Undead Monster

Evil Monkey's page

192 posts. Alias of Patrick Curtin.


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Believe it!

Sharoth wrote:
Adrian Cronauer wrote:

Hey! Wait a minute! ~pulls off your mask~ I know why you are now!

** spoiler omitted **



I'm a Buddhist, but I fall off the prayer mat occasionally

Hey, how YOU doin'?







EVIL MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn. Still in the E's? Guh.

♪ Evil monkey holds the key ♪ ♪ Evil monkey's gonna get me ♪

♪ I'm hiding underneath my sheets for fear he'll point and show his teeth ♪

♪ Evil, evil monkey! ♪

♪ Evil, evil monkey, OWW!! ♪

"GentleGiant wrote:
And you're absolutely right, are you going to organize a campaign to get Ralph Nader or Mike Gravel to run again? :-)


I voted for Nader in 2000. I respect his positions, and I have a soft spot for the underdog. I detest the fannish worship both of the proponents of the mainstream parties seem to offer. Voting party lines for an inferior candidate to punish another party is stupid. I vote the person, not the party. If I was going Democrat I'd probably lean towards Gravel. Although I have reservations about some of his stances, he seems more committed and real than many other Dems.

And as for Dr. Pauls religious stance? It is a personal choice, not one he is actively trying to legislate, unlike some of his contemporaries. So, would I vote for someone who honestly believes these things, yet has time and again said that his beliefs aren't going to be part of his legislative agenda, rather than either someone on the Right who is totally committed to doing just that or the current president who spent 20 years in a pretty radical Christian congregation? Yeah, I'll do that.

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Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Well, despite the meme that Libertarians want to become slaves of the corporations, I detest most of the multinats. Especially Monsanto, the Great Food Satan. They make reams of laws in collusion with the government, so that if needs be they can beggar anyone without a legal team on retainer. And we let them in the name of 'safety'. The roadblocks to getting any business started today are staggering. And the petty bureaucrats get their pound of flesh at every turn. And Krishna forbid you piss one of them off, then the building/heatlh/Environment inspector comes out to make your life suck.

As you said earlier, workers will organize, as they are starting to do in China. You can't infuse a population with prosperity and expect them to remain compliant forever. I'm certain there will be a Tianamen II eventually, despite the draconian efforts of the CCP. India is rapidly becoming a nation to contend with. Even Brazil is beginning to become a force in the Southern Hemisphere.

I'm sure the Mexican border cities (one of which I saw and travelled through first hand whilst stationed near it.) would love it more if the government wasn't in the pocket of the drug cartels, thus allowing the many people there to become prey to whatever twisted crap goes on. Or the many folks in the colonias of Ciudad Juarez who are looking to just make enough to raise a family, or maybe duck over the Rio Grande to somewhere where they might have a chance of living under the rule of law, rather than the sad mess that they suffer under. I helped build a family a house there. I saw how they live. But you know what? They were trying to improve their life as best they could. as do we all.

So what to do? Keep pumping up a president who appoints Monsanto and other corporate stooges to his 'Czar' positions? Vote for a bible-thumping dominionist who focuses on social issues while Foggybottom goes broke?

Or maybe, just maybe, vote for someone that both parties seem to want to vilify. Someone the media on both sides is ignoring. Someone who has been a lone voice in the wilderness for 20 years, trying to show how the government in collusion with these massive multinationals and the lawyers are stealing the treasury dry.

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

No, not really. Most of the time the communists keep getting gunned down by death squads paid for and trained by the United States.

Cuba was able to do some amazing things with health care and education, but they, of course, were artificially propped-up by the much richer Soviet Union. The Castroites weren't real big on freedom and democracy, either, but few Latin American countries are for very long.

And I don't know what "mordita" means, but I have heard the word "maquiladora." Fun places, those.

La Mordida (previous spelling mistake mine: Lo siento, I do not speak much Spanish.) directly translates as 'the bite'. It is slang for 'bribe' and is customarily used to denote the lovely Latin custom of having to pay off every government (or anyone really) official to actually do their job. Those who can pay, get services. Those who can't, don't get services. As far as I know, this operates under every type of government tried there.

As for the maquiladoras, I'm sure the folks working there are happy they have that job, considering their other options. Of course, it drains jobs that US workers could do (at ten times the cost), but try and erect some trade barriers against that. We can't even keep the border shut from illegal immigration or drugs. Make them maquiladoras illegal and they'll just move deeper into Mexico and make a whole new black market.

Has there been a Communist government big on democracy and freedoms? Just curious. How about a Communist country that people have clamored to immigrate to? Illegally? How about a Communist country that allows its citizens to emigrate if they wish?

And, believe it or not, I agree with GentleGiant. No true 'ism' ever works. Pure Libertarianism is just as pie-in-the-sky as Das Capital (and a kissing cousin IMO. The State withering away..Lulz aplenty). The crux of the discussion is just how much of Ism A, how much of Ism B. Does a strong Federal system work better than a more loose-union-of-states system? I dunno, ask the EU right about now.

