Dryads may count on it as well. ;)
You're one of those ancient treants who have a symbiotic relationship with dryads? Cos I have a legion of black dragons, and another of red dragons.
Even if you manage to find my dungeon lair, without the secret pass phrase needed to unlock my magical warts
Eewww, gross!
you are powerless to free Seoni from her extradimensional prison.
Does the words "No shackles can hold me, nothing can bar my way." ring a bell?
And don't bother trying to discover the secret pass phrase. Doing that would require something like 250 people keeping an eye out for secret clues hidden in the conference rooms of a Seattle-area hotel over the course of three whole days.
Guess where the UA put up at.
Has no one rescued my favored? I hear she's quite...profuse with her thanks.
No, I think that was you. I remember: You kept forcing hapless peasants to "abduct" you and tricked strapping young idiot knights (wasn't there an order of those around? No, wait, I always confuse that: All knightly orders are like that!) into rescuing you.
How many actually survived you thanking them? At length? In a number of ways. Some anatomically quite impossible without the use of magic?
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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The efforts of the Paizo community to rally an army and rescue Seoni, while noble, are also futile. Even if you manage to find my dungeon lair, without the secret pass phrase needed to unlock my magical wards, you are powerless to free Seoni from her extradimensional prison.
And don't bother trying to discover the secret pass phrase. Doing that would require something like 250 people keeping an eye out for secret clues hidden in the conference rooms of a Seattle-area hotel over the course of three whole days.
Unless Some Unspecified Event occurs to bring so many people together at just such a place, there is nothing you can do to save Paizo's beloved sorceress.
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAH!
Epic Meepo
My guess is it's: opeem cipe (pronounced: Oh-Peem-Ci-Pee).
What is this? Me and the UA slaughtered over a hundred kobolds and dwarves - for some, we had to really go out of our way, I don't mind telling you! They were hiding and had conceiled their weapons so masterfully that we never found them! - and all that, and defeated some souped-up kobold who hid out behind a big-ass studded door, only to find - no seoni. Instead, a lame liddle mushroom guy was there. "Thank you, Kae, but the sorceress is in another dungeon."
By the way, mushroom guys are great. It's like meat and shroom all at once. Ideal meal. You can filet him up and dice the rest for the cream sauce.
Kidnap 'em all if you like. I'm only signed on for one quest this weekThis ain't wow. If you want to make it in this world, you gotta take the quests as they come.
It's not a WOW thing. It's "Short Attention Span in the Face of Real Life" thing. Besides, I'm new to this whole "Champion of Justice" thing. I'll admit that I never thought those mushroom guys would be so useful as rations. I wonder if they go good with Swiss?
Well, sorry I was gone. Any progress? I mean, besides the Runelord of Lust trying to get herself "abducted" again.
No, I think that was you. I remember: You kept forcing hapless peasants to "abduct" you and tricked strapping young idiot knights (wasn't there an order of those around? No, wait, I always confuse that: All knightly orders are like that!) into rescuing you.
How many actually survived you thanking them? At length? In a number of ways. Some anatomically quite impossible without the use of magic?
Oh, you silly. They were all quite willing, I assure you. Sadly, some of them expired before they could thank me properly - I hope their remains were delivered to you in time.
Seems like I've got a rather unfocused army here. Perhaps negotiation is in order.
To all concerned,
Epic Meepo and his threat has been dealt with. Seoni says to tell you that she will return to work just as soon as she has rewarded me properly for my efforts. Unfortunately this may take several days, after which we will be too exhusted to move from whatever horizontal surface we happen to be on. Thank you for your understanding during this period
Sincerly, Poetry.
To all concerned,
Epic Meepo and his threat has been dealt with. Seoni says to tell you that she will return to work just as soon as she has rewarded me properly for my efforts. Unfortunately this may take several days, after which we will be too exhusted to move from whatever vertical surface we happen to be on. Thank you for your understanding during this period
Sincerly, Poetry.
