The Angry Jack Cult


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Frat Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Hey! We're not dumb, we're.... wait a minute. What was I talking about again?
Dunno... can't remember... Want more beer?

Sounds good to me!

Sovereign Court

Sebastian wrote:
Sebastianity Convert Jack wrote:

You mean this photo?

That is hot.

Keep your hooves to yourself.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Frat Jack wrote:

-all the way back in the locker room-

I'm.... I think I'll try this "red wine" stuff that I "found" on Panama Jack's locker...

*bits off the cork and gulps it down straight from the bottle*

Uh, FJ. Are you sure that's a good idea to drink that? That might be a magical lotion and not alcohol.

I say...Reggie tells me one of my crates has gone missing. It was an experiment lotion whipped up by my friend the wizard - Anti-Poodle Lotion - and the bottles were supposed to have been shipped to the labeler, but the crate seems to have been misplaced? Any of you chaps seen it around?


Panama Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Frat Jack wrote:

-all the way back in the locker room-

I'm.... I think I'll try this "red wine" stuff that I "found" on Panama Jack's locker...

*bits off the cork and gulps it down straight from the bottle*

Uh, FJ. Are you sure that's a good idea to drink that? That might be a magical lotion and not alcohol.
I say...Reggie tells me one of my crates has gone missing. It was an experiment lotion whipped up by my friend the wizard - Anti-Poodle Lotion - and the bottles were supposed to have been shipped to the labeler, but the crate seems to have been misplaced? Any of you chaps seen it around?

I think Frat Jack drank it. What will this "anti-poodle" lotion do?


Oh my...the wizard said pointedly that it was still experimental, and that it was definitely "topical use only," you see. I'm rather concerned, but have no idea what the effects might be. Dear...dear...

The Exchange

I heard some people were looking for some crates. I seem to have a few to spare. for um the right price....


Panama Jack wrote:
Oh my...the wizard said pointedly that it was still experimental, and that it was definitely "topical use only," you see. I'm rather concerned, but have no idea what the effects might be. Dear...dear...

Frat Jack knows how to get himself into trouble doesn't he?


No, Crimson Jester, I don't need crates in general--the company has a supplier. But if Frat Jack drank all those bottles, I fear for the consequences.

Yes, Righto, he certainly does, what-what! Perhaps I should have Reggie go look for him while I try to get hold of the wizard on the telemirror.


Oooohhh ... there might be a need of an autopsy ... or at least a radical colonoscopy.

Grabs Acme Depot™ home surgery kit and some spare twine.


Malice Jack wrote:

Oooohhh ... there might be a need of an autopsy ... or at least a radical colonoscopy.

Grabs Acme Depot™ home surgery kit and some spare twine.

Before you do any work on Frat Jack, you might want to practice on one of the thieves or a meddlesome pony.


Meh. Those theives are real slippery and the only pony I ever see around here is a mean cuss and I really don't feel like getting bit.


Malice Jack wrote:
Meh. Those theives are real slippery and the only pony I ever see around here is a mean cuss and I really don't feel like getting bit.

Well, you could always give one of the poodles an anal probe. Give them a dog biscuit and a lot of beer and you'll have an instant volunteer.


Panama Jack wrote:
Oh my...the wizard said pointedly that it was still experimental, and that it was definitely "topical use only," you see. I'm rather concerned, but have no idea what the effects might be. Dear...dear...

Those wild Frat guys step into yet another one. Last time they got a hold of a box of suppositories, didn't read the instructions and warnings, and were popping them like Good 'n Plenty. Man, what a mess that was!


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Give them a dog biscuit and a lot of beer and you'll have an instant volunteer.

Sort of like your mom, well, except that she turned down the dog biscuit.


OOOOOOO... SNAP!


CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Give them a dog biscuit and a lot of beer and you'll have an instant volunteer.
Sort of like your mom, well, except that she turned down the dog biscuit.

Watch it fleabag.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Watch it fleabag.

See the violence inherent in the Jacks?


CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Watch it fleabag.
See the violence inherent in the Jacks?

*kick* See the poodle fly through the air.


Help! Help! A poodle's being opressed!


Anarcho-Syndicalist Peasant wrote:
Help! Help! A poodle's being opressed!

*Glances at Jacks*

Ooh, Dennis, there's a lot of filth down here.
Heh heh...


Anarcho-Syndicalist Peasant wrote:
Help! Help! A poodle's being opressed!

Spews single malt scotch everywhere.

Reggie! A peasant has breached the sanctity of the clubhouse, and I don't mean one of the servants! Get this anarchist out of here! And be sure he is properly oppressed!


Right away, Sir!
Let's go, you.
Grabs Anarcho-Syndicalist Peasant by the scruff of the neck and marches to the door handing him over to


the waiting monstrous mitts of the Ape, who grips him firmly and heaves him up into the rafters above the porte-cochere, whence are heard his long, muffled screams.


Jackin' Ape wrote:
the waiting monstrous mitts of the Ape, who grips him firmly and heaves him up into the rafters above the porte-cochere, whence are heard his long, muffled screams.

That's it. Keep tenderizing him for Plantjack!


I say, Righto, did that pestiferous poodle bring in his own ape?


Panama Jack wrote:
I say, Righto, did that pestiferous poodle bring in his own ape?

Jack's Right Hand Man is not affiliated with me.


I hear tinny yapping, Righto, that interferes with my ascertaining the provenance, or ownership, of the evil monkey that appeared of late in the clubhouse.