Strong federal government works for certain things. Infrastructure. Defense. Long term investments like space exploration. It seems to do a poor job of fiscal policy, mayhap because it's always Someone Else's Money. It's easy to spend when it isn't yours. And pork = votes. At least it did, hopefully that paradigm is changing a bit.

With globalization it's all too easy to shuttle jobs around to where they're cheapest (as with maquiladoras). The plus side is that the wages may seem poor to Westerners, but to the poor shmuck used to working a rice paddy or a sugarcane field it looks like heaven come to earth.

The scut jobs will fly around the globe: China, India, Vietnam. Then maybe some of the more stable SubSaharan African nations or some of the North African nations undergoing Arab Springs next as the last group of nations' workers begin to prosper and demand higher wages. As long as transport is cheap. LCD* will always win. Heck, I just read that workers in China debone salmon caught in the North Sea which are then sent to America. Imagine that, it's cheaper to hire someone to fillet a fish thousands of miles away from its origin and it then hits markets thousands of miles from there before going bad.

Also, the genie is out of the bottle. Protectionism is unworkable. Read a little history about the last time during a fiscal crisis we decided to put big tarrifs up to save 'American jobs'. We didn't have a trading partner holding 900 billion on us then either. China they can use that leverage to scuttle any protectionist legislature we try.

*LCD- Lowest Common Denominator.

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Because that worked so well in Latin America.

The land of la Mordita? Pray tell, has Communism fared any better there?

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Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Evil Monkey wrote:
Benicio Del Espada wrote:
China totally subsidizes their solar industry.

And their currency ...

And their companies ...

And just about anything else except labor unions and worker rights...

Yay for Communism!

Actually, from what I've been reading in the past year or so, China experienced a pretty big strike-wave which led the CCP to raise the minimum wage.

Which led the multinationals (or at least some of them) to leave their factories in the Special Economic Zones and move on to Vietnam and India where labor is even cheaper.

Yay capitalism!

Which will lead to their workers making more money, thus demanding a higher standard of living, raising another group of people up from oppression .

Yay for capitalism indeed!

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Benicio Del Espada wrote:
China totally subsidizes their solar industry.

And their currency ...

And their companies ...

And just about anything else except labor unions and worker rights...

Yay for Communism!

Soooo ....

Let's start a trade war and block their imports!

...Oh yeah. They hold $900 BILLION in our T bills.

Guess what? That means we can't do S!#+ to them. And that is the fault of BOTH parties spending like drunken sailors on leave.

Ergo, we need some fiscal sanity before we have to give them Alaska in trade.

Enter ... Dr. Paul ;)

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
GM Goblin King wrote:

Undercut by the Chinese. The freemarket solution is to treat our workers like they treat theirs, then we can compete!

Mmm-hmm. Tell it like is, Comrade GM Goblin!

Man, must be getting so close to Fall with all the strawmen popping up .....

Don't federally subsidize an industry you can't compete in then. Or did the fact the Chinese can undercut us somehow escape notice when they were handing out pallets of cash?

thejeff wrote:

I disagree. We need more spending not less. Massive infrastructure investment, partly as stimulus and partly because our infrastructure is outdated and in poor repair. Public transit, high-speed rail, alternative energy, a smart electrical grid, etc.

Solyndra files for bankrupcy, taking $500 Mil in Taxpayer funds with it down the crapper

Of course it was preceeeded by Evergreen Solar, pet green project of Gov. "Tax it all" Deval of Massachusetts. Say goodbye to $60 million, Mass taxpayers.

Yeah, infrastructure spending. Falling right into the pockets of heavy Dem supporters. Nice.

I'm sure this 'librarian paradise' will morph into a robot pirate base shaking down passing motorists for oil. Obviously without a stack of Dewey Decimal tags and a fleet of steel-haired matrons a library can't function effectively

Aberzombie wrote:
Evil Monkey wrote:
BrewMaster Aberzombie wrote:
On the other hand, we get a good selection of European imports. Almost makes me think I should be doing a "nyah nyah nyah"....
Just don't drink any of that Zywiec stuff. Tastes like it went through a pig's kidneys first before they bottled it =P
It bothers me that you would know what something tastes like after it has been circulated through a pig's kidneys. :)

I am evil, you know ;)

BrewMaster Aberzombie wrote:
On the other hand, we get a good selection of European imports. Almost makes me think I should be doing a "nyah nyah nyah"....

Just don't drink any of that Zywiec stuff. Tastes like it went through a pig's kidneys first before they bottled it =P

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
{must not mention Uri's construction of the secret Illudium Rule-34 Explosive Space Modulator}
Ah, good. I wish him the best of luck in his classes. At least he's not working on an Illudiam Rule-34 Explosive Space Modulator or anything. That would be awful!
{makes note for possible screenplay/remake Planet of the BttH set on post-apocalyptic Illudium Rule-34 world with Freehold reprising the Chuck Heston role.}

Get your hands off my ya yas you damn dirty human!