Well, glad that's cleared up. On to other projects.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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To all concerned,
Epic Meepo and his threat has been dealt with. Seoni says to tell you that she will return to work just as soon as she has rewarded me properly for my efforts. Unfortunately this may take several days, after which we will be too exhusted to move from whatever vertical surface we happen to be on. Thank you for your understanding during this period
Sincerly, Poetry.
Vertical surface? I so want to see that.
Director of Brand Strategy
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Vertical surface? I so want to see that.To all concerned,
Epic Meepo and his threat has been dealt with. Seoni says to tell you that she will return to work just as soon as she has rewarded me properly for my efforts. Unfortunately this may take several days, after which we will be too exhusted to move from whatever vertical surface we happen to be on. Thank you for your understanding during this period
Sincerly, Poetry.
I want to see half of it. The Assassin half I can do without. As to logistics, perhaps a levitate spell is involved?
When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
You... you @#$%ing monster!
Well, so far, this is just talk about an alleged abduction.
We need some proofs !
Maybe a picture of Seoni kept prisoner, in chains, in a dark dungeon would convince us...
:P
The efforts of the Paizo community to rally an army and rescue Seoni, while noble, are also futile. Even if you manage to find my dungeon lair, without the secret pass phrase needed to unlock my magical wards, you are powerless to free Seoni from her extradimensional prison.
And don't bother trying to discover the secret pass phrase. Doing that would require something like 250 people keeping an eye out for secret clues hidden in the conference rooms of a Seattle-area hotel over the course of three whole days.
Unless Some Unspecified Event occurs to bring so many people together at just such a place, there is nothing you can do to save Paizo's beloved sorceress.
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAH!
That is unless someone uses the Ungarded Ventilation shafts. I understand the turnstile within is only 2p.
(Sorry. I've been waiting to use this reference for a while, well at least since this thread started. I wonder if anyone'll get it.)
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When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
that is an evil act
but most aceptable after Mr Meepo heinous crimes of war...we will lend the pincushions for the eyelashes not to be closed
Well, so far, this is just talk about an alleged abduction.
We need some proofs !Maybe a picture of Seoni kept prisoner, in chains, in a dark dungeon would convince us...
:P
You have a point. So far we only have the word of a heinous criminal mastermind (Epic Meepo) and a nefarious killer-for-hire (the Assassin) on this. I'd hate to think I'd been running all over the place hunting for a damsel-in-distress when she was actually hiding in an extradimensional space the whole time, out with the flu or something . . . .
When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
that is an evil act
but most aceptable after Mr Meepo heinous crimes of war...we will lend the pincushions for the eyelashes not to be closed
I'll bring the Barney tapes and the Knight Rider DVDs for the second round!
I'll bring the Barney tapes and the Knight Rider DVDs for the second round!When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
that is an evil act
but most aceptable after Mr Meepo heinous crimes of war...we will lend the pincushions for the eyelashes not to be closed
And the complete run of Star Trek: Enterprise?
And the complete run of Star Trek: Enterprise?I'll bring the Barney tapes and the Knight Rider DVDs for the second round!When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
that is an evil act
but most aceptable after Mr Meepo heinous crimes of war...we will lend the pincushions for the eyelashes not to be closed
I was thinking Star Trek: Nemesis instead.
You have a point. So far we only have the word of a heinous criminal mastermind (Epic Meepo) and a nefarious killer-for-hire (the Assassin) on this. I'd hate to think I'd been running all over the place hunting for a damsel-in-distress when she was actually hiding in an extradimensional space the whole time, out with the flu or something . . . .Well, so far, this is just talk about an alleged abduction.
We need some proofs !Maybe a picture of Seoni kept prisoner, in chains, in a dark dungeon would convince us...
:P
I resent the implication that I'm a killer for hire. I kill for pleasure, the money is just an added perk. Dont let the red skin and small horns fool you. Inside I'm a very good girl, as Seoni can attest to. As a Slayer of Domiel, I could be no less.
