Angel of Violence walks up to the bar.
Hey can I get a Dark and Stormy and a Mexican Dew?
Turns to Jack Hammer
So JH, is Candle Lighter destroyed?LJ points to the large cooler on the bar with a big note that says:
Think of what you want, reach in and pull it out. This is an everfull cooler. No abusing it. It's a holy relic. LJ
So, i guess i shouldn't fill the fridge then...
Angel of Violence walks up to the bar.
Hey can I get a Dark and Stormy and a Mexican Dew?
Turns to Jack Hammer
So JH, is Candle Lighter destroyed?LJ points to the large cooler on the bar with a big note that says:
Think of what you want, reach in and pull it out. This is an everfull cooler. No abusing it. It's a holy relic. LJWJ sees the priestess point and jumps to get at the cooler first.
I'm sorry Mistress, but I don't know what to think of in order to serve...
With a look of desperation the dwarf grabs JH's Dark & Stormy, examines it, and slams it down. He then pulls two more from the cooler. One for Angel of Violence, the other for JH.
I'm sorry, what is Mexican Dew?
Walks over to JH and whispers, What am I supposed to do about this guy? He's kind of creeping me out. I mean, I think he could be really helpful if he'd just relax a little bit..
whispers back No clue. He was fine 'til he saw you.
WJ sees the priestess point and jumps to get at the cooler first.
I'm sorry Mistress, but I don't know what to think of in order to serve...
With a look of desperation the dwarf grabs JH's Dark & Stormy, examines it, and slams it down. He then pulls two more from the cooler. One for Angel of Violence, the other for JH.
I'm sorry, what is Mexican Dew?
Please, stop! The Jacks can get their own drinks. We don't need you to do that. And you don't have to serve me. We would be glad of your assistance, but this has gone too far!
Please, stop! The Jacks can get their own drinks. We don't need you to do that. And you don't have to serve me. We would be glad of your assistance, but this has gone too far!WJ sees the priestess point and jumps to get at the cooler first.
I'm sorry Mistress, but I don't know what to think of in order to serve...
With a look of desperation the dwarf grabs JH's Dark & Stormy, examines it, and slams it down. He then pulls two more from the cooler. One for Angel of Violence, the other for JH.
I'm sorry, what is Mexican Dew?
The dwarf freezes at the rebuke. He hangs his head
How may I serve Mistress? I have my forge. My hammers are ready.
His eyes brighten Perhaps I can show you my skill?
Turns to JRHM You spoke of a damaged vorpal sword?
His eyes brighten Perhaps I can show you my skill?
Turns to JRHM You spoke of a damaged vorpal sword?
Yeah, here it is. *hands sword to Warforged*
Kneels down in front of the dwarf so that she is level with him. She holds out her hand.
I would rather have a friend than a servant. I would be more than happy to welcome you to the Jacks. We would appreciate the help of a man of your skills. Please accept this offer. And please, no more kneeling and calling me Mistress. You should be free to speak to me normally and look me in the eye when I speak to you.
Reads the note on the cooler. Shrugs. Stocks the fridge to the brim with alcohol. Then walks out.
Well.. There you go, anyway..
Reads the note on the cooler. Shrugs. Stocks the fridge to the brim with alcohol. Then walks out.
Well.. There you go, anyway..
Smiles and shakes her head.
I should have known the minute that I said, don't abuse it, one of them would have to try.
Kneels down in front of the dwarf so that she is level with him. She holds out her hand.
I would rather have a friend than a servant. I would be more than happy to welcome you to the Jacks. We would appreciate the help of a man of your skills. Please accept this offer. And please, no more kneeling and calling me Mistress. You should be free to speak to me normally and look me in the eye when I speak to you.
Takes the sword from JRHM with a bow.
The dwarf tries to look at LJ's face but is unable to do so
I have served nigh on 6 decades. I have been forged in servitude to the Celestial Court, and my metal tested many times in this world. I do not know if I can do as you ask.
his rugged face brightens a bit as it falls again to the sword But I do know what I CAN do.
