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Matt Damon!!!! Dang that puppet. Now he's got me doing it.
Let's not do that.
MATT DAAAAAAAMOOOOOOON!!!!!!!111
Mhat Daymon?
*nodnodnods*
MATT DAMON!!!
Now you've done it.
...
It's Pat?!
Matt Damon...?
Golden god for the win.
Ha! I am on fire and I win.
Ah you set me on fire too jerk.
Shazam!
SOCK!!!
Down you go, foul villain.
THUMP! I banish you, evil vaguely-Aztec-looking something-or-other.
I win!
THWACK!! I call the pound. I win :)
I'm throwing fireballs and I win.
You sprung a 2nd edition trap. Save or die!
Get a tan, you hippie.
No, I'm quite a nice ebon shade already. You may want to lay of the spray tanner though.
YAAR, it be time fer me ta claim me booty!
MATT DAMON!!!
Yummie Matt Damon tasty.
*is made of wood, silly*
MATT DAMON!!!! MATT DAMON!!!
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What do you mean you skipped out of the audition? I worked my tail feathers off just to get Schumacher to see you and you blew it off? For what? Oh, oh...just because someone calls you up asking if you want some blow doesn't mean you have to go. You're still on the hook for Garner in your trunk. No, I can't just get Bieber pee at the drop of a hat! *sigh* Look, how about Pearl Harbor 2: The Reckoning? Michael Bay just wants to test out some explosives on you. You've kept up with your SAG dues, right?
Matt Damon...
Look, it's either you blow up or you get sent to prison for a very long time.
No, that's Citizen Kane 2. As for Garner and Bieber, ask the puppet. I'm gonna wash my hands of all of this.
MATT DAMON!!!
*slams its head into the table, then does it again*
...Matt Damon.
Look, the charges were dropped so you can't use those photos against me. I can't help someone who doesn't want the help. You clearly like being strung-out all day and surrounded by hookers. What do you mean you want to go "skiing in Northern California"? Is that code for something? *pause* You want to get high, don't you?
...Matt Damon.
I don't care about the pretty colors you see when you rub vaseline mixed with gasoline all over your body. You've got problems, you dig? What? No! Just because you've slept with the same hooker on 15 different occasions doesn't mean she's clean. How about you go get us a couple of drinks and we'll talk this out? I want a Piña Colada.
Drrrrrrrinkkkks...
Matt Damon.
No, I don't want a Matt Damon. Turpentine and club soda is not a drink.
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Good call. Matt's got the first round.