I resent the implication that I'm a killer for hire. I kill for pleasure, the money is just an added perk. Dont let the red skin and small horns fool you. Inside I'm a very good girl, as Seoni can attest to. As a Slayer of Domiel, I could be no less.
She's not bad... She's just drawn like that... ;)
I resent the implication that I'm a killer for hire. I kill for pleasure, the money is just an added perk. Dont let the red skin and small horns fool you. Inside I'm a very good girl, as Seoni can attest to. As a Slayer of Domiel, I could be no less.You have a point. So far we only have the word of a heinous criminal mastermind (Epic Meepo) and a nefarious killer-for-hire (the Assassin) on this. I'd hate to think I'd been running all over the place hunting for a damsel-in-distress when she was actually hiding in an extradimensional space the whole time, out with the flu or something . . . .Well, so far, this is just talk about an alleged abduction.
We need some proofs !Maybe a picture of Seoni kept prisoner, in chains, in a dark dungeon would convince us...
:P
I apologize for the defamation of character. Still, do you have evidence that you rescued Seoni? For all we know, this was all a mad plot!
I apologize for the defamation of character. Still, do you have evidence that you rescued Seoni? For all we know, this was all a mad plot!I resent the implication that I'm a killer for hire. I kill for pleasure, the money is just an added perk. Dont let the red skin and small horns fool you. Inside I'm a very good girl, as Seoni can attest to. As a Slayer of Domiel, I could be no less.You have a point. So far we only have the word of a heinous criminal mastermind (Epic Meepo) and a nefarious killer-for-hire (the Assassin) on this. I'd hate to think I'd been running all over the place hunting for a damsel-in-distress when she was actually hiding in an extradimensional space the whole time, out with the flu or something . . . .Well, so far, this is just talk about an alleged abduction.
We need some proofs !Maybe a picture of Seoni kept prisoner, in chains, in a dark dungeon would convince us...
:P
Just wait for next month's issue of Sorceresses Gone Wild. It will have all the proof you need.
Just wait for next month's issue of Sorceresses Gone Wild. It will have all the proof you need.
I knew I shouldn't have let my subscription lapse! Curses!
Oh, you silly. They were all quite willing, I assure you. Sadly, some of them expired before they could thank me properly - I hope their remains were delivered to you in time.No, I think that was you. I remember: You kept forcing hapless peasants to "abduct" you and tricked strapping young idiot knights (wasn't there an order of those around? No, wait, I always confuse that: All knightly orders are like that!) into rescuing you.
How many actually survived you thanking them? At length? In a number of ways. Some anatomically quite impossible without the use of magic?
Yeah, I got several packages of withered, formerly good-looking men (and some women) with broken pelvises and a fatally wide grin on their faces. On their toe was always some note saying: "Bug Report: Broke down after 36 hours. Stronger bone structure and more resilient flesh required for the next version. What was nature thinking??"
I assumed they came from you.
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I assumed they came from you.
You *did* get my care package! ^_^
I resent the implication that I'm a killer for hire.
Yeah. Just going by the name. I'll have to introduce you to a friend of mine, Peter File, who can tell you about that.
As a Slayer of Domiel
Who is this Domiel, and why did you slay him?
It's not a WOW thing. It's "Short Attention Span in the Face of Real Life" thing.
There's Real Life involved? Can't be wow after all.
I'll admit that I never thought those mushroom guys would be so useful as rations. I wonder if they go good with Swiss?
It's an acquired taste. I tried it once and didn't like it, though others swear by it.
Though I have to admit that the Swiss in question drank a lot, so he probably wasn't kosher.
I tried shroomer with Italian once, and that was a lot better.
I mean, besides the Runelord of Lust trying to get herself "abducted" again.
Try to get herself abducted? Did I miss anything? She does this on purpose?
Now that you mention it, I did find it odd that the evil balor demon that abducted her looked like a little bunny rabbit, didn't fight back and didn't revert to his true form after I killed him, but she assured me he was quite the trickster.