Panama Jack wrote:
I hear tinny yapping, Righto, that interferes with my ascertaining the provenance, or ownership, of the evil monkey that appeared of late in the clubhouse.

What monkey would that be? The peasant? I don't have a clue who owns him or how he got here.


CourtFool wrote:
Panama Jack wrote:
I say, Righto, did that pestiferous poodle bring in his own ape?
Jack's Right Hand Man is not affiliated with me.

At least I'm not a poodle. Probably the lowest form of life along with the cockroach.


I'm just here for the Cheetos and the dozens Rudyard Jackling.

**munch**


Evil Monkey wrote:

I'm just here for the Cheetos and the dozens Rudyard Jackling.

**munch**

Oh, that monkey. I don't have a clue where he came from. Hey, let's watch Jackin' Ape mess him up.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Evil Monkey wrote:

I'm just here for the Cheetos and the dozens Rudyard Jackling.

**munch**

Oh, that monkey. I don't have a clue where he came from. Hey, let's watch Jackin' Ape mess him up.

10 gold on Jackin' Ape

20 gold on frat Jack 'messin' both of them up, since he drank that lotion. Anyone got a mop and bucket?

Scarab Sages

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Liberty's Edge

Man, we are getting so full of monkeys that we may need a new monkey cult.


Smelling the presence of another ape, Jackin' swings back into the clubhouse, dusting peasant off of his mitts, and looks at the diminutive talking ape. He sniffs and bares his teeth. Is this a female? Guarding the Jacks' clubhouse is a lonely job for a monstrous fiendish dire gorilla.


Jackin' Ape wrote:
Smelling the presence of another ape, Jackin' swings back into the clubhouse, dusting peasant off of his mitts, and looks at the diminutive talking ape. He sniffs and bares his teeth. Is this a female? Guarding the Jacks' clubhouse is a lonely job for a monstrous fiendish dire gorilla.

*notices some of the areas that Jackin' Ape is sniffing* I think I better go get the water hose.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jackin' Ape wrote:
Smelling the presence of another ape, Jackin' swings back into the clubhouse, dusting peasant off of his mitts, and looks at the diminutive talking ape. He sniffs and bares his teeth. Is this a female? Guarding the Jacks' clubhouse is a lonely job for a monstrous fiendish dire gorilla.
*notices some of the areas that Jackin' Ape is sniffing* I think I better go get the water hose.

Nah, we should leave them to their privacy...


Don't waste the effort or the water, Righto. If things take an amorous turn, we won't be able to do anything except run and hope that the magical reinforcements will hold the house together until it's over.


Panama Jack wrote:
Don't waste the effort or the water, Righto. If things take an amorous turn, we won't be able to do anything except run and hope that the magical reinforcements will hold the house together until it's over.

Ok, he's your ape. I wonder what their baby would look like?


Jackin' Ape has never reproduced that I know of--he came into my possession as a very small ape. It has made me worry that he might be the last of his kind. We've stored his DNA and frozen sperm samples in different locations, just in case they're ever needed. He seems to be waiting for some response from the evil monkey. If she(?) makes him wait too much longer, he will likely just crush her(?) as an intruder.


Panama Jack wrote:
Oh my...the wizard said pointedly that it was still experimental, and that it was definitely "topical use only," you see. I'm rather concerned, but have no idea what the effects might be. Dear...dear...

Humm... no wonder I started growing hair on funny places... and felt the odd urge of going like this:

"licks Panama Jack*


Malice Jack wrote:

Oooohhh ... there might be a need of an autopsy ... or at least a radical colonoscopy.

Grabs Acme Depot™ home surgery kit and some spare twine.

Easy there! I don't fancy your toys my friends, and despite the fact that my shiny meta @$$ is quite kissable, I don't like fellow Jack near it!

*shaves off the new funny, curly hair*


Jack Hammer wrote:
Those wild Frat guys step into yet another one. Last time they got a hold of a box of suppositories, didn't read the instructions and warnings, and were popping them like Good 'n Plenty. Man, what a mess that was!

Yeah, and I remember you didn't complain much whe it was your turn! Just a fair reason for the rule "All Jacks must refrain of approaching fellow member behinds, either for fun or profit".

We should get some "shame" software to avoid taking this kind of action... :P


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Watch it fleabag.
See the violence inherent in the Jacks?
*kick* See the poodle fly through the air.

Hey! What's with the kicking and anal probing?!?!?! How rude! The moment our leader returns you go all nasty on us... gotta talk to CJ about this!

*Wimpers like a sisy furry dog...wait...do'h...*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
At least I'm not a poodle. Probably the lowest form of life along with the cockroach.

You forgot to mention cooles and cutest life for ever!

Yip yip!

*Licks JRHM*

Dark Archive

Master, oh master; why don't you come and put an end to this foolishness?

Liberty's Edge

Agreed, we should be going back to doing eeeevvviiil now the CJ is back.

Dark Archive

It is time for the Jacks to assimilate all the other cults and turn them all into Jack.


Llamafrog wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
At least I'm not a poodle. Probably the lowest form of life along with the cockroach.

You forgot to mention cooles and cutest life for ever!

Yip yip!

*Licks JRHM*

*pats llamafrog* Perhaps I have been unfair with you poodles of late. I will try to treat you better.


Cultist of Jack wrote:
Agreed, we should be going back to doing eeeevvviiil now the CJ is back.

I agree. We've been soft for too long.

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