The previous edition of this thread had a lot more Teterian Naturalism to it. I blame Ross for the new edition of this thread's MMO feel.

Urizen wrote:
Hopefully we won't have this discussion three years from now. ;-)


Aberzombie wrote:
Everything's better with monkeys!

Or Gorillaz...

VA va va VOOM!

yellowdingo wrote:
Hold on...the henchman who hid in the Tomb needed only be a thief (read spell scrolls ability)

Someone get St. Dismas on the line!

onesickgnome wrote:
Jesus posts here? Does he play D&D? Jack Chick is gonna be PISSED.

Yeah, he's the ultimate Rules lawyer.

"You're dead dude!"
"Nope! I cast Resurrection from a scroll!"
"What scroll?"
"The one my henchman hid in the tomb when they sealed it up!"
"Ok, how do you cast Resurrection on YOURSELF?"
"Uh, well the henchman hid in the tomb too! I mean, what else is a 25 CHA good for if your minions don't have your back?"
"Yeah but you're the cleric."
"Uh, but .."

Urizen wrote:
Ironically ... I've never once surfed onto Mr. Skin.

LOL, sorry man, tried to go the high road with the quiote, but my Evil Monkey nature got the best of me =P

EM Heads out to his vine-wrapped treehouse. He calls over his massive hairy shoulder:

"Sorry boss, but I don't mess with kender. I'll holla at you later."

He diappears into the forest canopy of the Jungle.

Watches the kender in amusement.

"That was random. Hey boss, how's it hangin'? Been a while since we had a party. You still down with dem fiendish dryad biotches?"

A large form emerges from the jungle, dressed in the tatters of an Armani suit. A foul-smelling cigar is clamped in its large prothagonus tusked jaw. It mutters as it heads for a large treefort covered in ropy vines.

"Man, I gotta remember to take the BLUE pill next time! Ugh."

peeks in

You spelled the thread name wrong. Carry on ..

Goes to check out baseball scores

hee hee hee

"I may be an advanced Half-vampiric half-dragon half-titan Bar-Igura, but I aint flame proof!"

Runs shreiking for the hills

Mr.Fishy wrote:
You monkeys sicken Mr. Fishy.

Well, Mr. Fishy sickens Evil Monkey! Especially when Mr. Fishy's been bloating in the sun for a while before Evil Monkey snarfles him! (yum!)

Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:
I'll work on the midget monkey ninjas...

I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Dragonborn3 wrote:
Or a monkey if your character's name is Alladin. :p


Hannibal Lecter wrote:
flash_cxxi wrote:
Gobble Leaver wrote:
Too tough and stringy...
Not if you marinate them and leave them out to hang for a day or so.

A meat injector with a nice wine and garlic marinade does wonders as well.

Dogbert wrote:
jocundthejolly wrote:
Later it was discovered that common chimps can really be quite violent. Warfare has been observed, and there are some 'psycho' chimps as well. Among Goodall's chimps there was a mother-daughter team, Pom and Passion, who committed infanticide and ate their victims.
Is this a bad time to realise there's an evil monkey in my closet? o_o;

Jumps out and points finger at Dogbert

LOL thanks, but I'm done arguing. It just gets under my skin, and I still feel like crizap today.

Maybe I'll eat a vrock or two ...

Not yet but I'm tempted to over here


Jesus Christ wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
... with fear and trembling.

Pontius called for you JC. Wondering where you hid the Purell

If the kobolds got shafted then there's only one thing left to do. Build a bonfire, and put the shaft on a crank and slow roast them for six hours and serve with assorted veggies. YUM!

Mac Boyce wrote:
hands the EVIL MONKEY a +4 Banana of Drow Punishing


Chases Moorluck around

Moorluck wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Evening FAWLTers
Good evening evil monkey.


Where'z the succubi?

Looks at Ethel


Vanishes in a puff of banana-scented sulphur smoke

Evil Monkey has traded in Tony Bahama for John Gotti. Enclosed in a flashy Armani suit with an open shirt complimented with a Mr. T starter kit, he bumps and grinds his way across the dance floor. His oversized Italian leather shoes stomp many a dainty toe on the way.

The fiendish nymphs and dryads get out of the pool and take the chairs around EM. The large ape has changed into some cargo shorts and a loud open Hawaiian shirt, his furry belly supporting a large roast beef sub and a cold Budweiser. A large Cuban cigar smoulders in a silver ashtray by his side. A redheaded fiendish dryad begins rubbing his shoulders as he chatters into his Blackberry.

Yeah, yeah, sell at 6 larva, not a maggot less, kay? How're the futures on contracted souls? Uh huh ... uh huh ... good!

He takes a large bite of his sub and chews messily, getting crumbs on his belly. The surrounding nymphs rush to tease them from his fur. He talks through his bite into the phone, spraying bread bits all over it.

Kay, keep me posted palie. I'm at a do, only ring me if the floor falls out of the market.

Hangs up phone and swigs beer

Ahh... This is the existence.

Evil Monkey lounges and takes in the view

Much nicer from this angle

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