Well, gotta go now, she's done negotiating with the guy from the motel where she brought me to, as she said: "thank me properly". I would have accepted her sincere "thank you very much" and a handshake on the spot, but she said she had something else in mind.
She was asking about weekly rates. Silly place, they want to be paid by the hour.
When Mr. Meepo is at last captured and brought to justice, I can think of only one suitable punishment for such a heinous crime.
Uwe Boll movies. ALL of them.
No-one deserves that! NO-ONE!
S
e
o
n
i
She was asking about weekly rates. Silly place, they want to be paid by the hour.Hourly rates!?
Yeah. For some ineffable reason, some motels rent out their rooms on an hourly basis. I have no idea why someone would need a room for only an hour or two, but they seem to be doing okay.
Maybe they need a quiet place to scribe a scroll or brew a potion of less than 250 gp?
So Sorshen wants to thank me by scribbling a thanksgiving spell for me?
So Sorshen wants to thank me by scribbling a thanksgiving spell for me?
Maybe they need a quiet place to scribe a scroll or brew a potion of less than 250 gp?
Probably read something like:
blatherblatherblatherblahblahblahrutabagarutabagarutabagayakkitysmakityyakk itysmakityyakkitysmakityyakkitysmakity
is my guess. ^_^
I prefer:
"Dear Kae Yoss,
I memorized Explosive Runes this morning.
Kind Regards,
Xuttah"
It's much better on account of the 'splosions. :)
That one's been trademarked by an elven wizard of indeterminate gender and by a kobold. Symbol of Death is much more elegant.
Clearly you have not developed a refined taste for 'splosions. We're talking Michael Bay levels of 'Splosions here! Maximized, Empowered, Searing Explosive Runes!
What you have failed to realize is that I'm a fan of SoD magic. And if we skip that whole annoying 'save' thing, so much the better. As I've told the wizards in our group, it doesn't matter if the enemy has 1 hp or 1000hp, he can still deal out the same amount of damage either way. So even with Michael Bay-sized explosions, I'm still not a fan.
YAR! I be coming for ya Seoni!!!
If'n ye don't let her go, I'll breathe on ye!
(check profile for Grumble Grog in his level 20 playtest form)
When I get out of this accursed gem, I'm totally going to -
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What you have failed to realize is that I'm a fan of SoD magic. And if we skip that whole annoying 'save' thing, so much the better. As I've told the wizards in our group, it doesn't matter if the enemy has 1 hp or 1000hp, he can still deal out the same amount of damage either way. So even with Michael Bay-sized explosions, I'm still not a fan.
Yeah...but...'Splosions! I guess it's a kobold thing...
When I get out of this accursed gem, I'm totally going to -That's enough talking from you, Seoni. Just enough so that the Paizo community knows I really have you.
You see, Paizonians, my plan is much more insidious than everyone has thought. I haven't taken Seoni's body hostage. I have taken her immortal soul hostage.
I am counting on the fact that the vast majority of Seoni fanboys are only interested in her body, and will loose interest in searching for her once they find that I am willing to surrender that empty shell without a fight.
Wait? You left her body and just took her soul?
OK, I'm fine. Uh... I guess we want her soul back? Guys? Anyone particular about that? I could go either way on the whole soul thing. I guess I can volunteer some ravenous[DCv1] ghouls and giant robot bears to that cause, but I mean I don't need to spend resources on it unless it's absolutely necessary.
You may want to tell the monkeys and the badgers, and anything else with a pulse, really, to stay away from the ravenous ghouls. Since it's just her trapped soul, the ghouls will leave it alone if they find it.
I prefer:
"Dear Kae Yoss,
I memorized Explosive Runes this morning.
Kind Regards,
Xuttah"
It's much better on account of the 'splosions. :)
There's a funny word on there, can you read that for me?
Can anywone tell me what a "Symbol of Horny" spell means? Is that how tieflings are made? How they get their horns?
I'll have to introduce you to a friend of mine, Peter File.
Sounds like a friend of Lorena Bobbett(sp?).