By your leave?
By all means, she says, glad to see the dwarf acting a little more normal.
And I'm only half celestial you know. And not really part of the dealings of the celestial courts. It's complicated.
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Angel of Violence walks up to the bar.
Hey can I get a Dark and Stormy and a Mexican Dew?
Turns to Jack Hammer
So JH, is Candle Lighter destroyed?LJ points to the large cooler on the bar with a big note that says:
Think of what you want, reach in and pull it out. This is an everfull cooler. No abusing it. It's a holy relic. LJWJ sees the priestess point and jumps to get at the cooler first.
I'm sorry Mistress, but I don't know what to think of in order to serve...
With a look of desperation the dwarf grabs JH's Dark & Stormy, examines it, and slams it down. He then pulls two more from the cooler. One for Angel of Violence, the other for JH.
I'm sorry, what is Mexican Dew?
It's equal parts tequila and Mountain Dew. But you don't ahve to get it for me, that's why we have PJ and Reggie.
It's complicated.
This gets a small smile from the dwarf. He still bows slightly as he exits with the sword, grabbing his pack on the way.
Outside the dwarf sets his burden down and begins examining the grounds to the side of the Clubhouse. He slams his fist down into the ground several times, causing small craters and looking displeased. He finally finds a spot where the ground holds up to his punches. He gathers up his gear and begins unrolling a plain, but large, camping tent. Stepping back he mutters something that sounds half-dwarven/half-celestial and the tent expands to about 12'x12' and sets itself up. The dwarf grabs the damaged sword and heads inside.
Soon, smokes billows from the top of the tent and the sound of a hammer strikes begin. Between the strikes mumblings can be heard
Crude, but effective...seen its share of battles...not as good as an axe or hammer...
Plantjack wonders why the mortals must always form conclusions based on what sex the other was. 'Gender is overrated...' it muses.
Several hours later Warforged Jack returns to the Clubhouse and his eyes search around for the presnce of LJ. Not seeing her he simply presents JRHM his restored vorpal sword. The sword gleams as it had when it was newly forged. It's sharp edge silvered.
I hope it pleases you Master Jack. I have silvered the blade so that lyncanthropes should fear it. I could do more with more time...Unless you could let me talk you into a proper weapon?
If I may add Master Jack, you remind me of a friend of mine from my younger days. We called him Thumbs. One day the showers in the Celestial Halls stopped working. Thumbs was sent to fix the plumbing. Now, mind you plumbing and smithing are two distinct skills. He chuckles a bit at this turn of phrase Well. Thumbs was never any good at plumbing so he botched the job, and mixed up the whole pipeworks. Several avatars got a true golden shower that day! and Thumbs got his nickname!
The dwarf roars merrily at the memory
Calls over from the couch
Hey Stumpy! You got a good weapon for me? I am tired of guns. I need a new clobbering stick.
Calls over from the couch
Hey Stumpy! You got a good weapon for me? I am tired of guns. I need a new clobbering stick.
Custom or already made? Tell you what. You bring a keg of some decent dwarven ale to my Forge and maybe we can find you something.
The dwarf turns around and heads outside.
You don't happen to have a +5 ever-full intoxicating golembane beerstein laying about anywhere, do you?
..Just sayin...
Looks over at SCJ as he totes a keg of Morian Oat Stout out to WJ.
I think that stein's in the dishwasher dude. No ones cleaned up since Alaina stole my robot ...
Several hours later Warforged Jack returns to the Clubhouse and his eyes search around for the presnce of LJ. Not seeing her he simply presents JRHM his restored vorpal sword. The sword gleams as it had when it was newly forged. It's sharp edge silvered.
I hope it pleases you Master Jack. I have silvered the blade so that lyncanthropes should fear it. I could do more with more time...Unless you could let me talk you into a proper weapon?
