It just doesn't work as well.

Scarab Sages

I don't know, that looks sensible enough to me.


Turtles all the way down. IMO


Feet haven't been standardised - why do you think shoes are in different sizes? - whereas turtles are a universal constant.


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Especially turtles that have elephants standing on their backs.


Well, since we're standardizing turtles, we need to settle on a species, in order to keep a more consistent measurement. I suggest the box turtle, whose stylish squarish shape makes them more stack-able.


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Box turtles, eh.

* takes notes and makes some calculations *

Yes, that should work. So long as you don't accidentally use snapping turtles we should be fine.


Uncle Teddy wrote:
Yes, that should work. So long as you don't accidentally use snapping turtles we should be fine.

That's simple enough. If they try to bite your thumb off, leave them be, if they hide in their shell, your good.


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Oh, that I understand. There are others, however, that do not. Though, I suppose the first or second time they lose a digit then they will.


If they are mistaking snapping turtles for box turtles, I wouldn't want them to remain in the gene pool for much longer, so I for one would hope that they lose a bit more than a few digits.


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True. I am concerned that the poor snappers might accidentally swallow whatever they bite off and become sick due to food poisoning.


Since I dislike snappers as well, that concerns me little.


Good news, everyone! I've managed to hybridize box turtles and snapping turtles!


* hits Sinister Stan with cane *

Bad, Sinister Stan, bad! We do not hybridize box turtles with other creatures. Go to your room!


No!! You've ruined the standardization process!!

Good job on scheming quieter this time though, no one saw that one coming.


We don't?

quickly turns to hide his phone with his body and texts the lab


And... That's how people end up with mutant ninja-turtles, teenage or otherwise, and we all know how well that has turned out in recent years...


Couldn't we use turtle doves instead? They're harmless, and they can fly!


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The Game Hamster wrote:
And... That's how people end up with mutant ninja-turtles, teenage or otherwise, and we all know how well that has turned out in recent years...

It depends on whether or not Michael Bay is involved.

If not, quite well.


I prefer mock turtles anyway.


Cow turtle hybrids are much worse than Michael Bay infused ninja turtles


If it gets too bad you can always drop an asteroid or two. That's what we did when the dinosaurs got out of hand.


Well, let us hope it doesn't come to that.


Don't worry. I know a couple of guys who can maybe get us a meteor if we need one.

You're all okay working with tyrannical psychic fish, right?


I work with everything. I am a Gamehamster after all.


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red fish blue fish 1 fish evil fish... no that doesn't work never mind.


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How about "one fish, two fish, red fish, doom fish"?


I eats all the Fishes.


Goblin Kid wrote:
I eats all the Fishes.

However, I. Drink. Your. Milkshake!


Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:
Goblin Kid wrote:
I eats all the Fishes.
However, I. Drink. Your. Milkshake!

BUT NOW HE CAN'T BRING ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!!!!


I doubt he ever could bring them to the yard.


He could drag them to the yard in chains, if he had a bit of help.


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Are you offering?


Pulg is always willing to extend a hairy-palmed hand to a friend in need.


The Goblin Deity of Kicks in the 'ead thanks da hairy long-shanks
*goes into closet, grabs a bunch of chains out of it*


*squeak!*

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