If I may add Master Jack, you remind me of a friend of mine from my younger days. We called him Thumbs. One day the showers in the Celestial Halls stopped working. Thumbs was sent to fix the plumbing. Now, mind you plumbing and smithing are two distinct skills. He chuckles a bit at this turn of phrase Well. Thumbs was never any good at plumbing so he botched the job, and mixed up the whole pipeworks. Several avatars got a true golden shower that day! and Thumbs got his nickname!
The dwarf roars merrily at the memory
*laughs* *slaps the dwarf on the back* That was quite a story. Nah, I want to keep my sword. It's been with me a long time. Now, let me try my sword and see how how well it works. *starts practicing a few moves with it* Wow, you've done a great job with it. It feels better than new! I can't wait to try it out in combat. *hands the dwarf a keg* Here's some Dwarven Ale for your trouble.
Looks over at SCJ as he totes a keg of Morian Oat Stout out to WJ.
As Malice opens the flap of WJ's 'tent' he finds it is anything but. The inside is about 60'x60' and made of stone block. Weapons of all types line the walls, along with crates, benches, and barrels. In the center of the room a large forge sits, its sides covered in a variety of runes. The room is a bit smoky but bearable.
The dwarf wears a leather apron and is stoking the coals.
Ahh, welcome Master Jack. Is that a barrel I see under your arm?
Ahh, welcome Master Jack. Is that a barrel I see under your arm?
Looks around
Nice shack Stumpy! I got me some Morian Oat Stout from the cellar, figured you'd like that.
Places keg on floor of tent
What did you have in mind for weaponry?
Ahh, welcome Master Jack. Is that a barrel I see under your arm?
Looks around
Nice shack Stumpy! I got me some Morian Oat Stout from the cellar, figured you'd like that.
Places keg on floor of tent
What did you have in mind for weaponry?
Ahh, Morian Stout. Good stuff. Thank you Master Jack. gestures absently over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the cask 'Prentis, bring us a couple o' tankards and a tapper...Not that you idiot...the Blue Steel tankards...nothin' but the best for our first guest from the Clan of Jack.
An unseen servant delivers the requested items and the dwarf taps the cask expertly. He fills the two tankards and hands the first to Malice. It appears to be made of blue metal and is cold to the touch. On it is carved a scene of two dragons fighting. The detail is exquisite. The stout within has been chilled to perfection.
Now Master Jack, what type of weapon do you prefer? I can replace your EM-Sis-Teen if you wish. Or do you wish to upgrade to an axe or a hammer? Up close and personal like? One- or Two- handed? smashin' or slashin'? I have a full supply of metals to choose from...
Malice ponders
I think I'd like a big, honking axe. 'Course, if you can put a rifle barrel or a grenade launcher integrated into the haft I wouldn't complain ...
Slurps chilled stout
*sniff*
Me have feelings too!
LJ wanders out, a faint golden glow (and I do mean that literally) clinging to her.
What's going on guys?
Malice ponders
I think I'd like a big, honking axe. 'Course, if you can put a rifle barrel or a grenade launcher integrated into the haft I wouldn't complain ...
Slurps chilled stout
Ahhh...I've seen them before I think. A combination long rifle with an axe head below the muzzle...it needs to be properly balanced... the metal thick but not too much so...
The dwarf gets up and begins padding around the forge. The weapons on the wall he stops at change as he thinks. Like a mirage. Assorted axes, pole arms, and rifles. He begins thumbing thru a collection of metal rod stock. It appears to be a king's ransom of raw materials here.
Perhaps a Bar-Ing-Ton type of rifle with a single axe head...? That might work...with Brilliant Energy rounds every third shot for those pesky tin cans...no offense intended sir. Adamantium head...definitely...darkwood stock...no...ironwood...weighted...armor piercing rounds standard. Do you have a favored enemy? You know bane preference, or mayhaps prefer Holy?
WJ brings an armload of material and places them at Malice's feet. He begins sketching the weapon, adding a spike at the rifle butt 'just in case'. He presents the very detailed sketch
Is this what you're thinkin'? I can do something else if you prefer. Perhaps a double axe head?
I bet I can run him over with the Jackmobile.*engine revs* Did someone call for the Jackmobile?
Nice car. she says with an appreciative smile. I bet it can go almost as fast as me.
Just the same old fun a frivality. Wanna join in?LJ wanders out, a faint golden glow (and I do mean that literally) clinging to her.
What's going on guys?
I am definitely in the mood for fun and frivolity, she says with a wicked grin. What are we doing today?
Lady, you have yourself a bet. Hop in and we'll put it to tha test.Nice car. she says with an appreciative smile. I bet it can go almost as fast as me.I bet I can run him over with the Jackmobile.*engine revs* Did someone call for the Jackmobile?
I should warn you that I have the wind on my side. Just tell me when you're ready.
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I am definitely in the mood for fun and frivolity, she says with a wicked grin. What are we doing today?Just the same old fun a frivality. Wanna join in?LJ wanders out, a faint golden glow (and I do mean that literally) clinging to her.
What's going on guys?
I think we're trying to see who can be the first to inflict massive bodily harm to the Messageboard Monster.
LJ wanders out, a faint golden glow (and I do mean that literally) clinging to her.
What's going on guys?
JH removes the cucumbers from over his eyes and lifts himself slightly from where he had been 'tanning' next to the volleyball court.
Good morning sleepyhead. You're missing the best rays. Oops, looks like you still have your own.
I think Malice is in the tent with your new admirer. Something about 'checking out his collection' or something like that. Maybe I'll see if he can do something with my hammer. He did a pretty good job with JRHM's vorpal.
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I should warn you that I have the wind on my side. Just tell me when you're ready.Lady, you have yourself a bet. Hop in and we'll put it to tha test.Nice car. she says with an appreciative smile. I bet it can go almost as fast as me.I bet I can run him over with the Jackmobile.*engine revs* Did someone call for the Jackmobile?
Before we start, what are the stakes?
LJ wanders out, a faint golden glow (and I do mean that literally) clinging to her.
What's going on guys?JH removes the cucumbers from over his eyes and lifts himself slightly from where he had been 'tanning' next to the volleyball court.
Good morning sleepyhead. You're missing the best rays. Oops, looks like you still have your own.
I think Malice is in the tent with your new admirer. Something about 'checking out his collection' or something like that. Maybe I'll see if he can do something with my hammer. He did a pretty good job with JRHM's vorpal.
Sounds good, hon. It still seems weird seeing you without your hammer.
I'll be back to catch some rays, or whatever other mischief we can dream up, just as soon as I finish this race.
Before we start, what are the stakes?
Bragging rights aren't enough for you?
Launches an alchemist fire infused crossbow bolt at Messageboard Monster Drat, I missed, but I managed to get the barbacue grill. Somebody find a pig.
Did someone say pig roast? Tries casting Summon Bacon and fails
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Before we start, what are the stakes?Bragging rights aren't enough for you?
Braggin rights are just fine hon. revs the engine Go. Pushing his car as fast as he can, the mysterious driver is suprised when the race ends in a tie. Shoot lady, you are fast. You that fast at everything you do? wink wink
*takes a swing with his vorpal sword and tries to decapitate the message board monster* I missed again!
Braggin rights are just fine hon. revs the engine Go. Pushing his car as fast as he can, the mysterious driver is suprised when the race ends in a tie. Shoot lady, you are fast. You that fast at everything you do? wink winkBefore we start, what are the stakes?Bragging rights aren't enough for you?
She laughs. You'd have to ask JH about that. A lady never reveals that sort of information. You're right about that being a fast car. Good race. Stick around. Sounds like they're planning a cookout.
She heads over to the nearest free lawn space for some sunbathing.